Her Best Mistake

by Jenika Snow

  Her mom tossed her napkin on the table and stared at Shoshanna with still narrowed eyes. “Fine, Shoshanna. If you don’t want to listen to what I have to say then you can sit here and eat alone.” She stood, stared at Shoshanna’s dad, and then lifted a brow. “Marlon?” her mother asked, obviously annoyed. “Are you coming?”

  “I’ll meet you in the car,” her dad said and looked back at Shoshanna. Her mother stormed off, acting more like a child than a grown adult. When they were alone at the table he reached out and took Shoshanna’s hand.

  “Your mother means well. She just doesn’t know how to phrase things.

  She chuckled, but it was a little annoyed. “I hate that she is like that. I wish she’d just be happy with how I live my life and what I’ve accomplished.”

  “And she is, in her own way, honey.” He smiled. “I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and the woman you’ve become. No matter what you do in life I’ll always be proud of you.” Her father wrapped her in his arms, and kissed the top of her head. “Just do what makes you happy, and don’t worry about what others say, even your mom.”

  ****

  Three weeks later

  She was sweating. Like really sweating, and all because she had this knot in her stomach because she was about to do something she didn’t think would happen for many years to come. Taking hold of the small paper bag even tighter, her heart pounded, and beads of sweat lined the valley between her breasts. This was like some kind of dream, some kind of crazy, “this is so not happening” dream. Once she was in her bathroom with the door shut despite the fact she lived alone, she closed the toilet lid and sat down. The sound of paper crunching in her hand filled her head as she loosened her hold on the bag. God, she was feeling like she might pass out, like the entire world was tipping and all she could see was one of the small boxes she currently pulled out of the bag. She pulled out the other three boxes she’d purchased as well, one of each brand that had been at the drug store, and set them on the counter.

  Her throat dried, tightened, and all she could see when she stared at those four boxes was a future that was not what she planned. Shoshanna wasn’t a fool, and had known that having unprotected sex with Toby a little over a month ago could bring her to this one moment. But there had been this voice in her head that told her the chances of her being pregnant as a result of that one night were so slim that worrying was not a high priority. How wrong she’d been.

  She was late, and although she had been late on occasion with her period, this time she just knew that the result would be life changing. After going to the free clinic in town shortly after she’d slept with Toby, Shoshanna had felt confident that she had done the responsible thing about being so irresponsible that night. She had gotten tested, not so much because she didn’t believe Toby when he had said he was clean, but because it was the smart thing to do after something so careless. She’d not taken the morning after pill, because the very thought of that hadn’t set right with her, had almost seemed abhorrent for some reason. She had never been in a situation like this, never even thought she would be because of her lack of male companionship.

  Taking the first out of the box, she held it in her hands, saw her fingers shake uncontrollably as she held the stick, and then swallowed her nerves down. The results only took sixty seconds, but God, were they the longest seconds of her life. Turning away from the stick resting on the counter, she stared at the wall, counted in her head backward from one hundred because she needed something to take her mind off of this, and prayed that what was about to happen was what was meant to be.

  When Shoshanna picked up the test and stared down at the little window, she blinked over and over again.

  Two pink lines.

  She already knew what that result meant, but she grabbed the box, stared at the negative and positive reaction that was listed on the back of it, and cursed in her head. She set the test on the counter and grabbed another one, this one made by a different manufacturer.

  Same result.

  After grabbing the third and then fourth, taking them back to back, and staring at all four tests lined up on the counter, all four saying the same thing, she leaned back and breathed out. They all said the same thing.

  Pregnant.

  Here she was, pregnant by a man that had left Silver Springs over a month ago because his father had passed way, and with no notice of when he’d be back. She hadn’t expected him to tell her anything that morning after she had left, but with no idea of when he’d be back—if he’d be back—she was stuck in this place in her life that was unknown.

  Of course Shoshanna wanted to tell him she was pregnant, because although they only shared one night, and hadn’t been especially close at any time during their life, she didn’t think it right to keep it from him. But was calling him only a month after his father died and telling him she was pregnant really the right thing? She didn’t have his cell number, and although she probably could ask around for it, because surely someone in town would have it, it seemed grossly wrong to bring up a life changing discussion over the phone so soon after one of his family members passed away.

  Resting her back on the tank of the toilet, she stared at the ceiling. There were some water spots lining the white space above. She closed her eyes, covering her belly with a hand, and breathed out. How was she supposed to deal with this when she was getting her life on track? She had a job, but could that help her pay for a child, raise and make sure it was okay and safe? And her mother, lord, her mother would be furious about this. No happy new grandma emotions for her.

  Looking at the tests lined up again, she saw each of them said the same thing. She was pregnant with Toby Mason’s baby. How in the hell was she going to explain this to Toby? How would he be able to deal with the birth of a child after the death of a father? Chances were he wouldn’t even want this baby, or think it was his. She couldn’t blame him though. Shoshanna had slept with him without even caring about protection, and there was no way for him to know that he was only the second guy she had ever been with.

  “How in the hell are you going to take care of a baby?”

  If things were different between them, and she didn’t just have a one-night stand with Toby, maybe this would have been a joyous time. Of course she didn’t want to keep this from him, but how did one go about telling a man that she might have known for year, but that they just reconnected after a tense separation of sorts, that he’d knocked her up after one night of incredible sex?

  God, this is so freaking bad. She threw the tests in the wastebasket and stood on shaky legs. The mirror showed a girl she didn’t even recognize. Her gaze traveled down to her belly, and she gripped the edge of her shirt, slowly lifting it up. She was only a few days late, but her breasts had been so swollen and sensitive, far worse than when her period was going to start. She stared at her belly, and the very idea that there was a tiny life growing inside of her, a little piece of Toby, was almost too much to handle.

  Letting her shirt fall back in place, she braced her hands on the counter and hung her head. How in the hell was she going to get through this? She didn’t believe in abortion, and couldn’t see herself carrying her child for nine months only to give it up for adoption. No, she would keep the baby and get through it, even if Toby wasn’t on board.

  Oh God. There was so much to do, and she didn’t even know where to start.

  Chapter Nine

  It had been five weeks since his father had passed and he had gone to help his mom. He had taken so much time off of work that he felt behind in his duties, and just wanted to get back to his life and the routine he had set for himself. He sat on his couch, his cell in hand, and Shoshanna’s number on the screen. He had yet to press SEND, because honestly he was scared shitless. Would she even want him? She knew his reputation, had witnessed it even, and he didn’t want her scared away again because he wasn’t this good guy.

  “Grow some balls, man,” he said to himself, and hit the button that would dial
her number. Putting the phone to his ear, he listened to it ring. After the fourth ring he was about to hang up, but the voicemail kicked on. He contemplated just hanging up, because right now he felt like a teenager that was asking a girl out for the first time.

  “Shoshanna, this is Toby.” He swallowed, let there be dead air for a second, and then finished speaking so he didn’t make an ass out of himself. “I hope this call doesn’t piss you off, because I know we kind of left on weird turns last month, but I’d like to see you again.” God, he really did feel like an idiot asking her out over the phone on her voicemail. “So, yeah, not sure if you want to talk, let alone see me again, but Shoshanna—” He let there be a second of silence once again. “I’d love to see you.” He hung up after he left his number just in case, and stared at his cell. After setting it on the table he leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

  Toby hadn’t gone on a “date” in so long. He fucked, plain and simple, and after one, maybe two nights tops, with the same female, he moved on. It was a shitty mentality, but that was who he was, how he lived his life, and he was ready for a change. If Shoshanna turned him down it would serve him right, though, thinking he could have something so good in his life. But shit, if she really did want him he’d show her that to him she’d be his Queen. Toby could honestly say that he didn’t know why he felt this deep-rooted need to be with Shoshanna. Since high school and when she’d left him at the party, and had ignored him the rest of the year, he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind. Maybe it was obsession to think about, or want, a woman that didn’t want him all those years ago, yet he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind. She’d gone off to college, left Silver Springs behind for years only to come back and call it home again. Maybe he was sick for thinking that, but he didn’t care, because he wanted her, and until she flat out told him to fuck off he wouldn’t let her go.

  ****

  Shoshanna was nervous as hell when she heard the knock on her front door. She knew it was Toby. He was right on time, and after she had gotten his message last week, talked to him and set up this date, she had been a nervous wreck. He had called her. He had wanted to see her again, and tonight she’d have to tell him about the pregnancy. Shoshanna had gone to the clinic in town and checked everything out, because the last thing she wanted to do was tell him she was pregnant with his baby only to find out it had been a false positive test. But she was most definitely pregnant, and had gotten it confirmed.

  He knocked on the door again, and she got butterflies in her belly. When she opened the door her heart stopped. Toby Mason was really here, wanted to see her again, and she was a nervous freaking wreck over it all.

  “Hey,” he said and smiled.

  “Hi,” Shoshanna said and stepped to the side. Despite the fact she hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever, she grew wet and warm instantly. He looked good, smelled good, too, and the ink on his arms turned her on. God, she was so aroused, so hot for him, and he had only said one word. He stepped inside, and for a second all they did was stare at each other. What would he think if he knew he had been on her mind for the last five weeks? It wasn’t so much because she was pregnant, though of course that was a factor, but because he had started something in her body that couldn’t be denied. He was wrong for her, too experienced and sexual, and compared to him she was this little girl with a geeky personality.

  “I missed you, Shoshanna.” He said it so low she almost didn’t hear.

  “What?” Her voice came out like a little stutter. This was all moving so fast, taking up her entire life, and everything was changing in a matter of weeks.

  He nodded, looked down at her lips, and before she knew what was happening he had his arms wrapped around her and his lips on hers. Her back met the wall in her foyer, and she moaned into his mouth. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help myself around you,” he murmured against her mouth and kissed her harder this time.

  “Wait,” she said and placed her hands on his chest, stopping him. Looking into his eyes when he pulled back an inch, she thought about everything they needed to talk about, but right now having him so close felt so good.

  “I missed you, Shoshanna. I know how crazy that sounds, but for the last few weeks you’re all I’ve been thinking about.”

  She breathed harder, stared into his blue eyes, and something in her just snapped. She didn’t want to think about anything else but this moment. She pressed her mouth to his again, and kissed him just as hard. Their tongues slid along each other, and she knew if she didn’t stop this now she would beg him to take her upstairs and forget about dinner all together.

  Slipping her hands between their bodies, she started tugging on his belt. But faster than she anticipated Toby stopped her. He pulled away, his warm, minty breath coasting over her lips.

  “Why did you stop?” Even she could hear how needy she sounded. His gaze was on her lips, and his erection pressed against her belly.

  “If we don’t stop I’m liable not to control myself and take you right here.” He said the words, and she could hear the heat and arousal laced with them.

  Sliding her hands up his tattooed arms and stopping at his biceps, she gave him a light squeeze. “Just kiss me.” She moved an inch closer until her breasts were pressed against his hard chest. She noticed the way his breathing changed to a faster, labored beat. He closed his eyes and groaned, but didn’t respond verbally. Then he cupped her face and kissed her until she couldn’t think straight.

  “I want you, baby,” he murmured against her lips. “But we should talk as well.” He pulled back but kept his gaze locked on hers. “You have no fucking clue how much I want this right now.”

  To solidify his words he gripped her wrists in one of his hands and moved it between their bodies. Her palm came in contact with his rock hard cock. Feeling for his zipper with her fingers, she slowly pulled it down once she found it.

  His grip tightened on her wrist, and then he slowly loosened his hold and stared into her eyes. Shoshanna slowly brought his zipper down and it sounded obscenely loud, but she refused to stop. Slipping her hand through the fly and through his boxer briefs, she felt the hot and hard length of his shaft. The piercing at the tip was warmed from his body heat and clothing, and she moved her thumb off the crown, smearing his pre-cum around. When she wrapped her fingers around him she loved that the tips didn’t touch. His chest rose and fell fast and hard, and he lifted his arm and placed his hand on the wall beside her head. The wetness that coated her panties caused the material to press against her pussy, rubbing along her folds and teasing her clit. Shoshanna licked her lips and pulled his shaft out from the confines of the material. He closed his eyes when she started stroking him from root to tip, and a tingling sensation slammed into her pussy. “Kiss me, Toby—”

  He didn’t let her finish the words before his mouth was on hers and his tongue slipped past her lips. His cock felt like it swelled in her grasp. When he groaned and jerked his hips forward that tingling intensified and moved up to her nipples. He didn’t stop kissing her as he started a slow, steady thrust of his hips in her grasp. He fucked himself in her hand while he devoured her mouth.

  He moved the hand that wasn’t beside her head lower until he had one aching and full breast in his big palm. It felt so unbelievably good as he moved his fingers over her nipple, not doing anything more than torturously teasing the stiff peak. “Oh, God Toby, you’re making me feel so good.”

  “I’m just starting with you, baby, and I don’t have any intentions of ending any time soon.”

  ****

  Touching her was torture, pure, agonizing torture. The way she responded to him had his cock harder than fuck. Dirty thoughts slammed into his head, images of her beneath him, her smooth, soft skin bared to him. He ran his palm over her nipple, nearly groaning when the little bead tightened further under the material of her shirt. Toby took her mouth harder, worrying that he might be too rough, too demanding, but unable to help himself. There had never been a
nother female that had him in knots, yet Shoshanna had done just that.

  Her head fell back against the wall, and he latched his mouth onto her throat. She tasted sweet, like honey, and the flavor bathed his tongue in everything that was Shoshanna. His dick throbbed behind, demanding to be buried inside of her. Pushing her would be disastrous, and besides, they had all the time in the world. He had no plans on going anywhere, not when it was clear she was just as into this as he was.

  “That’s it, baby.” He pressed his erection further into her hand, and they both groaned. He started a slow thrust against her and loved that her breathing changed in response. “The things you’re doing to me.” If they kept this up he would come in her hand in just a few, short strokes.

  Her mouth was by his ear, and she whispered, “It feels so good, Toby, but if we keep going we won’t leave this house.”

  He squeezed her breast, the mound soft and giving. Toby had no problem staying in with her, wrapped in his arms and crying out from orgasm. He moved his hips into her a little harder, and she gripped his bicep with her free hand. The image of him sliding his hand up her inner thigh and touching her pussy, which he knew would be wet, slammed into his head violently. “We have to stop, baby.” He licked up the side of her throat before latching onto her mouth again. They had to stop. He had to stop or he’d take her right here. He wanted Shoshanna so damn badly, but Toby also wanted to talk to her, get everything out in the open, and see where she was then.

  Pulling back and cupping her cheek, he stared into her eyes, took in the fact her lips were parted, her cheeks blushed from her arousal, and felt the fact she tightened her hold on his cock.