If what she said was true, she had just learned about my desire for a child that day. That meant she’d had mere hours to consider her options before pitching the idea to me. I was struck by how selfless the notion was, how kind this woman was. I knew in my heart that it could cause problems in the long term, especially if both of our feelings came to light. Our working relationship could be ruined, and I could lose the closest friend I had. Yet, at the same time, there was the chance that we could become something more.
That chance, as much as I would have liked to deny it, made the decision for me.
“All right. All right, I think that could work,” I said thoughtfully. Her eyes lit up with surprise and delight, and she reached out to grip my hand. She seemed ready to burst into tears again, but she managed to regain her composure and pump my hand as if it had been her intention to simply shake it the entire time.
“So we’re in agreement? We’re actually going to do this?” she asked, as if to make sure she wasn’t merely dreaming.
I smiled, drawing her hand toward me with the intention to kiss it, then stopping myself short, not wanting to push the boundaries right away. It was my turn to shake her hand, and she was swift to jerk her sweaty palm away. God, her embarrassment was far too endearing.
“We’re going to have a baby. I think… Obviously, we need to discuss it more. How about we wrap it up here, and I’ll take you to my place to discuss things in a bit more depth?” I suggested.
I could tell by the flare of red in Ashley’s cheeks that she wanted a lot more than talking to happen at my place. Warmth rolled in my stomach at the thought, and I would have liked nothing more than to take her straight to bed. Still, this situation warranted further conversation.
More than anything, I wanted to be sure that Ashley wasn’t making a mistake. It was easy enough to say that things wouldn’t get complicated, but to hold true to that promise was an entirely different story. Then again, I wasn’t sure I could have denied her either way.
“That sounds…nice,” she said gently, rising from her seat on unsteady legs. I realized abruptly just how much champagne she’d had, and I circled around the table to help guide her toward the door. We paused on the way out, just long enough for me to pay for dinner, then out the door we went, Ashley stumbling rather clumsily in the direction of my car.
“I had no idea what a lightweight you are,” I said, beginning to wonder if having the discussion at that moment was such a good idea.
“I’m just a bit overwhelmed. Not really drunk. Not…really,” she said with a breathy little laugh. Despite her words, I had to fasten her seatbelt as she settled into the passenger seat, watching me with nothing short of sheer adoration in her gaze. I would’ve been surprised if she hadn’t seen the same reflected in my own. I had to remain calm, however. Someone had to try and keep control of the situation.
I circled around the car, slipping into the driver’s seat and hesitating for a moment. I glanced toward her, noting that her slightly hazy expression was watching my every move.
“Are you sure you’re in any shape to come home with me?” I asked gently. Her lips curled into a sly smile, and she reached out to give me a gentle shove.
“What, are you planning to take advantage of me? After the promise you made?” she teased, and it was all I could do to keep from blushing. “I’m just kidding, Jensen. I’m fine. I’m a bit hazy, but I know that I want to talk about this. I’m afraid I’ll lose my nerve, otherwise,” she finished a bit timidly. Unable to stop the smile spreading across my face, I turned the ignition and shifted into gear.
“All right. We’ll talk. But that’s all you have to do. Don’t feel as if… That is, I wouldn’t expect the conception to be…natural,” I tried to assure her, though her eyes glinted with mischief. I knew whatever she was going to say couldn’t be good for my state of mind.
“And if I told you I wanted it to be natural?” she asked, resting her hand on my thigh. Inhaling a shuddering breath, it was all I could do to not launch myself across the seat and simply have my way with her. That wasn’t how I wanted it to go down, however. I wanted her to have a clear mind, I wanted to be confident that she truly knew what she wanted.
“I’ll fix you some coffee, and we’ll discuss that matter after you’ve sobered up a bit,” I said gently, lacing her fingers with my own and placing our hands firmly on the center console. She pouted slightly, and I’m sure weaker men would have given into her stare. It was all I could do to resist her, but I wasn’t going to be swayed. My hope was that she was just a bit tipsy, and that we could actually discuss the matter at hand.
Seeming content to just hold my hand, Ashley relaxed into her seat and stared out the window. I would have given anything to have been able to read her thoughts in that moment. So many conflicting emotions raced through my body on the short ride to my apartment, and as I pulled into the parking lot, she seemed reluctant to release my hand.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s fix you some coffee,” I said, carefully extracting my hand from her own. She pouted again, but managed to unfasten her seatbelt and lurch out of the car. She straightened up, the cool night air seeming to aid in sobering her up. I offered her my arm, and she took it with a smile before I guided her toward the building.
As she leaned against my side in the elevator, it was all I could do not to embrace her fully. I wanted to feel her lips against my own, feel her breasts heaving against the bare expanse of my chest. I wanted nothing more than to take her, but I had to do right by the woman that could very well bear my child.
When we reached my penthouse, I led her to the sofa before stepping into the kitchen. Within moments, the coffee was brewing, and in another brief moment, I was pouring her a steaming cup.
Gratefully accepting the coffee, Ashley relaxed and sipped from the mug for what seemed an eternity. I settled a respectable distance away from her, sinking into the plush material of the sofa. I watched her, taking pleasure in the way she shifted beneath the intensity of my gaze.
Finally, she sat the empty mug on the coffee table and turned to face me. Her eyes seemed clear of that drunken haze, and while I knew she wouldn’t be entirely sober for a while yet, I knew that the time had come to talk.
Chapter 9
Ashley
Though I still felt a little tipsy, the hot cup of coffee had sobered me up enough to think rationally. I tried not to blush as I thought about the things I’d said without really thinking, though all my words had been rooted in truth. More humiliating was my anxiety attack in the middle of the restaurant, when I made my confession. I wouldn’t be able to blame Jensen if he thought me a fool at that point.
He was watching me with an intensity that I was not quite familiar with. His eyes had darkened with what I could only hope was desire, and as he shifted closer to me, I struggled to form the words to enunciate what I wanted from him. Jensen was apparently nonplussed by my hesitation, however, taking my hand in his own.
“I suppose we should start right at the root of it,” he began, his expression confident as he stroked a thumb to the back of my hand. I reddened at the familiarity behind the touch, feeling foolish for being so easily swept up. “You want to carry my child. That is, be a surrogate for me?” he continued, his voice steady. I shifted uncomfortably, biting my lower lip nervously.
“Well, more so that I would like us to be co-parents…if you would find that acceptable. If I have a child with you, I don’t like the idea of giving up all my rights as a mother. I don’t expect a relationship, but I do expect us to be a team in this,” I said. I hoped it wasn’t too obvious that I was shaken with nerves, but Jensen’s expression remained kind throughout.
“That’s perfectly understandable. I know how badly you’ve wanted a child as well. I wouldn’t take that away from you,” he assured me. I smiled awkwardly, squeezing his hand in an attempt to show my appreciation. “With that settled however, there is the issue of how exactly we will conceive. I don’t intend to hold what you sa
id while you were drunk against you, but—” he began, but I cut him off before he could continue.
“I…uh…would like to conceive naturally. I wasn’t just drunkenly rambling, that’s… I mean, I understand if you’re against it,” I said shyly. He watched me with a gleam in his eyes, those gorgeous blue orbs tracing along the swells and dips of my curves. It was an obviously appraising look, and I found myself praying that he liked what he saw.
“Can I be frank, Ashley?” he inquired, our eyes locking for a moment. I was too caught up in his stare to attempt to break away, and he reached out to caress my cheek. My breath caught in my throat, and I had to resist the overwhelming desire to press into his touch. My mouth fell open despite my attempts to keep it closed, and he smiled cheekily.
“Of-of course, Jensen,” I managed to stammer out, receiving a reassuring smile in turn.
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you’re well aware. What I mean to say is…I’ve always harbored an attraction toward you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to touch you since I first lay eyes on you,” he said bluntly, oozing confidence, and I found myself unable to keep from smiling. He seemed to be waiting for a response and, considering that it was obviously a full disclosure conversation, I threw caution to the wind.
“The feeling’s mutual. I’m sure you’ve felt my eyes on you at work, I’m not exactly the subtlest woman in the world. Every time you look at me…” I paused as his eyes danced with mirth. “Yes, like that. When you do that, it’s all I can do to keep from kissing you,” I admitted, my face growing almost unbearably hot. His expression changed from one of amusement to something much deeper, almost primal.
“We’ve got our answer then, don’t we?” he said, edging even closer to me. I struggled to remain in one spot, resisting the desire to surge toward him. I wanted him to take the lead, and he seemed all too eager to do so as he tangled a hand in my hair and drew my face closer to his. I squeezed my eyes shut, his breath hot against my lips.
When our lips touched, it was like a thousand electric shocks jolted through my body all at once. I fought to swallow a moan, only partially succeeding as he parted my lips with his tongue, massaging my own into action. He seemed pleased when I gripped his shirt, all but draping myself in his lap as our tongues danced and tangled.
When he drew away, the look he gave me sent a jolt of arousal straight between my thighs. I could feel the steady pulsing of my arousal, feeling embarrassingly wet for all we had done. If all it took was a bit of foreplay for me to come undone at his hands, I couldn’t imagine the pleasure of having him inside of me. The thought was enough to make me squirm and Jensen gripped my hips, his jaw clenching. I became suddenly aware of just what part of him I was wriggling against and parted my lips to apologize, only for him to hungrily smash our mouths together again.
Jensen held me firmly in place against his lap, and I could feel his manhood stiffening as things began to intensify. I drew away, urgently trying to tug my shirt off, and he took the hint, helping me. My chest heaved as he moved to cup my breasts in his hands, the sensation almost agonizingly pleasurable in spite of the thin layer fabric between us. He quickly reached around, unclasping my bra with one swift movement. As it fell away, he ducked his head to latch his lips around one of my swiftly-hardening nipples.
“Jensen,” I cried out helplessly, arching into his mouth. His hips jerked upwards, and I gasped as I felt the bulge of his manhood through his slacks. Unable to control myself, I quickly worked to unbutton his shirt, popping some of the buttons clean off in the process. I blushed, offering him an apologetic smile.
“Eager, aren’t we?” he panted, though it looked as if he were trying very hard to restrain himself.
“Can you blame me?” I whimpered, cursing myself for how needy I sounded.
Jensen smirked, reaching down between us to pop the button on his pants. He shifted them down on his hips, just enough for his straining manhood to pop free from his briefs. He breathed a sigh of relief, and my eyes widened as I took in the sheer size of him. I hesitantly reached down, gripping his girth in my hand. I could feel the steady beating of his pulse against my palm, and I found myself getting more flustered than ever.
“Do you want it?” Jensen whispered huskily, meeting my gaze with a cheeky little smile. My whole body shook from the intensity of my arousal, and I could do little more than softly mewl as he pressed his fingers to the damp fabric of my panties. He stroked me slowly through the fabric. I was nearly falling apart in his grip.
“Jensen, please,” I gasped, breath catching as he pushed my panties aside and pressed the head of his manhood against my entrance. I tensed my hands on his shoulders, bracing myself as I began to lower myself onto him. Inch by inch, he began to fill me up, and unable to support my own weight any longer, I allowed my hands to drop as I pressed my face into his shoulder. As the final inches sank into me, I could only moan as I clenched around his length.
“God, you’re so tight,” he whispered, tangling a hand in my hair. I hummed against his skin, unable to form words as I slowly raised and lowered my hips, sweet ecstasy filling me nearly to the brim. He aided me in my movements, guiding me up and down on his stiff member. I began to pick up the pace, feeling as if I could plummet off of the deep end at any given moment. He moaned encouragingly, angling his hips just so, and as he slammed my hips down against his own, I saw stars.
He continued to push me, harder and harder until I hit my peak with a sudden cry. I clenched around him, my walls flexing to get every drop out of him that I could. He came a moment later, spilling his seed deep inside of me. I felt so pleasantly full, my body aching with sheer pleasure.
“That was… Wow,” I said in a breathy gasp, and he smiled cheekily up at me.
“I aim to please,” he replied, though there was the faintest hint of weariness in his tone. I moved to shift off of him, but he gripped me tightly, refusing to allow me to move. He pressed his lips gently to my own again, and I wrapped my arms around him, breathing a soft sigh. “Would you like to stay the night?” he softly inquired, only a breath separating us. Giddiness washed over me, and it was all I could do to keep my composure.
“I’d love to,” I replied. He wrapped his arms around me, rising to his feet and carrying me to the bedroom. We collapsed on the bed, and a sense of peace washed over me as Jensen began to softly snore at my side. Unable to keep a smile from working its way onto my face, I pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and began to drift off as well.
I couldn’t imagine things getting any better.
Chapter 10
Ashley
He pressed me against the mattress, peppering kisses along the column of my throat. I tangled my hands in his hair, gasping desperately as he pressed the entirety of his length inside of me.
I felt more fulfilled than I’d ever felt before, desperately clinging to the man who was only becoming more important to me as the days passed. We’d been spending more and more time together since that first night, desperately trying to conceive the child we both longed for.
“Jensen,” I moaned as he hit the spot that made my eyes nearly roll back in my head.
He only groaned in response, grazing my neck with his teeth and sucking hard until I was sure a large purple mark would form. I knew the people at work would talk if they saw it, but they’d have no means of knowing who was responsible. We had decided to keep our arrangement to ourselves, for the sake of professionalism. While it seemed inevitable that the news would come out eventually, we wanted to cling to what little privacy we could.
His hands palmed my breasts, and I arched into his touch with a sigh of pleasure. While we had been spending our nights together, making passionate love whenever possible, I was sure I would never tire of the feeling. Sex with Jensen was the most mind-blowing experience I’d ever had, unlike anything else in the world. I wasn’t a virgin by any means, but he blew all my other partners out of the water.
“I’m close,” he whispered against my
skin, his thrusts becoming swifter. I moaned in response, dragging my nails down the expanse of his shoulders. I bounced with the force of each pump into me, and within moments, I was seeing stars again. I whimpered as I came, pressing our lips together as he bottomed out inside of me. Jet after jet of his essence filled me up, and I threw my head back from the sheer force of our passion.
“Oh, God,” I said breathlessly, basking in the afterglow. Jensen smiled at me, brushing a lock of sweat-soaked hair away from my eyes. “What’s the damage this time?” I asked with faint amusement, gesturing to my neck. He looked me over for a moment, smiling cockily.
“I can do worse,” he replied cheekily.
I rolled my eyes, kissing him to quiet him down. In the time we’d been spending together, we’d become almost casually affectionate with each other. Kissing each other while in the privacy of his home had become a part of our routine, to the point that I had to repeatedly remind myself that the situation would not necessarily lead to a relationship between the two of us.
As much as I liked to entertain the idea that Jensen might have found himself falling for me, it was business as usual once I left his penthouse. We exchanged the occasional text message, mainly to arrange the best times to see each other. There hadn’t been a private exchange where we’d not had wild sex, and I knew that taking me out on a date or something similar was the last thing on his mind.
“Don’t you have another business trip tomorrow?” I asked quietly, allowing my eyes to flutter shut as I settled comfortably in his bed. He lay down beside me, drawing me into his arms in a way that made furious butterflies swarm in my gut.
Protect Me - A Steamy Bodyguard Romance (You Can't Resist a Bad Boy Book 5) Page 31