Code inhaled sharply and nodded in understanding.
“It was a bittersweet blessing that Robert Gillespie spotted her singing at the county fair. It meant that we had a chance.” Her voice wobbled and she struggled to keep it steady. “My girls wanted to go to college and I could barely keep food on the table.”
“I understand,” Code said, trying to ease her burden but stiffening at the mention of Gillespie’s name.
Sarah had written him just one letter after she’d left town, promising to write more, promising once her career got going, they’d be together again. Like an idiot he’d waited for her. That was eighteen months of his life he’d never regain. While he might forgive Sarah for leaving initially, she had no excuse for not keeping her promises to him.
Memories flashed of him trekking to Memphis for one of her shows. He’d watched her from the back rows. He’d longed for her and planned on confronting her, but he’d never gotten that far. Once he’d managed to get backstage, he’d found her being escorted out of her dressing room with Rod Hanson, the cocky football star, laughing and giving him her full attention.
Then and there, he vowed that Sarah would never make a fool of him again.
Lenora’s voice cut into those painful memories. “The day I came to you with Sarah’s letter.” She closed her eyes and waited, as if mustering the courage. “Was the worst day of my life.”
“Lenora, you don’t have to—”
“Please, Cody. Let me explain. It broke my heart to see the pain on your face. You were stunned and angry, but mostly you were heartbroken.”
“I loved Sarah very much.”
“And I didn’t give you a chance, did I? Do you remember what I said to you that day?”
Code nodded, but he wouldn’t repeat it. He remembered every word in that conversation like his worst nightmare.
“I said, ‘Don’t go after her. She doesn’t want you to.’ I crushed your last hope, and it killed me. Oh God, Cody. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“Mama?” Sarah interrupted, sweeping into the room with one hand holding up her gown.
She was gorgeous, the way he’d always pictured his bride to look, dressed in a white flowing gown, her pretty auburn hair restrained by the diamond headpiece he’d given her just before the ceremony. She’d done the whole wedding thing to perfection for her mother and sisters’ sakes.
Yet she was his bride today and he allowed himself to look at her with a measure of pride.
“We’re just having a chat,” her mother said, patting Code’s hand and giving him a warning look not to reveal their conversation. “Cody’s been telling me about the house.”
Code assured her with a quick wink, then gazed at Sarah. She darted glances at both of them with narrowed eyes. “You’ve been gone awhile.”
Code stood then and approached her, changing the subject. “I should get you back to the hotel. You’ll need time to rest before the show tonight. I’ll have Jimmy bring up the limo.”
Lenora managed her wheelchair around to face them, a smile lifting her lips. “I’m looking forward to the show, sweetie pie. It’s been months since I’ve seen you perform. The girls can stay, too.”
Sarah smiled warmly at her mother. “I’m so glad you’re all here, Mama. It’ll be nice knowing you’re in the audience tonight.”
“You’re doing a good thing, Sarah—raising money for the less fortunate.”
“Code’s helping, too. He’s matching the ticket sales with his own money.”
Lenora’s eyes sparkled with admiration when she peered at him. “You married a generous man, Sarah.”
Code hadn’t blushed since high school, but he felt heat rising up his collar. And he damned his new bride for that, too.
Eight
A fter the show, Sarah and Code walked her mother back to her room, Code pushing the wheelchair with Selia and Suzette just steps behind.
Sarah missed her younger sisters, but she knew they were happy going to college. Both of them earned good grades, Selia the more studious and Suzette the social butterfly. Sarah was proud of them and witnessing their progress and the futures they might one day have made all her heartache worth it.
“It was a great show, Sarah,” Suzette said. “I never thought you needed Robert as much as he wanted you to believe. I never liked him.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m glad you got rid of him.”
“Quiet, Suz.” Selia warned.
“Oh, Selly, just admit it. You never liked him either.”
“Smart girls, your sisters.” Code gave them a thumbs-up.
“We’re not discussing Robert on your sister’s wedding day,” Lenora said. “Hush now, both you girls.”
When they reached their room, Code bent down to give Lenora a kiss. “Sweet dreams, mother-in-law.”
Lenora’s light hazel eyes beamed joy. “You’re the closest thing I have to a son now, Cody.”
“Thank you,” Code said with a sweet smile, but Sarah noticed his shoulders stiffen.
He turned to kiss Selia and Suzette. “It was great seeing you two again. Good night.”
Her sisters embraced Code and offered congratulations again. Sarah hugged her sisters then kissed her mother. “Want me to come inside for a while?”
“On your wedding night? Sweetie pie, I taught you better than that. You go on. You have yourself a fine husband now. Go, enjoy yourselves.”
Code took hold of her arm. “Come on, Sarah. You heard your mama. It’s our wedding night.”
Sarah bent to give her mother one last kiss. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”
Sarah waited until the girls helped her mother inside their suite and closed the door. Code stood waiting for her, his jaw tight, his lips pursed.
Hardly a happy groom.
“What?” she asked, her patience on a short fuse.
Code kept his voice low as they walked down the hall to his penthouse suite. “I don’t like lying to your mother.”
“Well, I just love it,” she said, her anger boiling over.
“She doesn’t deserve getting her hopes up about our marriage.”
“Well, aren’t you one to talk. Mr. ‘Sweet dreams, mother-in-law’.”
“I’m only going along with this because you said it was necessary to keep from hurting her more.”
“That’s right,” she said, entering Code’s suite when he opened the door. “I explained all that.”
“Hurting her is inevitable, and it’s a damn sight better telling her now than living a lie and deceiving her for months and months.”
“Code, you promised.”
He glared at her, his eyes bitter with regret. He’d married her today, and remorse was written all over his expression. Her pride injured, her ego stung, there was no turning back now.
She’d dressed like a princess today, hoping for an ounce of joy on her wedding day. Didn’t a girl deserve at least that much? Apparently, Code didn’t think so.
He never failed to remind her how she’d screwed up their lives. Sarah had hoped her charity work would somehow compensate for the hurt she’d caused.
Sudden exhaustion struck her, and everything seemed to shut down at once. Her body sagged, her eyes burned with fatigue and her heart ached so badly, she just wanted to go to bed and stay there for days.
“I’m turning in, Code. It’s been a long day.”
She turned to leave and Code gripped her arm, stopping her before she opened the front door. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“To my…suite.”
Code pinned her with blue-eyed intensity and shook his head. “You’re my wife now, babe. You’re sleeping here.”
“But my things are all in my—”
“I’ll send someone to get what you need tomorrow morning.”
“Code,” she said, putting up a stopping hand. “This isn’t going to work.”
“Your family will get awfully suspicious if they find you sleeping in your own suite.”
“Are y
ou saying that when they leave tomorrow I can go back to my suite?”
He shook his head again. “No. I told you, I’m going to have a say in your life, and I meant it. There’s three bedrooms in this suite. Take your pick. I’ll make sure you have everything you need by morning. No one will disturb you here, not even me.”
Sarah opened her mouth to spit out a witty reply, but then thought better of it and clamped her mouth closed. She couldn’t believe she’d married Code Landon today. It all seemed surreal and darn it, she was too darn tired to argue anymore. “Fine.”
Code nodded. “Good.”
They stared at each other.
Seconds ticked by.
Then he approached her, his face steeped with regret. She couldn’t think beyond those midnight blue eyes staring straight at her, pinning her down so she couldn’t move. He reached out to touch her face, his fingers skimming her skin. Her heart warmed, her nerves tingled. He bent his head and crushed his lips to her in an earthmoving kiss that obliterated all the sins of the past. While his mouth covered hers and their tongues entwined, she forgot all else but the familiar heady taste of him. His musky scent turned her on. His hard body pressing hers sent a satisfying jolt through her system. Her sensitive breasts tingled. A pulse of awareness below her waist caused a desperate ache. When Code broke off the kiss, looking aroused and sexier than a man had a right to look, Sarah’s breath caught. She wanted more.
“Good night, Sarah.” He released her and backed away leaving her with a niggling thought. She was his wife now and the irony was sadly almost laughable.
From now on she’d be sleeping alone.
Sarah woke up grumpy. She didn’t sleep well and now as her stomach growled, she knew she’d have to get out of bed to eat breakfast. She couldn’t forego any meals. She was determined not to let down another soul in her life, most especially her new baby.
She laid a hand on her belly. “Are you warm and cozy in there? I hope so. I’m going to take the best care of you.” Then a disgruntled thought entered her mind. “Even though your daddy doesn’t trust me to provide for you, I will make sure you have everything you’ll ever need.”
Except a loving home.
Tears stung her eyes. Her child will never have a father and mother raising her in the same household. The baby will never know the joy of true family. Sarah had always longed for that. Being the oldest, she had slight recollections of her mother and father holding her, laughing with joy, their sweet, carefree smiles embedded into her mind. Those happy times faded fast. Her father left the family right after the twins were born, though he really hadn’t been around much before that.
Now, her sweet innocent child would be a victim of a broken home.
Sarah showered and dressed quickly, her stomach growling again reminding her she needed nourishment. She walked out of the bedroom beckoned by the aroma of fresh coffee and a mingling of other delicious breakfast smells, eggs, toast, melons and other fruity scents.
She headed for the dining table just off the kitchen, but a bright light caught her eye and she turned toward the parlor and a silent stunned gasp escaped.
Her Christmas tree, adorned by her treasured ornaments sat in front of the window, the tiny colorful lights reflecting off the panes of glass. “Code,” she whispered.
And she turned to find him standing behind her. Tears spilled down her cheeks at the thoughtful gesture. He’d had the tree moved here from her suite. He’d known what that Christmas tree meant to her.
She gazed at him, unable to hide her gratitude. Her hormones were working overtime. She’d never cried so much in her life as she had since Code reentered it.
“Don’t cry, Sarah,” he said softly. “It’s just another simple wedding gift.”
She glanced down at the magnificent emerald wedding ring he’d placed on her finger yesterday, to match her eyes, he’d said. A ring she would have to hide in her jewelry case from now on. He’d also gifted her with the diamond headpiece to put in her hair. He’d been generous, and she wondered if he considered it an investment, something he’d want back in the divorce settlement.
Ashamed of the unkind thought, she banished it from her mind. “Thank you.”
At times, glimpses of the sweet boy she’d once loved came through. That Code Landon she’d never stopped loving.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Starved. I’m eating for two and the baby doesn’t let me forget it,” she answered. “My appetite has come back, full force.”
“Breakfast is ready. It was delivered a few minutes ago, so it’s still hot.” Code’s gaze drifted down to her lacy chartreuse nightie. “How did you sleep?”
Not well. Not after that kiss that left her wanting. “Great. How about you?”
“I never have trouble sleeping.”
Sarah refrained from grimacing. Code could be so doggone infuriating at times. Late last night when she couldn’t sleep, she’d gotten up and popped her head inside the parlor. She’d found him pouring himself a drink from the bar.
“Now what?” she asked, completely baffled by Code’s shifts in moods from kind and generous to cold and calculating. Who was this man she married?
“Now? You do what you normally do. Starting with eating breakfast.”
She followed him into the dining area where an array of food crowded the table. “All this?”
“I’m eating, too. And I have a healthy appetite.”
He poured her a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. “Sit down. Want some decaf coffee?”
“No thanks. I’m good.”
Sarah piled eggs, toast and fresh fruit onto her plate and dug in. She ate two helpings, including three thin link sausages and drank several glasses of orange juice. Shoving the plate away, she leaned back and couldn’t stifle a bout of giggles.
“What?” Code asked, his face breaking into a smile.
“I’m not even full. Imagine that. I could eat a third helping without blinking an eye. I never eat this much.”
“You’ve never been pregnant before.”
Her smile faded. “No.” She placed her hand on her belly, a gesture that was becoming second nature with her now. “Lots of things will change, I suppose.”
Code sipped from a mug of coffee then leaned forward, bracing his arms on the table. “For me, too. I just want you to know I’m not unhappy about the baby. I plan on being a good father.”
Sarah looked down and fidgeted with her napkin, keeping another round of tears at bay. “I know you’ll be a good father, Code.”
“The baby will want for nothing.”
“Except,” she blurted, then restrained from saying more.
“Except?” Code’s tone demanded a response. “What can’t I provide for my child?”
Sarah shook her head. “Nothing, Code.”
“You have something on your mind, Sarah. Just say it.”
Sarah buttoned her lips. How could she admit to him she wished the marriage were real? How could she tell him if only he would trust her again she’d prove to him that they could make it work for the baby’s sake?
How could she reveal that really deep down in her heart she would never love a man the way she’d once loved him. That she’d be willing to give the marriage a genuine try to give their child a sense of family, a father and mother who loved each other.
True, Sarah had her mother and sisters and she’d loved them dearly, but their family hadn’t been complete. She’d never felt like part of real family with a father who would drop her off at school in the mornings, plopping a good-luck-on-your-test kiss on her cheek, like the other girls and a mother who had time to help her with homework after school. Sarah knew her mother did the very best she could for her children. But she’d always dreamed of providing a better kind of life for her own child.
Perhaps stubborn pride and ingrained precaution worked against her. She couldn’t relay her heartfelt emotions to Code right now.
“Sarah?”
She rose from the ta
ble. “I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon. He’s arranged to see me as his last patient. Would you like to take me?”
Code’s impatient glare while waiting for her to answer him, disappeared. He cocked her half a smile. “Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.”
She nodded with relief. “We’ll have to be discreet. I don’t want to draw any attention.”
“Right,” he said, standing up to meet her gaze, his face now hard as steel. “We wouldn’t want anyone to know country’s darling Sarah Rose got knocked up and had a shotgun wedding.”
Sarah winced. Any mention of her celebrity made Code hot under the collar. Tears welled in her eyes again, not from his harsh words, but from the realization that Code would never accept her for who she was.
She turned on her heels, unwilling to let Code see her cry again. She couldn’t seem to control the tears, a drawback to pregnancy.
“Sarah, wait.” Code said. He reached for her and drew her into his arms. Comforting her, he held her close.
She sobbed quietly as he held and soothed her, stroking her hair and giving her a taste of the tenderness she craved from him.
Sarah had never felt so lost. So hopeless.
And she prayed it was just her pregnancy mood talking. Because if it wasn’t, then her dream of having a real family life, was just that…a dream.
The doctor’s appointment went as planned, Code driving Sarah to the office in an ordinary black SUV. He’d waited until the absolute last minute to usher Sarah out of the car. The receptionist greeted them immediately, showing them to the room where Sarah undressed in a small alcove and came out wearing a blue-checkered gown.
She appeared a little self-conscious, casting him a shy smile as she sat atop the examining table. “Not very fashionable, is it?”
Code cocked her half a smile. Sarah always looked great, whether wearing jeans and a T-shirt or a stunning sequined gown. Today, she’d worn a tan suede skirt and a cream colored blouse that made her skin glow and her eyes look like fresh new grass.
Do Not Disturb Until Christmas Page 9