Seven
C ode found her standing with her shoulders slumped by the Christmas tree, staring at the twinkling lights. Darkness had descended on New Orleans and the tree lights reflected against the sliding glass door, bringing color into an otherwise dismal room.
Anger, betrayal, elation and curiosity warred within his gut and he clenched his fists, seeing Sarah looking forlorn by that tree. The sparkling lights seemed to mock her with cheerful colors, while Sarah’s mood appeared anything but joyful.
“He’s gone,” Code announced. “For now. But I don’t trust him.”
Sarah didn’t turn his way. She nodded and continued to stare at the Christmas tree.
Now that he’d dealt with Gillespie, it was time to deal with Sarah. “How long have you known?”
“Awhile,” she said, with no further explanation. She was pregnant with his child, and she hadn’t bothered to tell him that he was going to be a father. They’d spent days and nights at Willow Bend together. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had ample opportunity. Damn her for not telling him. For not giving him any sign that she could be trusted.
“Arizona?” he asked.
She nodded.
They’d made love while at Tempest West in Arizona. At the time, Code thought that he could move on from that erotic encounter, but it hadn’t been enough. His plan had backfired. He hadn’t purged Sarah from his system at all. He’d come to New Orleans in direct pursuit of her, vowing to leave her once he felt he could get on with his life.
Now, they’d be tied together by their baby.
The realization that Sarah Rose carried his child warmed his heart. He’d thought back on their youth, when they’d fantasize about making babies and raising a family. He’d dreamed about that for years, up until the day that Sarah left him in Barker, Texas.
His dream died along with his heart that day.
Nothing had changed.
And nothing would change, other than he wouldn’t let Sarah run off with his child.
“We’re getting married. The child will have my name. My protection. Afterward, you and I will divorce. I’ll want custody rights.”
Sarah turned to him, her face crumbling. Tears fell from her eyes. “You hate me that much?”
“I don’t hate you, Sarah,” he said, softening his tone. “I never have.”
“I’d planned on telling you about the baby. I just needed…some time.”
Code walked farther into the room. He stood between her and the Christmas tree. “You’ve always got an excuse, don’t you? But if I hadn’t walked in on you and Gillespie, chances are I might never have known about my child. You would have left New Orleans and hidden it from me.”
Sarah wiped tears from her cheeks. She whispered so low that he barely heard her. “How can you think that of me?”
“You told him, the man you fired. You trusted him more than me.”
“You didn’t give me any reason to trust you.”
Code released a sigh. “Doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that you marry me and have a healthy pregnancy.”
Sarah blinked away another bout of tears, nodding. “I agree,” she said. “Nothing is more important to me than my baby.”
Code looked down at Sarah’s flat belly, imagining the child growing inside, hardly believing it. “I’ll make the arrangements.”
Sarah turned away from him then, facing the window and the bleak shadowy night. “I want to keep the marriage secret, just while I’m here in New Orleans.”
Code’s gut clenched. What was she up to now? “Why?”
“For my sanity and the health of the baby. With what happened the last time I was on stage, I don’t think I can take more press.”
She put a protective hand to her stomach. Code found he wanted to do the same, to make it all seem real. To cover his hand over the baby and relay the love he’d already begun to feel. But he remained stoic and listened to her admission.
“The media would never leave me alone, and I’m not up for any of that right now. I need to think of the baby first, and besides, I don’t want any attention directed away from the real reason I’m here, to raise money for charity.”
That made sense. Code wasn’t too keen on being involved in the media circus surrounding Sarah if news of her sudden marriage got out. They’d delve into both their pasts and probably concoct stories about their lives in Barker, Texas that were more false than true. “Is the baby healthy?”
Sarah’s lips curled up in a cautious smile. “Yes, very healthy.”
“And you?”
“Aside from the fact that I just fired my business manager of ten years? And that I’ve been offered a marriage proposal that no woman would ever dream about, I’m fine, Code.” She stepped back and cast him a defiant glare. “Just fine.”
“Good.” He knew his tactics hadn’t been charming, but he couldn’t chance Sarah’s refusal. She had to marry him. He wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’m glad we’re in agreement.”
“I’m only marrying you for the baby’s sake. Just so we’re clear.”
“Oh, we’re clear, Sarah. And just so you’re clear, I’m going to have a say in what you do from now on. That child you’re carrying is a Landon and I’m responsible for his safety.”
Sarah let go a deep weary sigh before steadying her voice with resolve. “Don’t push me, Code. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and the baby. I don’t need a watch dog.”
Code’s honed patience faded fast. “Well, what the hell do you need?”
Tears filled her eyes again. She shook her head and said quietly, “Nothing…from you.”
Code let go a vile curse and at the risk of upset ting her more, he walked toward the front door. He’d have to tread lightly. Sarah looked worn out and fatigued. Keeping Sarah and his child healthy had to be his first concern. “I’ll make the wedding plans and let you know when and where.”
She turned away from him before any more tears fell. Sarah wore her heart on her sleeve and that was one thing Code had always loved about her. She never could keep her sensitive emotions hidden.
Now, he’d have a sleepless night haunted by the sight of her silent misery.
“Yes, Mama, I know it’s happening very suddenly,” Sarah said into the phone. She rested on her bed, looking up at the ceiling, praying that she wouldn’t be struck down from her deception. Sarah would rather think of them more as half-truths and lies of omission than what they really were.
Out and out lies.
Yes, she was marrying Code, but the marriage was temporary and would end in divorce. She would make her excuses later on—the marriage didn’t work out—they’d tried and failed—they weren’t meant for each other after all.
Sarah had friends whose marriages had lasted less than six months. It was a sad state of affairs to be certain, but this way she’d protect her family from the truth.
“I want you to come for my wedding,” she said to her mother. “It won’t be anything fancy, just a simple ceremony. Code and I are keeping it a secret for a time.”
“Sweetie pie, I wouldn’t miss my baby’s wedding for nothing. I don’t care about fancy doings, just as long as my baby girl is happy. I always knew in my heart that you and Cody belonged together.”
“Yes, Mama.” Sarah cringed, despising her deception. But her mother had always blamed herself for her and Code’s breakup. She’d thought that Sarah would have led a happier life had she married Code Landon all those years ago. Sarah rationalized her lies, telling herself that this way, her mama would see that she and Code were not suited at all and come to realize that Sarah had chosen the correct life path by leaving Texas when she had.
“After all these years, you two found each other again. I’ve prayed for this, Sarah honey. Every day, I prayed that my baby would find happiness.”
“Oh, Mama. I’ve been…happy.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone and then the sound of her mother’s broken voice came through, �
�We all know what you did, Sarah. You sacrificed because your mama couldn’t provide for you and your sisters.”
“No, Mama, that’s not true!” Sarah refused to let her mother take any blame for Sarah’s decision to leave Barker. “Daddy left you with three children to raise. You did your best and we love you for it.”
“Sarah…I let you leave…I shouldn’t have ever done it.”
“No, Mama, I wanted to go.”
She’d had to go. Her mother’s rheumatoid arthritis had jeopardized her job and her secretarial skills had been diminishing as her illness worsened. Lenora’s pride matched her determination, and she’d kept her secret from her employers, but Sarah had known her mother wouldn’t have lasted much longer on the job.
She’d come home at night in agonizing pain.
“It’s just like you said, God gave me a voice to do something good.”
“Oh, sweetie pie,” her mama began as her voice broke and Sarah could tell she held back tears, “you did something good, honey. You provided for your family, when I…couldn’t.”
Sarah ached for her mother’s pain and guilt. They’d had this conversation several times over the course of her lifetime, and Sarah never found words enough to convince her mother that she hadn’t been to blame for any of it.
“I’m glad you’re coming out for the wedding, Mama. I’m going to try to get Selia and Suzette to come, too, if they can get away from their classes.”
“Those girls will be comin’. They wouldn’t miss you marrying Cody. My, I remember how much they looked up to that boy. Little as they were, they had big ole crushes on him.”
“I remember.” Sarah hadn’t thought about it in years, but Cody had charmed all the Rose women. Her younger sisters had admired him because he was older and handsome but mainly because he’d never treated them like children.
When the conversation ended, Sarah closed her eyes and rested. She couldn’t believe that her wedding ceremony was only a few days away and would take place just hours before her Saturday night performance.
At least she’d have her mother and sisters there. Still, all of this happened so quickly, and her decision to tell half-truths to her family was made hastily. But she believed protecting them and saving her mother from more blame was worth the price of her own guilt. Sarah couldn’t get married without her family present despite the fact that the marriage was a lie, and she felt like a fraud.
Sarah would do everything in her power to honor her commitment as wife and mother. At least her vows wouldn’t be spoken in vain.
Sarah spoke her vows on Saturday afternoon on the steps of the gazebo in the backyard garden at Willow Bend, dressed in an ivory taffeta gown. Code stood beside her wearing a crisp black Italian suit like a second skin, his tone steady as he spoke promises he fully intended to break. Brock Tyler attended as his best man, and since Sarah needed the support all three Rose women acted as attendants during the ceremony, her mother sitting in her wheelchair and her two sisters beside her, smiling and eyeing her with joy and Code with youthful fascination.
Cool winds blew and clouds shadowed the sky, yet the grounds looked lovely, and the mansion’s glorious splendor and history belied the deceit that was her wedding. Sarah shivered, her sleeves ruffling in the wind as she tried to hear the minister’s words before the breeze carried them off.
When the minister nodded encouraging her to speak her vows, Sarah ignored the tightening in her stomach. She spoke softly and on cue, “I do.”
Code peered at her with softness for a moment, before it was his turn to respond to the minister’s question. Code answered, “I do.”
The clergyman offered up a wedding blessing and pronounced them husband and wife.
Sarah shook, her entire body trembling, catching Code’s immediate attention. In the breadth of a second, he removed his jacket, wrapped it around her shoulders and requested that everyone save their congratulations until they went into the warm house, where an early dinner would be served.
Code led her toward the house, whispering so that only she could hear. “You look beautiful today, Sarah.”
Her body warmed considerably until he added, “At one time in my life all I wanted was to marry you and raise a family.”
“You make it sound like I never wanted the same thing. You know we both wanted a future together.”
He slanted her a cynical look. “Doubtful, sweetheart.” When they reached the back entrance to the house, Code stopped to wrap his arms around her waist, and she was certain it appeared like a loving embrace to all onlookers. “Pretend you’re happy, Sarah,” he said, his lips near her ear. “Put a smile on your face. I’m lying to your family because you insisted, so make a good show of it or your cover will be blown.”
Then he cupped her chin and kissed her long and deep before ushering her into the house.
Minutes later, Brock came up and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Congratulations, Mrs. Landon. You make a beautiful bride.”
Sarah smiled. “Thanks, Brock.”
She wished she felt beautiful on the inside. Right now, the well-meaning lies she’d told her family reared their ugly head like a monster from the deep. Guilt and regret churned in her stomach. Not only had she lied to the people dearest to her, but she would have to keep this secret hidden from the rest of the world. She was married and pregnant with a child she had always wanted—Code’s child—and she couldn’t tell a soul.
“It’s okay, honey. I know.”
She snapped her gaze to Brock’s intelligent dark eyes and whispered with alarm, “He told you?”
Brock scratched the back of his head and sighed. “He didn’t have to. I figured most of it out on my own. When I backed Code into a corner, he told me the rest of it.”
Sarah lowered her voice. “My family doesn’t know a thing. Not that they’d be upset about the baby, but what comes after…would surely send my mother over the edge. She’d start blaming herself all over again if she knew how much Code really resented me.”
Brock took her hand in his. “Hang in there, Sarah. Code’s stubborn, but he’s a good man.”
She shook her head and glimpsed Code charming her sisters and mother in the dining area. Sarah hadn’t seen her mother smile so much in ten years. “I wish I could believe that.” Then she turned to Brock. “Please keep what you know to yourself.”
“Don’t worry,” he returned, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “You can trust me. C’mon, let’s walk over there, and you can reintroduce me to your gorgeous sisters.”
“Sure thing, as long as you know they’re off limits.”
Brock pumped his fist to his chest. “You’re wounding me, Sarah.”
“Somehow I think you’ll survive.”
He grinned playfully, “Always.”
“Thanks for coming to the wedding,” Sarah said, all joking aside. “I know you have your hands full with the hotel in Maui.”
“Hey, I don’t mind flying halfway across the world to see two people I care about get married. It was an honor.”
“Says the confirmed bachelor.”
“Yeah, well, my older brother Evan got married, and my younger brother Trent is engaged, and my best friend Code is secretly wed. Guess I’m the last hold out. Someone has to stand up for all the bachelors of the world.”
Code would be a bachelor again before long, too, and that thought brought myriad emotions, but she pasted on a pretty smile as she approached her family.
She was the happy bride, after all.
While Sarah and the other guests enjoyed Chef Louis’s white fondant decorated lemon cake, Code wheeled Lenora Rose into the parlor. When he’d first laid eyes on her today he’d been shocked to see her sitting in the wheelchair. Another secret Sarah had kept from him. He remembered her as a kind, prideful woman who’d had a tough life, worn down from fatigue, trying hard to keep her three daughters one step above poverty.
Now, she appeared more…rested. And happy. But Code couldn’t miss the grotesque arch of her f
ingers or the slump of her body. Every so often, she’d stifle a wince of pain, and he knew that though she’d had the utmost in health care, she still suffered from her chronic ailment.
“My, this room has history,” she said, darting her gaze around at the antebellum antiques. “The paintings are lovely,” she said, her eyes filled with wonder. “Thank you for the tour.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. Upon her request, he’d taken her through each of the lower rooms, explaining his plans for renovations. “The house is shaping up.”
“You’ve done well for yourself, Cody. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
Humbled by her comment, Code was at a loss for words.
“Will you sit down with me for a spell?” There was a breech in her voice as tears entered her eyes.
Code positioned the wheelchair so that he faced her when he took a seat. She reached her hand out and he took it, marveling at the frailty in those disfigured fingers. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you and Sarah found your way back to each other. It does my heart good, Cody.”
She smiled and twin tears fell down her cheeks.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, taking out a hanky and gently wiping at the moisture. He was a sucker for tears and Lenora’s kind words were enough to do him in. “Those are happy tears, right?” he asked softly.
Code’s insides quaked with regret. He damned Sarah for persuading him go to along with this deception. Her mother had expectations of a fruitful, loving marriage.
She didn’t answer. Instead she put her head down for a moment, then cast him a sincere look and spoke quietly. “I’ve always liked you, Cody. You were a good boy, and my Sarah loved you to distraction. I know her leaving hurt you bad. It hurt her, too, though she pretended that leaving you and Texas behind was what she wanted. I know she did it for me. And the girls.”
She pulled her hand free of his. “Look at these hands.” She lifted them slightly and Code glanced at them because she’d asked. “All I had was secretarial skills. It paid the bills, Cody. I had three girls to raise. I didn’t know how to do anything else. Sarah was old enough to realize that I was about to lose my job. I couldn’t do the work anymore.”
Do Not Disturb Until Christmas Page 8