by Rachel Lee
“Some of them are fascinating.”
“Some of them are head-scratchers. How many times have you asked yourself, How in the heck did they manage to fall into this tangle?”
“Truthfully? Rarely. Because I was mostly dealing with corporate clients, and their motivations were as clear as the contracts they weren’t written in.”
He laughed again, more heartily. “Remember Professor Jagger?” He lifted his voice to a higher tone. “‘Most lawyers would be out of work if people were just honest.’”
Amber laughed with him. “So true. I certainly would have been, since I mostly dealt with contract disputes.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
She thought about it. “I’m not sure,” she said finally. “I didn’t think about it, I just did my job. But sometimes...well, sometimes I’d get annoyed when I looked at deliberately fuzzy language and wondered how someone had gotten away with it. I mean, it’s the job of people like me to make contracts clear, to avoid leaving wiggle room.”
“So you came in on cases once the wiggle had showed up?”
“Sometimes. Then there were the contracts where the language was totally clear but expectations weren’t.” She shrugged. “Sometimes I had to remind myself that misunderstandings happen, and not all of them are malicious.”
“Did you ever do estate law?”
“No. I hear when there’s money involved, people can get really nasty, though.”
He nodded. “So now you could move on to a different kind of law. Would you? You’re as free as a bird to make a big change.”
“Not quite free,” she answered, her hand drifting toward her tummy. A baby. Little by little the child within her was becoming real, part of more and more of her thoughts. “Wyatt? Did you ever want kids?”
“I sure did. And do. I happen to like them. Especially before the world erases the wonder from them.” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Especially before they wind up explaining to me why they thought boosting a car for a joyride was a good idea, or why they couldn’t resist drag racing down a public street.”
She laughed again.
“You didn’t eat much at dinner,” he said, rising. “Let’s get something in your tummy while you’re feeling good.”
Surprising her, he crossed to stand in front of her and held out his hand. Gripping the throw with one hand, she reached out with her other and slipped it into his. At once she was overwhelmed by his warmth, the feeling of his skin against hers.
As they walked toward the kitchen, she realized she felt happy. Excited. Walking down the hall holding hands with this man made her feel good in a way she had seldom felt. Like her law school graduation day. Like when she got her first job with a big firm. Like the few times in her life when she’d felt her dreams were coming true.
“You seem to be feeling a whole lot better,” he remarked.
“Giddy might be a better word.” It was true, she thought as she entered the kitchen with him. Roller coaster indeed. Let the giddiness reign. It was like being on a first date with a guy she’d been crazy about forever, and she didn’t want to quell the emotion.
“Why?” he asked.
She glanced at him in the bright overhead light, and all of a sudden the air went out of the room. He had a smile on his face, but his dark eyes seemed to reflect fire. Her heart skipped beats, and longing poured through her, happiness giving way to an almost painful hope and anticipation.
His voice became quiet. “Don’t look at me like that. I might not be able to resist. Anyway, you need to eat something.”
She fought to draw a breath. “No,” she whispered. “Not now.”
“What not now?”
“No food. Just you.”
“God, Amber,” he muttered. Then he lifted his hand to cup her cheek, to run his thumb over her cheekbone. “You’re driving me crazy. I’m not supposed to feel like this.”
“Why not?” she murmured, her whole body coming alive.
“Because you’re in my care.”
“To heck with that. Wyatt... I always wanted...”
He didn’t let her speak another word. Bending his head, he brushed his lips lightly against hers, as if testing. At first she felt as if she were melting, a calm warmth flooding her. Then a quiver ran through her, and flames leaped along her nerve endings. All from that simple, tentative touch. She let the throw slide to the floor as her body heated.
Then his mouth brushed hers again. A soft moan escaped her and he returned for a deeper kiss, one that took possession of her mouth the way she wanted him to take possession of her entire body.
Yes, she’d wanted this all the way back when she’d been fresh to law school and he’d decided to help her along. All the time he’d avoided becoming more than her friend. All the time she had never dated the men closer to her age because Wyatt was all she wanted.
Time had passed, they were both different people, but the hunger in her had apparently never died. She had to know. Even if only once, she needed Wyatt’s loving. It was a question that had been begging for an answer for more than a decade.
Her limbs began to turn syrupy. As if he sensed it, he slid an arm around her waist, but even as she reached up for more of his embrace, he broke the kiss gently and stepped back, holding her loosely.
“Wyatt?” she breathed.
“Not now,” he answered. “Not now.”
She opened her eyes and could have sworn she saw her desire reflected on his face, in his now heavily lidded eyes.
“You’re vulnerable,” he said simply. “Too vulnerable. So...”
So. She got it. She understood it, even. But that didn’t mean she liked it. Somehow she was seated at the table and he was placing food in front of her, as if that would answer any of her cravings.
“It would be nice,” she said eventually, “if you would tell me what just happened.”
“You know,” he answered. “We kissed. It’s early days and you aren’t in any way settled. I don’t want you to ever feel I took advantage of you.”
He was right and she knew it. She had admitted that she was riding a roller coaster right now. But understanding didn’t diminish her huge disappointment. Saddened, she picked up the throw and draped it over the back of a chair.
* * *
Wyatt laid out leftovers that he thought might appeal to her, judging by her choices at other meals. She didn’t seem inclined toward anything spicy, so he put out the potato salad, a couple of rolls that hadn’t had time to go stale and some jelly and butter.
She reached immediately for a roll and spread it lightly with butter.
He could read the disappointment on her face, and he definitely shared it. He’d known a powerful moment when he’d kissed her, a need that had roared to life with an intensity that had taken him by surprise. Yeah, he knew he was attracted to her, knew he had to keep pushing aside sexual thoughts about her, but he’d kissed other women without responding that fast and hard.
Wow.
So yes, he was disappointed, too. But she wasn’t through the worst of her reaction to all that had happened, as had been evidenced by the way her moods were swinging. He didn’t want to make love to her in a moment of weakness only to add to her problems. Nor would he like himself very much if he did.
She ate half the roll and drank some milk. Pushing her plate aside, she said, “I’ll settle down.”
“I know you will,” he answered.
She looked up and gave him an impish smile he hadn’t seen since law school. “Then?”
“Then we’ll see if we both still feel the same way.”
“Good. Because I realized it hasn’t changed in a decade.”
His brows lifted.
“Really, Wyatt, did you think I was immune to you all those years ago? But despite what your fa
ther said about you being sweet on me back then, the off-limits signs were easy to read, even for me.”
He studied her a moment, then laughed. “They were up to protect you.”
“You’ve got to stop feeling like you have to protect everyone,” she said. “Maybe I was too young ten years ago, I don’t know. But I’m not too young now. Did you really want me back then?”
“Do you think I was a robot? Of course I wanted you. But you seemed like such a lost lamb at first, and I was so much older. I would have been a cradle robber.”
“Not quite.” She drew a long breath. “Just grant me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Admit that messed up or not, I’m an adult now. I’m entitled to my mistakes. God knows, I’ve made enough of them. Sheltering me doesn’t protect me, it only leaves me more vulnerable because I lack experience.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I might have had the sense to realize that Tom could have been lying. It’s such an old lie, a man saying he’s in the process of a divorce. Meaning that I should have had the experience to know that someone who could only meet me at lunch hour was probably leading me on and hiding me. There should have been red flags waving over that entire situation. Now that it’s happened, I won’t be so trusting in future. I’ve learned a painful but necessary lesson.”
He leaned back in his chair, studying her thoughtfully. “You’re right. But I can’t take credit for sheltering you except that year in law school. And frankly, Amber, you were wide-open to every wolf who sniffed around, but you were totally focused on your studies. I may have been posted off-limits in your view, but you were pretty much swamped in a desire to succeed.”
Her gaze wavered, then dropped. “You’re right,” she admitted. “I noticed you, but I didn’t notice anyone else. And with the way I’d been raised, and my parents practically breathing over my shoulder with their expectations, I didn’t leave much room to learn about life. It wasn’t much better once I started practicing. Those big firms consume your life, especially at the lower levels.”
“Don’t take all the blame on yourself, though. Plenty of women have been misled by unscrupulous men like Tom. However, I would never advise you to stop trusting people, because most people are trustworthy. Unfortunately, that leaves you open to the creeps.”
She nodded. “But...well...as a lawyer you often get to see the darker side of human nature. I failed to extrapolate.”
He couldn’t argue with that, but given that she’d been mostly involved in contracts law, she’d gotten a different view than if she’d handled divorces, trusts and estates.
On the other hand, his experience with family law and all its ugliness hadn’t kept him from falling into Ellie’s clutches.
He snorted, drawing her attention back to him.
“What?” she asked.
“I don’t think there’s any armor or knowledge that can prevent any of us from being fools at times. I almost married Ellie. I look back and wonder how I could have been so blind. Or she so deceptive.” He shrugged. “Life is one big, long lesson. All I want for you is to get your feet under you again.”
She’d been in his house for four days. During that time he’d seen her moods swing wildly. Hardly surprising with all that she had to absorb. He didn’t remember her emotions bouncing around like this, so he didn’t think it was her usual state. No, this resulted from too many shocks too quickly.
“I’m very attracted to you,” he told her. “I want to get to know you a whole lot better. But I also want to see you comfortable in your own skin again. Fair enough?”
She nodded slowly. “I’m trying to get there.”
“Just a bit at a time,” he said. “You’ve got a lot to deal with, and it’s not all going away overnight.”
Chapter Eight
Morning sickness kept Amber at home the next morning. Wyatt had family court, and she’d wanted to see him in action, but not even crackers would settle her stomach enough to make her feel safe about going out.
Regretfully, she watched him drive off, then ran to the bathroom again, fearing the crackers were about to be lost. She sat on the stool in the powder room while cold sweat beaded her brow and her stomach churned, but she held her food down and eventually felt well enough to head for the kitchen and think about eating a few more crackers.
By lunchtime, just before she expected to see Wyatt’s return, the doorbell rang. He hadn’t said anyone might be stopping by, but she hesitated only a moment before going to answer it. He might be expecting a delivery.
She opened the heavy door with its stained-glass inset to see two very drab-looking women standing there. She blinked, wondering if they’d stepped out of a black-and-white movie—there wasn’t a hint of color about them, their hair drawn severely back under old-fashioned hats with net that covered the tops of their faces. Their coats were just as drab, gray wool, fully buttoned up. Their dresses reached well below their knees and their feet were shod in sensible black oxfords. They might have come from another era.
“May I help you?” she asked.
“We’re here to help you,” said the older of the two women, her face stern.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t need help.”
“You do,” said the older woman, stabbing her finger at Amber. “Living in sin with Judge Carter, not even married and carrying his child!”
“It’s not his...” Amber began, her first impulse to protect Wyatt, even as a sense of unreality began to overtake her. Surely she had become unmoored in time.
“Lying, too,” remarked the younger woman. “But it’s not too late. Come with us. We’ll help you find your way again.”
Amber didn’t care if she was rude. She closed the door in their faces.
What in the world?
Heavens, that had left her shaking. Unreal. Not like her to be so slow to react, but she soon forgot her nausea and trembling as anger replaced her initial reaction. Was that what they were saying about Wyatt around here?
She needed to leave. Now. He had that election coming up and if people were talking this way... The urge to run was almost overwhelming. She didn’t want to harm Wyatt, no matter how unconcerned he’d seemed about it. Living in sin? She supposed some people still thought that way, but how many of them were around here, and how could that affect Wyatt?
He’d been kind enough to take her in, now she had to be kind enough to leave. It didn’t matter where she went. The only thing that mattered was that she not mess up his life as well.
She had her foot on the bottom stair, prepared to pack and leave quickly, when she heard another knock on the door. If it was those women again, she was going to give them a piece of her mind. Her chin set with determination, the surprise that had kept her from responding before now gone, she marched back to the door and flung it open, ready to do battle.
It was Earl. “I see Wyatt’s not home yet,” he said cheerfully. “Mind if I come in, Amber?”
Her anger deflated instantly, and she felt her stomach roll over again. “Not at all.” She tried to smile.
After he crossed the threshold and closed the door, he peered at her. “What’s wrong?”
Like his son, he seemed to miss little.
“I had some visitors. They weren’t very pleasant.” She could talk to Earl, she realized. She knew he would be concerned about Wyatt’s position as judge. He’d already offered to get out in front of rumors. Yes, she had to tell him.
“I didn’t make coffee,” she said frankly. “Too nauseated.”
“I’m not surprised. My Beth had the morning sickness something bad. Well, come on, I can do with a beer as well as coffee.”
He urged her into the kitchen and made her sit at the table. “Maybe not beer,” he said, eyeing her face. “Might not smell good to you right now. Can you ea
t anything?”
“I was considering more crackers.”
So Earl brought her the box of crackers and a plate and started a pot of coffee going. She liked him, just as she liked his son.
“So tell me about it,” he said as he joined her at the table. “It must have upset you.”
“Mostly for Wyatt’s sake. These two women in very drab clothes...”
“Say no more,” Earl interrupted. “I know them. I know the whole lot of them. Followers of Fred Loftis, who unfortunately owns our only pharmacy or I suspect he and his would have been ridden out of town a long while ago. Anyway, you don’t need to worry about them. I’ll see that they don’t bother you again.”
“I’m not worried about me,” she said vehemently. “It was what they implied. I don’t want to cost Wyatt his retention.”
Earl sighed, rose and went to get a cup of coffee for himself. “Are you thirsty?”
“Water, please.”
He brought both drinks to the table. “Wyatt told you he’s not worried, right?”
“Of course. But should he be?”
Earl smiled. “Not about that lot. Judgmental bunch, and hardly anyone can stand them. You might give old Loftis an excuse to spout fire and brimstone for a few Sundays. And if you need anything from the pharmacy, send me to get it, because old Fred’s not famous for keeping his yap shut. But put them out of your mind.”
Wyatt walked in just then. As usual, he’d worn jeans and a gray sweater to court. Amber was surprised she hadn’t heard him enter the house. “Put who out of her mind?” he asked.
“A couple of Loftis’s women showed up here and upset Amber. I’ll deal with them. They won’t come round again.”
Wyatt’s face darkened. “They’d better not, or they’ll be dealing with me.”
“Trespass,” Earl said. “I’ll warn ’em. Then I might even enjoy watching you have them arrested.”
At that the cloud passed from Wyatt’s face and he laughed. “That would be a pleasure.” He joined them at the table with a mug of coffee and reached out to lay his hand over Amber’s. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of them for you.”