An Indecent Longing

by Stephanie Julian

  Might as well add pathetic to your list of accomplishments.

  Huffing out a sigh, she grabbed her purse off her desk and headed for the front door.

  And stopped short in the waiting room.

  Ben sat on the long couch against the wall.

  As she blinked, his head popped up and he tossed the magazine he’d been reading on the coffee table. Then he stood and she found her eyes tracking his every movement.

  “Hey. How’s Blank?”

  Ben looked alert and none the worse for wear, although his reddish-brown hair looked like he’d been running his fingers through it.

  His copper-colored eyes assessed her from head to toe in seconds flat then latched on to hers, making her blink at his steady regard. She found she couldn’t look away.

  “What are you still doing here?”

  His mouth quirked into a grin and his brows, a shade darker than the hair on his head, rose. And, wow, was the guy handsome. His masculine features were a little more boyish than Ian’s, but Ian’s and Ben’s mouths held the same appeal for her. Full. Kissable.

  Was he a good kisser? Would she ever get to find out?

  Dangerous thoughts in her needy, horny, jittery state.

  “Thought I’d see if you needed a ride home.” Then he shrugged. “Actually, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

  A rush of heat swept through her and she wanted to say thank you. Wanted to smile and let him wrap her in his arms and take care of her.

  The rational part of her brain said she should send him on his way before she offered herself up on a platter.

  “Why?” She finally got her mouth to work. “You don’t know me.”

  As his smile grew so did her confusion.

  “Because I’m a decent guy. You just need to give me a chance to prove it.”

  Chapter Two

  Damn, now this is a woman I’ll gladly take to bed.

  In worn jeans and a faded t-shirt, Dorrie Haverstick made Ben’s dick hard, a fact she’d notice if he didn’t get himself under control.

  Sure, the dress she’d had on earlier had made him take a second look but this was the real woman.

  Her dark hair hung damp, the shoulder-length waves surprisingly sexy. And she hadn’t reapplied her makeup, which she didn’t need anyway.

  She looked much younger and so much less like the polished sophisticate he’d seen at the club.

  Was this the woman Ian dreamed about at night? The dreams that kept his cousin awake most nights and made Ian grumpier than a teething toddler the next morning?

  Ben had been meaning to ask Ian about his worsening mood but hadn’t found the right time. Ian probably would’ve blown him off anyway.

  Since they’d bought into Adam Oleksy’s private security firm six months ago, Ian had thrown himself into his career change with the zeal of a recent religious convert. But now Ben had to wonder if there was something else behind his single-minded focus.

  Like maybe he was trying not to think about this woman, who continued to stare at him as if he was an alien from another planet.

  “Excuse me?”

  The question seemed to escape without her conscious knowledge, as if she had no idea what the hell he’d said. The absolutely baffled look on her face amused the hell out of him.

  This brilliant woman had no idea how much he wanted to strip her naked and see how flustered she could get when he put his mouth between her legs.

  He was about to open his mouth and flirt like hell when he noticed her eyes. Not as bright or sharp as they’d been earlier. How her lids drooped. The lady was practically asleep on her feet.

  “Or maybe you just need to let me buy you a drink. You look like you could use one.”

  He figured she’d turn him down immediately. When she didn’t…

  Well now. Isn’t that interesting?

  Then again, maybe she was just too damn tired to come up with a response.

  Then she blinked. “And where would we go for that drink? I’m not exactly dressed to go out in public.”

  As she swept her hand down her front, he felt justified in letting his gaze follow her hand.

  And realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. Not that she needed one.

  Well, fuck. He probably shouldn’t dwell on that fact. But he couldn’t make himself drag his gaze away until he’d had a damn good look.

  Probably not a good idea to get your hopes up, asshole. Ian has dibs.

  At least, that’s what he suspected.

  Too bad, because the longer Ben stared at her, the more he wanted to get to know her.

  “Would you like to come back to my place for a drink?”

  She didn’t answer right away, and he could practically see her going through every pro and con.

  “How do you know Ian?”

  He’d been expecting that one. “We work together.”

  The fact that they were cousins wasn’t exactly a secret, but his Spidey sense warned him not to disclose that fact just yet.

  Dorrie and Ian had history. And Ben found that fascinating because Ian didn’t do relationships. He had one-night stands.

  And Dorrie didn’t seem like a one-night-stand kind of girl.

  At the moment, she didn’t seem like an any-night-stand kind of girl because the look she was giving him could shrivel balls from across a crowded bar.

  She wasn’t tired enough not to realize he wasn’t giving her the whole truth.

  And then, amazingly, she dropped it.

  “Yes.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “I’d like a drink and I’d prefer not to be alone when I have it.”

  Holy shit. Well, okay then.

  “I’ve got a town house on Christian. We can go there or—”

  “That’s fine. Are you ready to leave?”

  Another shock. “Yeah, sure. Absolutely.”

  “Then let’s go.”

  She headed for the door, and he got the impression she’d made up her mind to do something but she wasn’t looking forward it.

  Then why the hell did she agree to come home with you?

  He wanted to ask but knew he’d break whatever fragile truce they’d made between them.

  The walk to his car was quiet, though not silent. He kept the conversation going by asking questions, all of which she answered. Some with only a single word, occasionally with a longer response. Once he got them on the street, though, she began to open up a little and ask her own questions.

  “So, you’re a personal security guard?”

  “Yeah.” He almost said “we” but bit it back just in time. “I work with Adam Oleksy’s firm.” Technically true. “They want to expand and I’ve got the skills they were looking for.”

  “And what skills are those?”

  “The ability to shoot straight, think fast, and not be afraid to put myself between the client and a bullet without hesitation.”

  From the corner of his eye, he saw her glance his way. “That sounds foolhardy.”

  “Not if you know what you’re doing. Then it’s a calculated risk. And some guys get off on the adrenaline rush.”

  “Do you?”

  He had a private laugh about that and answered truthfully. “Sometimes, yeah.”

  “Like tonight?”

  He looked to find her watching him closely now. Those arctic gray eyes had sharpened since they’d left the building. She still looked tired but much more focused.

  She’d keep him on his toes. He liked the sound of that.

  “Tonight was unexpected so the rush was a dump, not a steady build. Both have their charms. Make sense?”

  After a second’s hesitation, she nodded. “I suppose so. If you like dodging bullets.”

  “I take it you don’t.”

  Her expression flattened. “I’ve seen the damage bullets do. I don’t want to be anywhere near them. Of course, I had no idea that would happen tonight. I’ve never been in the line of fire before. It’s…not at all exhilarating.”

  Ben huffed
at the dry wit in her tone. Maybe he should be the one wary of being charmed.

  He hadn’t really known what to think of Dorrie, had only seen her in doctor mode so far. Physically, yeah, she was a looker but that didn’t always do it for him. He had to be attracted to a woman’s mind or he got bored. Fast.

  He didn’t think he’d be bored around Dorrie.

  You’re forgetting about your cousin.

  Yeah, for a second he had forgotten about Ian. And he was beginning to think Ian might have a lot more invested in this woman than his cousin would ever admit.

  “You seem to have held up pretty well.” Ben gave her another once-over, noticed how she looked down at her hands as if avoiding his gaze. “You did what you needed to do to save those people.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shrug. “It’s what I’m trained to do.”

  “So what kind of doctor are you?”

  “GP and Trauma. How do you know Ian?”

  He should’ve expected the question, but she’d lulled him into a false sense of security. Whether on purpose or not, he wasn’t sure. But he heard something in her voice, something that sounded…tentative. And, from what he’d seen so far, this woman was not tentative. Quiet, thoughtful, and maybe a little shy. But not tentative.

  “We’ve known each other for years. Go way back. Spent some time together in the military.”

  All true. Just missing a few details. Like the fact that they’d grown up together, sometimes lived in the same house with their grandmother if Ben’s mom went on a bender or Ian’s dad ended up in prison.

  “What branch?”

  “Army.” At least, they’d both started there.

  “Special forces?”

  He’d caught her attention now, but the military was a door Ben didn’t want to open. Too many land mines.

  “Yeah. Ian had a head start on me. What about you? You look kinda young to be a doctor with your own practice.”

  Another shrug. “I’ve always been an overachiever. I graduated high school early, got my pre-med degree in three years, and passed my boards a year ahead of schedule.”

  “And that big fancy office? Where’d that come from? You must’ve done a hell of a lot of babysitting in your spare time to afford that.”

  For the first time, she actually looked uncomfortable but the expression passed quickly and her voice held steady.

  “Family money. It came in handy.”

  He waited a beat for her to elaborate, but when it became clear she wasn’t going to, he forged ahead.

  “Well, you made good use of the money. Did you always want to be a doctor?”

  “Yes. Except for a short time when I wanted to be a paleontologist.”

  “Is that the one that hunts for dinosaur bones?”

  He glanced over to catch her quick smile and… Holy fuck, when she smiled…

  Yeah, he had no doubt Ian wanted this woman. What he hadn’t figured out was what had happened between them to make Ian treat her like a leper. And something had definitely happened.

  “Yes. What about you, Ben? What did you want to be when you grew up?”

  “Useful.”

  He felt her gaze on him like a laser. “That’s an interesting response.”

  He shrugged. “Guess I’m just an interesting guy. Get to know me a little better and maybe you’ll think so, too.”

  She fell silent again but they’d reached his townhouse. Driving around to the alley, he parked in the garage, silently breathing a sigh of relief that Ian’s car wasn’t there already.

  Ben had a vague outline of a plan, and it hinged on Ian not being home first. He just hoped like hell that he wasn’t throwing gasoline on an already flammable situation. And if he was… He’d figure something out. He always did.

  They fell silent again as she followed him through the small backyard and into the house. He almost expected her to balk at the back door, but she walked straight through when he opened it.

  “Let’s go into the living room.” He didn’t wait for her to follow, just led her through the kitchen and dining room to the front of the house. “What can I get you to drink?”

  She didn’t answer right away. She’d stopped in the middle of the room, taking everything in with those sharp eyes.

  He wondered what she thought of the bare, sky-blue walls. He and Ian had never gotten around to decorating. Mainly because they didn’t really care if there were pictures on the wall or not.

  Hell, it’d taken them three months to settle on a color to paint the walls, mainly because it’d been pretty much an afterthought. He couldn’t imagine trying to pick out artwork.

  If it’d been up to Ian, the walls would be floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. And they probably would be eventually. They just hadn’t gotten around to installing them yet.

  So far, they’d done nothing more than fix the holes in the walls, make sure the plumbing worked, and pull up the carpets so they could install hardwood flooring.

  And since Ian had a thing about strangers being in their home, they’d done all the work themselves.

  “Do you live alone?”

  “No. I live with my cousin. We’ve got scotch, bourbon, rum, tequila… We’ve got pretty much anything. What can I get you?”

  “I’ll have bourbon on the rocks.”

  “Good choice. My cousin stocks the bar and he’s a bourbon drinker so you’re in luck.”

  Ben walked to the vintage Art Deco bar Ian had found in some secondhand store in England and had paid some ungodly amount to have shipped over here. But Ben loved the damn thing, scars and all. It gave the room character.

  “How long have you lived here?”

  Glancing over his shoulder, he found she’d taken another few steps into the room.

  “We moved in about two years ago, have been working on the place ever since. Still have a lot to do. What about you? Where do you live?”

  “I have an apartment in Rittenhouse Square. It’s…nice.”

  Ben huffed out a laugh. “I’m sure it’s a lot more than nice.”

  When he turned, he found her grimacing, her nose wrinkled in a way that made his blood flow a little hotter.

  Damn, better watch that. He hadn’t brought her home to hit on her. He’d brought her home for Ian.

  And if Ian doesn’t see the light, all bets are off.

  “It’s a place to sleep. I don’t really spend a lot of time there.”

  He held out her drink. “Where do you spend most of your time?”

  Their fingers barely brushed as she took the glass from his hand. Didn’t matter. He still felt desire spark along his nerves.

  Maybe they could share her.

  The thought didn’t shock Ben as much as it might have a year ago. Not since they’d been working with Adam and Tristan. Their relationship with their partner, Katrina, worked. Their office manager, Mary Alice, also had an unconventional relationship with Max Burdanov and Jesse Kanatawa.

  So what would Ian think if Ben suggested they share her? Would Ian even consider it?

  Better not get your hopes up. Probably won’t ever happen.

  Her gaze dropped away from his to look at her drink, as if she’d been able to read his mind. Or at least correctly guess that he was thinking about sex. She’d probably never consider the threesome a viable option.

  Too bad.

  “At my office,” she finally responded. “I’m growing my practice and it’s not easy to do that on your own.”

  Waving her toward the huge sectional couch in front of the equally huge television, he waited until she sank into one of the sections before sitting next to her. Just not too close. Probably a good idea to keep a few feet between them.

  Which probably wouldn’t matter a damn bit because he still had a hard-on that wouldn’t quit.

  “So why aren’t you working at some fancy office with twenty other doctors?”

  She blinked, the only outward sign that he’d hit a nerve. Then her back stiffened as if she were about to defend
herself.

  “I’ve never been much of a team player. I work better on my own.”

  Now why didn’t that ring true?

  Still, he didn’t press her. Everyone was entitled to their secrets. He had his. Ian had a shit-ton, which, apparently, included this woman.

  “What about you?” She turned the tables. “Do you enjoy working with Ian?”

  Laughing, he saluted her with his glass of rum and Coke. “I guess ‘enjoy’ is one possible word I could use. You know him. Is that a word you’d use to describe working with Ian?”

  A blush colored her cheeks bright red. “I don’t really know him that well.”

  “Then why did he send me to watch your back tonight?”

  The stunned expression on her face told him more about her feelings for Ian than he would’ve thought possible. Up until now, she’d been able to hide behind that impassive mask. But now…

  “I honestly have no idea. Shouldn’t you be able to tell me?”

  “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have a clue.”

  Which was both true and false. He had no idea why Ian had sent Ben to her tonight, but he knew Ian had feelings for her. And Ben was banking on that to make his evolving plan work.

  She arched a brow at him, making his smile grow. “Then I guess we’re both in the dark.”

  “So how do you know Ian?”

  Her gaze skittered away again, though she covered it by waving her empty glass in his direction.

  “I seem to be empty.”

  With a nod, he stood and headed back to the bar, returning with the bottle. After he’d refilled her glass, he set the bottle on the table in front of her.

  “So…how did you meet Ian?”

  She drained half of her glass before answering. “At a hospital fund-raiser. I was mingling. He was… Well, I guess he was working. I don’t really know. We talked.” She shrugged. “I may have made an assumption about his interest that proved untrue. And that’s all there is to the story.”

  Ben was pretty sure there was so much more to the story, but he didn’t push her. He was good at ferreting out information people didn’t want to be discovered. He just needed to be patient.

  “So what were you doing at the hotel tonight?” He veered away from that line of conversation, planning to return to it when the alcohol had loosened her tongue some more.