by Rachel Lee
Regardless, she decided as they wound along the autumn streets of Conard City, it was nice to have Wyatt with her. She wasn’t alone. He’d made it clear that she didn’t have to be alone, even though this mess was mostly her responsibility.
And in his usual way he was going right ahead and involving himself. The way he had when they’d first met at the law school. He’d only talked to her for a few minutes before he was volunteering to help her with her studies in any way she needed. And far better than the other guys who’d approached her trying to wangle her phone number or suggest they meet, Wyatt had simply given her his own name and phone number. No pressure. You need some help, call me.
He’d meant it, too. The first time they’d met for a study session had been in the library. After that they’d sometimes met at other places, growing from tutor and student to friends until it finally hadn’t seemed at all out of place to occasionally do something else together.
She’d always felt safe with him, certain that he didn’t have some ulterior motive. And then he’d graduated and left for the navy. Only in his absence did she realize how much care he’d taken of her.
Now he was doing it again. She smiled faintly as she looked out the car window, forgetting all her troubles for a few minutes. Wyatt. He’d always been remarkable.
Too bad he’d never acted on his interest in her back then. Too bad he wasn’t acting now.
Or maybe she was sending all the wrong signals to him. Maybe she always had.
Then she drew herself up short. How many more problems did she need to add to her life? She’d already done a pretty effective job of hashing it up. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship?
The doctors’ office was in a small medical center right near the community hospital.
“This is it,” Wyatt said. “Pretty good care from such a small institution.”
She hesitated before getting out of the car. “I want to see the doctor by myself.”
“You don’t think I’d follow you into the exam room, do you? But if there are any instructions...”
She interrupted, giving in. “I get it. You can talk to her after.”
“Thank you.”
She glanced at him, wondering if he was being sarcastic, but his expression appeared sincere. Well, he had pushed himself into the middle of this, and Wyatt wasn’t an insensitive dolt. She’d protested, he’d pressed, and he was surely aware that the doctor didn’t have to tell him one thing...and wouldn’t without her permission.
She had to admit, however, it felt a whole lot better to walk into that office with him at her side. She was nervous about this, although she couldn’t exactly say why. She’d had pelvic exams before. This wouldn’t be much different.
And yet it was, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.
Apparently he sensed her discomfort, because he surprised her by taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before she walked up to the counter to check in. Then he sat in one of the waiting room chairs, and by the time she finished at the counter, he was in conversation with a young woman near her age.
“Amber, this is Julie Archer. She’s having her first, too.”
Julie had a warm smile and beautiful auburn hair. “Nice to meet you, Amber. Wyatt says you’re an old friend of his. I thought I’d meet you Saturday night, but this is a pleasant surprise. How long will you be in town?”
“I’m not sure,” Amber answered honestly. “I’m between jobs, and Wyatt’s being very generous.”
At that moment, a door to the side of reception opened. “Julie? Doctor’s ready for you.”
Julie smiled warmly at Amber. “I’m sure we’ll talk more.”
“I hope so.” Then someone else in scrubs appeared to give Amber a clipboard full of questions to fill out. Medical history. But as she stared at it, she remembered what Julie had said. “Why would I meet her Saturday night?” she asked.
“I’m having a few friends over, remember? You don’t have to attend.”
But clearly he’d mentioned Amber. Dang, she thought as she tried to focus on the questionnaire. Was she going to be a bug under a microscope?
“Just a few friends,” he said again. “I think you’ll like them, and if you stay awhile you won’t feel as much like the stranger in a strange land.”
She doubted that. Since Tom, there wasn’t a day when she didn’t feel like a stranger to everything she’d known.
Except Wyatt. After the first brief awkwardness caused by such limited communication over the years, she felt the decade had just slipped away, that she knew him at least as well as she had way back in law school.
Weird. Then she turned her attention to answering all the questions.
* * *
The wait for Amber wasn’t terribly long, maybe forty-five minutes, but Wyatt had to admit he was a little impatient. Racing around the edges of his thoughts was concern for this child of Amber’s. To never know its father? And what about Amber? Sure, women could do this alone. They did all the time, but wouldn’t it be easier to have a helpmate, someone to share the burdens? And better yet, the joys.
He’d been looking forward to starting a family as he’d grown more serious with Ellie. Now he’d had one dumped on his doorstep, an old friend he cared about. He hoped he could find a way to persuade Amber to let him be a continuing part of her life and the baby’s.
Odd feelings to be having, but it was as if Amber’s situation had opened up a surprising place in him. He’d been telling himself he was content and fortunate, and when Ellie had hurt him so deeply, he’d decided it was better to forge ahead alone than to take that risk again. Especially since he could be a bad judge of a woman’s character.
Amber’s situation should have convinced him he was right. Trusting another person so much, letting them inside so far, only to have them rip out your heart, seemed like a stupid risk to take.
Yet here he was, forming an attachment that could be equally risky. He felt as if the years were slipping away, but he was well aware that Amber couldn’t be the young girl he remembered any longer. The years and experience changed people. That should be warning enough, but there was more.
She would be here only temporarily. She had a thirst to do the bigger things in life, hence her decision to go with a large law firm. She clearly wouldn’t find enough to stimulate her in a one-horse town like this.
But, damn, he wanted her. The need was growing with each passing day, and the fact that she was pregnant wasn’t stopping it. He supposed he should feel guilty, considering what she was going through and what she still faced. She needed his support and his understanding, not his desire. Hell, she probably felt worse about romantic relationships than he did.
Another woman he vaguely knew arrived for her appointment. He was acutely aware that she did a double take at seeing him here, then smiled and nodded.
And thus began the gossip. He wondered what they’d be saying by tomorrow. Then the receptionist called him. “Judge? You can go back now. First door on the right.”
He didn’t have to look at the woman—what was her name? He ought to know it—to realize that had sealed the deal. Rockets would be going up in a town where gossip was the only free entertainment. He hoped they enjoyed it.
Setting a smile on his face, he marched through the door and into the office as directed. Dr. Joy Castor sat on the far side of the desk and Amber was seated in one of the two chairs in front of it.
Joy smiled at him. “Hey, Wyatt. Amber tells me you’re a buttinsky friend.”
“I just want to make sure I do everything right while she’s visiting me.”
“There speaks a man who’s never experienced this before.” Joy winked. “Okay, as I told Amber, pregnancy is usually a very healthy, uncomplicated process. A few dos, a few don’ts, unless problems develop, and at this point I don’t see anyt
hing to worry about. Early days yet, so she should be coming in once a month for the next few months unless she notices a problem of some kind. I gave her a list, so I’m not going to recite it.”
“Fair enough,” Wyatt agreed as relief swept through him.
“Your job,” Joy continued, “will be to make sure she takes a walk every day for at least a half hour. Other than that, pamper her all you want.” Joy gave a little laugh. “Pampering is a great thing.”
When they walked out of the office, the woman who had been there earlier had vanished and no one else was waiting. Wyatt stood by while Amber paid the bill, even though he would have liked to pay it himself.
However, he had a feeling he might have encroached enough for one day. She hadn’t even wanted him to come this far.
He stopped by the diner on the way home. “I didn’t start dinner,” he said. “Want to dine in or should I get takeout?”
She leaned her head back and he saw that she looked tired. “Amber? Are you all right?”
She turned her head, smiling faintly. “I guess I was more uptight about this visit than I realized. I feel drained.”
“So eat at home?”
“Please.”
* * *
It was only Thursday, such a short time since her arrival on Sunday, but she already felt as if she were coming home as she entered Wyatt’s house. The minute the door closed behind her, she felt cocooned in warmth and safety. Wyatt had always made her feel safe, and she guessed that sense extended to his home.
She was tired, though. Hanging her jacket on the coat tree, she followed Wyatt into the kitchen.
“We can eat in here,” he said as he began to empty items onto the island, “or I can make you comfy on the living room sofa with a tray table. Your choice.”
“The couch might put me to sleep right now, and frankly, I’m more hungry than tired.” Barely. She hoped the food would increase her energy level. When he waved her into a chair, she took it and let herself sag a bit. God, she must really have been on pins and needles about this doctor visit. Usually only a trial or a truly difficult client left her feeling this drained. And she’d hardly done a thing today.
Wyatt didn’t leave the food in the containers. Instead he scooped just about everything into serving bowls and plates, then invited her to help herself to anything that appealed.
She eyed the amount of food. “You expecting an army?”
He laughed. “No, but leftovers are good, usually, and I didn’t bother to ask what you’d like. So a little of everything.”
“That sandwich doesn’t look little,” she said.
“No, it’s pretty big, but I cut it in half.” He poured her a glass of milk and a water for himself, then sat facing her.
“So, okay, what didn’t the doc tell me?” he asked as he took half of that huge sandwich. She reached for the salad. Those greens and tomatoes were calling to her like a siren’s song.
“Nothing, really,” she said. “Life will continue pretty much as normal for a while. Don’t wear anything that binds my waist, no more than two cups of coffee a day, take my prenatal vitamins.”
“And the morning sickness?”
“I should just avoid any foods that don’t appeal to me and otherwise keep crackers beside the bed.”
He nodded. “I’ll see to it.”
She smiled. “It’s nothing to worry about unless it gets really bad. So here I am, extremely healthy, and maybe I should try to focus on what I need to do next.”
Holding the sandwich in his hand, he raised his gaze to her. “There’s no rush, Amber. Let me be perfectly clear about that. You’re not putting me out in the least, and I’m actually enjoying getting to know you again. So please, don’t feel like you have to rush for any reason. Take your time.”
Amber nodded, suddenly unable to speak as her throat tightened. Oh, no, was she going to weep again? Moving between utter numbness and tears was hard to take, swinging back and forth as if she had no control of her emotions. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she was out of control. Maybe it was the pregnancy. Damn, why hadn’t she thought to ask the doctor about that?
But Wyatt’s generosity had touched her to her very core. She tried to remember the last time anyone had wanted to take care of her without asking anything in return, and she couldn’t. Her life had been too work driven, but even her one folly with a man had never made her feel as cared for as Wyatt just had.
“Amber?”
She hardly dared look at him, for fear that he would read her. A lawyer learned to be inscrutable in a courtroom, but she couldn’t seem to manage that with Wyatt.
“Do you need to cry?”
“I don’t want to,” she said thickly.
“Let it out. I’m not scared of it, and if it helps, do it. You’ve been to hell and back, and all in a short time.”
Her voice remained thick. “I haven’t been to hell. People have worse than this happen to them.” She speared a cherry tomato and popped it into her mouth, forcing herself to chew.
“Hell is relative,” he said. “I like to say people have troubles, and it’s kind of pointless to argue which is heavier, fifty pounds of rocks or fifty pounds of sand. Sure we could find someone who has it worse, but you’ve been lied to and betrayed, you had to give up your job and with it a chunk of the future you had planned, and you’re unexpectedly on your way to becoming a mother. If none of that feels particularly good right now, I sure won’t blame you. Big, little, who’s to say. Fact is, your plate is full.”
“I should be happy about the baby.”
“Eventually.”
She dared to look at him finally. “You don’t think I’m awful?”
“No. Give yourself time. You’ve had a lot of shocks.”
“You’re kind,” she murmured.
“Just honest.”
She shook her head. “I’m so used to being in control, Wyatt. And I’m ashamed that when things went out of my control I couldn’t handle it. I’m still not handling it. I seem to be on some kind of emotional roller coaster with no idea where I’m going, no idea why this is happening, no idea what to do about it. I don’t like being helpless!”
He pushed a plate her way. “Hummus and crackers. Unless I’m mistaken, carbs are good for your stomach right now. Don’t just rely on salad. You might feel sick again. And you’re far from helpless.”
She swallowed hard, then decided he was right. Inviting as the salad had looked to her, the tomato didn’t seem to be settling well. She reached for a cracker and spread some hummus on it. “How can you say I’m far from helpless? I’ve landed here and I’m taking advantage of your generosity. That’s a long way from independent.”
“You’re not taking advantage of me at all. As for independence... Amber, none of us is truly independent. Sooner or later we need someone’s help. How very nice it is to have friends. Life would be awful without them.”
After dinner, he told her to go take a nap, anywhere she felt comfortable. She didn’t argue. Weariness was weighing her down the way numbness had before. It was a roller coaster.
She went upstairs and changed into comfortable yoga pants and an oversize sweatshirt. She thought about stretching out on the bed, but it felt so far away. From what she didn’t know, but she didn’t want the privacy of this room right now.
Heading back downstairs, she heard Wyatt cleaning up in the kitchen. Part of her wanted to join him, but she was just too tired. She wandered into the living room, outfitted with overstuffed furniture in burgundies and blues, a large room that looked like it might have emerged from the set of a period piece. Smiling faintly, she guessed no one had changed this room in a very long time. It was probably almost ready to be roped off like a display in a museum.
How odd, she thought as she curled up on the sofa beneath a knitted afghan. She neve
r would have imagined Wyatt living in a place like this.
A throw pillow cradled her head and she closed her eyes. Set free, her mind started to wander. What if she hadn’t become pregnant?
Well, she wouldn’t be here, that was for sure. She’d still be at the firm, ignoring the occasional stares until everyone else became bored.
But as sleep crept up on her, she decided she was very glad she was here. She felt comfortable with Wyatt. Felt as if she mattered.
And she wished he were holding her right now.
* * *
When she awoke, the only light in the room trickled in from the foyer beyond. Wyatt must have turned off the lamp in here.
She felt ever so much better, she realized as she sat up. As the throw tumbled from her shoulders, she discovered the room was a bit cool, despite what she was wearing. Wrapping the afghan around her, she rose and went to discover if it was the middle of the night or if Wyatt was still up.
Standing in the foyer, she at last picked out the sound of tapping keys from his office. From the kitchen, the refrigerator suddenly kicked on, humming. At night, in this big house, sounds seemed louder, more noticeable.
Well, she could head up to bed, but she wanted to be with Wyatt. She made her way down the hall to his office and found the door wide-open. He was intensely absorbed in reading on his computer, and as she looked she recognized the distinctive layout of an online law library.
After a moment’s hesitation—because she didn’t know if she should disturb him—she knocked lightly on the door frame.
Immediately he swung his chair around and smiled. “Feel better?”
“Much. Am I bothering you?”
He shook his head and motioned her to the armchair. “I was just catching up on my reading. Current federal Supreme Court filings. Some recent cases in this state.”
“Trying to keep up can be almost a full-time job.”
“Not unless you want to read every word. Mostly I just want to know what’s out there so I can look it up when I need to.” He gave a quiet laugh. “Then there are the times when I get intrigued and become too deeply involved in reading the facts of the cases.”