A Child Changes Everything

by Stella MacLean

  Recalling Mason’s remarks about Anne Marie’s dilemma, Lisa didn’t want to discuss how her sister had ended up where she did. It was too nice a day, and Lisa wanted to spend every moment she could with Katie. She fervently believed that Anne Marie would be freed. And then she’d come for Katie—something Lisa had begun to dread. “Let’s have lunch, and then we’ll put Katie down for a nap.”

  A little later in Lisa’s bed, she lay quietly beside Katie, studying her niece’s sleeping form, from her tiny nose to the way her hands clutched her blanket. Everything about Katie thrilled her, from the squeals of delight over whatever held her attention, to the endearing look in her eyes as she climbed into Lisa’s lap seeking comfort.

  Listening to her even breathing and satisfied that she was asleep, Lisa eased from the bed only to hear Katie cry out as she reached her arms up to Lisa.

  “I want Mommy,” she cried, her body trembling. “I want Mommy.”

  Lisa gathered her in her arms, checking her forehead for any sign of fever. “You’ll see Mommy soon,” she whispered into her hair.

  “Where’s Mommy?” Katie asked as she began sucking her thumb while she hiccuped and snuggled closer to Lisa. “Bad dream.” She sniffled and rubbed her face into Lisa’s shoulder.

  She couldn’t bear to hear Katie cry for her mother, especially when there were no promises she could make. And what if Katie continued to cry? She hugged her tightly, smoothing the blond curls from her face.

  Hoping she’d gone back to sleep, she peeked at Katie’s face and was disappointed to see that the little girl’s eyes were wide-open, her expression watchful.

  “I won’t leave you,” she said, placing the blankets over the child and climbing in beside her again. Katie wriggled closer, warming Lisa where they touched—a warmth that relieved Lisa’s apprehensions. She closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet scent of the child’s skin, listening to Katie as she sucked her thumb. As she cradled Katie, she imagined how she’d feel if Katie were her daughter…

  Feeling a sense of loss she’d never experienced before, Lisa clung to the idea that she had a family who needed her. And the little person she held so close to her would require all the love and care she could offer while they waited for Anne Marie’s release.

  She refused to let her worries about whether she could look after Katie ruin this joy.

  EARLY THAT EVENING, Lisa put the phone down, her hands shaking as she tried to control her excitement. The nursing supervisor had called to tell her that the hospital wanted her to take over as head nurse of Pediatrics.

  “Mom, guess what?”

  “What?” her mother asked, wheeling her way out of the den toward the kitchen.

  “I just got offered the position of head nurse on Pediatrics. I never imagined I’d get the job. It took them so long to decide, and I was so nervous in the interview. It must have gone better than I thought, and I suppose they had a lot of applicants and red tape to go through.”

  “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” But now that the job was hers, she had misgivings. She’d never put herself out there like this before. There would be a lot of responsibility and scrutiny. Did she want it?

  “You and Mason will have a lot to celebrate when he gets here. What time did he say?”

  Lisa checked her watch, assessing her wrinkled pink shirt and blue jeans. “Oh! No! In five minutes, and I’m not ready. Not a bit of makeup. How bad do I look?”

  “You look lovely. Absolutely radiant. I love you, my darling daughter,” her mother said, maneuvering her chair over to the counter where Lisa stood.

  “I love you, too, Mom.” Still not accustomed to having a mother who expressed her emotions so easily, she leaned down and kissed her mother’s cheek. “A new mom, a new niece and now the possibility of a new job. Life doesn’t get much better than this.”

  “What would make it perfect would be Mason coming over here for some serious personal talk about the two of you,” her mother said.

  “No, I doubt that very much. Mason has a full life, and he’s simply helping out a friend.”

  “A mother can still dream,” she said, a smug look on her face.

  “Well, in the meantime, you relax and enjoy your self. When Mason comes, we’ll be out by the pool, and I’ll have the baby monitor with me in case Katie wakes up.”

  “I’ll be in the den if you need me.”

  The front doorbell chimed, and Lisa rushed to answer it. Through the side glass panels, she could see Mason standing there looking handsome in a sky-blue shirt and navy pants with a bottle of champagne resting in the crook of his arm.

  Could her mother be right? Did Mason want to try again? And if so, could they start over?

  She opened the door. Mason remained motionless for a moment, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

  “You’re the picture of happiness,” he murmured as he brought his arms around her.

  He felt good. He smelled good. But she wasn’t sure how to respond. Was the hug merely a friendly gesture? Or something more? Before she could move, he stepped back and held out the champagne.

  “This is your night. We’re going to celebrate.”

  “You have news, too?”

  For a moment he looked startled. “No. I wanted to surprise you with a bottle of bubbly to toast the new take-charge Lisa.”

  Now it was her turn to be startled. She had changed but she didn’t think he’d noticed. “Oh, thank you. I do feel like I’m headed in a different direction in my life. I have something exciting to tell you.”

  “You do?” he asked, following her to the kitchen. He took the ice bucket from the cupboard over the fridge, filled it with ice and put the bottle in. He did it all as naturally as if this were his kitchen…their kitchen.

  “You’re not going to believe this. Let’s go out by the pool. I’ll get the glasses.”

  “My kind of woman,” he kidded.

  They settled into the wrought-iron chairs with a small table separating them. The night air was warm with the scent of basil growing in the herb garden Alice had carefully maintained for years.

  Lisa waited while Mason poured two glasses, the bubbles as bright as her happiness. “A couple of months ago, I applied for a promotion as head nurse of Pediatrics. I just found out I got it!”

  “Congratulations!” He raised his glass. “To Lisa, the boss on Pediatrics.”

  “Though I haven’t said I’ll accept the position yet. I thought I wanted it but now I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  He lowered his glass. “Why not?”

  “I’ve really enjoyed nursing children, but—”

  “But what?” he asked, his features softened by the reflected light of the pool.

  “I still hear my mother’s voice in my head, and for better or worse, I’m listening.”

  “And that voice tells you to be cautious and circumspect, especially around children.”

  “That’s about it,” she said, feeling closer to Mason than she had in so long. She wanted to reach out to him, have him touch her skin. Instead, she clutched the stem of her champagne flute for the little support it offered.

  When he didn’t say anything, she nervously gulped her champagne, feeling the effects all the way to her toes.

  “Lisa, you’re one of the smartest, most determined people I’ve ever known. If you decide to take on this new position, you’ll make an excellent head nurse.”

  “And will that finally silence my mother’s voice?”

  He grinned. “Definitely.”

  But would it erase the memory, the fear, of that night with Linda Jean Bemrose? “I wish I was as sure as you are.”

  “Give yourself time. Take a chance. You’ve already taken a major one in your personal life, and look what it’s done for you.” His gaze moved over her face, to her lips and back to her eyes. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

  He edged toward her, the heat of his body mingling with hers. He was so close
, his lips so near. Would he kiss her? The soothing tone, the shimmering light from the pool and the heady effects of the champagne joined forces. “So much has happened…between us.”

  “Do you wish for more?” he asked.

  He wanted her, his eyes said so. Yet she couldn’t offer him more when her life was so unsettled. She leaned away from him. “I’m not sure,” she replied.

  He averted his gaze. His champagne flute clinked as it touched down on the table.

  She tried to explain. “I’ll admit there have been times, but you wanted the whole picture—children, the house, the supportive wife. However, my picture and yours weren’t the same. And it wasn’t just the issue of children. There were moments when it seemed like you’d taken over my life. I’m sure you meant well, but I felt trapped.”

  He poured more champagne for both of them. “Go on.”

  Taking a giant sip, she leaned across the table. “You expect things to happen your way. I grew up in a house where what my parents wanted usually came ahead of what I wanted, and I didn’t argue very often. So you see, I began to resent your advice, no matter how well-intentioned.”

  She hiccuped. No! She couldn’t be drunk! Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment.

  His expression solemn, he reached across the table and took her hand. “Lisa, if I could change only one thing in my life, it would be that night we broke up. By the time I realized what a mistake I’d made, it was too late. Yet being with you again recently has made me realize what I lost. You and I had a great thing, but I was so busy doing things my way, I ignored what you needed.”

  “We both made mistakes,” she conceded.

  “Lisa.” He shifted in his chair. “I had this plan for tonight. I wanted it to be a celebration of your success with your new family. And to apologize for doubting you.”

  “What’s that got to do with you and me, in the personal sense, I mean?” she asked, hopeful that they were going to talk about that night.

  He grimaced. “I had a phone call from Sara before I left. I’m guessing you’ve heard the rumors about her music career.”

  She nodded, a sick feeling swimming in her stomach.

  “It looks like she’ll be moving to L.A. Nothing’s signed yet, so there’s always a chance she won’t go. I’m not sure where that leaves me with regard to Peter,” he said, his voice trailing off.

  Was he seriously considering moving to L.A.? “What will you do?” she asked, easing her hand from his.

  “I’m not sure. I mean, I may have to rethink my life…change my plans, maybe. At this point, who knows?”

  She wanted to be there for him, to offer comfort. Having Katie in her life, she empathized with Mason. “Can I help?”

  “I wish you could. But I don’t know if I can live without Peter. L.A. is so far away. My visits with him would be quite limited if I don’t move. And then there’s us. I don’t want to leave you just when we’re getting closer to each other again. I’m torn.”

  She tried to say she felt the same way but the words wouldn’t leave her lips. They’d gotten closer, but not enough for her to risk another rejection. She’d wanted to explain why she’d reacted the way she had the night they’d broken up, to tell him how humiliated she’d been when he’d walked out. To say how cautious she had become after all her plans and dreams had been swept away so easily, so quickly. But given his news and the upheaval in her own life, she held back. She tucked her hands into her lap as tears blurred her vision.

  “Please don’t cry,” he said, his voice thick.

  If only she hadn’t drunk the champagne—her head was fuzzy. “You’d better leave. I don’t want Mom to see that I’m upset. She’ll worry,” she said, her chest hurting from the pressure of wanting to cry…in private.

  He lifted a hand to touch her hair.

  She moved away from him.

  In the dim light of the pool, his face held an intense look of sadness Lisa hadn’t seen before. “I’ll go out the back way so as not to upset your mom.”

  For a few minutes there was only the sound of the pool pump humming.

  HE WAITED FOR HER to say what he needed to hear—that she understood what he was going through. But he had no right to expect her to understand when he was so confused himself. He couldn’t face moving out west, leaving Lisa just when they were getting somewhere. He couldn’t grasp the idea of moving thousands of miles away to a strange city, starting over, in the hope of staying in daily contact with his son.

  On the other hand, he couldn’t see his life without Peter.

  There had to be a better way. He had to convince Sara that Peter was better off here with him and his family.

  He’d tried to talk to her about that, but she was totally preoccupied with her newfound success.

  His whole life was one big mix-up, but that wasn’t Lisa’s problem. He’d find a solution, and if it meant leaving Durham for L.A., well, he’d have to make the best of it. Leaving Peter was not an option.

  Until then, he had no business offering her anything but his friendship.

  “I’m going now.”

  She didn’t follow him to the door.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  FIGHTING TO KEEP her thoughts away from what Mason had said last night, Lisa sang along with her mother and Katie as they drove back from the appointment at the rehab center. Anything to quell the anxiety percolating in her stomach. “So, you had a good appointment with Dr. Morgan, Mom?”

  “I did. He’s marvelous. I feel so much better, and the therapy pool was wonderful,” Carolyn said, a look of appreciation in her eyes.

  “Our pool’s ready to go, and once the carpenter’s finished in the house, you’ll be able to live a pretty normal life,” Lisa said, pulling into the driveway.

  “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “There’s no need, Mom. Having you here is thanks enough.” Lisa picked Katie up and hugged her close, thankful that Katie was part of her life. How her feelings had changed since that day in the jail!

  Supporting Katie on one hip, she slipped the key into the lock in the back door.

  The sound of a car in the driveway caught her attention.

  “Thought I’d drop by and see how you ladies are doing,” Mason called out, striding toward them as if nothing had happened last night.

  His hair was damp and clinging to his neck, and his open shirt exposed the gold chain he always wore as he expertly helped Carolyn into her wheelchair and pushed her ahead of him toward the door.

  “We didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Lisa said, a questioning tone in her voice as he wheeled Carolyn up the ramp.

  He looked startled for a moment as he touched Lisa’s shoulder. “I couldn’t stay away.”

  She saw the warmth in his eyes. The air between them vibrated with emotion, and she felt like the only woman on earth.

  “Katie and I were about to play with the Barbie dolls we bought today,” she said to hide her reaction.

  “You’re going to spoil her,” Carolyn warned.

  Mason stepped back, holding the door for Lisa and her mother. “You sound more energetic today, Mrs. Lewis,” he said.

  “Call me Carolyn, please. Yes, I was pretty tired when you were here last night. I fell asleep before you left. Did you kids have a nice evening?” she asked as she wheeled into the sunroom.

  “Yes, we did,” Mason responded as he reached to take Katie from Lisa’s arms.

  She couldn’t help noticing how easily he fit into her family. And she couldn’t blame Katie and her mother for being happy to see him, but their happiness wouldn’t last if he decided to move to L.A.

  Yet having him standing there beside her smoothed away some of the tension that had knotted her neck all morning.

  She was brought back to the present when Katie began to squirm in Mason’s arms. “Down!” she called out, a mischievous grin on her face.

  “What do you want, kid?” he asked with a fake growl, lowering her to the carpet.

  Within minutes he was
on the floor with her, helping her undo the packaging of her new Barbie dolls. “Wow, someone’s been shopping,” he said, glancing up at Lisa.

  “Couldn’t resist.”

  “Who can?” They laughed together.

  She’d miss Mason if he decided to go. She’d miss his comfortable manner with children, the many times they’d laughed about the silliest things, the excitement of being near him.

  But most of all, even after last night, their stiffness around each other seemed to have evaporated. The old back-and-forth that had existed between them, the innate trust they shared, had resurfaced.

  Only now it was too late. She simply couldn’t see how Mason would be able to stay in Durham with his son on the West Coast.

  Which meant that he’d carefully choose a time to talk to her about his decision—before he walked out of her life.

  They chatted for a while as Mason sat on the floor of the sunroom, playing with Katie. With a squeal of enthusiasm, she plunked one of her Barbie dolls on Mason’s head.

  “Hey, kiddo, you could ruin my good looks.”

  “No!” Katie gave him another thump with her Barbie, this time on his shoulder.

  “Have you heard from Anne Marie’s lawyer?” he asked.

  “Not since our meeting, and I’m a little concerned. I was hoping he’d call with an update.”

  “These things take time.”

  “I’ll call him if I don’t hear anything in the next couple of days.”

  “So, what’s next for Ms. Katie?” Mason asked as he got up off the floor and sat down next to Lisa.

  “A bath. We stopped at the playground on the way home from Mom’s physio. I’ve got to put Katie in the tub, but you chat with Mom for a bit. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “Go with Aunt Lisa,” her mother said to Katie.

  “No bath. I want Mommy. I want Mommy!”

  Not again. “Katie, your mommy’s busy right now, but I’m sure she’ll call us as soon as she can,” Lisa said, her stomach tensing.

  “Tell you what, Katie. How about we play with the dolphin in the tub?” Mason suggested.

  “No bath.” She planted her little fists on her hips, suspicion furrowing her brows.