Cami's Decision
Page 42
Chapter 2
The July heat was scorching outside. At ninety-nine degrees, the sidewalks were hot enough to fry an egg and sizzle bacon.
The temperature inside the Alderson household was cool and comfortable for Cami who was still dressed in her pajamas—even though it was after noon.
Sitting across from her on her bed sporting a newly dyed brown updo was Marissa Benson. Cami had called her a few hours after she wrote her first journal entry and invited her over.
Seeing Marissa felt a little weird because she hadn’t seen her since their mall excursion over two months ago. This was the longest time either of them had ever gone without seeing each other. She could see Marissa out the corner of her eye sitting quietly with her hands resting in her lap while she stared out the window. They hadn’t spoken since she’d arrived, but Cami found comfort in her just being there.
She smiled as she thought about all of the fun times they’d had together. At Marissa’s tenth birthday party, she pushed Cami into the pool which angered her because the water ruined her curly hairstyle. On another occasion, while she was sleeping over at Marissa’s, Marissa used face paint to make herself look like a clown. After her transformation was complete, she tip-toed to her room, flipped on the light switch, and stood over Cami. It didn’t take long for the young girl to wake up to the eerie sight of a clown in her face, and she was so frightened that she screamed and shook in terror at the sight of the ugly clown face that was in front of her. Marissa’s mother, Christina, ran to her only daughter’s room terrified that something dreadful had happened. She was relieved yet less than pleased once she realized what was going on. One disapproving look from her mother told Marissa that it was time to wash her face, so she ran to the bathroom while her mother did her best to assure Cami that there weren’t any clowns around but Cami wasn’t so sure—as she slept with the lamp on for the rest of the night.
Marissa had been watching Cami intently now. She had been smiling for several minutes and Marissa was curious as to why. “Why are you so smiley today?” she asked, breaking the ice.
“Just thinking about the good times,” Cami answered, while still staring out the window.
“Like…”
She turned to face Marissa and brought herself to a seating position with a smile still on her face. “Like the time you pushed me into the pool at your tenth birthday party.”
Marissa chuckled. “Oh, yeah. I remember that. You were so angry with me.”
“Thankfully, I had clothes at your house from sleeping over so often.”
Marissa gasped once she’d remembered one of her all-time favorite pranks she’d pulled on her. “Do you remember the time I scared you with my clown face?”
Cami rolled her eyes. “That was the worst. I was so scared I had to sleep with the lamp on for the rest of the night.”
“You didn’t speak to me for two days.”
Cami’s smile faded. “It’s better than us not speaking in over two months.”
Marissa’s face turned from somewhat happy to cold. Cami never responded to any of her texts and when she tried to visit her, Kaci told her that she didn’t want to see anyone. Like Cami, she didn’t have an easy summer either. Her mother had fallen behind on the mortgage payments, and Marissa had been unsuccessful at finding a part-time job. (However, her mother was unaware that she knew about any of this.) She was deeply worried that her mother and she would soon be homeless, and the one person she wanted to confide in wouldn’t even talk to her.
Cami sighed deeply. She wasn’t surprised to see anger in Marissa’s eyes. She hadn’t spoken to her all summer so it only made sense that she would be angry. “How has your summer been so far?”
“Well,” Marissa began, “you haven’t spoken to me all summer so why does it matter now?”
Cami licked her dry lips and wished that she had a glass of ice, cold water for her dry throat but pressed on anyhow. “Because I…I…” She knew what she had to do, and it was probably something that Marissa wanted to hear. “I’m sorry.”
Marissa frowned and crossed her arms. “Do you think that an apology is supposed to fix things, huh?” She stood up and walked towards the door. “Where were you when I needed someone to talk to?”
Cami didn’t respond but her eyes never left Marissa’s. “I was in group therapy and talking to my psychiatrist because I tried to kill myself. I didn’t even think that I could go on living knowing that Leena killed my daughter and got away with it.”
Marissa put one of her hands on her mouth. She’d heard around town about the near fatal incident that almost claimed Cami’s life. Cami was more than her best friend. She was like a sister to her, and losing her would’ve been as hard as losing her father. That was one of the hardest things that she had ever been through in her life, and she didn’t think she could take saying goodbye to someone else she loved.
Without saying a word, she made her way to Cami and hugged her for the longest time. They both shed tears and each managed a small chuckle once they saw the other’s face. The two best friends loved each other, and it was something that they didn’t even have to vocalize because they both knew it.
But Marissa was still worried about Cami.
Once they’d both seated themselves on her bed, she didn’t waste any time asking what she really wanted to know. “Why didn’t you ever text me back?” she inquired, as she sat with her chin to her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs.
Cami looked down at her hands. She knew this question was coming. “Because,” she began, as she forced herself to make eye contact with Marissa, “I felt defeated because I lost Natalie and I just…didn’t want to talk to anyone.”
Marissa put a reassuring hand on Cami’s shoulder and watched as Cami swallowed back more tears. “If Leena would’ve stayed away, this never would’ve happened,” Cami told her.
“All of this keeps coming back to Leena…”
“Because it’s her fault!”
“Cami, I’m not saying it’s not but…”
“It’s her fault.”
She got off the bed once again and stood in front of Cami. “Have you forgiven her?”
“No!” Cami exclaimed. “I want to but…” She crossed her arms before slowly uncrossing them again. “It’s so hard,” she uttered. “I want to forget that she’s the reason why Natalie’s dead. I want to forget that she almost killed my sister but I can’t forget it. I think about it all the time.”
“The only reason I asked is because, in terms of learning how to forgive someone, I’ve been where you’re headed. Don’t let her win; don’t let this eat away at you until there’s nothing left.”
“So what should I do?”
“Do what Natalie would’ve wanted you to do—continue living your life. Don’t give it up because of Leena. Besides, once she’s convicted she’ll probably spend the rest of her life in prison.”
Cami could feel herself become tense at the sheer mention of Leena’s name but she knew that Marissa was right. Leena was being held in the county jail on a $1,000,000 bond for two counts of attempted murder and a $3,000,000 bond for one count of murder: one count for Cami and Skylar and Cami’s unborn child (the murder charge). “Okay.”
“So are you ever going to answer my question about how your summer was?” Cami asked, changing the conversation.
Marissa sighed. If she was going to get through another conversation with Cami, she was going to need a cold glass of lemonade.