by Rose, Ashley
“Come on, sweetheart. I’ll make it comfy for you.”
“No thanks,” Kiley insisted.
Carmondy was impressed. The girl was doing a good job of keeping him at bay.
“Why not? I’m all lonely down here.” He stretched out on his back, purposefully letting his shirt creep up and show his abs.
“I’m fine right here.”
“I know that you’re fine, but why don’t you come down here and be fine with me?”
“You’re not my type,” the girl said boldly, causing everyone to laugh.
“Lay off, Andy,” Kendall said. “She’s on the team. That makes her off limits.”
“You weren’t off limits last year,” he challenged.
“Biggest mistake of my life.”
“Aww, don’t be that way, baby. I’ll take you back for a one nighter. I know how lonely you must be.”
“Oh shut up, idiot.”
A little while later, the movie was over and it was late. All the pizzas had been cooked but only three had been eaten, leaving two uneaten ones in her fridge.
The girls said their goodnights and cleared out.
She turned back to her empty apartment with a smile. She really was starting to feel like she had friends, like she was part of a team.
* * *
The next morning, Carmondy skipped the turn off to the school and kept going. She waved at Anderson when she saw him outside his house, but kept driving until she reached Beck’s. He’d declined to come to her party last night, but she knew he still had some accounting work to get done and wanted to see if she could help him with it before they went to school.
An unfamiliar powder blue sports car was parked beside his BMW X5, and she assumed that it belonged to a girl. No self-respecting guy would drive a car like that.
As she got out of the Jeep and rounded the little car, the front door opened and a girl stepped out, attempting to smooth down her messed-up curls.
The girl noticed her and smirked. Her make-up was messed up and her clothes wrinkled. “You’re a little late, honey. I’ve taken care of him already.”
Carmondy cocked an eyebrow. Did she look like that after sex with Beck? She felt an odd feeling in her chest...jealousy? No, that couldn’t be it but she felt...hurt. Why had he called up some seemingly random girl? She had offered for him to come over but he had declined.
The girl made her way to her sports car and got in while Carmondy knocked on the front door. When there was no answer, she tried again, but there was still no answer. She tried the doorknob and found it unlocked so she stepped inside.
“Beck?” She heard some movements from the back so she went back to peer in his bedroom. He had music on. She caught a glimpse of his bare backside until he pulled a pair of boxers up, followed by jeans.
“Beck.”
He whipped around, his hair still damp from his shower. “Carmondy?”
“Yeah.”
He reached over and turned his stereo off. “What are you doing here?”
“I ran into your lady friend,” she said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder toward the front door. “She looked a little worse for the wear.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snapped.
“Nothing, just girls like her don’t look too hot without all their make-up in place.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Why, Beck?”
“Why what?”
“I offered for you to come over, but you chose her instead.”
Beck cocked his head. “You got a problem with that?”
“No I just...did I do something wrong last time?”
“I didn’t want to have sex with you, simple as that.”
It couldn’t be that simple. “Right, so she’s better than me in bed?”
“Are you jealous or something?”
“No, I just want to know so that I can...fix it.”
Beck sighed and grabbed a shirt out of his dresser but didn’t put it on. “I was in a bad mood last night. I wanted to fuck someone and you wouldn’t have liked it. She does.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
“She gets off on impersonal sex, and I knew I’d be able to let her hang around until morning for another round without her getting all...whatever.”
“So...you’re done with me now or what?”
Beck just shook his head. “You still haven’t grasped this casual sex thing yet, have you? It means that we can have sex with other people at the same time as we’re doing each other. That’s the whole point.”
“Oh...so you’re still attracted to me?”
“Is your body the same as it was yesterday?”
“Yes.”
“Well, there’s your answer.”
“If I recall correctly, you were attracted to much more than my body.”
He stepped forward. “Have you lost your interest in getting tied up and bossed around?”
She gulped. “No.”
“Lost those muscles that let you ride me till I pop?”
“No.”
“Do I need to go through the whole list?”
She shook her head. “Did she sleep in your bed?”
“What?”
“The girl, did she sleep in your bed?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Did she?”
“How should I know? After we fucked I passed out until this morning and then did her again. I don’t care where she slept.”
“Oh.”
“So then, what are you here for? Morning sex?” he asked curiously.
“No...umm.” She blinked. What did she come for? “Oh! I just wondered if you wanted to finish up your homework.”
“Yeah...we can finish it. It’s out on the table.” He left the bedroom and she followed, sitting beside him at the table.
“Er...could you put your shirt on?”
He looked over at her confused. “Why?”
“Because your muscles are fucking sexy and they make me want to jump you,” she said plainly.
“What’s stopping you?” he asked, checking his watch. “We’ve got t—”
“No, we do not have time, because I’m not going there today. All right?”
He shrugged big shoulders and they finished his homework until they had to head off to school.
Classes flew by that day. During the ones that she had with Beck, he seemed even more withdrawn than normal.
Carmondy wondered if this had anything to do with him sleeping with that other girl. Why did it get to her so much? They weren’t attached. She shouldn’t be feeling any jealousy, yet she couldn’t help it. Jealousy was one of those things that you felt whether you wanted to or not. And then, of course, she started wondering how she compared to the other girl.
She tried to forget about it as practice went on. She wanted to focus. They were scrimmaging and she had been knocked around a bit in the key so her ribs were bothering her a little
Guarding Kendall was always hard and she hated when a screen forced her to play against her. Kendall was quick and very tricky. She handled the ball like a pro and you never knew what she was going to do with it next.
Carmondy did her best to stay on her, giving her pressure. Suddenly Kendall dribbled hard left and Carmondy kept right up with her.
The next thing she knew, she was knocked flat on her back from a screen. She rolled onto her side and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to dull the sharp stabbing pain that was keeping her from breathing, but it didn’t seem to help.
The girls were crowded around her and the coach was at her side within a second.
Carmondy started to panic. She wasn’t listening to what they were saying; she couldn’t. She didn’t just get the wind knocked out of her. This was something else, a weird tightness in her chest. The lack of air was starting to make her dizzy. She held her ribs tighter and tried to pull oxygen in but nothing came. The only thing she could hear was the pathetic gasping noises coming out
of her mouth.
Suddenly Beck was there too, kneeling right beside her. His hands quickly rolled her onto her back, pulling her arms away from her torso. “What’s wrong, Carmondy? Where does it hurt? Your ribs?” he asked, leaning close, one of his hands touching her side lightly.
She managed to shake her head and put a hand to her chest.
“Your chest?”
Her vision was starting to darken and the coach pulled out a cell phone, looking scared.
“Somebody get me an inhaler!” Beck called.
Carmondy couldn’t keep her eyes open but she felt some sort of plastic thing being pushed between her lips.
“Breathe in,” Beck commanded.
But she couldn’t, she couldn’t—
“Come on. You can do it, sweetheart. Try.”
She did her best to concentrate on pulling a breath. She got a tiny bit of air in and Beck hit the inhaler at the right second, getting a bit of the mist down into her lungs. She could taste the bitterness on her tongue.
“Again,” Beck said.
She tried again and was surprised to find that she could do it. Another small amount of air flowed into her lungs, accompanied by the mist from the inhaler.
Beck removed the inhaler from her mouth and peered down at her. Within a few seconds, her breaths were starting to come easier, though still difficult and painful. She could hear the gasping sounds that she was making as she breathed in short, shallow breaths, which was all her lungs would allow. It was painful but a better alternative to suffocating.
“Give us some space,” Beck said, without looking up. “She needs some air.”
The coach stood up. “Ambulance is on its way.” He turned to the rest of the girls. “Everyone back up, give her some room. Everything is going to be fine.”
She rolled over onto her side again, pressing her face against Beck’s knee while she continued the shallow breaths, which were slowly becoming easier.
Beck’s hand was rubbing in slow circles on her back while he kept telling her to relax and just breathe slowly, not to panic. His other hand came down and touched her face. It wasn’t until then that she felt the wetness on her cheek. She had been crying.
It was the most terrifying thing Carmondy had ever experienced. She clenched her eyes shut as she continued breathing, pushing her forehead against the fabric of Beck’s sweatpants on his thigh. Her hand shook as she clutched onto his leg with one hand.
She was still only able to take shallow breaths when Beck urged her to sit up, but immediately felt dizzy and threatened to fall over.
“A little help here!” Beck called, supporting her with both hands.
Carmondy saw Kendall and Anderson rush over. Kendall looked extremely concerned, and was clutching Anderson’s hand tightly.
Anderson helped her sit up while Beck picked the inhaler up again. “One deep breath and hold it in as long as you can, okay?”
She nodded and reached for the inhaler but her arm felt like lead.
Beck pushed the arm away and put the inhaler between her lips. “Breathe.”
She pulled in the biggest breath that she could, earning an odd pain in the chest but got a good amount of the mist into her lungs.
After a few seconds, Carmondy was almost able to take regular-sized breaths.
She glanced up at Kendall, who was wiping at her cheeks roughly. She was standing several feet away but Carmondy could tell that she was shaking.
“Are you...” Her voice was too quiet to hear, and very raspy, so she tried again. “Are you...okay?”
Kendall nodded jerkily and attempted a smile. “Just don’t ever do that again.”
“You’re crying.”
That only made Kendall’s tears come harder, but she still tried to shake her head. “You shouldn’t talk. Just rest, okay?”
Carmondy turned to Beck and pressed a hand to her chest, and then realized that not only were her hands shaking, her whole body was. “What...just happened?”
Beck rubbed a hand through his hair roughly. “You stopped fucking breathing. That’s what happened. Jesus Christ.”
Anderson looked pale. “You were turning blue,” he said.
That just scared her more. What the heck had just happened to her?
Sirens from outside alerted her that the ambulance had arrived. The EMTs came inside, and after arguing and insisting that she could walk, she ignored them and stood up. Beck and a young female med tech grabbed her before she fell. Once she was steady, she made it out of the gym with their help.
Once they assured her that they weren’t going to take her anywhere and just wanted to check on her, she let them help her into the back of the ambulance and sat on the gurney.
Beck leaned against the outer door and watched as they took her pulse and listened to her heart.
She saw the coach come outside and talk to the lead med tech, who wasn’t with her in the ambulance. The woman asked her what had happened and she told her as best she could, Beck adding in a couple things.
“Deep breath,” the EMT told her, holding the stethoscope against her back.
Carmondy obeyed, receiving a tightening in her chest.
After listening to her heart in a few more places, the woman put the stethoscope away. “Have you ever experienced pains in your chest when exercising prior to today?”
She had to speak slowly to keep from having to gasp in a breath. “No.”
“Shortness of breath?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. I mean, we run a lot and stuff but I stay in good shape.”
“Smoke?”
“No.”
“Parents smoke?”
“Umm, they used to I think, when I was younger.”
The woman nodded. “I am pretty sure that what you experienced was an asthma attack. I want you to schedule an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible, which means tomorrow. We are also going to advise your coach to keep you out of practice until you get cleared by your doctor.”
“But...I don’t have asthma.”
“I think you do.”
“I’m never had anything like this happen before.”
“There is a much higher percentage of activity-induced asthma in children with parents who smoked at a young age. You could have just developed it over time or a change in your home or local environment could have helped trigger it.”
“I just moved here, from Maine.”
“Different air. Could be playing a part. Like I said, get an appointment. If it is asthma, especially exercise-induced, it’s easy to manage with an inhaler.”
“How was that an asthma attack though? I wasn’t wheezing or anything.”
“Wheezing is a symptom of asthma but not of an actual attack. In an actual asthma attack, you feel tightness in your chest and are not able to take a breath.”
“But I did, eventually.”
“With the help of an inhaler.” She glanced at Beck. “Sometimes attacks can pass on their own, but if you had been alone without an inhaler...you could be dead.”
She gulped.
“So you don’t think that it could happen again between now and when she sees her doctor?” Beck asked.
“No, as long as she doesn’t get her heart rate up.”
“I don’t have a doctor. Not here, not yet,” Carmondy said.
The EMT nodded. “What might be better then is to just come into the ER this evening and see a doctor. You can have someone take you in the next couple hours.”
“I can drive,” she insisted.
“No you can’t,” Beck and the med tech said at the same time.
After the ambulance left, the coach and Beck made sure she got back inside okay. She was still a little light headed and just wanted to curl up somewhere to fall asleep.
She glanced at Beck. He still looked a little tense, and he kept glancing at her to make sure she wasn’t keeling over. When they entered the gym, Carmondy saw Kendall wrapped tightly in Anderson’s arms. She looked like she was crying again.
Anderson kept her face tucked against his neck and rubbed his hand up and down her back soothingly.
Even though Carmondy didn’t feel like doing anything but sleeping right now, she reached out and touched her friend’s shoulder, causing Kendall to turn around.
“Hey...”
Kendall’s eyes were bloodshot from crying and her cheeks were damp from the tears. “You’re going to be okay.”
“I know,” Carmondy assured her.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For getting all freaked out like this.”
“It’s okay. I feel the same way inside, trust me. That was...really scary.”
Carmondy would never forget the feeling of not being able to breathe. It was horrifying.
Beck touched her lower back. “Where’s your stuff, Carmondy? I’m taking you to the hospital.”
She didn’t have the energy to argue. She knew she would just lose anyway, so she grabbed her sports bag and water bottle from the stage. Beck took them from her and again, she didn’t argue.
Beck talked to the coach for a moment. All the girls were staring at her, like she was some sort of freak for whatever had just happened. She just wanted to go home.
Beck’s hand on her back reminded her they were leaving. He was silent as he led her down the hallways and outside to his car.
“Do you have the keys to your apartment and everything?”
She nodded as she slid into the BMW.
The hospital trip was not the best time of her life. After being put into a room with Beck, they waited in silence until the doctor arrived and sat on the stool near the exam table.
He asked similar questions to what the EMT had asked. He listened to her heart while she told the story. Beck added in a couple morbid comments like, “She was gasping,” and “Her lips were turning blue.”
The doctor finally sat back down on his stool and scribbled something on a little notepad. “I’m writing you a prescription for an albuterol inhaler, very standard.”
“So you think I have asthma?”