Past Lives

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  Everything would be just fine, she just knew that suddenly, as she laid there in a strange bed, but with the familiar shape of her beloved behind her, and the heaving, panting goat-man on top of her. She clutched him to her with all the love she felt for him, and he smiled at her, undoubtedly picking up her certainty of a happy end.

  He rested in her arms until his breathing was normal again and they were both ready to go to sleep, then he rolled to the side and they fell asleep in a tangle.

  Neither of them gave a single thought to the centuries old god in the body of a stunning young man, who laid in his bed at the end of the hall alone, awake, and who heard some of the sounds of their loving with a mixture of desire and sadness, and who was even more determined to prove his reliability to them, starting to see that sharing love with the same person was not always a bad thing.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning, Melissa awoke early, of course by Lukas kissing her, saying: 'I'm off for a run, or a swim, depends on the state of the paths, I'll be back in a bit over an hour.' Though there were no clocks in ancient Greece, Lukas seemed to have an uncanny sense of time, and Paul had brought his copper watch which seemed to run fine, Melissa couldn't wait to find out if time did indeed run differently here.

  She was too much awake to stay in bed, so she got up, dressed in another one of those flowing linen dresses, this time a light green colour, and she sat on the terrace. Ophius brought her a steaming drink, not coffee of course, they didn't have that yet in ancient Greece, nor tea, but a herbal mixture that approximated the taste of tea surprisingly well.

  She wished him a good morning, in accent-less Greek that still surprised her a little to hear come out of her own mouth, and he replied: 'And the same to you, mistress.

  The master told me you were used to a hot beverage in the morning, this is what I came up with that resembled your English tea the most, according to him.'

  Melissa was touched that Hermes had gone through such trouble to make them feel at home, and she said so. 'And could you please call me Melissa?

  Being called mistress makes me uncomfortable, I'm from a humble family.'

  Ophius nodded and replied: 'I will if it pleases you, Melissa,' quite pleased to find her so kind and unassuming. He had a great deal of love for the boy he had helped raise, and it eased his mind to know that he had finally found love with two such stable friends. He had observed them sharing love with extreme passion, sorting out a minor problem amongst themselves, they had clearly supported Lukas in his rise to power and they were keeping him connected to mortals. What more could a young man want?

  His master's slip of the heart yesterday had not escaped Ophius, nor had he missed the conversation in which Lykos had taken his father to task. It did not surprise Ophius that Hermes would fall in love with a young mortal, he

  had done that before, and this girl was very exotic in her looks and quite a character. And though never before had a girl ever resist his charms, it did not surprise him that Hermes persisted, either, he usually got what he wanted in the end.

  What did surprise him, was that his master had desisted from just making the girl fall hopelessly in love with him. He could, and he always had so far.

  The fact that Hermes was mooning over an unrequited love was the only surprise in the whole affair, and he would watch with interest how things would turn out.

  Ophius was very proud that Lykos had talked back to his father, and he did not doubt that his favourite would pack up and leave if Hermes so much as thought of turning his will to either the girl, or the young man of his choice.

  Having heard his master's account of his sufferings in the future world, Ophius did not doubt that Hermes had learned a lot, the hard way, and that he would not betray Lykos and his friends. But that wouldn't stop him, Ophius, from keeping a sharp eye and ear out for information, for he was not going to let the son suffer from the father's selfishness ever again.

  As Melissa sat on the terrace, enjoying the cool air for as long as it would last, she looked around in wonder and just couldn't believe she was really here. She could not imagine living here, it was way too quiet to her taste, and she really needed something to do, she could imagine Paul jumping on a chance to make a piece of jewellery for whomever, just to have something to do with his hands. She of course preferred to exercise her mind, and she would find a way to do just that.

  After maybe ten minutes she was joined by Hermes, who looked as young and as fresh as ever. He wanted to greet her all over again, and she indulged him, reminded of Lukas and his constant need for assertion of their love for him. He was cute, like a sleek, handsome tomcat, but still cute, and he smelled very nice, and she did not mind at all to embrace him and even spared him a few chaste kisses.

  'I'm sorry if I am too familiar,' she excused herself, 'you look so young and remind me so much of Lukas, that I find it hard to keep in mind that you're actually a god and centuries my senior.'

  He smiled beatifically and said: 'I like it when you treat me like a friend, I wouldn't spend loads of power to look like a young hunk if I wanted to be treated like an ages old god. Then I'd look like my father, Zeus. I'm not going

  to introduce you to him, he'd snap you up in a second, and leave Paul and Lykos to pick up the pieces, you'll just have to take my word for it.'

  He called Paul by his name, good, he was at least trying to see him as a person. Ophius brought his master a cup of steaming tea as well, and gave her a refill.

  'May I tell you how well that style of dress becomes you?' Hermes observed, 'you look like a goddess. Your appearance will hit the people here like lightning, they've never seen anyone with a light skin and copper coloured hair. Is Paul always a late sleeper?'

  Melissa nodded: 'If he gets the chance, yes.'

  'Good, I'll send a message through the mosaic to my staff and have them deliver a package for him before we leave for Ophelie's house. Gold or silver?'

  'You want my opinion on what a goddess likes?' Melissa asked.

  'Sure, she's a woman, you're a woman,' he said, 'anyway, I have my opinion too, I just want to know yours.'

  'Gold,' she said decidedly, 'personally I prefer copper, but most ladies like gold better. It makes them feel special.'

  'All right, and what else will Paul need? Sketches of dolphins, wax to make a mould?' Hermes asked.

  'I guess he'd make a mould in wax, several actually, the horses aren't all the same either. Then he'd melt the metal, cast the shapes one by one as many times as needed, finish them to a sheen, pull a thread from the metal to shape the connecting links out of, shape them, connect everything to form a necklace, shape the fastener.

  Making the wax moulds is the most work, but if he's going to use magic, who knows. Melting the metal is impossible without furnace, again, unless he uses magic. Tools to shape the wax, files, buffing sand, buffing cloth, clamps and pliers, a bag to carry everything in.'

  Meanwhile, Hermes had picked a flower from one of the bushes struggling to live on the cliff face, gesturing for Melissa to continue summing up the materials needed. When she had finished, he enumerated all the items she had mentioned to the flower, and as he did this, she could see him glow a tiny bit.

  Then he called for Ophius, handed him the flower with the instructions to take the flower through the mosaic to his steward, and tell him to deliver those materials within the hour. Melissa was stunned, to see magic used

  openly for the simplest task imaginable, a little list written on a slip of paper would have served just as well.

  Except: 'Don't you use paper?'

  Hermes looked at her in confusion for a moment, then remembered: 'Ah, paper, no we don't use it much, we have vellum, made of animal skins, but it's expensive and can get smelly. You'll see it when they deliver the sketches.

  I saw some paper at George's, great stuff, I loved it. But this works a lot faster.'

  After half an hour of conversation, Hermes seemed to decide something, and said: 'Melissa, Lykos and I had
rather a firm discussion yesterday evening, and you corrected me as well for not using Paul's name. I want you to know that I am sorry I concentrated my attentions on Lykos and you, and saw him as an afterthought, for I must admit I did at first, and I promise I will do better in the future.

  I will do my very best to ensure he has a good time here, and if your mission should turn out more dangerous than expected I will spend the same effort on protecting him as I will on you. And I will apologize to him and tell him what I just told you.'

  That was something Melissa was pleased to hear, and she told Hermes so.

  'Paul is truly my other half, I cannot live without him. He has little in common with you, having chosen to be a normal, hard-working citizen instead of a member of the elite he used to belong to, as powerful on our world as you are in yours.'

  'He did? He is an incredible artist, and a mage even on your magic-starved world. I should have spent more time getting to know him.' He seemed truly sorry, but it was not all his fault: 'That was not just you, Hermes, he did not welcome you in our lives either. He's very protective of us, and you did threaten Lykos rather pointedly.

  And you expected me to warm your bed, when I was just married to him in a bond meant to be exclusive. His accepting Lykos was a big miracle and the result of your son's boundless capacity to love.'

  'Lykos is somewhat of a miracle, he seemed totally without Gift, and completely mortal, and now he's a god with thousands of worshippers, within one day. With that nasty rumour doing the rounds.' That apparently bothered Hermes, someone slandering his deserving son, but Melissa thought that if Lukas had been of irreproachable behaviour, they wouldn't even have tried.

  Still, she had Ophius' insight on that: 'It is probable that the rumour got

  him the worshippers, everyone who ever loved him, physically or just because they met him, when they heard the rumour they thought of him with love.

  Without it, he might have been forgotten by most of them.'

  How did someone so young think of that? Hermes just couldn't believe it, though he had been a precocious child himself a very very long time ago.

  He didn't check his surprise, she was very smart as well as painfully beautiful, and she might as well see his reaction and feel the compliment in it.

  'That didn't occur to me at all, but hearing it I'm sure you're right, you do not only see right through physical things. I vaguely remember a man George said was your father. He was very powerful, even in the eyes of the god I still thought myself then, a great maelstrom of power that would have drained me to a husk in a second if I had taken him on when he challenged me. It explains a lot about you. How's George?'

  After setting him to rights about Ophius having deduced the effect of the rumour, she answered his question about George: 'You broke his heart when you left. Fortunately Lykos was there to patch it, and by the time we left he was much better. He taught Lykos a lot in those two weeks, when his Gift started growing out of proportion.'

  Hermes was clearly affected strongly by the thought of George, his face fell visibly, and a strong longing seemed to have him in its grip.

  'Leaving George broke your heart too, didn't it?' Melissa offered him an embrace, and against better feelings he sat on her lap and let her wrap her arms around him. See, now he'd done it.

  Tears rolled down his face as he told her: 'I still long for him, yes, I felt so safe in his home, in his arms.

  No responsibility, under his protection, no scheming or plotting, no spying to stay one step ahead of my enemies. I never realized I was so tired until I lay there, helpless, in pain but still happy and at peace.

  Only fear for my people could induce me to step through that portal again, and I've been sorry ever since. You and Paul take care you take Lykos with you when you go back, he is too innocent and too good for this world.

  It'd break him or spoil him.'

  Melissa was sure he was wrong about his son's spine, but she didn't tell him, they were going to take Lukas back so it didn't matter. She held Hermes as she had held Jonathan several times, full of compassion, his head on her chest, stroking his hair and his gorgeous face, and she said: 'You know Lykos

  can help you cope, too. Not as thoroughly as he helped George, for he made love to him of course, but he can take a little of the acute pain out of your memories.'

  Whatever Hermes felt at being held against Melissa's bosom, smelling her scent, her hands stroking him gently, it wasn't meant to last. For before he had gotten over the shock of remembering George, he was physically lifted off her lap, and held in an iron grip above the tiles of his own terrace.

  'I told you to keep your will off her, what have you done! I knew you could never change, why did I ever trust you!'

  Instead of being held over his terrace, Hermes was now in serious danger of being held over a hundred foot drop.

  'Lukas have you gone mad?' Melissa called out, 'let that poor man go, he didn't do anything to me. He was just feeling sad about having to leave George and I offered him a little innocent comfort.'

  Lukas let his father go, and his face lost all the anger and became a study in shock and guilt. Melissa couldn't stand the way he looked, lost, broken even, and she said: 'Lukas, come to me.' He was in her arms in less than a second, face in her bosom, crying broken-heartedly. She just held him until he would become sensible again, and looked at how Hermes was doing.

  He was still in shock, and Melissa could totally understand, he had been totally immersed in his grief over George, and he didn't even have an idea what had happened.

  She caught his eye and said in her most soothing voice: 'You too, Hermes, come to me,' holding out one arm for him.

  And that was how Ophius and Paul found them as they came running out of the house after hearing the ruckus. Lukas was still crying stormily, and his father was stunned into total silence, both in Melissa's arms, not seeing anyone or hearing anything.

  Paul asked: 'What happened, can I help?'

  Ophius saw no threat to anyone, so he went back into the kitchen to bring out breakfast. Lykos' friends were able enough to solve this.

  It was clear that Lukas was totally out of reach, so Melissa looked at Paul to comfort him, and focussed her attention on Hermes, whilst Paul stroked his friend over his curly head tenderly.

  'Hermes, are you all right?' she asked concernedly. He did not like a god at that moment, his eyes were glazed and he didn't respond to anything she

  said or did. She did not trust this, he had been through a terrible ordeal not even a month ago, he had clearly not dealt with his grief and his stress at all, and now his own son, who was known for his loving nature, had assaulted him. This was a case for Lukas. He just had to deal with his own guilt later, and see to his father now.

  'Lukas, you need to snap out of it for now. We'll talk quietly later, and you may cry, but your father is not doing well, he needs you.'

  Lukas' head looked up, guilt all over it.

  'I'm not mad at you, love,' Melissa told him, 'you thought you were protecting me. But your father was not sitting in my lap for nothing, he has been suffering from grief over leaving George, and he feels unsafe all the time. He seems in traumatic shock.'

  And Lukas proved he was made of sterner stuff than his father thought, for he sat up, stroked his father's face and said: 'I'm sorry for what I did to you just now, dad, please talk to me.'

  Still no reaction. Lukas moved to touch him with his Gift, until Paul stopped him and said: 'Not without anchor you don't. He's a god, remember, his mind is vast, and you are just a tiny godling yet, with little experience in healing gods. Take Melissa.'

  This did give a reaction in Hermes, who whispered: 'No, please. I want you along, Paul, not Melissa.'

  Which they did, Hermes still in Melissa's one arm, Lukas in the other, and Paul sitting on the ground next to them. He contacted Lukas, who touched his father.

  His mind was indeed vast, but it was pretty obvious what the problem was. As a god, Hermes was used to
getting his way by all means necessary, and he had always bent people to his will, never even thinking of their fate.

  His life had been ruled by his own needs and wants, he had loved only a few favourites, the rest were playthings for his amusement, to be used as pleased him.

  Sickness and pain were unknown to him, helplessness and dependence were similarly alien feelings.

  Then everything changed: his people were in trouble, he needed his son who had disappeared in thin air, his long search ended in a humiliating disaster, bringing him down to the level of an ordinary mortal, experiencing every hurtful feeling possible.

  And under George's guidance he was changed, from selfishness into compassion, from aloofness into caring. He felt safe and understood, until he realized his absence was causing problems and he had to return instantly.

  Unconsciously, he still had many unprocessed traumatic memories, of agonizing pain, of helplessness, guilt over his former attitudes and behaviour.

  His abrupt return had added grief over his loss of George, missing the feeling of safety being near George had given him. And the stress of his duties had hit him much harder than they ever had, realizing finally that all his people were just that, people, not just pawns on a board, to live or die as the Fates decided.

  He had been so happy when Lykos arrived, bringing his pretty friend, an end to his troubles and a chance for some loving in sight. And though the loving was less likely than ever, at least his hopes of success for the diplomatic mission had soared, for Lykos had returned self-assured but still goodness itself, and filled with the power of thousands of worshippers Yesterday evening his son had delivered a pointed warning about manipulating his friends, having caught some casual thoughts on those matters, thoughts that did still occur to Hermes occasionally as a remnant of his former attitude towards mortals. And he had tried to convince Lykos that he had changed, that he could be trusted.