MOTHER: A Novel

by Angel Gelique

  Jane was relieved that Emma had given up the fight so easily. She hoped that Emma would just keep quiet during the ride to school. Fortunately, the high school was only ten minutes away. Yet, Jane knew Emma could make a ten minute trip feel like years in hell. She hoped for the best.

  Jane grabbed her trench coat and opened the front door. Emma stormed past her and waited by the car. Jane clicked the button on her car remote and unlocked the doors. Emma quickly entered the car, slamming the door shut. Jane said a quick prayer as she entered the car.

  The car ride was surprisingly pleasant—or at least as pleasant as a

  car ride with an angry, silent, balled-fisted teenager who hated your guts could be. Emma sat quietly, staring out of the window the whole way. When Jane pulled up to the school, she unfastened her seatbelt and left the car without uttering a word to or looking back at

  Jane. She slammed the door shut and walked toward the school. Jane waited and watched to make sure that she actually entered the building. Then she sped off. She didn’t need to be late for work.

  Jane’s boss Brian was at her desk when she arrived a few minutes late for work. Of all the days, Jane thought. She was always on time for work, and Brian was rarely around these days. Now, of course, when she was running late, Brian was waiting to greet her with a scowl on his face. What luck.

  “You’re late,” he said flatly.

  “Traffic,” Jane replied, equally emotionless. She walked passed him, took her jacket off and hung it on the coat rack behind her desk, then sat down. She looked up at Brian who stared at her silently. Her anxiety began to increase and she thought for sure that Brian was about to fire her. Why else would he be there. It was clear that something was on his mind.

  “I need you to come in tomorrow,” he said dryly.

  Tomorrow was Emma’s birthday. Jane had requested the day off several weeks ago and Brian had approved her request.

  “What? But I...you said I could—”

  “I know I said you could take the day off, but Fran was supposed to cover you and she can’t now.”

  “Why not?” Jane asked anxiously.

  “Her daughter had the baby early.”

  “It’s my daughter’s birthday,” Jane appealed.

  “It will still be your daughter’s birthday when you get home from work, won’t it?” Brian asked viciously.

  “But I made prior arrangements,” Jane replied, trying not to sound too argumentative, though she was furious.

  “You like your job don’t you?” he threatened.

  “Not as much as I used to,” she responded. Jane was tired of being bullied. She was determined to stay strong and stand her ground, just as she had done earlier with Emma. Brian looked shocked by her reply. She had never defied him before.

  “I need you here tomorrow,” he said in a low, firm, serious voice.

  “I’m very sorry, but I have the day off,” Jane said, as Brian’s face grew visibly red with anger. “I can work in the morning, if you’d like, but I’ll have to leave by noon,” Jane added.

  Brian stood there dumbfounded, shaking his head slowly. Jane had a feeling that he was going to fire her on the spot, but she no longer cared. She turned her attention to some files on her desk.

  “Let me know before I leave if you’d like me to work until noon tomorrow,” she said, dismissing him.

  Brian was speechless. He had expected her to cry and whine about it, but ultimately give in and agree to work on her day off. He was outraged at her insubordination, but at the same time impressed by her tenacity. He walked away from her desk silently, with greater respect for her than he had ever had before.

  For once, Jane was content with herself. It made her day that much better. At lunchtime, she even called Eric, just to say hello and to let him know that she was thinking of him. She left a message to that effect on his voicemail. She nibbled on the leftover barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes that she had heated up in the office microwave. It tasted good, but she still hadn’t had much of an appetite. She just wanted to keep a little food in her stomach.

  Her stomach still hurt constantly, but she had grown used to it. She ate antacids like candy, finishing off a roll that she had on her desk. It seemed to help a little. She remembered that she had to make an appointment with her doctor. She was long overdue for a checkup anyhow. As she reached for the phone, it rang. It was Zachary.

  “How’s it going?” he asked cheerfully. It was great to hear his voice.

  “Really good…today anyway…for now,” Jane said with a smile.

  “I’m glad to hear it. I’ve been worrying about you. I meant to call yesterday but didn’t get a chance.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve been okay. How are things there? How’s

  Colleen?”

  “Upset, but she’s coping,” Zachary answered. “We’ll be flying back tonight, so I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  “Maybe. I’m supposed to have the day off but Brian asked me to work. I told him I could come in the morning and leave at noon, but he didn’t reply. Maybe he’ll just fire me.”

  “Don’t say that, the office would be miserable without you,”

  Zachary said softly.

  “I don’t really care much anymore, all I know is that I won’t be here tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Well I hope Brian doesn’t do anything stupid, I’d have to beat him up,” Zachary joked.

  “I’d come in just to watch that!” Jane replied, chuckling.

  “How’d it go with your photographer friend?” Zachary asked, on a more serious note.

  Jane nearly shuddered when she thought of that disaster of a night.

  “Oh my God, it was awful, absolutely awful!” she stressed.

  “Oh no, what did he do?” Zachary was genuinely concerned. He hoped Jane wasn’t heartbroken, though she sounded all right.

  “It wasn’t just him, it was everything! I stopped off at the store on my way home and left my debit card behind and only realized it after I tried to pay for a bottle of wine and didn’t have enough cash on me. I felt so overwhelmed, I was running late, I got sick—literally—made a huge mess all over the guy’s register, you should have seen his face....”

  “Oh, Jane...” Zachary said, sympathetically, as she continued.

  “So I go back to the store to get my card, which no one can locate, of course. I look and smell horrible as I head home, stuck in heavy traffic, freaking out knowing that there’s no way I’ll be home in time. When I get home, Eric’s car is in the driveway...he’s inside the house...with Emma....”

  Jane could hear Zachary inhale deeply, anticipating the disaster.

  “I run in looking worse than something the cat coughed up, and smelling like puke, I nearly knock Eric over. He looked at me in disbelief—he looked horrified! I totally break down in front of him, crying about everything and Emma’s in the next room yelling for me to shut up, Eric can’t take it, he just leaves....”

  “What a prick,” Zachary breathed under his breath.

  “No, he was just overwhelmed. So anyway, I go into the kitchen to get a glass of milk and there’s a garbage bag in the middle of the room full of food from my refrigerator and pantry that Emma threw out so that I wouldn’t get any fatter....”

  Zachary gasped. “That—”

  He held his tongue. He didn’t want to upset Jane by calling

  Emma a bitch, even if there were stronger words that would describe

  her better. He listened intently.

  “So I have some words with Emma before going upstairs to take a much needed shower. When I enter my room, there’s glass all over the floor. Emma broke my laptop and my favorite picture frame. I just took a shower and went to bed,” Jane said, not quite able to laugh about it yet, although perhaps one day she might.

  “I’m so sorry, Janey, you should have called me,” he said warmly.

  “I wouldn’t bother you with such nonsense. My brain sort of just shut down anyway,” Jane replied.

&n
bsp; “I know it’s still a sore subject, but Janey, you really need to do something about that girl,” Zachary said.

  “I know,” Jane admitted “I’m so worried about her. The other night she looked so skinny and sickly. I don’t think she’s been eating and sleeping well.”

  “I meant her attitude,” Zachary said, more concerned about that than her physical well-being.

  “I know, that too,” Jane said with a sigh.

  Zachary could tell she was at her wit’s end with Emma. He wished he could offer some good advice, but he was clueless. He didn’t know what he would do if he had a daughter like that. Probably ship her off to a convent somewhere.

  “I was proud of myself this morning though,” Jane said lightheartedly.

  “What happened this morning?”

  “Turns out Emma’s been skipping school. I threatened to call the cops and have them escort her to school if she didn’t let me drive her. She was up, dressed and ready to go on time,” Jane said proudly.

  “Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment! Well done!”

  “It felt really good to stand up to her, and to Brian too, when he tried insisting that I work tomorrow.”

  “I’m proud of you Jane, see, you just need your confidence back,” Zachary said. He was glad that she was starting to regain her strength again.

  “Thanks, Zach, it’s so great to talk to you.”

  “We’ll talk again soon. I’ll call you at home if I don’t see you at work tomorrow,” he promised.

  “Okay, Zach, have a safe trip back.”

  “Thanks, Jane...stay strong.”

  Jane felt better than she had in months. Zachary was not just like a brother to her, he was like a therapist. Relaying all the events from Monday night somehow made them seem less dreadful. No, she certainly could not laugh about it yet, but she was sure one day she may just forget about it...well, at least forgive Emma.

  Emma had the exact opposite thoughts about Jane at the moment. The day had been awful. No one spoke to her. They all treated her like she had the plague. They wouldn’t even look at her, except Marcy who sneered and rolled her eyes. She heard snickering and laugher from all around her. She just knew that everyone was talking about her and making fun of her. So she did the easiest thing, the thing that came so naturally to her—she transformed all of her hurt into hatred toward Jane. Jane had ruined her life completely. She would never, never forgive her.

  Emma rode the school bus home, something she only did when she wasn’t going to one of her friends’ home or hanging out with them at the mall. It seemed like ages since she had last rode the bus and she was none too happy about it. The driver was a creepy man that reminded her of Peewee Herman. She had no doubt in her mind that he liked little girls, and not in a harmless way. She made sure to stay clear of him. She couldn’t wait to get home and call her father.

  The minute Emma entered the house, she threw her backpack on the floor in the foyer and ran to the closest phone—the one in the kitchen. Her father’s phone number came up when she pressed “redial” and she waited to hear the secretary’s deep, hoarse voice. Instead, she heard the deep voice of a man.

  “Dad?” she asked awkwardly.

  “Emma?” Gregory asked.

  “God, it’s about time!” she exclaimed, happy to finally connect with her father.

  “Is everything all right? I got your messages but didn’t have a way to reach you,” he said worriedly.

  “That’s because stupid Jane disconnected my phone,” she said bitterly.

  “Stupid Jane? Are you talking about your mother?”

  “I’m talking about that fat woman you left, I totally understand why now. She’s a monster Dad, she’s ruining my life.”

  “Emma, you can’t talk about your mother like that, what’s going on between you two?”

  “She hates me. She ruined my party, turned my friends against me, she only cares about herself and her new boyfriend,” Emma said, and Gregory could hear that she was crying. Oddly enough, he felt pangs of jealousy hearing that Jane had a new boyfriend, though he had no idea why.

  “Your mom has a boyfriend?” he asked coyly.

  “Yeah, whatever, the point is I can’t live here anymore,” Emma said, letting out a deep, labored sigh.

  “Don’t be silly, Emma. Your mother loves you more than the world,” Gregory said truthfully.

  “I hate Jane, she’s a fat loser and I don’t want to live with her anymore.”

  “Emma, why do you keep calling your mother Jane? I hope you don’t call her that to her face,” Gregory said soberly.

  “She doesn’t care. Listen Dad, I want to move in with you,” Emma blurted out.

  Gregory felt like he’d been hit with a sack of bricks. He loved Emma, sure, would do almost anything for her, but he couldn’t let his teen-aged daughter move in with him and Sue.

  “That’s not possible,” he said, bracing himself for a difficult, awkward debate.

  “Why not?” Emma whined. She felt crushed.

  “It’s complicated,” Gregory said, knowing he’d have to get into more details than that.

  “That’s what you always say. I’m sixteen now, I’m mature enough to level with.”

  “You’re right, Emma, I need to be open and honest with you,” he said.

  “Please Daddy, I don’t want to live with Jane,” Emma whimpered.

  So much for mature, Gregory thought. He was more annoyed by her whining than moved by her sadness.

  “Listen Emma, our lives are different now. You live with your mom and I live with my girlfriend,” he said slowly.

  “You have a girlfriend?” Emma asked.

  Based upon her matter-of-fact tone, Gregory couldn’t tell if it was something that was upsetting to Emma. Either way, it was about

  time she knew and she would just have to accept it.

  “I do, her name is Sue,” Gregory said, looking down at his watch.

  He was meeting Heidi, his latest blonde interest, in about ten minutes.

  Emma was curious about Sue.

  “Is she pretty?” she asked, sounding child-like.

  “She’s gorgeous,” Gregory said honestly. Sue was beautiful, he had just grown bored with her.

  “What does she look like?”

  “She has blonde hair, blue eyes, she’s tall and she has a beautiful smile.”

  “I bet she’s skinny,” Emma said admiringly. “Who wants to be stuck with a fat person?”

  “Yes, she has a nice body too,” Gregory agreed, ignoring Emma’s latter comment.

  “Is she nice?” Emma asked, trying to imagine what her father’s girlfriend must be like. She envisioned a supermodel talking on a cell phone at the mall—her idea of someone “cool.”

  “She’s very sweet,” Gregory answered looking back at his watch. He didn’t have time to play twenty questions.

  “So she wouldn’t mind me living there with you,” Emma reasoned.

  “It’s not that easy,” Gregory said, beginning to lose his patience.

  “Why not? Doesn’t she like kids?”

  “Yes, it’s not that, Emma, it’s just not a good idea,” Gregory said hastily, regretting that he had answered the phone in the first place.

  “Why not, Dad? Why isn’t it a good idea?” Emma was sobbing again. She couldn’t help it. She felt rejected. She needed to know why.

  “Emma, you’re sixteen now, you’re practically all grown up. In a few years you’ll be off to college. You need to stay with your mom. She loves and needs you.”

  “I hate it here,” Emma cried, “I hate Jane, I want to live with you, please Dad, pleeeaaasssee....”

  Emma begged her father between choked sobs. Gregory grew increasingly annoyed. He didn’t have time for this.

  “Listen Emma, you have a little sister, her name is Katie, Sue is busy caring for our daughter...we just can’t take care of you right now,” he said straightforwardly.

  Emma was taken aback. For a moment she said nothing. Even
her whimpering quieted.

  “A…a sister?” she asked, just to make sure she heard correctly.

  “Yes, her name’s Katie. You know how much work little ones are. We wouldn’t be able to give you the attention you need,” Gregory responded, hoping Emma would accept his explanation without further fuss or questions.

  “I can help take care of her,” Emma offered.

  Gregory rolled his eyes. The last shred of his patience was gone.

  “No Emma,” he said firmly. “You need to live with your mother. Now I have to get back to work.”

  Emma was hysterically crying now. She didn’t in her wildest dreams expect her father to say no to her. She thought he would welcome her into his new home with open arms. Not only did he reject her, but he bombed her with unexpected, shocking news.

  “Please, Daddy,” Emma begged, praying that he would change his mind.

  “We’ll talk soon, Emma, gotta run,” Gregory said coldly, and hung up.

  “Daddy? Daddy?” Emma yelled into the dead line. She returned the phone to its cradle and sauntered into the living room, where she curled up on the couch, crying softly. She had never before felt so sad. Her life was now officially hopeless.

  Before long, Jane returned home. Emma was still on the couch.

  She had fallen asleep crying. She didn’t even hear Jane enter. Jane noticed her on her way upstairs. She was glad that Emma was home.

  Prior to this past week, Emma had spent way too much time outside of the home and with her friends. Not that they would be sharing any quality time together. She knew Emma still hated her. But it was nice having her home nonetheless.

  Jane was also glad to see Emma resting. It gave her peace of mind to know that Emma was eating and resting properly again. Even from the stairs, Jane could see how thin and frail Emma looked. She had the mouth of a truck driver, but the delicate body of a child still. More than anything, she wanted to walk back downstairs and plant a soft kiss on Emma’s cheek, but she knew how Emma would react if she awoke while she was doing so. Jane would probably end up leaving with a blackened eye. So instead she continued walking upstairs to her bedroom to change out of her work