Bedding The Best Friend (Bedding the Bachelors, Book 4)
Page 5
Those few seconds of bliss with his lips finally touching hers in a far less friendly way than normal.
Annie turned onto her other side, then onto her back. She tried to think about something else. Anything else. She tried to imagine what her trip was going to be like and what the handsome stranger she was going to meet on a dance floor would look like. She closed her eyes, and she saw nothing but Ryan’s face, and Ryan’s body…
“Damn it!” she said, sitting up and turning the light back on. She reached into her nightstand drawer and took out her e-reader. She would focus on a good old-fashioned mystery to take her mind off Ryan, and then hopefully she could get some sleep. She turned it on and pulled up the newest book she’d downloaded. It was by someone she’d never read before, but it was a murder mystery with little to no romance.
Perfect.
She read the first paragraph, but she couldn’t get past the mixture of anxiety, confusion, and anticipation churning inside her to focus on the story.
Being with Ryan, kissing Ryan, had felt so right. For those brief moments, she’d felt like herself rather than the woman she was trying so hard to change herself into. Not that change wasn’t good, she hurriedly reminded herself, but now she had to wonder—was she really ready to go through with what was left on the list?
Yes!
Only a coward would turn back now.
With determination, Annie started reading.
And promptly thought of Ryan and that kiss again.
“Argh!” Annie put the e-reader down and stared at the ceiling for a solid minute before her phone rang. She glanced at her cell phone screen and saw it was Ryan. Her heartbeat accelerated, and damn it, she got wet just looking at his avatar on her phone.
“Hey,” she said, annoyed at the husky sound of her voice. She cleared her throat. “What’s up?”
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
"I can’t seem to sleep," she said truthfully.
"I’m not surprised.”
Annie’s heart started beating faster. What did that mean? Was he implying that she wouldn’t be able to sleep because she was thinking about him? About the kiss they’d shared?
When she didn’t respond, he said, "I saw something when I was at your place earlier, and I think you meant it to be private.”
For a moment, panic surged through her. He’d been rummaging around under her Christmas tree. There was no way he could tell what was in her present to herself, right? The danged thing hadn’t set itself off and started rattling around in the box, had it?
“Annie, I know where you’re going tomorrow. And I know what your plans are.”
She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. Oh God, it was even worse than she’d feared. He knew. Her best friend knew she was flying to Vegas tomorrow in order to fuck a stranger. Oh God.
"I wasn’t snooping. I knocked some photos off the fridge, and all I did was pick them up. I saw the flight ticket. And, fuck, Annie, I saw your fucking list."
* * *
Ryan shoved a hand through his hair and worked to calm himself down. Breathe in, breathe out. Slowly, he reminded himself.
Not working.
“Y—You, uh…” Annie’s voice faded out.
Frustration over the list still coursed through his system. This night had given him one surprise after another, and he wasn’t sure if he was standing on his own two feet or hanging upside down. All he knew was that after having dinner with Annie and allowing the knowledge that she had a plan to be naughty roll around in his head, he realized he couldn’t let her do it.
She might look a little different now, but she was still his Annie. Sweet. A good girl. Someone for whom sex meant something.
"You’re not going to Vegas and having a one-night stand," he declared. "You can go to Vegas and get a tattoo, I have no problem with that, I’ll even come with you, but you most definitely cannot go fuck a stranger."
"Excuse me?" Annie’s voice was quiet, firm, and irritated.
Dangerously so.
What did she have to be irritated about? He was the one having his world turned upside down. He couldn’t think straight since he’d seen that list. Since he’d kissed her. He didn’t know what was going on with the whirling emotions inside of him, but there was one thing he did know. He couldn’t let her go to Vegas and hook up with some random guy. She’d end up hating herself.
He forced out a breath. "Come on, Annie. You’re hardly making wise decisions. With the weight you’ve lost, you have to be taking something. Something unhealthy. And now there’s this list."
"Those are my decisions to make," she said slowly, an edge of steel in her voice. "And you have no right to dictate to me what I can and cannot do. I’ve lived my life doing exactly what other people have expected of me. I’ve always been a good girl. I’ve been fine with that. But in case you haven’t noticed, Ryan, I’ve changed. And I want to explore this new side of me."
He didn’t want any part of this new side of her. She was perfect the way she was before. His jaw tightened. "You think because you’ve lost a little weight that it’s okay to compromise your principles?"
"How dare you!" she all but shouted. "This isn’t about compromising who I am. This is about exploring who I’ve always wanted to be—a person who’s comfortable in her own body and not afraid to show it. This is about me reaching for the stars and grabbing them."
Had she really wanted to be a little looser with her sexuality? And if so, why did that make him so frustrated? He had no right to judge her for that.
But still…
He didn’t want to see her get hurt. He cleared his throat. "Just so you know, casual sex isn’t that great.”
On the other end of the line, he heard her inhale sharply. Then she said, “Really. Is that why you’ve had so little of it?”
His silence answered her loud and clear.
"Yeah." She gave a harsh laugh. "That’s what I thought."
“Yeah, I obviously have a problem with commitment. That’s not you.”
"Ryan, I know you’re worried for me, and I appreciate your concern, but I need to do this."
“Tell me what this trip to Vegas is really about.”
“Why? So you can tell me again what a stupid idea it is?”
“I won’t. I promise. I’m sorry I came off like a Neanderthal. It’s just…that list took me by surprise. You’ve taken me by surprise. You look different. You seem to want different things. I just—I don’t even know if I know you anymore, and that scares me.”
The vulnerability in his words seemed to give her pause and penetrate her anger, because she hesitated for a few seconds. When she spoke, her voice was softer. Gentler. “You know me, Ryan. I’m the same person. I just want to be more adventurous. I want to know what being a bad girl has to offer. I didn’t get to explore my bad side so much in high school, with my mom being sick and me having to take care of my dad and my sister, but… It’s never too late, right?”
His mind scrambled for an answer that would be supportive yet not so supportive that it would encourage her on her reckless path. Okay, so he could see how she might want to be more adventurous. But, damn it, she couldn’t put herself in danger. How could he help give her what she needed but in a way that was safe?
The idea came to him out of nowhere, shocking him.
But he leaped on it instantly.
“Annie, as you pointed out, I’ve had casual sex. More than I’m proud of. Honestly, it’s just not that great. Sex is better with someone you care about.”
“Well, I’m not going to have casual sex with someone I care about, Ryan, so…”
“Why not?”
She blew out a breath. “Because I’m not dating anyone right now.”
“You want to be a bad girl, right? Well, you can be pretty darn bad in ways that don’t involve getting on that plane tomorrow.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Have casual sex with me. Now. On the phone.”
Chapter Four
Wait—what had Ryan just said? Have phone sex with him? Annie’s chest tightened up on her, and suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. He was joking, right? He couldn’t be serious. “Now you’re just messing with me, Ryan, and I don’t appreciate it.” She more than didn’t appreciate it. She started to get angry. How dare he play games about something that was so important to her? Was the idea of her being a bad girl that ridiculous to him?
“I’m completely serious, Annie.”
“Sure you are,” she scoffed. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you about my list—I knew you’d try to talk me out of it. You just need to accept that I’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“You’ve given a lot of thought to having sex with a complete stranger?” he said, his incredulity clear even across the phone line. “Really? Because the Annie I know would never do that.”
“You don’t know everything about me,” she said. “Maybe I like hot, anonymous sex.”
“Maybe you don’t know how dangerous the things on your list can be,” he said with genuine concern in his voice. “Have you thought about that, Annie? What if you hook up with some weirdo that takes advantage of you?”
“I trust my judgment,” she said, even though her belly had knotted. “I’m willing to take the risks. I need to take risks. I’m tired of masturbating myself silly,” she impulsively blurted. But she wasn’t backing down now.
“Maybe you should have told me that sooner,” he shot back. “Because, like I said, I’m willing to help out, especially because keeping you safe is the most important thing in the world to me.”
Her head was reeling. Ryan was serious. “What are you suggesting…exactly?” she asked.
“You and I are best friends, right? Friends don’t let friends stay horny, or put themselves in dangerous situations. You can stay right here in San Fran, and I can help you get the release you’re looking for. I’ll pretend to be your fantasy dude. You do have a fantasy dude, right? Someone you imagine as you get yourself off?”
Wow. Again with the masturbation talk. But she had brought it up first. Her heart pounded wildly. She had to act calm. Cool. “Of course I do.”
“Tell me his name.”
“What?”
“His name. Who is it? Do you get off to some famous actor or a rock god?”
She got off to him, but that was the last thing she’d ever confess. “Let’s just call him…Kyle.”
“Fine. I’ll pretend to be Kyle. Just imagine it’s Kyle whose voice is on the other end of the line. That it’s Kyle who wants to fuck you. And Annie…” He surprised her when he hesitated for a moment, but then he continued. "It’s okay to want to be wild sometimes. It’s okay to fantasize about it. And to let loose with someone you can trust.”
“You?” she said dumbly.
“Sure. Well, me pretending to be Kyle. But mostly you. Touching yourself is always more fun when you have a partner, don’t you think?”
“Ryan…” She paused, not knowing what else to say.
The line was silent for several seconds. “What are you wearing, Annie?” he asked, a low timbre entering his voice.
Annie flushed. Her whole body tingled. “I’m not sure I can do this . . . with you.”
“It’s not me you’re talking to. It’s not me you’re fantasizing about. Now close your eyes and see me. See Kyle. Tell Kyle what you’re wearing.”
She swallowed hard, gripped the phone harder, and opened her mouth to tell him. She barely stopped herself.
“Feeling shy, Annie? That’s okay. You can be shy and still be a naughty girl.”
“How?” she croaked out.
“Tell me you’re not wearing anything. Tell me your sexy body is lying naked against your soft sheets,” he said in a sexy whisper that traveled right through the phone and down her spine.
Her face was burning up, and the heat was traveling down her neck into her chest. The urge to answer him, to play, to be the bad girl, swamped her. Could she really do this?
Could she not?
She had no idea what to say. Not only was this Ryan, but she’d never had phone sex before. Even at his urging, even with him pretending to be a fantasy guy, the idea of telling him she was naked seemed overwhelming. Like she’d be exposing her entire self, including her heart and all her feelings for him, too. But if her whole goal was to get over him by transforming herself into someone more confident and naughty…
Well, phone sex would certainly count, so she had to do this.
She could say she was wearing sexy lingerie, but that seemed so predictable. She decided to go with the truth. “Let’s say I’m wearing a long, button-up nightshirt right now,” she blurted out.
“Okay,” he said, “as long as it’s just a shirt.”
She automatically giggled, then stifled it with horror. Jeez, she was a nerd.
He chuckled. “It’s okay. We can have fun. This is all about having fun, right?”
Fun. Right. Good, safe, naughty fun.
Smiling to herself, she raised a brow. “What are you wearing, Ryan?”
“Huh?”
Good. She’d caught him off guard. Two can play this game. “You must have fantasies, as well.”
He was quiet again for a few seconds, and then he said, “You’re pretending I’m Kyle, right?”
“Of course,” she said, loving that she’d thrown him off balance. His insistence that she pretend he was someone else almost ruined the whole naughty phone sex vibe. Almost. “So…Kyle.” The name came out of her mouth as a purr. “Tell me what you’re wearing. Or, rather, what you’re not wearing,” she said, amazed at how smoothly the words came out of her mouth once she allowed herself to slide into the fantasy.
“I’m not naked yet, but close.”
Annie didn’t say anything. She was picturing him “almost” naked.
“Unbutton your shirt for me, Annie,” Ryan—no, Kyle—quietly said. “Unbutton it, slowly. Rub your fingers gently across your soft, pretty skin each time you undo a button.”
His voice was hypnotizing her. She realized that she was fingering the first button on her top, toying with it but not actually undoing it yet.
“What are you doing, Annie?” he said, his voice like a caress, causing goose bumps to race down both her arms.
“I’m lying in bed, listening to you.”
“Good, then really listen to me. Undo your buttons, then stroke your breasts with your fingertips and imagine it’s me touching you.”
She shivered. Slowly, she slipped one button out of its hole. “I’ve unbuttoned the top one.”
“Good. Keep going.”
“I’ve undone the next.”
“And?”
“And…my fingertips are rubbing across my breasts.” She closed her eyes, imagining it was Ryan touching her.
“Are your nipples hard?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “They’re hard,” she said, still not believing that she was doing this. With Ryan. But he wasn’t Ryan, not really. He was Ryan pretending to be someone else. That was the only way he’d ever have sex with her, but hey, she’d take it.
“Take off the shirt, Annie.”
She didn’t hesitate. She set the phone down and put it on speaker. Then she pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it aside.
“Are you naked now?” His sexy voice filled the room.
“Almost,” she said in an already breathless voice. “I still have panties on. Red lace.”
He sucked in a hissing breath. “Take them off, too. I want you naked for me.”
Annie did as he told her. The idea of him on the other end of the phone, knowing she was lying here naked, was turning her on like crazy. He sounded as turned on as she was. Did he like fantasy sex, too? Was he pretending she was someone else? He must be.
“Now, close your eyes,” he told her.
Annie laid her head back on the soft pillow and closed her eyes.
“Are they closed?”
“Mm hmm.”
She moaned softly.
“That’s it, Annie. Let yourself feel me, baby.”
The sound of his voice, the picture of him in her mind, and the fact that he just called her “baby” instead of his usual “babe” made her squeeze her thighs together as warmth pooled between them.
“Slide your fingers lower. Run them across the swell of your pretty breasts. Pretend it’s me—Kyle—taunting you, threatening to dip even lower and touch your nipples.”
He could say he was the fictitious Kyle all he wanted. All she heard was Ryan. He was all she saw. All she felt.
She shivered as she complied. Her nipples ached, and she really wanted to touch them, but she was enjoying the game. She was enjoying taking his direction, so she waited.
“Slide your hand down. Graze one of your hard nipples with your palm and tell me how it feels.”
She ran the palm of her hand across her nipples, and then she pressed down and rubbed one of them in circles. The ache he stirred in her to be touched was overwhelming.
“It feels…so…good,” she said in a strangled voice.
“I’m glad, baby. I wish I could see you. Tell me what your breasts look like.”
“What?”
“Describe them for me.”
She bit her lip. “They’re on the small side…”
“I bet they’re a perfect handful. What color are your nipples? Brown? Pink?”
“A little of both,” she breathed. “Ryan…”
“Keep going, Annie. Are your nipples tight and aching for me?”
“Yes,” she moaned.
“Good. Now, tug a nipple between your fingers.”
She whimpered, prompting him to say, “Hell, yeah. I love hearing that. Use your other hand and pull on both nipples now.”
“Ah…oh….” Annie’s pussy was soaked. She wanted to touch it so bad, but he hadn’t told her to. Not yet.
"You have beautiful breasts. Just thinking about them and about you touching yourself is making me so hard, Annie.”
“Your voice . . . you are making me so wet,” she said in a husky whisper, feeling her need for him run slowly down between her thighs.