Loki: Are you coming home tonight?
Such a simple text but, to me, it says so much more. Like, how he’s tired of me coming home late. Tired of me in general. I don’t blame him. Tiring Alexis. I am her a lot. And deep down, underneath my I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-anything façade, I feel bad. But I can’t be the girl I was before our parents’ deaths. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. She died right along with our parents.
She died that day in the bathroom.
Taking a shaky breath, I focus on sending Loki a quick text back because that’s simple, and simple is all I can handle at the moment, apparently.
Me: Probably to take a shower, but then I’m leaving again.
He doesn’t respond, his silence showing how agitated he is with me.
I can tell I annoy him whenever I disappear and don’t tell him where I’m going, or when I refuse to set plans, or whenever I get fired from a job. I know I need to decide about where I’m going with my life since I’ll be graduating in just a few of weeks, but the truth is that I have no clue what I want to do. I used to love art. I used to love painting. I used to love creating, pouring my emotions onto a blank canvas. But none of that matters to me anymore. At least, not in the way it did before.
I see who the rest of the texts are from. Strangely, I have one from West, Blaine’s best friend and my archnemesis since grade school. Sure, the two of us hang out a ton, but only when we’re both with Blaine, because we clash big time. The main reason we butt heads is West knows how to push my buttons, and I know I do the same to him. He constantly teases me, and I do the same to him. At least we both keep the douchiness even.
Things had gotten so bad that Masie and Blaine made up a rule that we aren’t allowed to stay in the same room together alone, like they think we’re going to beat the crap out of each other. West thought it was funny when they made that rule and joked that they were probably worried we were going to screw each other’s brains out. I was unamused. Well, sort of. Fine, I kind of laughed, but only at the idea of having sex with West.
Sure, he’s hot, in a blond, Gothic prince sort of way, with his chin-length, blond hair; pierced tongue; and studded, dark clothing. But Blaine is more my type, which is weird because, looking at us, you’d think West and I went together. Not that anyone would ever really go with me.
“No one wants you.”
“You’re so fucking ugly.”
“Dammit,” I grit out as my heart begins to pound in my chest.
I don’t even know why I’m upset. It’s just a guy. A guy I didn’t even really want to have a crush on.
But he used to be my friend. So was Masie.
Releasing a shaky exhale, I lift my head and return to my texts, my brows dipping when I see I have one from an unknown number.
My confusion only doubles when I open it.
Unknown: Hi there.
I lift a brow. What the hell? It’s got to be from a wrong number, right? Yeah, it has to be.
Deciding to ignore it, I tap the internet tab and start searching for what could be wrong with my car, particularly why a battery cable might just split in half. After browsing for a bit, I have a couple of ideas. Not that it’s going to help me since, if I want to fix my car, I’m going to have to go back to Masie’s.
“I’m acting like such a coward,” I mutter. “I don’t like feeling this way … I’m usually tougher than this … God, today sucks balls.”
“Hey! My mom says balls is a bad word.” A little kid pops his head around the corner and scowls at me. He has what I’m hoping is chocolate all over his face and leaves in his hair. “I’m going to tell.”
“I meant balls as in tennis balls,” I tell him. “And I don’t really care if you tell.”
“Well, you will,” he says, throwing a twig at me. “And you shouldn’t even be in here. You’re too old.”
“You’re never too old to play on a playground. Now go away and leave me alone.”
He throws another twig at me, and it pegs me in the eye.
My hand flies to my face. My eye burns like hell. “You little sh—”
He cuts me off with a wicked laugh then bails down the slide.
I pull my phone back out to use the camera to try to see the damage.
Great. Now I look like I have pink eye. And on top of that, the unknown number didn’t take my silence as a hint.
Unknown: What? No response? I guess I’m going to have to be more persuasive then.
Beyond annoyed, I send a quick reply back.
Me: Wrong number, so stop texting me.
I put my phone away and sit on the slide with my hand pressed to my eye until I hear the boy heading back up. He’s chattering to someone about a crazy girl who lives in the tunnels. Clearly, it’s time to say peace out to my hideout.
I glance out the window to make sure Blaine’s truck isn’t in the parking lot or on the street. Then I climb out of my hiding spot and hike across the grass toward the road. By now, the sky has started to grey as the sun descends behind the shallow hills surrounding Honeyton, which means I’m running out of time to fix my car before the sun goes down completely.
Part of me wonders if I should just sneak back to Masie’s. Maybe she won’t be there. Before I can make up my damn mind, though, a dark blue, 1968 GTO rolls up to the curb in front of me.
My frown deepens.
I know the owner.
Very well.
Too well.
West Parker.
Great. Just what I need. Here I am, close to having a breakdown, and my worst enemy is here to witness it.
Yeah, today definitely sucks balls.
Three
West
I’ve been helping Blaine and Masie look for Alexis for the past hour after Masie called me, hysterical, sobbing so hard I could barely understand her. To be honest, I almost hung up on her. Not because I’m a dick—okay, well, sometimes I can be—but I’ve never been a fan of Masie, at least not enough to deal with her drama. That’s always been Blaine’s thing. Ever since the beginning of high school when Alexis introduced us to her, Blaine’s had a thing for Masie. And Alexis has had a thing for Blaine.
It’s a whole drama-filled love triangle that no one talks about. Honestly, I don’t think Blaine realizes it exists. I have no idea how he doesn’t. If he paid attention for two seconds, he’d be able to tell that Alexis has been in love with him since the beginning of high school. But, while Blaine’s been my friend, he’s always been a self-centered dumbass. He sees what he wants to see, and a lot of what he sees is himself.
How Alexis can be in love him is beyond me. Even I can barely tolerate him sometimes, and I’m supposed to be his best friend. Then again, we haven’t really been best friends since he made the varsity football team and started thinking he was the shit while I focused on my grades, but that was mainly because my parents forced me to.
“You’ll get straight A’s every year,” my dad told me at the start of high school, “or there will be consequences.”
He didn’t have to state what the consequences were. I knew the drill by that point. I have scars on my body to remind me.
“Go away,” Lex snaps at me, tearing me out of my thoughts. “You’re the last person I want to see right now.”
“Well, hello to you, too,” I quip as I pull my car up beside her.
In reality, her comment stings. Why? Well, how do I explain this in a way that won’t make me sound like a love-struck dumbass? Hmm … Okay, here it goes …
I, West, am in love with Alexis.
Yeah, okay, I sound like a total love-struck dumbass.
Love-struck dumbasses aside, it’s the truth. Our little friendship love triangle is actually a square; has been since a certain night a couple of years ago when Alexis and I stayed up playing cards and drinking whiskey, and I poured my heart and soul out to her—drunkenly, of course.
I told her how my parents’ constant fighting was messing with my head, although I left out the part about how they
were fighting with me, too. I’ve never told anyone about the stuff that goes on in my house behind closed doors, the abuse, the fucking mind games.
What little I did tell Lex, though, made me wonder if she’d laugh at me. But she didn’t. which sort of surprised me. Before then, we’d always latched on to the opportunity to make fun of one another. But she didn’t that time. She hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay.
“I promise it’ll get better,” she assures me.
“How do you know that?” My voice cracks. “Maybe it won’t. Truthfully, it never does.”
“Because you’re you,” she says, pulling me closer. “I’d probably never admit this while sober, but you’re, like, the strongest person I know. Well, besides me. But I’m a freakin’ anomaly.”
I chuckle, but on the inside, I’m wound up tight.
God, she smelled so good that night. Like whiskey and strawberries. I wanted to take a bite. The thought had startled me at the time, but not enough to stop me from getting hard. But seriously? Since when had Alexis turned me on? We’d been frenemies forever, and I’d never thought of her that way before. Okay, maybe I had a couple of times.
Alexis is gorgeous, even though she doesn’t realize it. She doesn’t show off her sexiness either, like Masie or some of the other girls in our school. And she’s smart, which is always a bonus. She always seems more interested in books and art than hooking up.
Anyway, back at the time, I hadn’t admitted all of that to myself. As she hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay, though, all I could think was, Damn, she smells so good, and she’s so damn warm. Plus, it had been a long time since someone had hugged me. I found myself wanting to kiss her, and I probably would’ve, too, if Blaine hadn’t woken up from being passed out on the floor and puked all over the carpet.
Yep, if that won’t kill the mood, I don’t know what will.
It didn’t really matter. That vomit probably saved me from making an ass out of myself.
After the moment Lex and I shared, I was a goner, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. And no, I didn’t fall in love with her then. It took some time, a year at least of hanging out with her and trying not to ask if she wanted to reenact my favorite porn scenes.
It wasn’t just about that, though. The truth is, underneath her rough exterior, Lex is kind, caring, and funny as hell. And she’s fucking strong. She’s been through so much and still manages to be this badass, stud-wearing, joking, sexy as hell woman who pushes through the pain the best that she can. And yeah, she constantly teases me, but only because I give her shit all the time. Honestly, I think it’s our way of flirting, even if she’ll never admit it. And I love getting her to smile. She deserves to smile all the damn time. But after her parents died, those smiles became less and less frequent. If I could, I’d try to make her smile all the time.
Since she’s never given any sign of reciprocating my feelings, I’ve kept how I feel locked away. I’m good at that—locking shit away where no one can find it. I’m good at pretending things are always okay. Just like I’m fantastic at pretending I haven’t been in love with Lex for a while.
Yeah, I know. I’m pathetic. I just can’t seem to help how I feel, just like Lex can’t help how she feels, just like Blaine can’t help how his dick feels, and Masie can’t help how she needs to be the center of attention twenty-four seven.
Feelings completely suck. They really do. Sometimes I think I’d be better off without them. So far, I haven’t figured out how to make that happen, which is why I’m still here with Lex, even after she tells me to get lost.
I park at the curb and push the shifter into park. “Now, is that any way to talk to your friend?” I tease, sneaking in a moment to discreetly check her out, unsure of what she’d do if she actually caught me. Not that I care at the moment.
Her hair is a tangled mess of brown waves that flow down her back; she doesn’t have a drop of makeup on; and her shorts show off her long, lean legs.
Yep, there goes the mental porn show again.
“Your very best friend, for that matter,” I add.
She rolls her eyes. “You’re not my best friend. And really, I doubt you think that.”
I press my hand to my chest. “Wow, that really hurts. After all these years, I thought we were like this.” I hold up my hand with my fingers crossed. “Now, come to find out, I’ve been living a delusional lie.”
“A lie you’ve been telling yourself,” she quips. “I had nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, right, you’ve totally been sending mixed signals.”
She narrows her gaze at me, yet a playful glint flickers in her eyes. “I so have not.”
“You have, too.” I fake pout. “Think about all those times we shared secrets, painted each other’s toenails, and braided each other’s hair.”
She rolls her eyes again. “Hate to break it to ya, but you and Blaine have been doing the BFF thing all wrong. That’s not what best friends do.”
“Well, don’t tell him that.” I wink. “I like getting my hair braided.”
She eyeballs my chin-length, blond hair and smirks. “I bet you do. And I bet you look really pretty, too.”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty?”
“Pretty annoying.”
“Ouch, Lex, you’re aiming straight for my heart today.”
Her gaze drops to the ground, and I get the feeling she’s trying to hide the hurt flooding her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m in a shitty mood,” she mumbles, kicking at the dirt with the tip of her boot. “Sorry. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” I pause, unsure of what the right thing to say is, or if there’s even a right thing to say. “Masie called me about an hour ago.”
Her gaze snaps up to mine, her eyes so big and gorgeous yet conveying so much pain that it makes me want to punch Blaine and burn all of Masie’s clothes because, to her, that’s about the equivalent of a kick to the balls.
She eyes me over warily. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“That you caught her and Blaine kissing in the pool.”
“Oh.” She grows silent, her expression guarded. “Aren’t you wondering why that’d upset me?”
I hesitate. “I already know … Have for a while now.”
Her expression plummets, and she starts to step back like she’s going to run away.
“Oh no, you don’t.” I hop out of the car and reach to grab ahold of her, but she’s already spun around and takes off toward the playground.
I could just let her go, let her hide away until she feels like talking, but that’s not really my style. So, I chase after her, and when I catch up to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and haul her back against me. Her back slams into my chest, and she curses like a sailor. Me, I go completely hard as her ass presses against me.
God, that feels so good … like, really good. I want to kiss her so damn badly …
God, this whole love thing is getting completely out of hand.
“Um, West?” she says with a nervous edge in her tone. “You doing okay back there?”
I suddenly realize three things:
1. She’s gone still in my arms.
2. I have her pressed so close that she can probably feel my hard-on.
3. My lips have wandered to her neck, and I’ve started to suck on her skin. Like, one step away from I’m-going-to-suck-your-blood kind of suck.
“Yeah?” I clear my throat a stupid amount of times.
Normally, I’m not such a babbling pussy. I can be quite charming when I want to be, even when I’m feeling like shit. In fact, I’m a pro at covering up what I’m feeling. But, with Alexis, I’m way too aware that my feelings for her will end with my heart ripped out of my chest.
See? Again, point proven—feelings suck.
“Are you sure?” She sounds confused. “Or, have you recently been bitten by a vampire? If you’re not sure, we can cross-reference your symptoms with the vampire symptoms li
st. I’m sure there’s something on the internet.”
Okay, now she just sounds amused.
My lips part with a snarky comeback, but she interrupts me.
“Stupid, shit, damn, crap, troll babies.” She’s breathing so heavily you’d think the damn girl just ran a marathon.
“Well, that was attractive,” I joke with a smirk.
“I’m not trying to be attractive.” She wiggles out of her arms, spins around, and crouches down in front of me, putting her face right by my dick. “Masie’s over there in the parking lot.”
I glance to my right and, sure enough, Masie is wandering around the parking lot, glancing inside cars. Still, that doesn’t explain …
“Look, I get why you don’t want to see her”—I slip my fingers through her hair, fighting the urge to push her closer to my dick—“but I’m really confused about how acting like you’re going to suck me off is going to keep her from spotting you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if we were in my car, I’d totally let you suck away. But I don’t want our first time to be in front of half the damn neighborhood.”
She trips to her feet. The shocked look on her face has me verging toward laughing my ass off, but the flush spreading across her cheeks distracts me.
God, she’s so beautiful …
I start to step forward to … well, I’m not sure, but something that’ll definitely only get more blood pumping through me. Then I get cock-blocked by a blonde-haired, screaming banshee running across the grass straight at us.
“Lex!” Masie screeches, waving her hands in the air like we can’t already see or hear her. Everyone within a five-mile radius probably can.
Alexis gives me a helpless, pleading look. It’s a look that would get me to agree to do anything, even eat a banana. And no, I’m not kidding, Bananas are weird with their mushy texture. They shouldn’t even be considered food.
“I don’t want to talk to her,” Alexis says, her big eyes pleading with me to help her.
Signed with a Kiss: A Novel (Signed with a Kiss Series Book 1) Page 3