by C.L. Bunnell
live forever. One would wonder why that is.
Well—if we weren’t all morons.
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So time stood still, at least for awhile, but nothing lasts forever, and life goes on, so that’s exactly what it did. So here we are—and it was the above turn of events that had pulled a man by the name of: Major Samuel S. Brenan into General Colton’s office where he now sat. And he was nervous because rumors were floating around. And he looked down at his shaking hands. He could feel the sweat building on his brow, and it was about to start dripping down his cheek.
To wipe it away would show weakness, and with the President of The United States on the speaker phone, this wasn’t the time to be weak. Major Brennan looked at the General and listened, and he watched the lips of the General as he told him what his duty was. What his orders were and he thought he was going to be sick.
The President had thanked him for his service to his country. He told him he would be a Hero for stepping in where Spaceman Dan had left off. That from here on out, there would be no Spaceman Dan, there would only be Spaceman Sam.
Major Brenan really wished it was the other way around, that he was thanking the President for taking over where Spaceman had left off. But he didn’t think that would happen. The President was too old for starters and lacked the training. All the same, Brenan had to say something so here it goes: “I think this mission is suicide!” his voice cracked like a boy going through puberty.
“We’ve taken that into consideration,” the General replied. “The thing is, there’s a lot of money riding on this trip. So much so, that whether it can be done or not no longer matters. You see—Vegas has been on the phone—they’ve already burned a hole in the President’s ear. The bets have already been made and to not cash in would mean a severe cash flow problem. And they're too big to fail.”
“I thought that was the whole idea behind Capitalism? Nothing or no one is too big to fail?”
“It is, but not for them. They tried the whole Capitalism thing, and it turns out—it don’t make a lot of money. So unless you want the American taxpayers to bail em out again … you’ll get your ass in the Daisy Doughnut and fly it on out of here!”
“The General makes a good point,” the President chimed in. “You don’t have to be successful—no—we’re not saying that. You only have to try. Remember … there are no losers, only quitters!”
“But I’ll be killed!”
“Look,” General Colton said. “It’s not just Vegas … all right! There’s the cable company who has sold billions in pay per view so the public can see this monumental moment. Not to mention, there’s now ten thousand stickers planted on the Daisy Doughnut advertising everything from Cigarettes to bottled water. You know, in case there’s aliens on the planet …. Who knows. Maybe they’d be interested in doing business.”
“If we go to their planet, won’t we be the aliens?” Brenan asked.
“I’ll let the Native Americans explain that one to ya,” the President said. “But not until you return. There’s no time now since Spaceman Dan screwed us over!”
“But didn’t we screw him over?”
“No—I mean—personally I think the guy should have come clean about his past.”
“That’s true,” said the President. “The American people are forgiving, and empathic. And don’t forget our hero’s. Nor those who have fought for our freedom.”
“But it seems like all you guy’s in Washington do is slowly take those freedoms away.”
“Whoa! Now there may be some truth to that. But I said the American people! Let’s not get that confused. I said nothing about the one percenters or those who represent em!”
Brenan—desperate now, shook his head. “Look—all this sounds great for you and the others. But most likely I’ll be blown to pieces up straight off the launch pad. Surely they know that ... what could that be worth?”
“Beyond you life … billions …. Not sure what you want me to say?”
“But—why me?” His voice was now low and submissive.
“You’re the only one who stands a chance of fitting in the capsule.”
“Why not get Spaceman Dan back?”
“You mean Baby Karri?”
“Whatever—you found out he was a citizen after all—and you know he’s the best man for the job.”
“We may make mistakes—Major Brenan,” the General said. “But we don’t admit it—and you would be wise to remember that. Besides, whether he’s a citizen or not is a mere rumor, one put out by conspiracy theorist …. “
“My guess would be Lesbians,” the President said. “Sounds like something they’d do!”
“So what if I say no?” Asked Brenan.
“Well, you won’t be able to reenlist for one thing! I’ll tell ya that!”
“That’s what you’re gonna threatening me with …? You’re sending me to certain death, why would I care about reenlisting?”
“Did you hear that? The General asked.
“I heard it,” replied the President. “Sounded like broken English.”
“Perhaps you’re also from Libya. Would you like that? Be shipped to Libya? Hah? Maybe you and Baby Karri can start one of them WIKI pages and tell the world the truth. Go ahead! But mark my words … your life won’t be worth spit! Is that what ya want!”
“No.”
“Then go out a hero like a real man!”
“What about you—sir—aren’t you a hero? A real man?”
“I'm alive ain’t I?”
“Yeah.”
“Then do the math—moron!”
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So here we are--the day of departure has arrived … and the tent city once again covered the streets. And the carnival was fired up and running. The kids, all stood in line while holding small-red-tickets. And parents waited patiently at the steel fence that kept them away from danger—and they watched and prayed their child would return safely.
The carnies stood like Zombies while filterless cigarettes hung from their lower, dry lip. Their skin bled from fresh tattoos that were carved in the night before. Their hair—uncombed, greasy, and hung in clumps. And these men weren’t bad men. But they were as wild as a civilized person could be. And they would survive, right alongside the cockroaches after the sure-to-come nuclear fallout took out all others.
These people would be just fine.
And the parents—they now stood behind the steel fence and wondered why they placed their children’s safety in such calloused hands? They wondered when there would be a situation where they would think this to be all right? Nothing came to mind—and the children handed over their tickets—they ran and took a seat and waited for their new guardian angel to come and lower the bar that would keep them from falling to certain death.
Strange—but it’s been that way forever. And ninety-nine percent of the time—those children will be just fine. Because the people who would hurt them, aren’t working at the carnival. They’re the ones you’d least expect. The ones who position themselves so the parents can’t see, or hear them. Their part of the woodwork and sometimes the damage they do won’t be discovered until the child is long grown.
No sir, there’s no way of knowing who to fear, or who to trust. Who’s selling straight and who has a whole other agenda? And that’s what this story is really about. So let’s go on and finish it now that we know how Spaceman Sam was put in his place.
The People on this day of all days showed up by the thousands to watch the liftoff. Helicopters hovered above like seagulls feeding on fish.
Live bands played Bob Dylan songs. “Tangled Up in Blue,” rang out and echoed down the streets. The businesses closed and the owners set up booths and sold cold beer out front. It was a festival, a gathering and everyone felt at peace and ease.
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The President—well he sat in the Oval office, and he was upset as he learned just what the Confederate flag looked like. And even though he never had one, he had a Florida State flag that looked similar so Lenny said it had to go.
He learned the Holy men wouldn’t be prosecuted that there may be a God—so no money would be refunded.
He learned that although it was legal to marry his aid Lenny, he couldn’t do so in Kentucky because some bitch clerk refused to do her job. Now he wasn’t sure why he wanted to marry Lenny—wasn’t really that attracted to him. He really wasn’t sure why he wanted to marry in Kentucky, although it was pretty in the mountain … The truth was—he wasn’t sure why this even bothered him because all he knew about Kentucky was what he saw in the movie “Deliverance,” and those guys didn’t want to marry each other? Some butt play—sure—but there was no talk of taking the plunge!
He thought of asking Lenny about this, but Lenny sat silent and looked nervous—so the President thought it best to keep this to himself. At least for now.
As for General Colton—he was with Spaceman Sam (as he was now called) and they were on the scaffold and at the entry of the capsule.
Spaceman Sam had just opened the hatch and as expected—the smell took his breath away. He waited then looked around.
“There’s not enough room,” he said.
“Sure there is,” General Colton confidently replied.
Spaceman Sam—who had on his gear turned to leave, and although the public couldn’t listen to what they were saying, they could see