An Indecent Longing

by Stephanie Julian

  And that was why she needed to get out of bed now and get moving.

  With an awkward lunge forward, she pressed her lips against his for a few hot seconds before she rolled away. Luckily, Ian’s shirt covered her to about mid-thigh so her ass wasn’t hanging out as she made her getaway back down to Ian’s room, where she’d last seen her bag.

  She needed to get dressed and get something to eat before her game. And she needed to text her sister. She needed to tell someone about her night, and she only had one person she wanted to tell.

  She just didn’t know what to tell Risa that wouldn’t have her sister breaking land-speed records to get to her.

  She considered her options as she headed for the kitchen.

  “You hungry? Want some coffee?”

  Ian sat at a small table in the window looking out over the backyard, the Philadelphia Inquirer spread out in front of him. But he wasn’t looking at the paper. He was watching her.

  She stopped in the doorway, trying to get a handle on his mood.

  Was he pissed? Was he upset? He had to know she’d just come from bed with Ben. They hadn’t exactly been quiet. Had she been wrong to think—

  “Dorrie.”

  She shook her head. “I never know how to read you.”

  He continued to watch her with a steady gaze. “You don’t have to. If we’re going to do this, we’re going to have to go all in. No boundaries, no guilt, no embarrassment. No walls. No lies.”

  A rush of heat swept through her and it suddenly got very hard to breathe. She had secrets she had to keep for her safety and the safety of those she loved. For Ben and Ian’s safety.

  She didn’t want to lie to these men but she’d have to if she wanted to have them in her life. “So…are we going to do this?”

  He didn’t answer for several seconds but he didn’t look away. “I’m in…if you’re sure this is what you want.”

  She hadn’t expected him to be so forthcoming, and her tongue felt tied in knots. Yes, she wanted this. At least, she wanted to try.

  “I’m sure.”

  When he nodded, she released the breath she’d been holding.

  “Then my question still stands. What do you want to eat?”

  When he rose, she let her gaze follow his every movement. She was beginning to suspect she might have developed a bit of a fetish when it came to watching Ian and now Ben. They fascinated her, so much strength in such leanly muscled bodies.

  Stopping directly in front of her, he reached out, running one finger down her cheek and sending shivers through her body. His hazel gaze held hers captive and her lips parted so she could draw in air.

  Kiss me.

  She wanted him to read her mind, wanted him to lean down and—

  He sealed his mouth over hers and kissed her hard, letting his lips crush hers. His fingers wove through her hair, cupping her head and holding her steady so he could devour her. She grabbed for his waist to keep herself upright, not sure she wouldn’t sway if he released her.

  Her brain ceased to function except to interpret her pleasure from his kiss, and when he pulled away abruptly, she made a sharp, embarrassing sound that made her blush.

  And when his lips curved in a genuine smile that actually reached his eyes, desire flooded her with a rush.

  How the hell was she going to deal with these feelings all the time if they kept seeing each other? It had to get easier with time, right? She’d figure out how to deal with it because the alternative wasn’t an option. She wanted this, wanted them. And she’d figure out a way to keep them for as long as she could.

  “Now,” he said. “Breakfast.”

  *

  Ian had every intention of following his own advice to Dorrie, but the no-walls thing was going to be a problem.

  He’d lived with his walls for so long, he wasn’t sure he could let anyone behind them, much less let them fall.

  So as he drove Dorrie and Ben to Fairmount Park for her soccer game, he didn’t contribute much to the conversation. He let Ben do all the talking. His cousin was good at it: never let the silence get too long, never seemed to flounder for a topic.

  Left to his own devices, Ian would sooner cut out his tongue than make small talk for hours on end. Of course, he and Dorrie had never seemed to have trouble finding things to talk about. Until he’d discovered her affiliation with Antonoff.

  Thinking about that felt like he had something caught in his teeth that he couldn’t get out. But he wanted her too much to let it stop him. Eventually, he figured that would come back to bite him in the ass. Eventually, they’d have to discuss it. Especially if this affair lasted longer than a few weeks.

  Do you want it to?

  Another question he didn’t want to answer because it required too much thought.

  Now he needed something else to focus his energies on, and that would be figuring out who’d tried to snatch Dorrie last night.

  Ben was always right about this kind of stuff. The attempt to take her hadn’t been random. That didn’t add up, especially not with her underworld connections.

  And if it did have something to do with Antonoff…

  Well, that would require a visit that probably wouldn’t end well…for anyone.

  Once he’d parked in the lot Dorrie had directed him to, he got out of the car and checked the surrounding area, just as he would for any other job.

  At least three playing fields spread out on the grounds of the park, all of them in use.

  Why the hell would anyone get up this early on a Sunday to play soccer? Didn’t they know Sunday mornings were meant for lying around reading the paper and drinking coffee, not running around chasing a ball?

  Then again, he’d never played organized sports. Had never seen the appeal. When he’d joined the Army, he’d had a team but even then he’d still been a loner, which had served him well in his chosen specialty.

  As soon as she got out of the car, Dorrie pointed to one of the fields, swinging her bag over her shoulder, her eyes bright and an actual grin on her face. “I’ll be over there. Gotta go. Late. See ya.”

  And she ran off. She’d pulled her hair back in a ponytail that swung as she ran. He had a brief flash of him wrapping his hand around her hair and pulling her head back to kiss her as he took her from behind while she rode Ben.

  Holy shit. He needed to keep that under control or he’d embarrass the hell out of himself. And her.

  “Guess we’re gonna need to get folding chairs. Didn’t think of that last night.”

  Ian turned to Ben with a frown, not sure what his cousin was talking about because he couldn’t get the thought of Dorrie naked and between them out of his brain. “What?”

  Ben’s smirk made Ian roll his eyes.

  “I said, we should get chairs, you know, like those.” He pointed to a couple walking by with long bags hanging from their shoulders. “So we can sit and watch the game.”

  “I don’t sit well.”

  Ben rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know that. But I don’t want to stick out in this crowd. And you do. Like a little black rain cloud on a sunny day.”

  Ian’s face screwed up in a WTF expression and Ben started to laugh.

  “Exactly,” Ben said. “Come on, let’s at least get closer to the field so we can see her play.”

  “I think I’m gonna stay back here, watch your backs.”

  Ben’s brows rose. “You really think someone would be stupid enough to make a play for her here?”

  “Probably not. But you can never be too careful. And maybe we’ll get lucky and I spot someone paying too much attention to her.”

  “Yeah, okay. Let me know if you notice anything. I’ll keep an eye out up there.”

  “Hey. Tell her to have a good game.”

  Ben saluted him with a sardonic smile before he headed toward the field, leaving Ian to prop himself against the hood of his car.

  He had the art of looking innocuous down to a science. A former teammate had once called it Ian’s superpow
er. He could live with that.

  After giving the area an initial sweep, he let himself watch Dorrie play for a few minutes.

  She hadn’t been kidding when she’d said she was late. No sooner had she dropped her bag than she ran out onto the field to take kickoff.

  Ian could take or leave soccer. If he had a preference, it’d be for ice hockey. The game moved and it was physical. Soccer was a close second. He’d never played except in high school gym class, but he understood the general concept. Get the ball in the goal and knock down anyone in your path to get there.

  Dorrie was really good at the knocking down part. The players were all women and they had no qualms about getting physical. He had no idea what he’d been expecting but it hadn’t been this. These women meant business.

  He knew the game was supposed to be low-contact but he didn’t think these women played by those rules. Yes, there were referees on the field but there weren’t many whistles blown and there seemed to be a lot of bumping and shoving and people falling on the ground.

  The teams didn’t have a lot of extra players and Dorrie stayed on the field for most of the game. And if he had to guess, she was probably one of the better players. She ran with a fleet grace he hadn’t expected. And she knocked several players on their asses as she made her way to the net time after time. She didn’t score every time but she made two of her team’s three goals in the first half.

  He found himself cheering and wincing along with the rest of the crowd, his attention centered on Dorrie. She played with intense focus, her concentration absolute. If the ball was in play, nothing else mattered. And when she scored or someone else on her team did, her smile dazzled.

  He’d noticed how she sometimes seemed uncomfortable in social settings, not shy but quiet. Not so here. On the field, she had no qualms about anything.

  He was so intent on watching her that he almost missed the guy sitting in his car watching the game a few cars down.

  Now, the guy could be there watching his girlfriend or his sister or his wife. Hell, maybe he was just some guy who liked to watch women play soccer.

  But he never got out of his car. And he occasionally cased the area. Just like Ian was doing.

  And as he looked closer, Ian could’ve sworn the guy looked familiar.

  Since Ian didn’t want to tip off the guy that he was being watched, Ian decided to move closer to the field.

  Ben had claimed a spot behind the row of chairs off the sideline, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking like just another guy rooting for his girlfriend at the game. Except Ben was right. They needed chairs to blend in.

  “Hey. Guy in the black sedan seems awfully interested in the game.”

  Ben was smart enough not to turn and look. “Suspicious?”

  “Can’t be sure but he looks familiar. Maybe you want to take a walk back to the car and check him out.”

  Ben nodded. “Sure. I’ll do it in a sec. You watch the game at all?”

  Ian knew where Ben was going with that and nodded as they exchanged a look. “She’s a beast.”

  Ben chuckled, and Dorrie looked over at that second, as if she’d heard him. She couldn’t have. Ian had barely heard him. But then she smiled at them and Ian’s heart actually did a little flip.

  Fuck, he was totally falling for her.

  “Did you see her knock that Amazon on her ass before she scored that second goal?” Ben’s smile widened. “Holy hell, we better not piss her off. She’ll mangle us.”

  Us.

  Ben’s casual use of that word sounded so normal. Like it wasn’t weird that they’d both had sex with her last night. Together and separately.

  “You have that look on your face.”

  Ben’s singsong tone made Ian want to punch him. He made sure no one but Ben could hear him when he said, “Fuck. You.”

  Ben started to laugh, loud enough that Dorrie could hear it. She said something to her teammates then jogged over to them. Ian caught several of her teammates staring at them with wide eyes then whisper back and forth and smile. And these weren’t teenage girls. A few were in their young twenties but the rest looked to be in their early thirties and forties. Smiling and shaking their heads and eyeing up Ian and Ben like they were sides of beef.

  Then Dorrie stood in front of them.

  “Great game,” Ben said before she could even speak. “But I don’t remember there being this much violence in soccer. You ladies are no ladies.”

  She shrugged but her smile was the most natural expression Ian had ever seen on her face. “Guys just aren’t used to seeing women play a game like they do. I think it makes them nervous.”

  “Ian and I were just discussing how we’re not going to make you angry. You’ll beat us up.”

  Her cheeks definitely grew a little redder. “Only if you want me to.”

  Ben laughed again and a few more women turned to look at him. And maybe one or two of the guys. “Oh honey, you can do whatever you want to me. I’ll like it.”

  Her gaze flashed to Ian and her smile dimmed a little. Damn it, that’s not how he wanted her to respond. But he really didn’t know how to do this banter shit either.

  “Are you enjoying the game, Ian?”

  He nodded and answered truthfully. “I enjoy watching you play.”

  Apparently, he could do some things right because her smile returned to full wattage.

  “Good.”

  She held his gaze for another few seconds, until he seriously had to consider adjusting himself. Then she blinked and took a step back.

  “I’ve got to get back. We’re going to start again.”

  With a little wave, she headed back for the team and Ian had to stick his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts to make sure his hardening cock didn’t embarrass him. Or her.

  Because now more of the women were staring at them. A few of the women had closed ranks around her when she’d returned, and now there were a lot more smiles and a few raised eyebrows.

  He couldn’t imagine that she was telling those women she’d slept with both of them because he was pretty sure at least a few of them would raise their perfect eyebrows in dumbfounded astonishment.

  As it was, Dorrie looked a little flustered by all the attention but she didn’t run screaming with her hands over her ears so he figured she had it handled.

  Not long after that, the teams headed back for the second half of the game and Ben leaned close enough that Ian could hear him when he said, “Heading back to the car for a sec.”

  Leaving Ian with a few uninterrupted minutes of watching Dorrie play.

  This close, he could see the fierce determination on her face and the almost feral smile she made when she scored again after being taken out by a questionable sliding tackle.

  He was still shaking his head when Ben returned.

  “He’s definitely got his eye on this game,” Ben said, “so I’m gonna say, yeah, we need to keep an eye on him.”

  “Did he look familiar to you, too?”

  “Yeah, a little. But I can’t place him. We need Dorrie to take a look.”

  Even though he knew that’s exactly what they needed to do, Ian didn’t like that option. And since Dorrie wasn’t around, he told Ben that.

  Which made Ben shake his head. “You can’t treat her like a client. You can’t order her to do something and expect her not to be pissed off at you.”

  “I’m not ordering her to do anything.” Although he might want to. “I’m just trying to keep her safe.”

  “Yeah, well, your perception of safe might not align with hers. Ooh, that’s gotta hurt.”

  Out on the field, Dorrie went down in a tangle of legs and arms with another woman and Ian was pretty sure he saw blood running down her leg. But Dorrie didn’t even stop to check, just got up and headed down the field in pursuit of the ball.

  “Damn.” Ben shook his head. “I think she might be tougher than both of us.”

  Ian had to agree. She definitely had blood on her leg and she prob
ably had a bruise on her side from the elbow of the woman next to her as they battled for the ball.

  They watched the rest of the game in silence, Ian keeping a surreptitious eye on the guy in the car. He remained inside but he didn’t leave, which agitated Ian more than if the guy would’ve gotten out and approached her.

  It pissed him off that she could be in danger. Infuriated him that it was probably because of Antonoff. The bastard ruined lives and was never made to pay for it.

  Minutes later, Dorrie had packed up her gear and made her way back to them.

  “You ready to head out?” Ian asked as she walked over to them, shaking her head at something one of the other players had said before she’d left.

  He hadn’t heard exactly what she’d said, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with him and Ben because Dorrie’s cheeks were pink. But that could’ve been from the game or the sunny day.

  “Sure. You can just drop me off at home. I need to get a shower and check on Blank and I’ve got some other work I need to do.”

  Ian almost said no. The word was on the tip of his tongue but luckily Ben stepped in before he made a complete mess of things.

  “Sure, not a problem.”

  Nodding, she walked beside Ben, though she checked over her shoulder to make sure Ian followed along. They were nearly to Ian’s car when she froze as the man who’d been watching from the parking lot got out of his car and approached.

  Ian’s back went up and he stepped to Dorrie’s side as Ben stood in front of her.

  “Miss Haverstick. Can I speak to you for a minute?”

  Ben shook his head. “Not sure she wants to speak—”

  “Yes, of course.” She put one hand on Ben’s arm and the other on Ian’s, halting them both. “I’ll only be a minute.”

  “Dorrie.” Ian felt like his jaw was going to snap, it was so tight.

  She turned to look at him. “Ian.”

  Sonuvabitch. He wanted to tell her no, absolutely not. He wasn’t going to leave her alone with this guy. Because now he knew exactly who this man worked for and Ian wanted to punch the guy in his expressionless face.