My Heart to Keep: A Maxwell Family Saga - Book Four

by Alexander, S. B.

  Mom always said, “Sometimes no words are needed. You have to just listen and be there for a person.”

  I helped Quinn to a chair next to her mom. I needed to sit, or else my legs would give out. Quinn’s pain was my pain. Quinn’s sorrow was mine too. Everything she was feeling, I could feel as strongly as her. Dad’s death was front and center, and the memories of that awful day were suddenly wreaking havoc on my psyche.

  Trevor slid over to the chair next to mine. “Hey, man. I’m Trevor.”

  “Maiken. Thanks for taking care of Quinn.”

  “Anytime,” he said. “She’s a great girl.” He was smitten with Quinn. I could hear it in his voice and see it written all over his face.

  She’s all mine. So don’t get any ideas. “The best.”

  Silence filled the ten-by-ten room, which had stark white walls, two posters of medical information, and a TV hanging from the ceiling in the corner, which was as dead as the eerie quietness.

  “The doctor should be in anytime,” Mrs. Thompson said. “What’s taking so long? Surgery should’ve been done by now.”

  I wasn’t knowledgeable on how long open-heart surgery took, but it had to be hours.

  Just then, a short man in scrubs came in, taking off his cap. His expression was blank.

  Mrs. Thompson and Quinn jumped up at the same time.

  “Dr. Fleming,” Mrs. Thompson rushed out. “Is my husband okay?”

  Quinn held her mom’s hand. Both of them were tense and breathing heavily.

  I said a silent prayer.

  “Your husband is out of surgery. Initially when we spoke, I thought he had two blocked arteries, but we found a third. We had to do a triple bypass. He’s in ICU. He should be awake shortly.”

  “So he’s going to be okay?” Quinn’s voice cracked.

  Dr. Fleming gave her a warm smile. “We’ll see how he does within the next twenty-four hours.”

  Of course doctors couldn’t or wouldn’t say for sure if a patient would be okay.

  “When can we see him?” Mrs. Thompson asked.

  “I’ll have a nurse come to get you in about an hour. Your husband was very lucky to have someone who knew CPR.”

  Quinn looked over her shoulder at Trevor and smiled through an ocean of tears. “Trevor saved him.”

  Dr. Fleming nodded his head of dark hair at Trevor. “Well done, son.” Then he left.

  Quinn returned but not to sit next to me. She commandeered the chair on the other side of Trevor and grabbed his hand. “I owe you so much.”

  He draped his arm around her. “I’m glad I was there.”

  My stomach felt like it dropped off a cliff. I didn’t know if the jealousy coursing through me was blinding me or if what I was truly witnessing was real. But I got the crazy impression that Quinn was falling for the dude.

  Darkness spilled in through the window in Daddy’s hospital room. He’d been in and out of consciousness with the pain meds he was on. Carter was sitting on the floor with his legs kicked out and his head resting against the wall. Momma was sitting in a chair butted up to Daddy’s bed. Liam hadn’t arrived yet. His flight was delayed.

  I’d chewed every one of my nails off since Daddy had been rushed to the hospital, and I’d shed enough tears to last a lifetime. My stomach had a boulder in it, and I still smelled like the pigpen. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t leaving until I could talk to Daddy and see him at least smile.

  I didn’t know what we were going to do with the farm.

  As if Carter were in my head, he said, “I’m going to head home and feed the animals.”

  We had no one to help us except Trevor. I had yet to ask him how he knew CPR, but it didn’t really matter. I was just thankful he’d been there. I’d been a deer in the headlights, and if it weren’t for him, Daddy would be dead.

  I popped up off the chair on the other side of Daddy’s bed. “Do you want me to go with?” I wanted to stay, but the farm was too much work for one person.

  Carter held up a hand. “Stay with Mom. I can handle it.”

  “Call Maiken and Trevor. I’ll give you their numbers. They can help.” Maiken had been a godsend in taking care of the horses that morning. I wasn’t sure if Trevor knew what to do since he’d barely started working at the farm.

  “Son,” Momma said, sounding like she was losing her voice. “Please put a sign up on the farm store window, letting our customers know we’ll be closed for a few days.”

  Carter kissed Momma on the head. “I will. I got this, Mom. Just take care of Dad.” Carter headed for the door.

  I sent a quick text to Carter with Maiken and Trevor’s numbers as I walked out with him. “What are we going to do? Daddy won’t be able to do anything for a long time.”

  The doctor had informed Momma that it would be a good six months before Daddy fully recovered, barring any complications. I couldn’t handle the farm by myself. I would certainly try, but Carter just might get his wish and have to take a break from college.

  He gave me a glum grin. “I’m not returning to college anytime soon. No worries.”

  “I’m sorry, Carter.”

  He hugged me. “Don’t be. It’s not the reason I wanted to ditch college, but you know how I felt about it. Let me get home. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ll check where Liam is too.” He started to leave.

  “Carter, we need to make sure Liam doesn’t drop out.” Liam had a scholarship and was just starting basketball season. We had to support him while Carter and I picked up the slack.

  “I know. We’ll talk.” Then he ambled down toward the elevators as though he didn’t want to leave either.

  Combing my hand through my knotted and dirty hair, I inched back into the room. I felt horrible that I wasn’t going with Carter. But my brother and the farm instantly vanished from my thoughts when Daddy’s eyes fluttered open.

  Momma flew out of her chair. “Jeff.”

  I ran to the other side of his bed. “Daddy?” My pulse sped up. My heart was beating so fast I knew it would push out of my chest. “Daddy?”

  Momma grasped his hand, and I took his other one.

  “Water.” His voice was low, cracked, and sounded as though he had been a smoker all his life.

  Momma obliged.

  I rubbed Daddy’s arm. Too many emotions were hitting me at once. He was alive. He was breathing. He was so lucky.

  I recited the Our Father prayer in my head as I gave him a warm, teary-eyed smile.

  Momma set the cup down on the table beside his bed. “You gave us quite the scare.” A river of tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’m so mad at you.”

  Momma had informed Carter and me earlier that she’d been pushing Daddy to make an appointment for a physical. He’d been light-headed recently, and she’d suspected it was his high blood pressure. He wasn’t religious about taking his daily medication. However, it turned out his cholesterol was quite high, hence the blockages in his arteries.

  His eyes fluttered shut briefly. “Hazel, darling. I love you, woman.”

  I couldn’t hold back any longer. I cried and laughed while so many emotions clawed their way out.

  Momma buried her face in the crook of Daddy’s neck, sobbing.

  “I promise I will listen to you from now on,” Daddy said. Then he turned his head toward me. “Pumpkin, are the animals okay?”

  I laughed harder as tears flowed freely. “Don’t worry about the animals. Carter is home. He’s taking care of them.”

  Relief washed over Daddy. The man was worried about his animals instead of himself. But that was Daddy. He’d grown up on a farm, and even though our animals put food on our table and paid the bills, he adored every cow, pig, horse, and chicken we had.

  Regardless, I was ready to scream at him. But that wouldn’t accomplish anything. He needed love and support.

  Momma straightened and blew her nose into a tissue.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy.” A tiny part of me felt like I’d been the cause of his heart attack. He hadn�
��t been the same since I’d gotten drunk. He’d been quieter and in some ways colder toward me. I knew I had to regain his trust. I knew he’d been disappointed at what I’d done. It also hadn’t helped that someone had taken the pigs for the senior prank. I blamed myself for that too. If I hadn’t had the party, then maybe some kid wouldn’t have conjured a stupid idea of bringing pigs to school.

  Momma’s eyebrows drew down as Daddy squeezed my hand. “This isn’t your fault.”

  “You’ve been upset since I threw that party,” I said. “Stressed to the max.”

  “Quinn,” Momma said.

  I swished saliva around in my mouth. “I know.” My shoulder twitched. “Daddy’s health isn’t great. But I can’t help but feel guilty for what I did.” I lifted Daddy’s hand up to my mouth and pecked the back. “I can’t lose you, Daddy.”

  I wasn’t sure I could go to college. Granted, college was a long way off, and Daddy should be back to normal by then, but after heart surgery, he couldn’t take care of the farm on his own. I would do whatever it took to make sure my dad stayed around to see me get married and have kids. He would be the best grandfather a kid could have.

  Quinn lay in my arms, her head on my chest, one leg entwined with mine. “I don’t want you to go.”

  I slipped my hand into the back pocket of her jeans, gazing up at the rafters in the barn that Ethan and I had turned into a makeshift gym. The space wasn’t anything like Quinn’s barns and certainly didn’t have animal dung lingering in the air.

  At the moment, I was inhaling Quinn’s lavender shampoo. “I don’t either. But I’ll be home in a few weeks for Christmas break.”

  She shuddered. “Maiken, where do you think we’ll be next year?”

  Every muscle in me seized. “What kind of question is that?” Since I’d seen her in the hospital with Trevor, I couldn’t shake the impression that she was into him. There was no question in my mind that he was infatuated with my girl. Anyone could see that by the way he’d been holding her—gentle, soft, and caring.

  Like hell is he getting his paws on her. I knew Quinn loved me. I knew I could trust her. Trevor, on the other hand? No fucking way. Quinn was extremely vulnerable at the moment.

  Her dad was still in the hospital and, barring any complications, would be home next week. Thank God he was doing well. According to the doctor, Mr. Thompson should make a full recovery, although he had a long road ahead.

  Quinn traced lazy circles on my abdomen, her head resting under my chin. “I know you’ll be a star basketball player at a big school, but I can’t go to college. I have to be here for my dad.” She snuggled deeper into me. “Anyway, do you think we’ll be together?”

  I couldn’t imagine a life without Quinn. Sure, we were about to embark on an adult life of college and new experiences, but I didn’t want to do any of that without her.

  “I am yours, babe. My heart is yours to keep. So no matter the distance between us, I will be there for you.” I thought we’d done a pretty good job at keeping our relationship strong while I’d been at the academy. “We’ve had great practice too. We’re doing great.” At least I thought we were. The separation was tough, and it probably wouldn’t get any easier, but Mom and Dad had made their relationship work with him always on a military mission.

  I remembered something Dad had said a time or two. “Being away from your mother and you kids only makes my love stronger. I’m working for you guys and a better life.”

  “College won’t be any different,” I added. “We just have to make a strong effort to see one another.”

  “Liam and Celia broke up when he left for college. They both wanted to see other people.” She sounded frightened.

  I threaded my fingers in her hair. “Do you want to play the field?” If she says yes, I will fucking die.

  She lifted her head, digging her chin into my chest and batting her big amber eyes at me. “Hell no. I want to make sure you don’t either.”

  I grabbed her waist. “Come here.”

  She crawled up until her body was flush with mine.

  “The only field I want to play is one with you in it. I’m serious, Quinn. You’re it for me. I couldn’t imagine anyone else making me laugh and cry, or holding my hand, my heart, and my soul. I would die if I didn’t get to kiss you ever again.”

  She blinked away a tear before crashing her mouth to mine, showing me her answer. Her tongue slipped in, tangling with mine.

  Nothing else mattered in that moment but her and me and the way she made me feel—whole, happy, elated, and feeling as if I were on top of the world.

  My hands roamed up and down her body, making her moan. Our kiss became wild, frantic, and passionate to the point that my body was on fire.

  She nibbled on my lip, slowing the kiss. “Remember that surprise I mentioned to you on the phone a couple of weeks ago?” She swallowed, her cheeks turning red. “I’m on the pill.”

  Whoa! I wasn’t expecting that, but my body reacted instantly—tingling, hard, and throbbing in one specific place.

  She giggled, pressing her hips into mine. “I’m ready. You are too.”

  No doubt. Still, my stomach was in knots as I took in a deep breath.

  She looked around. “We’re alone.” She lifted her eyebrows, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. “I think we should. Now is a perfect time.” She pressed her hands to my chest, sitting up and straddling me.

  We were in a dark corner of the barn, a small carved-out space where Ethan and I had set up a lounge of sorts with blankets and even an old chair Mom didn’t want in the house anymore.

  I was ready, yet I wasn’t. Although was there ever a right time? If two people loved each other and both were in agreement, then sex was a natural next step.

  “Your family is out shopping,” she said.

  The coast was clear. And we certainly didn’t have the threat of her dad finding us.

  She began to unbuckle my belt, watching me watch her.

  Once we lost our virginity, things would change between us. It could make our relationship stronger. Or she could find out I wasn’t any good in the sex department and dump me.

  Shut up, I shouted at the voice in my head.

  “Maiken.” Quinn’s silky voice made me blink. “We both want this. Right?”

  I lifted up to rest on my elbows, studying my gorgeous girlfriend, who suddenly had a sour expression. “More than anything. Fuck, I’ve been ready for like ever.”

  She giggled. “Well, I want you.”

  “Do you think it will change anything between us?”

  She was still holding her bottom lip hostage. “If anything, it will bring us closer.” She began to remove her sweater, showing milky-white skin.

  Suddenly, my brain shut down, and my body took over like I didn’t have any control over myself.

  In a matter of minutes or maybe seconds, my gorgeous girl was in nothing but her lacy bra and panties, sitting on me, and looking like a goddess with her hair spilling down around her.

  Holy hell!.

  My mouth went bone dry. My body heated, and my hands had a mind of their own, rubbing a path up her abs and slowly creeping higher.

  Her breathing became shallow, as did mine.

  We locked eyes, a deeper connection gluing us together, one that said she was my everything and I was hers. Nothing in the world could break the bond we had.

  I swore the door to my heart opened wider. I hadn’t thought I could love her any more than I already did, but in that moment, she was the most beautiful angel in my world.

  I pulled her down so our bodies were flush. Our lips joined, and the nerves coursing through me quieted as we got lost in us.

  Snow fell as I sat on the front porch step waiting for Celia to pick me up. She was late, and if she didn’t get there in the next five minutes, we were going to be late for our first class.

  I was about to call her when my phone rang. Maiken’s handsome face brightened my screen. I hit the answer button, and FaceTime conn
ected.

  He was standing in his dorm room with no shirt on. Our unexpected intimate rendezvous the previous day flashed before me. Actually, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I hadn’t been able to eat since either. Losing my virginity was tense yet freeing. Maiken had been gentle, soft, and just as nervous as I’d been.

  He grinned, his blue eyes gleaming. “Are you okay?” He’d asked me the same thing several times as we’d lain on the floor of his barn afterward.

  Momma had been right. The first time had hurt, but not as bad as I thought it would. Still, I had a deeper connection with him, a love so potent that I was ready to burst.

  I giggled. “More than okay. You?”

  “I feel…” He ran a hand through his wild hair. He looked as though he’d just gotten out of bed. “Like I’m walking on water. I want to see you, like, right now.”

  A cozy shiver blanketed me. “If I had a car, I would ditch school today and drive up to the academy.”

  “So no regrets?” He lost his smile, and trepidation took its place.

  I shook my head. “Absolutely not. You?” I held my breath.

  He leaned into the camera. “I want to do it a thousand more times with you.”

  Butterflies went wild in my stomach, and heat covered my body like a warm blanket on a snowy day. “Me too.”

  He chuckled. “I got to get ready for school. I love you, babe.”

  Headlights bounced down the driveway as Celia pulled in.

  “Celia’s here. Love you to the stars and back.” I blew him a kiss. “Talk later.” I ended the call before I jumped through the phone or decided to bribe Celia to drive up to the academy.

  I darted down the porch steps, when Momma came out of the house. “Quinn, please make sure you’re home right after school. You’re working at the farm store today.”

  “I know, Momma. Love you. Kiss Daddy for me.” I jogged the short distance to the car.

  “You guys be careful,” Momma called out. “The news just reported that roads are slick with black ice.”

  I hopped in. “Black ice?”

  “That’s why I’m late,” Celia said. “I was driving like a grandma.” The wipers cleared the droplets of snow from the windshield as Celia backed out.