Love Runs Deep

by Gail Chianese

  Kyle stood with his hand on the doorknob and looked over at the woman. “You would have to ask her. I haven’t seen much of her since I transferred to NSSF, but then you know that already. I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at, Lieutenant Cruz, but the simple truth is, nothing is going to change the fact that your client is as guilty as sin. Chalk this one up as a loss on your record and move on.”

  She came around her desk and got in his face. Arms crossed, nostrils flared. Good, she was mad. He could guarantee not nearly as pissed as he was.

  “Like it or not, I have to defend Petty Officer Stone. It’s my job. That doesn’t mean I condone what he did or that I don’t feel for Riley. It doesn’t mean that I’m not sickened by the thought or repulsed by the fact that I have to sit in a room with him and listen to him spew his indignant bullshit. Just telling you this could get me in trouble.”

  “So why are you?”

  “Maybe I want her to know she’s not alone.”

  Later, the interview played out again and again in Kyle’s head as he made his way to the bowling alley where he’d agreed to meet Mace for lunch. Something didn’t feel right about the attorney’s questions, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what.

  He swung in through the double doors and waved to Felix manning the rental desk to the left of him. The crack of balls hitting pins, followed by excited squeals made Kyle smile. It’d been a while since he and his friends had hit the lanes. Now that they were going to be back in port for a while, maybe he’d arrange for a lunchtime game, get Nic up and test out her skill in the alley. But today he had a different purpose—food and support—so he followed his nose, tracking the wonderful aroma of salt and fried foods.

  Mace sat at a table in the back with a couple of baskets and two bottles of water in front of him. His shoulders were slumped forward and there were dark circles under his eyes and deep grooves lining his forehead.

  Man, he’d aged a good ten years over the last couple of weeks..

  Kyle nodded toward the food. “Eating for two, I see.”

  “You know I should say screw you and eat it all just because you’re such a smart ass. You’re late. I got tired of waiting so I ordered for both of us before I chewed someone’s arm off. So shut up and eat before I change my mind.”

  Kyle hopped onto the stool and lifted the bun off his burger. “Aw, Mom you remembered mustard, hold the ketchup. You do love me.”

  “Fuck you, Hutch.” The insult was followed by a laugh.

  Neither talked while they devoured every bite, every fry and the pickles too.

  Satisfied, Kyle took a really good look at his friend. He’d known Mace for most of his career and he’d never seen the guy so down. Together they had drunk more beer, ate more pizza, and charmed more ladies than he could count. Good times. Shooting pool, hanging out on beaches, traveling the world, and standing by each other’s sides right up to when Mace had fallen head over ass in love with Amber. Kyle had been his best man. Since the wedding, they didn’t spend as much time after work together, but that was expected and he didn’t begrudge his buddy for wanting to get home to his bride. The two were crazy about each other.

  How in the hell had that all gone to shit?

  “So, congratulations?” Kyle held up the glass in salute.

  “Maybe.” Mace blew out a sigh. Hung his head and then looked back up, eyes glossy. “What the hell am I saying? Yeah, of course, it’s mine. Got to be.”

  “Why would you think otherwise?”

  “I guess it’s the timing. She’s about four months along. That means it happened right in the middle of everything exploding at home. We weren’t exactly taking advantage of the marital bed. Hell, half the time I was sleeping on the couch. So how’d I get her pregnant?”

  If this weren’t Mace with his marriage on the line, Kyle would have come back with a sarcastic response. As much as he didn’t want to talk feelings and marriage and crap, he couldn’t abandon his friend in need.

  “What does Amber say?” Kyle asked.

  “Guess there was a night where alcohol was involved. A lot of alcohol.”

  Now he did laugh. “Sorry. That would make sense. You are kind of a lightweight, man. So she got you drunk, took advantage of you and now you’re going to be a dad? Mazel tov! You’ve always wanted kids and you’ll make a great dad.”

  Mace tossed his empty food basket on top of Kyle’s and sat back. “You’re forgetting one important factor. She left me. I’m here in Connecticut and she’s at her parents—who hate me—in Wisconsin. I either leave the Navy or I get to be an absentee dad. You know sometimes I think Bryant is the smart one in this group.”

  Kyle choked on his water. “Did you hit your head on the plane ride home? Bryant smart? How do you figure?”

  “He doesn’t get involved. He’s always got a lady, but they all know the score from the start, it’s just for fun, don’t expect any bended knee proposals, no rings or bells or promises of forever. Somehow, they’re all okay with it too. You ever see that guy stressing over a woman?”

  “I’m pretty sure the dude doesn’t have a heart to give away.”

  “Still, I’m telling you. Take a page from his playbook. Whatever this thing is with Nic, stop it now before you lose your heart and end up hurt.”

  Yeah, Kyle thought, it might be too late for that.

  * * *

  Nic wiped down the elliptical and tossed the towel in her bag. She must have spent more time on the devil’s torture device than she’d thought because half way up the stairs to the locker room she had to sit and catch her breath.

  You’re stalling, the little voice in her head said.

  “Remember what the counselor advised,” Nic said out loud.

  With that she pulled up on the banister and sprinted the last few steps. Well, maybe sprinted wasn’t the right word, but at least she didn’t crawl on her hands and knees, which is what she had felt like doing. Before pushing open the locker room door she strolled over to the set of double doors that led to the long corridor that housed among other things, the entrance the men’s locker room. A quick peek assured her no one else was around, at least that she could tell. She’d also been watching the stairs while working out. No one had gone up them to change in over an hour.

  Still, when she entered the women’s locker room she did a thorough inspection checking for any gaps, cracks or hiding places. Once she was convinced there was no way in this world a sequel could be made, she headed toward her locker. Lifting the edges of her T-shirt, she hesitated and looked around.

  Was that the door creaking open?

  Cripes. Here I go again. Deep breath out. Just go look. You’ll feel better.

  Nope, no one there. Back at the locker she lifted her shirt and tossed it on the bench next to her, then pulled her sports bra off and let it drop onto the pile. Black spots danced before her eyes. A click from the far side of the room had her spinning around. Falling back against the cold metal, she groped into her duffle until her hand landed on the soft cotton of her towel and she could wrap it around her.

  There’s no one here. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please, just stop.

  Her breath came too fast, too shallow, and the room started to rotate. She had to get out of there. Air, she needed air. Using her hand to guide her, she stumbled around the line of lockers and yanked open the door. The force of the door flinging backward thrust her forward. Strong arms kept her from face planting. There was something oddly familiar about the striking hazel eyes staring down at her.

  “I’m okay,” Nic murmured from between her legs, the floor inches from her face. Warm hands ran circles over her back and a soothing voice kept telling her to breathe and she’d be okay.

  “Slowly sit up. Take your time and if the room starts to spin or go dark, put your head back down.”

  Nic looked around and then at the two men standing beside her.

  “You kind of passed o
ut,” the man with the hazel eyes said.

  “I’m going to get someone up here to check her out, Jax.” The other guy took a step and Nic’s hand shot out and grabbed his leg.

  “No.” She waited a beat for her heart to settle and her voice not to squeak again. “Please don’t. I’m okay.”

  The two men looked at each other and then back to her. The one called Jax took the lead. “Why don’t you tell us what happened and then we’ll determine if we need to call anyone else in.”

  Nic bent her head to wipe the sweat from her brow and that’s when she realized she was sitting on the floor outside the locker room, on the edge of the indoor running track in yoga pants and a towel. Thank goodness it was summer time and the gym was mostly empty.

  “Here, drink this.” Jax handed over his water bottle. “We’re not going anywhere until you explain what happened. It’s our job.”

  “It’s stupid. I had a panic attack. Thought someone was in there with me or filming.”

  “Ah.” Jax’s face lit up. “I didn’t recognize you out of uniform.”

  Nic shrunk down into herself as she pulled the towel tighter. “Excuse me?”

  “Chief Jackson Faraday, ma’am. We met on the California the day you pulled back into port. Miner checked the locker room and it’s clear, ma’am. If you want we can get one of the female employees to escort you back in and stay with you while you get dressed.”

  “No.” Shaking her head, she pushed up against the wall to stand. “Thank you both. I’ll just grab my stuff and go.”

  “I can stand guard if you want, ma’am,” Jackson offered.

  Both men looked at her like she was a frail kitten to be handled with kid gloves. Given their size, she didn’t know how well they’d do with the whole ‘handle with care’ thing, but she didn’t doubt their ability to scare off the bogeyman. And she did appreciate the offer, but they’d already come to her rescue and delayed their own workouts on her behalf. She’d just go pull on her shirt, grab her stuff and go. Once she got back to her room she could take a shower in private.

  “Actually, if you guys could keep this to yourselves, I’d really appreciate it.”

  Both men nodded and Nic thanked them again as she pushed open the door to the locker room and stepped inside. The thunk of the door as it shut behind her gave her a little start. This time she didn’t look around; instead she stalked to her locker with the intent to grab her gear and bolt. But as she reached for her clothes her hand stayed.

  If she kept running, she would never learn to stand her ground. Over and over she batted the counselor’s advice around: don’t push herself, take baby steps, trust her gut. She was tired of baby steps. She just wanted her life back. Wanted to use a public locker room, walk into the galley and not feel all eyes on her, not wonder what every person she met thought of her.

  “Enough.” She ripped the towel off and stepped out of her shoes and pants.

  Five minutes later she was showered, dressed and heading out the door. She had done it.

  Woot!

  Granted it was the least relaxing shower of her life, and all the stress she’d had pre-workout was back. More of a baby step, but she’d taken it. She was clean, her hair was washed, and she didn’t freak out. She might have showered and dressed at the speed of sound, but she didn’t smell, so it still counted.

  Maybe next time she could get in the shower without the freak out happening at all, then the time after that she could focus on taking a little more time.

  Today, right then and there…she’d won the battle. Maybe not the war, but definitely the battle.

  Stepping out of the room she felt light, almost giddy, a little like her old self and decided she deserved a reward. Maybe dinner out, followed by a trip to the mall for a new outfit or a mani/pedi. As she was making her plans, movement at the far end of the track caught her attention and she leaned against the wall, thankfully not for support this time.

  The man slowed as he approached her.

  “Chief Faraday, it’s a gorgeous day out and yet you chose the indoor track. Kind of odd,” she said.

  “No odder than those down on the treadmills.” He nodded to the people one level down. He didn’t fool her for a minute. “You’re looking better. Color’s back.”

  “You didn’t have to stand guard, but thank you.”

  “We’re not all like him, ma’am. We’re brothers and sisters in arms. We watch each others’ sixes.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I feel like your dirty secret.” Kyle wedged himself between Nic’s legs as he reached behind her into the open cupboard for something.

  “What do you mean?” Nic lowered the cold beer bottle she’d been about to take a sip from and looked into his eyes.

  Kyle dipped his head and scents of citrus, jasmine and something she couldn’t name but that smelled wholly male filled the air around her. He flicked her ear with the tip of his tongue before biting down with just enough pressure to make her catch her breath. As quick as the foreplay had started, it had stopped and he turned back to the stove.

  “I’m like your boy toy.” The smile playing at his lips as he turned back to face her relaxed her nerves and sent them into a happy dance all at the same time.

  Thank goodness he’d been joking. The last couple of weeks she’d had enough on her plate and the last thing she needed was to find out Kyle was in secret a high maintenance mistress. Or is that mastress? Paramour? She’d just stick to lover.

  “Are you complaining?” She teased the front of his already hard male form with the tips of her toes and wondered if they’d make it through dinner before giving into the chemistry that sent most of their meals to the microwave.

  “About the sex? Never.”

  “So what’s the problem?” She dropped her foot and hopped down off the kitchen counter. She liked Kyle, a lot and didn’t want to screw things up for them. They already had enough going against them.

  “No problem.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed the tip of her nose. “Occasionally, we Neanderthals actually like to take our women out. You know, show them off to the other Neanderthals, prove our manhood, do something fun, even romantic once in a while.”

  She laughed. Something she did frequently in his company, among other things.

  “I appreciate the fact that you’ve jeopardized your man card for me and as much as I’d love to let you take me out and parade me in front of the world, until this case closes I don’t think it’s a good idea. As it is, my mom called me today. She’s had reporters hounding her for an interview, which she won’t give, of course. I don’t want to do anything that might bring more attention to me or cause my family any more embarrassment.”

  He gave her a quick hug and released her to dish up their dinner. With both plates full he led her to the couch where they tended to eat most of their meals. She curled up on one end, feet tucked under her and took the plate he offered while he sat at the opposite end. Princess had already claimed the middle cushion and neither had the heart—or was that courage—to disturb her.

  “How is your family taking all of this?” he asked.

  “About how you’d expect. Standing by me. My parents are quiet on the public front, refusing to answer any questions, as expected. With me they check in pretty much daily to see how I am. My brothers? They want to kick Stone’s butt along with everyone else involved.”

  “Can’t say I blame them. From what I hear it should be over soon. I’ve heard the investigators and attorneys have talked to everyone involved at this point. Now it’s just a matter of getting on the calendar.”

  She pushed her food around on her plate, thinking about his words. One problem almost down and a new one to face. “How soon after the trial do you think the California will be scheduled for deployment?”

  “Hard to say. Depends on the rotation of the other boats, who’s already left, what’s their mission. Stuff like that.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear
that had escaped from her braid and ran his fingers down her cheek, gently lifting her face so her eyes looked into his. “Hey, I know what you’re thinking and we’ll deal with that bridge when we get to it.”

  “I’m not sure what you think I was thinking, but I was wondering if I should start looking for an apartment or stay in the BOQ.” Not for one minute would she admit it had struck her that she was going to miss him or how much or that seeing him with another woman when she pulled back into port would be like having a hot poker shoved through her heart.

  “Oh, yeah. Stay in the BOQ. Less hassle, and then you can pack up and leave without having to worry about loose ends.” He swapped the plate for the beer he’d sat on the coffee table. His throat undulated with every swallow and suddenly she didn’t want to talk about family or leaving. She didn’t want to talk at all.

  Sadly, Kyle’s earlier comments about feeling used came back to haunt her conscience. Instead of attacking him and ravishing his body like she wanted, she asked him about his week. Not nearly as fun, but she wanted him to know that she thought of him as more than sex on a stick.

  “You know how it is. Same bullshit, different day.”

  Normally Kyle was an open book, but given the fact that Stone was one of his guys he could be getting some backlash over the ordeal. “Well I have some good news. Sort of.”

  She told him about the panic attack she’d had last week at the gym, complete with the Master-at-Arms Chief coming to her rescue and forcing herself to walk back in and face her fears. “Every day since then, I’ve been going to the gym and making myself use the shower there. I’d like to say that was the last panic attack, but two days ago I had a major setback.”

  She grabbed their empty plates and headed into the kitchen where she quickly washed them and grabbed a glass of water to steal a few minutes to pull it together. Just thinking about the attack on Wednesday closed the air off to her lungs and sent pretty little dark spots dancing before her eyes.

  Scooping up Princess cat, Nic sat down next to Kyle where she felt safe.