She Painted Her Face

by Dornford Yates

  “Don’t,” screamed Herrick. “How dare you? When you apologize, I want to kick myself and burst into tears. If you must wear your sheep’s skin, do: we all know it comes off. But for you to bleat is indecent… Oh, yes, I can see you laughing, but that’s because you don’t understand. We’re cast in two different moulds. We come, I see, you conquer – I can’t put it better than that. And I warn you, my simple serpent, I’m not going to let you go. You may take a Duchess’ name and marry the Countess of Brief, but I knew you before they did and I’m not going to give them place. And when I change my name, as one day I shall – it’ll mean that you’ll have three houses, instead of two.”

  And there you have John Herrick, sterling, efficient, adroit, with a glorious sense of humour and the heart of a little child. His way with all was wonderful. Duchess, steward and scullion – he was at ease with the lot; and they with him. What is more, he inspired affection. It gave him pleasure to make his neighbours glad: and his neighbours recognized this and thanked God for such a man. Upon what I owe him myself, I will not insist, for I think these pages have shown that, but for his present help, I could have done nothing at all and Elizabeth must have been broken and Percy Virgil succeeded to her estate.

  To three others I must pay tribute before I end this tale – for I shall leave it at Raven, which was for me journey’s end.

  Winter is still in my service, but soon will leave it to marry Brenda Revoke. I often think that his was a trying office, for all the time he stood upon the edge of the fray. No vengeance was his, and three times he missed the battle for which he longed. He knew too much or too little from first to last, and yet he never complained, but kept his eyes upon his duty and did it with all his heart. No servant was ever more faithful or gave a fuller measure than Winter did, and it gives me lasting pleasure to think that to some extent he found his fortune with me – for Brenda will make a fine wife and Raven is his idea of heaven on earth.

  Of Elizabeth, what can I say? I think there is no one like her, but that is natural enough. Still, Herrick is a fair critic and the Duchess is hard to please. And both of them commend her. Of course, she has her faults: but I am thankful for these, for otherwise she would be too good to be true. Her beautiful features have lost their wistful look, and a gaiety, long confined, is now at large to leaven her dignity: but her ways are as gracious as ever, her gaze is as level, her shining head is as high, and, though I know her so well, I never can lose the impression that she in fact belongs to the age of chivalry, for she has in fee the haunting, fabulous beauty of ballad and story-book, and she never seems to notice that, wheresoever she goes, she always receives a duty which is not accorded to others because it is not inspired. ‘Was this the face that launch’d a thousand ships?’ I sometimes think that it was. Though God knows I am no Paris… Perhaps Menelaus was burly, and could not tell ‘judgment’ from ‘instinct’, and went with scales on his eyes. In any event he set great store by his wife…

  And as, when a play is over, the most illustrious player stands last and alone upon the stage, the latest to figure here must be Harriet Vincentia Saying, Duchess of Whelp.

  Till the first day I stood before her, lying abed, I never had comprehended what personality meant – that indefinable presence which needs no help of the body to make itself felt. And then I knew…because I was immediately subject to something far greater than me. Had she taken no action and never opened her mouth, that sense of subjection must nevertheless have endured, because her spirit ruled mine from the moment I entered her room. It was the same with us all. High and low went down before her, as grass goes down before the scythe, and I can think of no one who could today stand up and meet her on equal ground. Proud and strong and fearless, keen-witted, humorous, wise – above all, full of that ‘drive’ that made a Conqueror out of a tanner’s stock, she moved upon a plane that others sometimes climb to – and find the air too rare for their physique. And so she came down…for us. The fine, old eagle came down… and showed us her royal heart. I use the word advisably. Royal is as royal does: and the Duchess of Whelp does royally, because, I believe, she knows no other way.

  That I cannot compute what I owe her is natural enough. There are some debts before which arithmetic pales. For one thing only, I owe her Elizabeth’s life: for, had she not seen and shown me the deadly peril in which, whilst Virgil lived, my darling must be, I should never have gone to keep watch on the turret-stair. Then, again, it was she that had me into the castle and gave me the chance of doing whatever I did.

  Unearthly shrewd – and swift to act upon her shrewdness, handling men and women as a horsemaster handles a horse, filling the weaker vessel with the virtue that ran in her veins, kind and understanding and generous, using us pygmies as equals, yet asking far less of us than she did of herself – from the hour that we called upon her she was the driving force behind all we did.

  Though now there is no more to be done, our allegiance persists…

  ‘Tracery is her wash-pot; over Brief hath she cast out her shoe.’

  The mot, which is Herrick’s, is juste.

  And we are as proud as content, because there is only one ‘Old Harry the Great’.

  Introductory Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. The Brother of Daphne 1914

  2. The Courts of Idleness 1920

  Bertram ‘Berry’ Pleydell Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. Berry and Co 1921

  2. Jonah and Co 1922

  3. Adèle and Co 1931

  4. And Berry Came Too 1936

  5. The House that Berry Built 1945

  6. The Berry Scene 1947

  7. As Berry and I were Saying 1952

  8. B-Berry and I Look Back 1958

  Richard Chandos & Colleagues Titles

  (in order of first publication)

  These titles can be read as a series, or randomly as standalone novels

  1. Blind Corner 1927

  2. Perishable Goods 1928

  3. Blood Royal 1929

  4. Fire Below alt: By Royal Command 1930

  5. She Fell Among Thieves 1935

  6. An Eye for a Tooth 1943

  7. Red in the Morning alt: Were Death Denied 1946

  8. Cost Price alt: The Laughing Bacchante 1949

  Other Novels

  (in order of first publication)

  1. She Painted Her Face 1937

  2. Gale Warning 1939

  3. Ne’er-Do-Well 1954

  Synopses of Yates’ Titles

  Published by House of Stratus

  Adèle & Co

  This is the first full-length novel featuring Yates’ finest comic creation, Bertram ‘Berry’ Pleydell. The popular character of Adéle is based on the author’s first wife, Bettine, a highly gregarious American dancer and actress. Written in response to massive public demand for the Berry stories, this is regarded as one of Yates’ best books. Amongst the madcap escapades of the Pleydell clan as they career about the French countryside you will find ‘crime, criminals, and some of the funniest writing in the English language’.

  And Berry Came Too

  Eight stories in which we encounter ‘the hair-raising adventures and idiotic situations of the Pleydell family’ (Punch). Along with John Buchan and ‘Sapper’, Yates dominated the adventure book market of the inter-war years, and Berry is regarded as one of British comic writing’s finest creations, including Tom Sharpe amongst his fans. Read these and weep (with laughter).

  As Berry & I Were Saying

  Reprinted four times in three months, this semi-autobiographical novel is a humorous account of the author’s hazardous experiences in France, at the end of the World War II. Darker and less frivolous than some of Yates’ earlier books, he describes it as ‘really my own memoir put into the mouths of Berry
and Boy’, and at the time of publication it already had a nostalgic feel. A great hit with the public and a ‘scrapbook of the Edwardian age as it was seen by the upper-middle classes’.

  B-Berry & I Look Back

  This is Yates’ final book, a semi-autobiographical novel spanning a lifetime of events from the sinking of the Titanic to the notorious Tichborne murder case. It opens with Berry, one of British comic writing’s finest creations, at his funniest, and is a companion volume to As Berry and I Were Saying. Pure, vintageYates.

  Berry & Co

  This collection of short stories featuring ‘Berry’ Pleydell and his chaotic entourage established Dornford Yates’ reputation as one of the best comic writers in a generation, and made him hugely popular. The German caricatures in the book carried such a sting that when France was invaded in 1939 Yates, who was living near the Pyrenées, was put on the wanted list and had to flee.

  The Berry Scene

  These stories, written by huge popular demand, give us classic Berry Pleydell – Yates’ finest comic character – at the top of his form. The first story sees Berry capturing a German spy at a village cricket match in 1914, and things get more bizarre from then on. A self-consciously nostalgic work harking back to more decorous days, here are tense plotting and high farce of the best kind.

  Blind Corner

  This is Yates’ first thriller: a tautly plotted page-turner featuring the crime-busting adventures of suave Richard Chandos. Chandos is thrown out of Oxford for ‘beating up some Communists’, and on return from vacation in Biarritz he witnesses a murder. Teaming up at his London club with friend Jonathan Mansel, a stratagem is devised to catch the killer. The novel has compelling sequels: Blood Royal, An Eye For a Tooth, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Blood Royal

  At his chivalrous, rakish best in a story of mistaken identity, kidnapping, and old-world romance, Richard Chandos takes us on a romp through Europe in the company of a host of unforgettable characters. This fine thriller can be read alone or as part of a series with Blind Corner, An Eye For a Tooth, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Brother of Daphne

  Daphne is ‘well-born, elegant, beautiful, and not especially bright’. In this, Yates’ earliest collection of stories, we meet the Pleydell clan and encounter their high-spirited comic adventures. It is a world of Edwardian gentility and accomplished farce that brought the author instant fame when the stories appeared in Windsor Magazine.

  Cost Price

  A story from Dornford Yates’ later career, of stolen treasure, set against a backdrop of World War II: adventure, a travelling circus and much more besides. Lots of favourite Yates characters are here, as well as some new ones, like the Portuguese mule in trousers, and a few striking villains. This is the legendary Chandos’ final fictional appearance. A tense, assured plot and vintage comedy from a master of the genre.

  Courts of Idleness

  These comic stories are set during World War I and the period just after, when the genteel world of Edwardian England had changed beyond recognition. One of Yates’ earliest books, it harks back to that more decorous, decadent time, and we encounter the madcap adventures of a group of well-to-do young people as they career across Europe from Madeira to Macedonia fighting heinous villains and solving mysteries.

  Eye for a Tooth

  On the way home from Germany after having captured Axel the Red’s treasure, dapper Jonathan Mansel happens upon a corpse in the road, that of an Englishman. There ensues a gripping tale of adventure and vengeance of a rather gentlemanly kind. On publication this novel was such a hit that it was reprinted six times in its first year, and assured Yates’ huge popularity. A classic Richard Chandos thriller, which can be read alone or as part of a series including Blind Corner, Blood Royal, Fire Below and Perishable Goods.

  Fire Below

  Richard Chandos makes a welcome return in this classic adventure story. Suave and decadent, he leads his friends into forbidden territory to rescue a kidnapped (and very attractive) young widow. Yates gives us a highly dramatic, almost operatic, plot and unforgettably vivid characters. A tale in the traditional mould, and a companion novel to Blind Corner, Blood Royal Perishable Goods and An Eye For A Tooth.

  Gale Warning

  Jonathan Mansel, one of Dornford Yates’ most popular characters, heads a small private organisation dedicated to the detection of serious crime ‘by methods sadly unavailable to the regular police’. An aristocratic member of his team is murdered and the avengers set out in pursuit of the killer, in a tale of ‘violence and a measure of sublimated sex’. Caricatured villains, a page-turning plot and some good jokes – in short, classic Yates.

  House That Berry Built

  A comic romp featuring the famous ‘Berry’ Pleydell and based on Yates’ own experience of building a house for himself in the Pyrenées – sumptuous, expensive and idyllically located. The house was seized by the Germans during World War II, and this tale, written soon afterwards, gives a hilarious account of its construction and early life. Yates at the peak of his form.

  Jonah & Co

  These are some of Yates’ early short stories featuring the comic Pleydell clan, and on publication proved just a successful and popular as Berry and Co had been. They describe the chaotic journey of the young, well-to-do heroes as they cavort across France, and helped to establish Yates’ reputation as a master of humorous fiction.

  Ne’er Do Well

  This is Dornford Yates’ only ‘straight’ detective novel – it is an uncommon murder story set in a convent, and reveals Yates’ supreme talent for tension, strong characters and a page-turning plot. For traditional tale-telling at its finest, look no further.

  Perishable Goods

  Classic Yates, this novel featuring the suave Richard Chandos was reprinted three times within the first month of publication, was warmly received by the critics and served hugely to expand the author’s already large readership. Typically deft, pacey and amusing, it ‘contains every crime in the calendar and a heart-rending finale’ (A J Smithers). A companion novel to Blind Corner, Blood Royal, An Eye For A Tooth and Fire Below. Gripping stuff.

  Red In The Morning

  Set in France after the war amongst the beautiful landscapes of Biarritz, Pau and the Pyrenées, Yates’ favourite thriller hero Richard Chandos returns with Jonathan Mansel in a story of temptation, subterfuge, adventure and revenge. Regarded by many as Yates at the top of his form.

  She Fell Among Thieves

  A vintage thriller featuring the welcome return of Richard Chandos, dashing hero extraordinaire, who seeks to rescue a young girl who has been kidnapped and drugged by a sinister old woman in the mountains of the Pyrenées. A gripping read originally published in serial form, She Fell Among Thieves was a huge hit when it first appeared.

  She Painted Her Face

  A tautly written and exciting yarn published when Yates was at the height of his powers, this is a real potboiler of the very best kind – tension, cliffhangers, wit and pace. Both a thriller and a humorous romance, the book draws heavily on the author’s own (somewhat bitter) experiences. It gives an insight into Yates’ rather scabrous views – and is a great read.

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