Illusive

by Diana Nixon

  CHAPTER 2

  Frosted air filled my lungs and stung my eyes and nose. I looked at my hands – small fingers were getting red.

  "Hurry up, Eden! You don't want to freeze here, do you?"

  I looked at the girl walking next to me. She was older than me; her lips were moving, murmuring a song I didn't know. She took my cold hand in hers and quickened her pace.

  "We should have been home a long time ago," she said, looking at her watch. "Mom's gonna be furious."

  "How far do we still need to walk?" I asked. My lips felt dry, and my legs refused to move, constantly getting trapped in the snowbanks.

  "Not too far away." The girl stopped and squatted down in front of me. With a smile on her face, she asked, "Are you cold?" Her dark-brown eyes radiated warmth and concern. She rubbed my hands and hid them in her palms for a few moments.

  "Just a little," I said quietly.

  "Don't worry. Mom will make us hot chocolate and you will feel better in no time flat."

  "Okay."

  She pinched my cheek slightly and we continued walking down the snowy road.

  "Next time we go to town, I'll first make sure you have your gloves on."

  "Wake up, sleepyhead!" Ariel's voice took away the remnants of my weird dream.

  "What time is it?" I asked, searching for my phone.

  "Almost eight. Reggie's making breakfast for us. Take a quick shower and come downstairs. Blake should be back any minute."

  "Right." I almost forgot about the 'monster' living in this house. Ariel said he went on a business trip and he was supposed to be back today. The thoughts about meeting him still made me want to run and never look back. Don't know why; I just had this feeling telling me the day wasn't gonna end well.

  "Are you sure you don't need a babysitter?" Ari crossed her arms and watched me with an unhidden scoff in her eyes.

  I got out of bed and put a robe over my pajamas. "I'm not afraid of him, if this is what you are hinting at."

  "Aha, so I thought."

  I made a face and then smiled. "And I thought you said you would stand up for me if he decides to fire me."

  "He won't do that. Believe me."

  "Did you say the same thing to the previous ten babysitters?"

  "No." She sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me with her eyes full of thoughts I couldn't read. "I didn't like any of them. None of them were you…"

  "Awe, thank you, sunshine." I sat down next to her and gave her a big hug. "I feel so special now."

  "You are special…" Ari's brown eyes found mine and she touched my cheek with her small palm. I was getting used to this gesture. It brought so much warmth to my heart. "You are so nice with me, and you make me laugh."

  "Well, that makes two of us."

  She smiled. "Blake says I'm the only person who knows how to make him laugh."

  "I bet! Now go downstairs, I'll be there in a few minutes."

  Ari kissed me on the cheek and rushed out of my room.

  Again, I caught myself feeling the warmth I never knew before. It was different from everything I had ever felt: a mixture of tenderness and love that comes with the bonds too special to be described with simple words. First I thought it was because Ari accepted me so easily and I didn't need to worry about losing this job, any time soon. On the other hand, I felt like there was more to it. A lot more…

  About fifteen minutes later, I came to the dining room that was as full of light as the rest of the house. A long, oval table standing in the middle of the room, was white and majestic, as well as the rest of the furniture. A huge chandelier was hanging over it, shining like a diamond in the sun.

  "Good morning, Eden," Mrs. Reagan said. "Did you sleep well?"

  "Surprisingly, yes. It's the first time that I fell asleep in the new place right after my head touched the pillow."

  She laughed quietly. "It's probably because Ariel's games exhausted you to the max."

  The little girl rolled her eyes. "Not true. Eden never once mentioned she was too tired to keep playing with me."

  "Of course, she didn't." Mrs. Reagan kissed her hair and poured what looked like hot chocolate into a blue cup with a unicorn's head sculpted on its handle.

  "She prefers hot chocolate over any other drink."

  I smiled, and sat down in a chair next to Ariel's. This morning was full of hot chocolate, starting the dream I had had.

  "Thanks, Reggie."

  "Why Reggie?" I asked curiously. "Isn't it a male's name?"

  Both Mrs. Reagan and the girl laughed.

  "It was Blake's idea," the woman said. "He's been calling me Reggie since he learned how to talk."

  "So you've been with him all his life?"

  She sighed and nodded. "I used to be his babysitter. Then, when his parents moved to Arizona, I stayed with him, here in New York. I honestly can't remember my life before the Bowen's. It feels like forever since I started working for them."

  "Then you must know all the secrets of this place," I said, without giving my words a second thought.

  Ari chuckled and Mrs. Reagan lowered her head, as if trying to hide the changes in her expression. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know any," she said quietly. Then, as if by magic, her smile was back and she acted as if she never heard my comment at all. "You may call me Reggie, Eden. It makes me feel so much younger."

  "Okay."

  Just then, the front door of the house opened and we heard footsteps in the hall.

  "Blake's back!" Ariel jumped to her feet and ran out of the room.

  "Where's my little girl?" A male's voice said.

  "Blake!" Ariel squealed.

  Both of them laughed.

  "Have you missed me?" Mr. Bowen asked.

  I liked the sound of his voice: rich and velvety. It reverberated through my skin and sank deep inside me, as if it always belonged there.

  "Have you brought any presents for me?" Ari asked.

  "You didn't answer my question, little fox. Have you missed me?"

  "You know the answer – I ALWAYS miss you!"

  The footsteps became louder, and a few moments later, Mr. Bowen entered the dining room, holding Ari in his hands. Her small arms were wrapped around his neck.

  He laughed again, "Careful, or you are going to strangle me with your embrace."

  She giggled and let go of his neck. He put her down and then, as if he could feel my eyes on him, he looked at me and my chest tightened in a knot; my heart skipped a beat.

  An uneasy pause followed our exchange of looks. Everything in me turned upside down, and I felt like I would faint, any second. My head started to spin.

  I swallowed hard and was just about to introduce myself, when Ari came to my rescue.

  "Meet Eden, my new babysitter." She took Mr. Bowen by the hand and pulled him to where I was sitting.

  I stood up, holding the back of my chair for support.

  "Eden, this is Blake," the girl said. She then took my hand and put it into her Godfather's hand.

  The touch was like an electric shock. Both Mr. Bowen and I felt it. He looked down at our joined hands and then into my eyes again, and his face turned from thoughtful to stormy.

  Without saying a word, he let go of my hand, turned around and left the dining room; the echo of his footsteps rang in my head.

  Slowly, I sat back in my chair and let out a long breath that I hadn't noticed holding.

  Ari took her seat next to me and said, "Don't worry. He needs more time…"

  "For what?" I asked, still not sure how to describe what I felt in his presence. A mixture of déjà vu, fear and relief rushed through me. Weird, I know. But fact remained.

  "Coffee?" Reggie asked, bringing a coffeepot with a steaming drink.

  "Yes, please." Absentminded, I stared at the door that Mr. Bowen walked through just a couple of moments ago.

  What the hell happened between us? I was sure it wasn't just about the fact of being introduced to a stranger. His more than weird behavior had something to
do with me personally. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he had seen a ghost.

  "How about you two go for a walk after breakfast?"

  "What?" I looked at Reggie who was waiting for my response.

  "A walk in the garden. We have a lot of flowers there. Ariel loves flowers."

  "Sure. Let's go for a walk. Just let me finish my coffee first." My eyes were still glued to the door.

  Where did he go? To his room that no one was allowed to enter? Or maybe to his office where I was interviewed yesterday?

  My interest in the owner of the house was quite unexpected. It had nothing to do with his obvious attractiveness that combined handsomeness and magnetism radiating from within. His eyes were of a gray color that looked almost silver with the sunlight falling on them. Until they turned into two thunderclouds that made me feel as small as ever. The firm lines of his jaw and cheekbones screamed masculinity that would deepen with age, making him even more handsome. His short chestnut hair was carefully set, despite the fact that he'd spent almost ten hours on a plane. No doubt, the man was obsessed with perfection, in everything.

  And I can't but mention his lips… They were full and perfect, ripe to be kissed and give pleasures. I wondered if he knew about the effect he had on women. His so called ‘loneliness’ mentioned by Ari last night didn't fit into the picture of my first impression about him. Or maybe I was being wrong and there was a side he didn't show anyone but the closest ones.

  "Are you done with your coffee?" Ariel asked impatiently.

  "Yes. Let's go to the garden."

  Maybe I was imagining things, but it felt like the girl knew something I didn't. Like she could explain her Godfather's reaction to my presence, but wouldn't give away his secrets.

  "Eden, wait!" Reggie called from the kitchen.

  "Yes?"

  "Have you taken your medicine?"

  "How do you know I need to take medicines?"

  "Mia mentioned your surgery…"

  "Oh… Yes, I have taken them."

  "What surgery?" Ari asked, curious.

  "Nothing serious."

  Living with a donor's heart was new to me. Even three months later, I was still trying to get used to the feeling of someone else's heart being inside my chest. My doctor said it fit me perfectly, as if it had always meant to be mine. I didn't feel any physical discomfort, except for the scar that was the only reminder of the day my dysfunctional heart was replaced by the new one. The only thing that bothered me was taking medications for the rest of my life. And by the way, no one knew how long it was gonna last…

  "Tell me something," I said, as Ari and I left the house. "Shall I pack my things now or shall I wait for Mr. Bowen's final decision about me to be announced later?"

  "There's nothing to be announced. You are staying."

  "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Have you seen his face?"

  "I have seen it many times. Trust me, there's nothing unusual about it."

  "Is everything that bad?"

  She smiled. "Sometimes."

  "Okay. I'll have to learn how to act in his presence, since our first meeting obviously didn't go well."

  Ariel silently looked at me, and again, I felt like she was hiding something. But I thought it would be better to let it go, for now. After all, it was just my second day at the Bowen's.

  Back then, I had no idea how much staying with them would change my life. I liked spending time with Ariel and the obvious tension between her Godfather and me wasn't that scary. I only hoped the silent war wouldn't last forever.

  Later that day, we had a guest. Mia stopped by to see me and her Goddaughter, Ariel.

  "Auntie!" The girl was more than happy to see her. "I didn't know you were going to visit us tonight."

  Ari and I were in her room. I was telling her stories about the origins of different flowers' names.

  "I was on my way home when I suddenly remembered I forgot to give you something I bought a long time ago." Mia searched inside her bag and pulled out a fluffy little hare.

  "It's beautiful!" Ari said excitedly. "Thank you! You are the best."

  "Tell me something I don't know." She gave the girl a big hug. Then she looked at me and said, "I've heard you two got well together. Is that so?"

  Ari was the first to speak. "Eden is cool."

  I smiled. "Everything went even better than I expected."

  Mia seemed relieved to hear my words.

  "Have you met Blake yet?" She asked.

  "Yeah…"

  "What? Just don't tell me he's been acting like a pig again. Sorry, Ari, don't tell him I called him a pig."

  "You have my word." The girl winked at her.

  "Do you mind if Eden and I have a word, in private? There are some things we need to discuss without you."

  "Are those things too 'adult' for my ears?"

  "Yes."

  Ari's face fell. "Fine. I'll go play downstairs."

  When she left, Mia sat on Ariel’s bed and patted a spot next to her.

  It'd been just a few months since I saw her in my hospital room for the very first time, but it felt like I knew her my whole life. She dealt with the legal side of my heart transplant story, and she said she felt responsible for whatever was gonna happen during my post-surgery period. Talking to her felt easy and natural, I knew I could trust he, and I didn't mind her playing my guardian angel.

  "Do you like it here?" She asked carefully.

  "I do. A lot. I feel like I'm home. Is that weird?"

  "Not at all."

  "It's probably because Ariel liked me. I think my biggest worry before coming here was that the girl would hate me."

  "She's a good girl. And she's very clever."

  "I know, right? Sometimes she says things that I would never expect to hear from a five-year-old."

  "Did Blake say anything about your staying in this house?"

  I sighed. "No. In fact, he didn't say anything at all. I haven't seen him since breakfast and I doubt he will talk to me any time soon. Do you know what his problem is? I mean, is it just me, or does he act the same way with everyone who stays with Ari? Something's telling me he's very protective when it comes to her."

  "He is. He feels like he owes her mother…" She paused for a moment, as if she had told me too much. "That's why he thinks that everything that is happening in her life is his responsibility. Including you, or any other person who is assigned to stay with her when he's not here to look after her. But don't worry, I know him – he'll get used to you. Just give him a little more time. My guess is that he's jealous, because Ari didn't like any of her babysitters as much as she likes you. And Blake wants to be her only 'idol'."

  "How selfish of him."

  Mia nodded, smiling. "Selfish is the best word to describe him. By the way, I saw Ian today. He stopped by my office to…bring me a cup of coffee." A cute blush covered Mia's cheeks.

  I tried to hide my smile, but failed.

  Because next thing she said was, "It's not what you think."

  "Of course, it's not."

  "Forget I told you about his visit." She stood up and hurried to leave the room. "I'll stop by later this week. You know, just to check if Blake is still alive."

  "Why do you think he might not be?"

  "Chances are high, jealousy will kill him."

  I chuckled. "It was nice to see you again."

  She stopped at the door and gave me a long look. "Likewise, Eden."

  After she left, I picked up the book that Ari and I had been reading before Mia came, and put it on her desk. There were many books about plants and animals. Turned out the little troublemaker and I had a lot in common. Which was another reason to enjoy staying with her. I wondered if I was fond of flowers when I was her age. Too bad that part of my life was gone forever. I didn't remember anything up until the day the Shelton's adopted me. They were good people and I loved them like they had always been with me.

  Did I want to know anything about my biological parents? I di
d.

  Right before I got to the hospital, I started my investigation, trying to learn anything about them. Mom said there was no information about them in the orphanage records, so I had to find another way to restore the memories about the first five years of my life. I wasn't going to give up on them. I needed them back, and I fully intended to make my brain remember everything I lost, years ago.

  CHAPTER 3

  Almost two weeks had passed since the unfortunate breakfast when I had ‘the pleasure' to meet Mr. Bowen, but he never once showed up to talk to me or ask anything about Ari's days. He left for work when we were still asleep and came back home after we went to bed, which, I guess, was not accidental.

  That's why today, he was the last person I expected to see in the dining room when I came there to have breakfast. It was early morning and Ariel was still asleep, so I went downstairs to help Reggie lay the table. Only I didn't know Mr. Bowen was gonna be there too.

  "Good morning," I said, entering the room. I stopped at the door, not sure where to sit down – next to him or on the opposite end of the table, which would be my first choice, of course.

  He put the paper he'd been reading down and looked at me. "Morning. Please, take a seat, Miss Shelton. We need to talk." He pointed to the chair on his right.

  Judging by the tone of his voice, I had little choice but to accept his 'kind invitation'.

  "Your coffee," Reggie said, bringing a cup for me.

  "Thanks." Despite how uncomfortable I felt under Mr. Bowen's piercing stare, I was dying to take a sip of my drink. So I took the cup and brought it to my lips – all the process was carefully followed by the look of silver eyes that I remembered so well. Thank God, I didn't choke on my coffee. Spitting it on my boss's snow-white shirt would definitely make his day.

  "So," I said, as I put the cup back on the saucer. "What did you want to talk about?"

  "Ariel." He paused and lowered his eyes, as if the fact that I was not afraid to return his stare somehow bothered him. "I guess you've heard about what happened to her mother…"

  "I have."

  "Unfortunately, my work wouldn't allow me to spend as much time with her as I want to. But Ariel needs attention. She hates being alone and she becomes very sensitive when it comes to people she loves. Losing her mom was a tragedy for everyone. I don't want her to cry again over losing someone she might become emotionally involved with."