by Rose, Ashley
The older man smiled at her reassuringly. “I am 99.9 percent positive that you, Ms. Hamilton, have delayed onset, environmentally triggered, exercise-induced asthma. Your parents smoked when you were young. That is a huge factor, increasing your chances for respiratory problems by 20 to 30 percent. The reason I suspect it hasn’t occurred until now is for a combination of reasons. You have been active all of your life so your lungs, or more specifically, the tubes into your lungs have stayed in good shape. Perhaps if you hadn’t moved here to the dryer air and colder climate you might have never had problems, but what you experienced was undoubtedly an asthma attack. The difficulty with this form of asthma is that it is unpredictable. It might be perfectly fine for a few weeks, or it might bother you every day that you exercise for the rest of your life. The inhaler will allow you to manage your symptoms. Don’t worry, there are many professional athletes out there with the same condition. Dennis Rodman, for example.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Yes. Now, you can fill this prescription here at the hospital pharmacy or at another one in town, but I want you to fill it tonight. Since this was your first attack, we have no way of knowing how much respiratory distress will trigger it. I want you to keep it with you at all times until you get to know your triggers. Always take it with you to practice and games and any other form of physical activity. For your practice tomorrow, if you are feeling okay, I don’t want you to use the inhaler, but be very aware of your breathing. If you start to wheeze or feel tightness, stop right away, take two puffs of the albuterol, catch your breath, and then return to practice. It should manage your symptoms very well. Any questions?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“One other thing. I just thought I’d let you know that if this boy,” he gestured to Beck, “hadn’t recognized your symptoms as an asthma attack and gotten you to take the inhaler, you very well could have suffocated.”
She gulped.
“You said you lived alone. You might consider having a friend over tonight. I don’t think you will suffocate in your sleep or anything. It’s just, I know you might be shaken up from your experience. It can be traumatizing, and you might sleep better knowing someone is nearby.”
“Okay...thanks.”
The doctor nodded and held the door open for them as they walked out.
After they filled her prescription, Beck led her back out to his car. He didn’t say anything as he headed toward her apartment. She didn’t like the silence. How could she have asthma? This was the stupidest day ever.
“What was wrong with Kendall?” she asked at last.
He seemed to lose it for a moment. “Jesus Christ, Carmondy. Do you have any idea what happened? You could have died. You were turning blue, do you understand that? It was fucking scary!”
She flinched. “I didn’t...it’s not my fault.”
“I know,” Beck said, softer this time. “Just...listen to what the doctor told you, okay? Next time, I might not be around to save you.”
She nodded. “I will, I promise. I don’t ever want that to happen again. I was terrified, Beck. I’ve never not been able to breathe before, it’s...really scary.”
He nodded curtly.
“But Kendall...that was something different altogether.”
Beck pulled up to park in front of her apartment. “She had an older brother who had some sort of lung condition. She watched him suffocate to death when she was twelve years old. He was only fourteen.”
“Oh my God.”
“It just brought up memories for her, not your fault.”
Carmondy nodded slowly, feeling terrible.
“Come on.” Beck slid out of the car and she followed.
“You don’t have to walk me up,” she insisted.
“I’m not walking you up,” he said. “I’m staying.”
“What?”
He put a hand on her back and gently pushed her in front of him.
“Beck, you don’t—”
“It’s not up for discussion.”
“Okay, you can stay for a little bit.”
She heard him scoff but ignored it, wanting to pretend she had a little authority.
Once inside her apartment she went straight for her couch, curling her legs and folding herself up in a corner. She looked over her shoulder and saw Beck going through her fridge.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No, thanks. I’m gonna call my dad, okay?”
“Sure.”
She pulled out her phone and called her dad’s phone number. She got his voicemail, so she left a message.
Beck sat down on the other end of the couch with two slices of pizza fresh out of the microwave. “Mind if I turn the TV on?”
She shook her head. “No, go ahead. I really just want to fall asleep.”
“Go to sleep then.” Beck turned the TV on to Sports Center but kept the volume low.
She didn’t want to sleep alone. Even though the doctor had said there was no way she could suffocate in her sleep, she was still freaked out by the whole thing. What she really wanted was to crawl onto his lap and have him wrap his arms around her while she drifted off.
She knew that tenderness wasn’t his style, except...she thought back to earlier when he had been helping her. He had soothed her openly, rubbing her back, wiping the tears from her cheeks, even letting her latch onto his leg.
She watched from across the couch as he finished the pizza. Instead of setting the plate on the table beside the couch, he got up and rinsed it off in the kitchen. Then he poured himself a big glass of water and looked over his shoulder, catching her staring.
“Do you want some water?”
She shook her head.
He came back and sat down on the couch, taking a drink before setting the glass down on a coaster. He had nice manners, actually.
“Beck?”
He looked over at her.
She scooted across the cushions of the couch, sitting beside him.
“What are you doing?” he asked warily.
“I’m just…really tired and...” She touched his arm hesitantly, knowing that he wasn’t into this kind of thing. He had been to comforting earlier, and she wanted that Beck back.
She slipped an arm around his and leaned her head against his shoulder. It was a small step but Beck pulled out of her grasp right away and jerked off the couch as if it were on fire.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, sounding frantic.
“Nothing...I just...never mind.”
“You said you were tired...so just go to sleep.”
She shut her eyes for a moment, wishing that he could just sit back down and hold her. “I can’t, not by myself.”
“I don’t understand,” he snapped, as if she were being elusive.
“I need someone to hold me!” she almost yelled. Her ribs protested at the sudden expanding of her diaphragm but she ignored it.
“Carmondy...I don’t...”
“I know...I know, I just...I can’t help it. I’m...afraid.”
Beck’s jaw clenched and he pulled out his phone, hitting a couple buttons mercilessly before putting it to his ear.
“Who are you calling?” she asked.
He ignored her and waited for whomever it was to pick up. “Hey...she’s fine. Can you come to her apartment? No, I said that she’s fine, she just needs...just come over, okay?” Beck lowered the phone.
Carmondy wasn’t sure how to feel. She knew he wasn’t into the touchy-feely stuff but he really confused her sometimes. Either way, she couldn’t force him into anything, even if she wanted to.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Anderson’s on his way.”
She moved back to the other side of the couch but he didn’t make any move to sit down.
She sat alone, leaning her head against the cushions until there was a knock at the door.
Beck, who had remained standing, went to let Anderson in.
&nbs
p; The dark-haired boy came bounding in the door, a big smile on his face. “Anderson Davies, to the rescue!”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Hey.”
“What’s going on?” he asked, looking from her to Beck.
She shrugged. “I’m tired.”
“Okay?”
“Can you...stay the night?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
“With me?”
“What do you mean?”
She bit her lip, hesitant to answer.
“The whole almost dying thing shook her up. She needs someone to...sleep with her,” Beck snapped.
“Oh okay, teddy bear mode. That’s cool with me, but...” He looked at Beck. “Weren’t you planning on staying anyway?”
“I was.”
Anderson rolled his eyes. “Oh Jesus Christ, Beck. Would you grow some balls already? I know you have a heart, why the hell—”
“He doesn’t want to.” Carmondy cut Anderson’s sentence off. “It’s not a problem. I’m just tired, okay?”
“Yeah, sure, you wanna sleep in your bed?” he asked.
She nodded and got off the couch slowly. “Just let me change out of my practice clothes.”
He nodded and watched her walk into her room. “Sure thing.”
She shut the door behind her and changed into baggy sweats and a fitted T-shirt. When she opened the door again, Anderson and Beck were arguing quietly. They stopped as soon as they heard her.
“Hey.” Anderson smiled. “You ready to get your sleep on?”
She nodded and looked at Beck. “You can stay in the other bedroom if you want.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m going home. Your inhaler’s on the counter, you know how to use it?”
“Yeah.”
Beck nodded curtly before turning and walking out the door.
Anderson came into her room. “How are you doing?” He took his shoes off and urged her into bed while he turned the light off.
“I’m okay. How is Kendall? Beck told me why she was so upset.”
Anderson nodded. “She’s okay now. Just the memories, you know? It scared her.”
Carmondy nodded and crawled under the covers, leaving room for Anderson.
In the dim light, she could see him move across the room, checking to make sure the window was locked. “I’m sorry Beck’s such an ass sometimes.”
“Don’t. I shouldn’t have...I just get mixed signals from him, I guess. I never know if he hates me or not.”
He slid into the bed beside her. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s just too much of a pansy to open up his heart a little.” Anderson’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her against his chest. “Is this okay?”
She nodded against his shirt. “Thanks for this.”
“Not a problem, sweetheart. Just sleep good, okay?”
She did.
Chapter Eight
As Carmondy tried to leave practice the next afternoon, Beck got in her way, herding her out of the mass of bodies and off to the side.
She stepped away from him once they were out of the fray. His shirt was off, and he was dripping with sweat. She felt she should be grossed out...but she wasn’t.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
Carmondy nodded. “Yeah...in private? Let’s just go around the corner.”
They walked away from the small group, and Beck pulled her up the stairs into the empty weight room.
“Beck, what are you—”
His lips cut her off. She moaned as he pulled her body flush with his own and his tongue pushed demandingly into her mouth. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she stood on tiptoe to push her lips tighter against his, overtaken by lust. She’d been angry at him for running out on her last night, but could never stay mad when he was kissing her like that.
Beck yanked his lips away as they caught their breath. “Fuck.”
She looked up at him and touched her swollen lips. She had no doubts about why he had brought her here. She should probably be furious with him, but she had the sudden thought that this was the only way he knew to show her that he cared. And even though he could still be such an ass, his behavior yesterday when he’d helped her through her asthma attack left her with no doubt that he felt something for her.
Beck leaned down and nipped at her ear. “Remember what I told you the other night? What you were going to do if I got you into a weight room?”
She remembered...very well, actually. She nodded.
“Tell me.” His hand snaked around the back of her neck. “Say it out loud,” he commanded.
“I...I’m supposed to be naked, and then I’d bend over one of the benches.” She eyed a tall training bench that was perfect height.
“And then?’ Beck urged.
“I am supposed to beg you for it.”
His hands roamed her body as his teeth played with her ear. “And would you? Would you do all that if I told you to?”
She would. She wished she could have said no but it just wasn’t an option. Every fiber of her being wanted to do exactly that, because he had said it, because he had told her to. “Yes.”
“Good girl.” He cupped her buttocks tightly. “That’s what I want to hear.”
She almost melted at the term he used, said so possessively, so confidently, as if he owned her.
Beck’s laugh rumbled in her ear, and she suddenly knew he had just been testing her. She didn’t care though, to hear the ownership in his voice was more than enough to make up for it.
His fingers slipped playfully under the waistband of her sweats. “I don’t think I can wait until tonight, Carmondy.”
She didn’t want to wait either. Her hands moved to the front of his sweats and started to tug them down but one of his hands caught both of hers.
“Not so fast.” He tsked. “Let’s do this right. Hmm?”
She nodded and Beck snatched her around the waist, not setting her down until they were in front of the bench that she had been eyeing earlier. Beck spun her around and pinned her hips to the edge of the bench with his own. He leaned her forward and planted both of her palms on the vinyl before stepping back.
She wasn’t completely bent over but the position made her ass stick out, making her feel like she was asking for it.
She leaned back to look over her shoulder. “Beck—”
“Ah.” He slapped her ass lightly. “Don’t move. Stay just like that.”
She waited, her excitement building so quickly that when he touched her again, she gasped.
Beck laughed as his hand smoothed up her buttocks slowly, then up her lower back and finally up to her neck. He used light pressure, slowly bending her all the way forward to where her cheek met the vinyl.
She trembled as he used his hand on her lower back to press her torso against the bench.
Her anticipation was growing by the second, coupled with the excitement of knowing someone could walk in on them at any second. “Please...” She looked over her shoulder but he pushed her head back down gently.
“None of that. Now I want you to reach your arms up and grab on to the opposite edge of the bench. Okay?”
She did as he said, gripping the vinyl tightly.
“Good girl.” He pushed her shirt up to run his hands up and down her back. The term made her want to melt again, but instead she gripped the bench tighter and pushed her hips back against his.
Beck hissed out a breath and she smiled, glad she affected him too.
She moaned as Beck split her legs apart and spread them wide, pushing his arousal against her.
“You think that was cute?” he asked. “Did I tell you to do that? No, I didn’t. So if you want this,” he pushed his hips against hers, “you’re going to do only what I say.”
She bit her lip to keep from begging him for it. She didn’t want to resort to that just yet, so she nodded vigorously instead.
“Good. Now—”
His cell phone went off and he cursed, stepping away from
her before pulling the noisemaker from his pocket.
He flipped it open. “Yeah? What...is she okay?”
The tone of his voice made Carmondy straighten and turn around.
“How can you not know what’s causing it?”
He seemed to age in front of her eyes, stress lines creasing his face. She reached out to touch him, to comfort him, but his hand shot up, snatching her wrist before it could get close enough.
“You know I live out of town. It will take me almost two hours...just try to hold out until I can get there...I don’t know—” He glanced at Carmondy. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He snapped his phone shut and without another word, used the hand around her wrist to pull her out of the weight room and down the stairs.
His grip was so tight it was painful. She felt her wrist bruising. “Beck.”
“Come on.” He pulled her faster.
She pulled on her hand. “Slow down.”
“Do you have your stuff? Keys?”
“Yeah, Beck, slow down, you’re—”
“Hurry up.” He punched the doors open and kept pulling her out into the parking lot. He was starting to scare her.
“Beck, stop, please.” She tried to pry his fingers off her wrist. “Beck, you’re hurting me.”
Beck stopped abruptly and turned to face her, releasing her wrist quickly. “Fuck. I’m sorry, I just...your Jeep, I need your Jeep.”
She rubbed her sore wrist. “You can’t go anywhere without me, my dad said—”
“I know, so you’re coming with me.” His eyes pleaded for her to understand, though his tone was still harsh.
“Oh...of course.” She didn’t even think about it. “I don’t know where we’re going, so you’re driving?”
He nodded and grabbed the keys when she held them out to him. “Get in.”
She did as he said, sliding into the passenger seat while he started the Jeep. He left the parking lot in a hurry and sped into traffic, driving quickly but not dangerously.
She kept quiet until they got out of town and on the open road. “Where are we going?”
He didn’t say anything for a few moments. “I’m sorry if I hurt your wrist. I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay.” She looked at her wrist, which was turning red. “But that wasn’t an answer.”