Walking Into The Unknown (# 10 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series)

by Ginny Dye

  *****

  “Biddy would have loved the funeral,” Janie said as she scooped hot chicken and dumplings onto Carrie’s plate.

  “I believe you’re right,” Carrie replied. “All the people she loved the most were there, and I could hear so many of them saying they had to make Biddy proud of them.” She inhaled the succulent aroma wafting up to her nose. “When did you learn how to make this?”

  Janie grinned. “Felicia taught me.”

  Carrie’s fork froze in midair. “Felicia? Our Felicia?”

  “She made me promise not to tell Rose and Annie.”

  “Why?”

  Janie’s grin widened. “Because she doesn’t want either of them to know she can cook as well as they do. She wants to stay in the library, not in the kitchen.”

  Carrie laughed. “Let me guess… She learned how to make chicken and dumplings in a book.”

  “She did,” Janie confirmed. “She heard me talking at Christmas about how I wished I could make something special for Matthew. She suggested chicken and dumplings, but I assured her I was a total failure at dumplings. Two days later, when Annie was visiting June at Blackwell, she took me into the kitchen, pulled out a book, and taught me how to make them.”

  Carrie took a bite, then closed her eyes in ecstasy. “She definitely needs to hide this ability from Rose and Annie,” she murmured. “This is fantastic. You learned well.”

  Janie’s eyes shone with pride. “Matthew thinks so, too.”

  As if called by her words, they heard the front door open. Matthew had gone out back to put away the carriage that had taken them to Moyamensing for the funeral.

  “Do I smell my wife’s chicken and dumplings?”

  “You’d best hurry before I eat them all,” Carrie called.

  Matthew strode into the kitchen, waving a magazine. “How about a trade?”

  “I hardly think you could have anything more enticing than this,” Carrie said before putting another forkful in her mouth.

  “How about the very first copy of the New Revolution?”

  Janie inhaled sharply and reached for the magazine, but Matthew held it out of reach. “The new magazine published by Elizabeth Cody Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and Parker Pillsbury? Give it to me!”

  Matthew continued to hold it high in the air. “I do believe I mentioned a trade,” he taunted.

  Carrie laughed and quickly filled a plate for him. “Here. Now give us that magazine.”

  Matthew grinned, handed over the publication, and then started eating. “You have made me a happy man, Janie,” he breathed between bites.

  “And you’ve made me a happy woman,” Janie replied as she opened the magazine.

  Carrie bent over her friend’s shoulder so they could read together. “This is the official publication of the National Woman Suffrage Association. They are demanding a federal constitutional amendment to secure the right to vote.”

  Janie nodded. “The American Woman Suffrage Association believes success will be more easily achieved through state-by-state campaigns.”

  “Actually,” Matthew commented between bites, “the women in the American Woman Suffrage Association feel it is necessary to postpone the fight while the country fights for the black vote.”

  Carrie frowned. “There are now two women’s suffrage organizations?”

  Janie nodded. “A lot happened last year.” She did not need to add that Carrie had been too lost in grief to be aware of political actions in the country. Carrie had joined Abby on the campaign through Kansas, but her stepmother had been careful to not pull her too deeply into all the details of the movement.

  Carrie knew she would receive no judgment from her friends for being oblivious in the wake of Robert’s murder. She continued to scan the publication. “Elizabeth and Susan obviously disagree that anything less than a federal constitutional amendment will work.” She would never forget meeting the two women in New York City a few years earlier. “I can’t believe anyone would think they would back down from the fight they started.”

  “There are women who believe they have to choose the battles they fight with limited resources,” Matthew observed. “They are afraid if they push too hard, they will lose the little ground they have gained.”

  Carrie shrugged. “It’s like going onto the battlefield expecting to lose,” she retorted. “You see how well that worked in Kansas last year. If you don’t fight to win, what is the point of fighting at all?”

  Matthew chuckled. “So, I take it you believe in the necessity for a federal constitutional amendment?”

  “Of course,” Carrie answered. “Don’t you?”

  “I do,” Matthew assured her, “but…”

  Carrie looked at him sharply when he hesitated. “But, what?” she demanded.

  Matthew met her eyes evenly. “I believe it is going to be a long battle. Perhaps as long as the one it will take to win true equality for blacks. White men tend to demand total power, and they will not relinquish any of it until they are afraid they’d lose power if they don’t.”

  “You’re different,” Janie reminded him.

  “Yes, but I am a minority,” Matthew answered. “Don’t count on other men believing or acting like I do.”

  Carrie sighed, knowing he was right. “I know action is the only thing that will change the current reality. I read something that Ralph Waldo Emerson said.” She paused, wanting to make sure she got it right. “He said that an ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”

  Janie nodded. “He’s right. No one can afford to sit back when a wrong is being done. I have talked about this with many of my friends at school. Even once we get the vote, we are going to have to fight as hard, or harder, to have any kind of political power because men are going to block us at every step.”

  “So, we just keep fighting,” Carrie said grimly. “I’m sick of living in a country run exclusively by men.” Her thoughts flashed to Robert and Bridget. She thought of the anger, fear and hatred fueling the KKK and the other vigilante groups. She thought of the hundreds of thousands of men who had died during the war, and the equal number that would suffer through the rest of their lives with disabilities. “It may take women a very long time to truly have power in America, but we must keep fighting.”

  “We must try,” Janie agreed.

  “No,” Carrie replied, a little surprised at the intensity in her own voice, but certain she was right. “We can’t just try. We have to do it.” She paused. “Trying sounds as if we’ll do everything we can, but we may fail. Failure is not an option, Janie. We have to do it.”

  Matthew was watching her with something akin to sadness.

  “Why are you looking at me that way?” Carrie asked.

  Matthew paused, but met her eyes squarely. “Because you are setting yourself up for a battle that will cause you great hurt,” he said. “No one who sets out to achieve big change comes out of the battle unscathed.”

  “I don’t expect to,” Carrie replied, realizing how little that impacted her decision. “I wanted to go with Robert and Bridget, but I am still here. If I don’t make that mean something, then what is the point?”

  *****

  Carrie was happily full of chicken and dumplings when the first knock came at the door. She had already met individually with all those joining her on the wagon train to Bosque Redondo. They were having their first group meeting tonight, and then she would depart for Richmond the next morning. She longed to be on the plantation for a week before they met in Independence, Missouri.

  “Carolyn!” Carrie kissed the older woman’s cheek after she shrugged out of her coat.

  Carolyn’s blue eyes sparkled with excitement. “We’re really going to do this, aren’t we? It’s not some crazy fantasy I’m having?”

  “I do believe we are.” Carrie also felt that the trip to New Mexico was a surreal hallucination. “The amount of homeopathic remedies and medical supplies we have waiting in boxes seems a sure indicator.”

  Carolyn gri
nned, looking far younger than her fifty-three years. “My friends tell me I am certifiably insane, but I tell them I am certifiably happy to have the freedom to do what I want with my life. I believe they are all secretly jealous.”

  Janie opened the door to their next guest. “Melissa! Welcome.”

  Melissa Whiteside smiled as she carefully removed her cloak and hung it on the hook. She was a rather plain woman, but the look of warm compassion in her brown eyes attracted everyone to her. She engendered trust in everyone who met her. “Good evening, all. I ran into Dr. Strikener on my way out after my last class. He sends his greetings…and his envy.”

  Janie laughed. “He’s told me he would give almost anything to go on this trip, but he can’t miss all the classes he must teach.”

  “Giving up your career is not such a huge loss,” Carrie said teasingly. “He must not want to join us that badly.”

  Matthew was coming down the stairs when the next knock came. “Randall Bremerton! I’m glad you could make it.”

  Randall shook snow out of his blond hair and beard. “I’ve made it here, but I’m not sure any of us will make it home. It started snowing hard just before I got here. The idea of New Mexico sunshine is more appealing all the time.”

  “I know how you feel,” Melissa replied. “I think our classmates didn’t really believe this was going to happen. Now that they are watching it come to life, they suddenly realize what they are missing out on.”

  “Their loss,” Carolyn said breezily. “If they think they are jealous now, wait until we get back with all our stories.” Her eyes shone with delight.

  Another knock announced Nathan Gaffney. Carrie had liked him on sight. Lively blue eyes blazed from under a thick thatch of red hair. He was almost as tall as Moses, but wiry strength replaced Moses’ powerful bulk. His strong Irish brogue filled her with delight.

  Nathan swept her up into a warm embrace. “Carrie, me love. It’s good to be seeing you.”

  Carrie grinned at him, sure his constant good humor would be a boon during the many months on the trail. “We’re all here, so we should get started before the snow gets too deep.”

  Two hours later, all the details had been hammered out. They all knew their specific jobs before they boarded their train and headed to Independence, Missouri. They would arrive in Missouri on January twenty-eighth, so they would have time to get the wagons loaded before they departed.

  “Remember,” Carrie reminded them, “whatever you forget can be purchased in Independence. Every wagon train depends on the supplies that can be purchased in the stores there. They will have everything we need, and many things we don’t yet know that we’ll need. There is plenty of room for everything, as long as you don’t decide you need a baby grand piano to serenade us on moonlit nights.”

  Everyone was still laughing and talking excitedly as they bundled up against the cold and departed. The men would walk the women home before they made their way to their own lodgings.

  Janie turned to Carrie when the last guest had left. “We’re doing it,” she said softly.

  “You keep saying that,” Carrie teased.

  “Doesn’t it seem like a dream to you, too?”

  “Everything seems like a dream right now,” Carrie admitted. The intensity of the trip, dealing with Philadelphia, having Biddy die in front of her, and saying good-bye to Rose and Moses were all swarming in her mind. She caught her breath. “We’re walking forward, Janie. Just like when the war started and the first injured soldiers started filling Chimborazo, we have no idea of what we are getting ourselves into, but we got through the war, and we’ll get through this.”

  Janie looked at her curiously. “Is that how you see this trip? Something to get through?”

  Carrie considered the question for several long moments. “I suppose I still see every day as something to get through,” she responded candidly. “I find glimmers of excitement, and there are times I feel genuinely happy, but then I think about Robert and Bridget, and it all seems so empty.” She stopped and stared into the flames crackling in the fireplace. “I think my greatest hope is that we will make a difference, and that somehow, when I return from this trip, I’ll feel like a whole person again.” She hated admitting it, but she wouldn’t deny the truth she was sure Janie saw anyway.

  Janie grasped her hands. “I have not experienced the loss you have, Carrie, but I understand the desire to feel like a whole person again. I need to walk away from this life for a while so that I can put the train wreck behind me.” She couldn’t suppress her shudder. “I can finally sleep through the night, but the nightmares …”

  Carrie gazed into her eyes. “I’m so glad we’re doing this together,” she murmured. “I have no idea what is going to happen, but it’s enough to know I’ll be doing it with you and Matthew. You and I got each other through the war, and now we’ll get each other through this part of our life.” She forced a grin. “And I believe we’ll have fun along the way.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Rose shook snow from her thick coat before she hung it next to the door. She still marveled at the sparkling white clapboard house they were calling home. They didn’t live on campus because they had their family with them, but instead rented a house close to classes. At first, she had been afraid they would feel isolated from the rest of the college community, but nothing could have been further from the truth. There was hardly a night that passed when they didn’t have other students as company for dinner. It had been only two weeks since their arrival, but she already felt completely at home, and she had never imagined she could feel so secure.

  “A penny for your thoughts.” Moses appeared from the parlor to wrap his arms around her.

  “They are worth far more than that,” Rose said loftily as she leaned back against his broad chest. “You are looking at the woman who had the highest grade in her class for the test we took yesterday.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Moses replied, tightening his arms. “You should be teaching all the classes you’re taking.” He leaned down to give her a warm kiss. “Congratulations.”

  Rose couldn’t deny that she hadn’t yet been taught anything she didn’t already know, but being with other women who had the same passion she had for teaching made sitting in the classes all worthwhile. “It’s not their fault I’d read all the textbooks twice before I arrived.” She cocked her head. “Are you learning anything?”

  “Far more than you are,” Moses admitted. “I never got through all the textbooks, and I surely haven’t been practicing law for the last four years. I like all my classes, and it is an interesting experience to be using only my brain for a while, but that is not the most important thing I’m learning.”

  “Oh?” Rose tossed two pieces of wood into the stove, closed the door securely, and started a kettle of water for tea. Then she turned to her husband. She was struck by his serious expression. “What have you learned?”

  “I’ve learned what our country could be like for blacks. I’ve met so many of the black families here.” He paused. “Do you know that twenty percent of Oberlin is black?” He shook his head. “Compare that to New York City or Philadelphia, which only have two to three percent of their entire population. The people here feel safe, Rose.” He reached for a scone she had made early that morning, slathered it with butter, and took a big bite. “They aren’t waiting for the KKK to come here because they never will. There is no fear, and people are free to live their lives.”

  Rose nodded. “I’m not surprised. Oberlin had more influence on the Abolition Movement than any other town in the country. They fought for abolition before most people ever heard the word. They sent out alumni by the hundreds who started abolition societies in their towns. When other parts of the country were still trying to decide how they felt about it, the people in Oberlin were fighting slavery almost every day. Then, to put more action behind their beliefs, they had thousands come through town on the Underground Railroad.”

  “We owe this town and th
is college a lot.”

  “Does it feel strange?” Rose asked.

  Moses understood what she meant. “Strange to not have to always be on guard? Strange to not be waiting for the next attack? Strange to not wonder when your school might be burned down again? Yes, all of those things feel strange.”

  Rose frowned. “I still worry about everyone on the plantation, but it’s so wonderful to send Felicia off to school and not be concerned about what might happen. John will start school next year, even though he already knows more than most of the children.” She heard the kettle whistle and turned to pour hot water over her tea. Then she reached in her pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I got a letter from Carrie today.”

  Moses snatched another scone before he headed for the table. “Read it,” he commanded.

  Felicia came down the stairs from her bedroom. “Did I hear you say there was a letter from Carrie?”

  Rose smiled, handed her daughter the last scone, and carried her tea to the table. She slowly unfolded the thick sheaf of paper. “Most of this is just for me, but there are things both of you will want to hear.” She searched for the areas she had underlined, and began to read.

  “Your replacement teacher has been hired. All your students miss you, but they are trying to make the best of your absence so you will be proud of them when you return. They are looking forward to the new teacher arriving, and there have been no more threats against the school. I suppose losing several of their men during the Harvest Festival has dampened their spirits for another attack. They know to expect guards. Tell Moses that no one is apathetic, however. The guards are still there every night, and I suspect they will be for years to come.”