“Friends are overrated,” I said. “One or two true friends is better than having a bunch of them that are friends with you for the wrong reasons.”
This was a subject that I had a lot of experience in and the reason why I now considered Finley as my best and one of my only friends. All my life, I had been surrounded by people who wanted to be with me because of my last name.
I had learned early on that most of them didn’t give a fuck about who I really was. They wanted the status and notoriety of being friends with Declan Hobbs. That was it, nothing more and nothing less.
“Have you ever had a bunch of friends who were friends with you for the wrong reasons?”
I nodded, releasing a soft, humorless chuckle. “Plenty of times. Trust me on this one. You’re better off with just one friend who you can trust to have your back no matter what.”
Lawson searched my eyes as he sat there, nodding silently. “Can I trust you to have my back no matter what?”
My blood ran cold for a second, but I recovered quickly. “While I am your Big Brother, I will have your back no matter what.”
If he chose to stay in the program after my time ran out, I wouldn’t be his Big Brother anymore, and therefore, my promise wouldn’t have been a lie. His eyes stayed on mine for another beat before he smiled. “Good, then I’m up a friend.”
“So am I.” I grinned, then sat up and let my eyes run along the bookshelves that lined the room. “There’s not just arts and crafts stuff in here, you know? How do you feel about a board game?”
“I like games,” he said, following after me when I got to my feet to choose a game. Not surprisingly, we quickly settled on a tactical strategy game that was appealing to both of us.
It took us hours to finish it, and by the time we did, it was time for Raeanne to pick him up. After packing up the game and storing it back where we’d found it, I went outside to wait for her with him.
Contrary to what had happened the last time, Raeanne was early today. She was already outside when we got there, leaning against her car. Her face split into a wide grin when she saw him, but unless I was imagining things, she flushed slightly when she looked at me.
Sliding her eyes away from mine, she opened her arms for Lawson to step into. “Hey, baby. How was today?”
“It was so cool, Mom. Declan doesn’t like arts and crafts either, so we talked and played a board game all day.”
“That sounds really cool,” she said, although there was definitely something up with her. She turned toward me. “Thank you for today. It sounds like he had a blast.”
I shrugged before smiling to let her know I was joking. “You’re welcome, but we were actually planning on starting another whole-day game while we waited for you. We could have finished one that last time before you arrived.”
She rolled her eyes, but I counted her soft chuckle as a win. “In that case, I’m sorry I ruined your fun. Maybe next year when you guys see each other again, I’ll make a point of being a couple of hours late.”
“That would be great.” I looked down at Lawson and reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “Happy New Year, kid. I’ll see you next week.”
“What are you doing for New Year’s?” Lawson asked, his eyes becoming almost completely round, reflective circles like a rock pool at the ocean. “Do you want to come to our house? Mommy, please can Declan come to our house for New Year’s?”
Raeanne looked taken aback, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. “I’m sure Declan has other plans for New Year’s Eve, sweetheart. Tell him, Declan. It’s okay. You don’t have to come to our party.”
“I’d love to come to your party.” Finley and I had made tentative plans to go to a beach party with some guys he used to go to school with, but weirdly, a beach party in the dead of winter didn’t sound like as much fun as spending time with these two did.
There would be roaring bonfires and plenty of booze and women to keep me warm at the party, but suddenly, I didn’t want that. A quiet night in didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. For some insane fucking reason.
Raeanne’s eyebrows arched, but she nodded slowly. “Okay then. I hope you know what you’re in for. Our parties are known to be ragers. Last year, we stayed up until nine-thirty and almost slept right through the alarm I had set to wake us up for New Year’s.”
“I think I can handle it.” I grinned. “Text me your address. Let’s ring in the new year with some board games and alarm clocks to wake us up on time.”
Christ, had I really just said that? What the fuck was I thinking? And yet, I couldn’t deny that I was looking forward to it. A lot.
There was something wrong with me. I just wasn’t quite sure what it was.
Chapter 14
Raeanne
“Declan put his knight in the Dark Territory, and I couldn’t get around him,” Lawson told Tessa excitedly, recounting every minute of his afternoon with his Big Brother. “Better yet, he showed me how to barter for sheep using metal.”
“Is any of this making sense to you?” she asked me, confusion knitting her brow.
I shook my head. “Not a lick of it, but Lawson and Declan played this game for hours. Apparently, it’s quite fun.”
“You had to be there,” Lawson said, a playful smile on his face. “Maybe when he comes over on New Year’s Eve, we can show you.”
“He’s coming over on New Year’s Eve?” Tessa nearly choked on her bolognaise but managed not to by taking a swig of her water. “As in, he’s coming here to spend New Year’s Eve with you?”
“Yep.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I didn’t feel it. Especially considering what she had teased me about the last time we’d talked about him. “Lawson invited him. Declan’s his friend, so I didn’t have any say over it.”
“You said he would have better things to do,” Lawson said, flashing a proud smile in Tessa’s direction. “But he didn’t. He wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with me because we’re friends.”
“Sure.” Tessa’s eyes flickered in my direction, but thankfully, she didn’t say whatever was on her mind with Lawson sitting around the table with us.
We were having dinner, and it didn’t matter what Tessa or I tried to talk to him about. All Lawson wanted to talk about was Declan. It was no wonder my mind didn’t stray far from the guy for very long sections of time. My son was constantly reminding me of the sexy man in his life.
This was a complication I had not foreseen when I enrolled him in the program, being forced to spend time with a handsome man who was friends with my seven-year-old. Even so, I could see the positive effect that having Declan in his life was already having on Lawson. I could deal with a little sexual frustration if that was what I had to do to keep him this happy.
“Thanks again for suggesting the Big Brother program,” I said to Tessa. “As you can see, I meant it when I said things were great there.”
“Yeah.” Her lips formed a soft smile. “It’s a pretty special program.”
“It’s awesome,” Lawson chimed in. I shot him a look, since his mouth was full of pasta. He chewed quickly, then swallowed, and batted his eyelashes at me. “Sorry, Mommy. But it is awesome. Declan is awesome.”
“Sure, honey.” The saddest part of all was that I couldn’t even really disagree with him. I saw that he was getting attached to this stranger, and I couldn’t even argue with him that Declan genuinely did seem like a pretty awesome guy.
It made me wonder when I was going to see what was wrong with him because there was always something. But maybe that was just me being cynical.
Maybe there were good men out there after all. I supposed a place where men volunteered their time to spend their days with other people’s kids was as good a place as any to find men who weren’t assholes.
Either way, I was glad he was in Lawson’s life now.
Tessa glanced at me once Lawson had finished eating and excused himself. “How do you feel about inviting a stranger into your house for New Year’s Eve?”
/> “It’s a stranger that I’m allowing to watch my son and spend time with him. Inviting him over for New Year’s Eve is nowhere near as big as that.” My stomach did these funny flip-flop things when I thought about how Lawson would probably fall asleep at some point in the night, leaving me alone with the man who had literally starred in my fantasy last night.
It had been a really hot one too and vivid as all hell. When I saw him this afternoon, I’d blushed and had to remind myself that what I had fantasized hadn’t really happened. He hadn’t seen or heard any of those things from me.
The idea of being alone with him was making me all kinds of nervous, like maybe my thoughts would be too loud and he’d be able to hear them, but it was also making certain parts of me very, very excited.
“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” Tessa said. “But it’s a really good point. Are you going to be okay alone with him? Or do you want me to come keep you safe?”
It wasn’t my safety I was worried about it. It was his. Alone with him in the semi-darkness as we waited for the countdown, I was afraid I would jump on him or something equally embarrassing. Like tie him up and make him role play my fantasies.
Just the thought of it was going to make me squirm in my seat if I didn’t watch it. “I’ll be fine. The guy is getting close to Lawson. I’ve got to be able to trust him to come to our house when I trust him alone with my son.”
“Another good point.” She smiled and lifted a bottle of apple cider from the table, filling her glass before pouring one for me. “You’re on a roll.” She lifted her glass and held it up in the air, eyes shining devilishly. “Here’s to a kiss at midnight for you then. Maybe even an orgasm. How great would that be?”
“Tessa,” I groaned, but I raised my glass and clinked it against hers. Because honestly? That would be great. “Don’t say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “Does it make you too hopeful?”
“Maybe,” I admitted. It wasn’t like Tessa would tell anyone, and if I couldn’t talk to her about this stuff, there was no one I could confide in. “But it’s not that. I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that. Just because he’s hot doesn’t mean I can ignore that he’s Lawson’s Big Brother or that I can think about him in whatever way I want.”
“Firstly,” she held her wine glass by its stem and pointed it at me, “he’s not really Lawson’s big brother, so there’s nothing wrong with it. Two consenting adults can do whatever they both consent to do. That’s all there is to it. Having sex doesn’t have to make things weird if you don’t let it. As long as you’re both on the same page, I’d say go for it.”
She took a dainty sip, smacking her lips before she continued. “Secondly, God put hot guys on earth for us poor girls who aren’t getting any action to fantasize the shit out of.”
“You have an interesting world view.” Smiling around a sip of my own, I lifted my shoulders. “But you do make some valid points. I’m not going to get my hopes up or anything, though. If I get a kiss at midnight, I get a kiss at midnight. If I don’t, I don’t.”
“I like it. Letting the universe decide is a far cry from trying to fight against it.”
I snorted into my glass. Not very ladylike at all, but so be it. “I hardly think the universe has any plans for us. This isn’t fate, Tessa. It’s hormones and lust. A lust story as opposed to a love story, if you will.”
“Give me a good lust story any day.” She released a wistful sigh. “All the fire and passion without any of the heartbreak. That’s something I can support.”
“Agreed,” I said, sitting back in my chair as I sipped the sweet, sparkling cider she’d brought with her.
A companionable silence fell between us before Tessa suddenly gasped. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Don’t count on the shoot of that rich family coming through too early in January. They’re not the easiest to get a hold of to finalize arrangements with.”
“Typical rich people. They’re all snobs who don’t respect other people’s time. If you ask me, they shouldn’t get any more attention than their money already gets them.”
“I agree, but people love to read about them and look at pretty pictures of them surrounded by wealth and opulence. Which means we get to make some money off them.”
“True, I just hate that air of entitlement they have. Like everybody in the world is beneath them, or like we’re all players and life is one big game.” I would never want to be like that. Scraping by wasn’t always easy, but at least I knew who I was and who the people around me were.
The life led by the upper crust wasn’t for me. If someone was to give it to me on a silver platter, I’d whack them upside the head with the thing and tell them to get a life. Because whatever it was they had, it wasn’t it.
It was all lies and manipulation. Deception and treating people like pawns to get whatever it was they wanted. And that? I could never, ever want that.
Chapter 15
Declan
Before going over to Raeanne’s house, I stopped at the store to pick up something to drink. Standing in the aisle in front of rows and rows of wine, I wondered what she might like.
It would have to be red since it was winter and all. It just worked better. But sweet or dry? Sweet red wine was only a little better than vinegar in my opinion, so I grabbed a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that had been imported from France and decided it would have to do. I knew this wine, and it was good.
Halfway to the cashier, I remembered that this wasn’t a fucking date and that I’d be spending time with Lawson as well. Alcohol probably wasn’t the best idea.
It wasn’t my normal New Year’s Eve outing. That was for sure. I’d already received half a dozen texts, pictures and videos from Finley, waving around a bottle of Irish whiskey and dancing around a bonfire with a girl who was wearing way too little for the weather.
While that was much more my usual speed, I wasn’t sorry for declining the invitation to the beach party. Even as I swapped out the alcohol for something more appropriate, I wasn’t feeling like I was missing out. It was weird.
Charles was off on a yacht somewhere, and Daisy was out clubbing with her friends in the city. Both of them had invited me along too, but I wouldn’t be caught dead near either of them if I didn’t have to be.
There had also been the usual onslaught of invitations from everyone and their mother throwing parties on private islands, in exclusive hotels, and even one or two in Aspen. But here I was, perfectly happy to be heading into suburbia to spend my night with a kid I had met through a plea deal.
Oh, how times have changed.
When Raeanne opened the door looking more amazing than ever, I wondered who needed alcohol and private islands to have the perfect New Year’s Eve. She was wearing jeans that fit her like a second skin, black leather boots that looked soft and worn in, and a black shirt that clung to her curves, hinting at breasts that would fit perfectly in my hands.
Her shoulder-length black hair was loose and framed that angelic, heart-shaped face and made her eyes look big and bright. The gold in them seemed more pronounced this evening, shining in the Christmas lights that still flashed in her entrance hall.
I sucked in a sharp breath when I saw her, but the wind was howling, and I doubted she’d heard it. “Hey, thanks again for inviting me.”
“I didn’t,” she said but smiled anyway. “Lawson did. Come on in.”
She stepped aside and gestured me into the cramped space that they called home. I clutched my heart over my shirt and pretended to be hurt. “Ouch, but I guess the truth stings sometimes.”
Raeanne laughed as she shut the door behind me. As she turned around, I lifted the bottle I had selected at the store and held it out to her. “Stung or not, I brought us something to drink.”
Her gaze swept across the bottle, her laughter subsiding. “Did you bring alcohol to a party with a kid?”
“No, it’s just sparkling grape juice in a champagne bottle.” I took a step c
loser to her to show her the label, catching a whiff of her feminine scent. It wasn’t overly sweet or floral, which I liked.
In fact, I liked it a lot. It had a similar effect to my head that a shot of tequila did, slightly intoxicating and making it hard to focus on anything but that for a moment.
“Oh.” She flashed me a sheepish smile as she took the bottle. “Thank you. That was sweet of you.”
“Don’t you drink at all?” I asked. I was curious to know more about her, even if it was something as trivial as this. Then again, in my world, people didn’t trust a person who didn’t drink without a good reason.
Having children didn’t qualify as such a reason. My parents had always pounded mimosas with breakfast, martinis with lunch, and whatever they felt like at dinner. The scotch my Dad had slammed at Christmas that early in the morning had still surprised me, though.
Raeanne shrugged, waving for me to follow her to the kitchen. “I’ll drink some wine occasionally, but it’s just me and Lawson most of the time. I don’t drink alone, and I can’t exactly look after him without all my mental faculties intact, so the occasion doesn’t present itself too often.”
It wouldn’t necessarily impress a lot of people that she had that level of dedication to her child, but it did impress me. Another reason why my family should have their own reality TV show.
My parents weren’t raging alcoholics or anything. But a lot of people would probably question their drinking habits, especially if this was what normal parents were like.
Deciding not to delve into it any further right now, I grinned as she put the juice in the fridge and looked around the small kitchen. “Speaking of Lawson, where is my little brother?”
“I’m here,” he called from just beyond the door, rounding it to launch himself at me. He just about tackled me to the floor, then seemed to remember what I’d taught him and stepped back to offer me his hand instead of the hug.
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