by Ami Le Coeur
She pulled back and then kissed me on the tip of my nose. “Okay. I can be patient, too.” She hugged me again. “I feel better now. Lots better. Thank you for coming and getting me tonight. My heart sings and dances when I think of you, too.”
Then she wiggled, her signal for me to let her down and I let her slip to the ground. She adjusted her crutches and tossed her backpack on her shoulder. Then she gave me a big grin and walked over to Officer Reynolds. “Sorry for causing so much trouble tonight, and thank you,” she said and he got down on his haunches so they were eye to eye.
“No trouble at all, young lady,” he told her. “I’m really glad to know you’re okay. But do me a favor and promise to never do that again. None of us needs that kind of scare.” He held out a fist and Emily bumped it.
She giggled. “I promise.”
She gave us all a little wave and then walked to her mother who was standing on the front porch, her arms crossed over her chest. The door opened, spilling light into the darkness. Then it closed again. The light and my little girl were gone.
Chapter 10 – Maria
I didn’t say a word, just reached over and placed a hand on Thom’s muscular thigh, pleased when I noticed that he seemed to relax the tiniest bit from my touch.
We’d driven a few miles before he blew out a breath and dropped a hand to mine, its warmth enfolding my fingers, his thumb caressing my skin.
“You did the right thing.”
It was a simple phrase, five little words that seemed to have the impact of a bomb. He jerked in surprise. He wasn’t expecting them, I could tell. What had he expected?
“You did the right thing.”
Maybe hearing them a second time, the meaning behind them would sink in. It was another mile before they did. I felt them penetrate him and his rejection of them.
“It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I let her down. Again.”
“You made the right choice in a bad situation. And you’ll continue to make right choices until things are the way they need to be. I know you. That is who you are.”
He let go of my hand and slammed his fist against the steering wheel. I didn’t jump. I was expecting this reaction. He never gave himself the benefit of the doubt.
“You think too highly of me,” he said, his voice low. “If I made the right choices, Emily wouldn’t be in this situation right now. She would be safe. She wouldn’t be afraid. Feel the need to run away. No. My choices have been far from right.”
“What choices would you change if you could?”
I remembered my therapist asking me that question after the accident and how upset I’d gotten when she kept pressing on and on and on, helping me see what was beyond my control and what wasn’t.
“I wouldn’t have gotten involved with Rachel.” His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.
“Then you wouldn’t have had Emily, so you made the right choice back then. What else?”
He thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t allow my brain to take over. The flashbacks. The nightmares. I’d have control, not be so damn weak.”
I huffed. “Do you think the thousands of soldiers who suffer from PTSD are weak?”
“No!” The answer was immediate.
“That’s essentially what you just said. That every person who has gone through trauma, or the horrors of war, should have the ability to control their mind. And if they didn’t, they’re weak.”
I watched him process what I’d said. Resist it and finally accept it. “That’s not what I meant.”
Raising my hand to rest on his forearm, I stroked his skin with my thumb. “I know it isn’t, but it’s what you think about yourself. That you should be better than all the thousands of others. Stronger. More resistant. You’re a human being, my love. With the same brain and cells as the rest of us. The same emotional responses. You, like most of the billions of people on this planet, are just doing their best. Every single day.”
“But—”
“But nothing, Thom. Most men who come back from war have at least some small circle of loving people to help ease them back into their world. You didn’t. You had that… that… that woman, who is clearly only concerned with herself. Who clearly manipulates everyone and everything to her advantage. Who clearly took advantage of your vulnerability after some pretty horrific events, and then twisted and turned them on you.”
“But—”
“If I know you at all, I know you tried hard to make her happy. You tried hard to create a life for the three of you. A life any normal woman would relish. She’s not normal, Thom. And it’s not your fault and it isn’t under your control and you can do nothing about who she is as a person and…”
I stopped my tirade. Thom was… laughing.
I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. “What’s so funny?”
A squeal escaped me as he suddenly swerved off the road and into a dark parking lot. He thrust the Suburban into park and turned to me, wiping the tears from his eyes, his shoulders still shaking from his sudden humor.
“You.” He reached out and laid his palm on my cheek. “Only you, on one of the darkest nights of my life, could bring me this type of joy. Only you, on one of the darkest nights of my life, could help me find the light.”
I melted, pressing my cheek harder into his warm palm. “Thom. You’re my light too.”
His eyes, already reflecting the glow from the dashboard, seemed to grow brighter and darker at the same time. He leaned toward me and I leaned toward him until our lips touched in the softest, most gentle kiss I’ve ever experienced.
“I love you, Maria,” he whispered against my lips, his breath warm and humid. I inhaled it, breathing all of him in, taking him into my lungs, letting it suffuse through my body.
Then I exhaled the words that had dwelled inside me for so long. “I love you too.”
In that moment, everything clicked into place. All the random shattered pieces of my life, everything I’d questioned before, no longer mattered. The whys disappeared. The hurts healed. Hope and meaning were given new life as everything worth having shifted into exactly where it belonged. For the first time since my accident, I knew my purpose.
He loved me. He loved me. I felt it coming off of him like waves, enveloping me in its warmth.
“Let’s go home.”
He leaned into my lips again, softly and then with more urgency. Then he pulled away, put the Suburban into drive and took my hand. He didn’t let go until we were home.
###
For the second time that night, he carried me into my house, leaving my wheelchair, abandoned and unneeded, in his car.
He walked straight to my bedroom—a man on a mission—and lay me on the bed like I was a woman, not a fragile china doll. His lips were hungry as they feasted on mine. I feasted back, sucking his tongue into my mouth before letting it go to nibble at his bottom lip.
“I’d like a bath.”
Skeereechchhhch
If a record had been playing in the background, that’s the sound it would have made as my words ripped the needle across this moment. His entire body stilled and he raised upon an elbow, breathing heavily as he looked down at me with the funniest ‘what the hell’ look I’d ever seen.
I grinned up at him, only a little embarrassed. I was about to make love—really make love—for the first time and… “I’d like to freshen up before…”
I’d read romance novels where the woman hiked through the jungle, fought off tigers and then smelled fresh as a rose as her man made long lingering love to her. But, dang it, this was real life and I’d been tense and sweating for the past couple hours. I had enough dignity to not do a pit sniff, but I really, really, really didn’t want to be worried about such things when he… my stomach clenched… put his mouth on me again.
“A bath, huh?” He was grinning at me too, tracing a finger down my nose and across my lips. “I think I can do that.” He kissed me again, then pushed himself from the bed. A moment lat
er, I heard water begin to fill the tub.
I sat up, remembering my wheelchair was still outside, and wondered what I should do. I glared at my legs for a moment, willing them to work again so I could stand up and maybe do a little strip tease for my man before stepping in the tub, beckoning him to follow me.
But… I was stuck so I sat there and waited. Waited for the man I loved to come back and take care of me.
Listening to the noises he made, I recognized the sound of a match. He was lighting my candles for me, I realized. The smell of jasmine wafted from the room and I knew he’d sprinkled some of my oil into the water. I smiled, imagining this huge man and his big hand swirling the water to disburse the scent.
I nearly jumped when he stepped through the door and I looked down, realizing he’d kicked off his shoes. My eyes swept up him and paused at the bulge still on display at his center, the bulge that might have been inside me right now if I’d not blurted out those silly words.
“Let’s see,” he said, when I met his eyes again, his pupils still dilated with lust. “Shirt first or pants. Choices, choices, choices.”
I couldn’t breathe enough to speak, so I just lifted my arms.
A smile curved his lips as he stepped closer and grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it up and off. Then his arms slipped behind me and unhooked my bra. I exhaled as the weight of my breasts released when he slid the straps off my shoulders.
“So beautiful,” he murmured as his thumbs swept over my nipples. They hardened instantly at his touch. He carefully lay me back on the bed and began the process of sliding my pants down my legs.
Left in nothing but panties, I watched him watch me, the bulge in his pants growing more pronounced. His hands touched my knees and moved up the flesh of my thighs before hooking his fingers in my soft material and slowly… achingly slowly … pulling them down my hips and off.
I was mesmerized. Breathless. Hot desire spiraling through my core. Then I remembered. “The water.”
He snapped to, turned and rushed into the bathroom. I smiled as I heard him curse. Then the water was off and then there were other sounds. Water draining. A mopping sound. We’d installed a special tub for me after the accident, but even as large as it was, it had apparently overflowed. By the sounds of things, probably a lot.
Dammit. Would I ever have that thick, glorious cock inside me? Ever know what it was like to actually have sex? Ever—
“Sorry about that,” he said, grinning from the door. I relaxed, grinning back. It was going to be worth the wait.
Stepping forward, he effortlessly lifted me from the bed, a big sweeping motion that made me laugh. He kissed my forehead. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this? Carry you naked to your tub. Wash your back?”
“Your wish is my command,” I said, snapping my fingers. “You can wash anything you want.”
His eyes darkened again and he blew out a breath. “You’re killing me, you know that?”
I grinned at him again. “No, I’m breathing life into you. Just like you’re breathing it into me.”
He kissed me and managed to still walk me into the bathroom, his lips never leaving mine. Then he lowered me into the water and I sank into its warm frothiness. I relaxed and went under. All the way under, cocooned below the surface.
Reaching for the handle, I pulled myself up and he pushed the water from my eyes. “Join me.” I didn’t need to ask him twice.
He stood and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his muscular abs, chest and shoulders. Then his pants were pooling at his feet, then his boxers. Oh my. He was as big as I remembered.
I scooted forward and he climbed in behind me. Soon his heat was at my back. His hands found my breasts beneath the surface of the water, cupping them before squeezing my nipples.
I moaned and he squeezed them again.
Desire became a living thing and I twisted around to find his mouth. Between the two of us, we managed to get me turned so I could straddle him, his hard cock between my legs.
“I didn’t bring a condom in here,” he whispered against my lips and I nearly deflated in disappointment. He chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m going to be inside you soon enough.” Then he plunged his fingers up and into me, hard and quick, driving me toward a madness I couldn’t see.
“Oh yes, please don’t stop.”
“I’ll never stop.”
His teeth were on my neck, biting my skin, maybe marking me. I didn’t care. All I cared about were the sensations… oh god the sensations… I felt below my waist.
Pleasure exploded and I cried out, feeling my eyes roll back in my head. His fingers slowed, but stayed inside me. “I love making you come,” he said before he took my mouth again.
He kissed me while I shuddered around him. Kissed me when I was recovering the strength to kiss him back. Then his hands were in my hair, pushing it back from my face. Then he was massaging my scalp and I smelled the shampoo he’d gotten from somewhere.
I straightened in his lap as he washed my hair, down to the very tips. His fingers were magic as they moved to my shoulders, the slickness of the shampoo moving them easily across my skin.
Turning on the water, he picked up the hand-held nozzle. “Lean your head back.” I did what I was told and soon the bubbles were rinsing away. He reached for my conditioner and plopped a huge gob in his hand.
I touched his face, traced its strong contours while he finger-combed the silky conditioner through my hair. Then he was soaping me, using his hands to wash my arms and back, then my breasts.
His fingers slipped below the water, finding me again, a washcloth now moving between my legs. He brought it around and washed my buttocks, and I blushed as he moved it down the center of my ass.
While he rinsed the conditioner and soap bubbles away, I ran my fingers across his chest, lightly teasing his nipples. To my surprise, they hardened immediately, stiffening with my slightest touch. I smiled, feeling a lovely sense of control, knowing I could make his body respond to me, in the same way as he controlled mine.
“I want to make love to you now,” he said. “In your bed. On top of you. I need you, Maria. Now.”
“Yes.”
He placed my fingers on the handles of the tub, then stood up and I watched the water rushed down his length. He was a magnificent creature. So strong. So powerful. So mine.
He stepped out of the tub and then reached for me. Sitting me, shivering, on the stool. He wrapped me in towels, turbaning one on my head. Then he rubbed and patted me dry. I was in awe at his knowledge of exactly the right things to do. But I was in even more awe as I watched him dry himself. I longed to reach out and run my hand down his back, along his well-shaped buttocks, around the front to cup his balls.
Then, before I knew it, I was on my bed and he was at my feet, rolling a condom down his length. He pressed my legs apart, growling under his breath. His mouth found me. His tongue. His teeth. He devoured me, drove me insane.
He climbed up my body, his tongue tracing a path up my stomach, breasts and neck. He paused, his cock nudging my folds.
“Ready?” he asked, his lips barely touching mine.
I stifled a grin as I gazed into those half-lidded eyes. “You have to ask?”
With a thrust of his hips, he was inside me. Deep. To the root. I cried out and he took the sound into his mouth, and along with it, my tongue. My fingers dug into him, clutching him. Feeling him.
Oh God. I felt him.
Felt something.
Felt everything.
He began to move, long sure strokes that rocked me beneath him. “You feel so good,” he said. “So hot. So tight.”
“I love you, Thom.”
He picked up speed. Thrusting harder and harder into me. “God, I love you too.”
It was almost too much. His weight. His mouth. His invasion. But I held onto his shoulders, my arms wrapped around him. Taking him into my body over and over and over.
Things tightened inside me and I was pulled by a cu
rrent of sensation I didn’t want to swim against. I let it take me, float me, pull me where it wanted until I exploded around him. Exploded and imploded simultaneously.
He growled, thrusting harder, our bodies slapping against each other. A beautiful rhythm of sound.
Impossibly, I felt myself tightening again and this time I fought it. I couldn’t handle it again. I knew I couldn’t. But I did.
Thom did too.
He roared, his body stiffening before thrusting a few more times, then stilled.
I was weeping. Thom soothed me, licking away my tears. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, trying to pull away. I wouldn’t let him. I made him stay on me. In me. Holding me so tight I found it harder and harder to breathe.
I didn’t care.
I wanted the moment to last forever. The sensations of pain and pleasure. Exhaustion and utter aliveness.
I’d made love. To the man I loved.
He didn’t let me go, but rolled over, pulling me with him, his body still inside of mine. I lay my head on his chest, melting my skin against his. I don’t remember falling asleep.
Chapter 11 – Maria
I watched Thompson put his tools away, as careful and meticulous with them as he’d been that afternoon, helping me finally put some order to the chaos that was my painting area. I liked the way things had turned out—everything looked so much better, and it wasn’t just the absence of all the paintings stacked against the wall. Now I had shelves and cubbies for my paintings and supplies. I was sure my sis Ange would approve of what we’d done—especially since it would now be so much easier to get to what I needed without having to enlist her help.
A place for everything, and everything in its place.
I always liked that saying, even if it was difficult for my creative spirit to live there every day. Being wheelchair-bound didn’t make it any easier, but it certainly made it more important.
“Thanks, Thom. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”