Illusive

by Diana Nixon

But after everything we've shared, I think you deserve to know the truth.

  A few weeks after I last saw you, I found out I was expecting a baby.

  Your baby, Mason.

  I knew I wanted to keep it despite the fact that we were no longer together. Why didn’t I ever tell you about Ariel? Because I was scared you wouldn't want to be a part of her life. And I, in turn, wanted to keep the warmest memories of everything that ever bound us.

  You can't even imagine how much she looks like you… She has your smile and every time I look at her, I see the reflection of my love for you in her.

  The day you called me a few weeks ago, I knew it was a sign – a sign that pushed me to write a letter I will probably never send. At least I will know I tried to tell you the truth.

  I also want you to know that I never hated you for leaving me. I knew you had a reason to do so, and I respect it. No matter how much I wished you were here with us now.

  One day, I will tell Ariel about you. Maybe when she's old enough to understand why I kept your name a secret.

  But… If you ever feel like meeting her, I won't mind it. In fact, I secretly hope you will do it sooner than I decide to tell her everything about her dad.

  You are a wonderful man, Mason. And I will never stop loving you, no matter what.

  Please forgive me for everything I have done wrong. I never meant to push you away from us and scratch you out of Ariel's life. I hope you are not angry at me.

  If you ignore this letter, I will understand.

  Love you always,

  Your Rachel

  P.S. Remember I told you I had a sister? You and Mia were the only people who knew about her. And guess what? My heart was right after all – she's alive! Mia and I found her in a hospital in New York. She's suffering a very serious disease and I don't know how much time she has to live, but I will do my best to prolong her life as much as I can. Now I have another reason to wake up in the mornings and feel immensely happy, because you, Ariel and Eden are the three most important people in my life…

  ***

  Blake

  Present Day

  "You look nervous," I said, watching Eden. She was sitting on a sofa in the living room with a magazine in her hands. But one look at her was enough to realize that she didn't see a word written there.

  "I am nervous," she said, turning the pages indifferently.

  "Why?" I sat down next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

  She closed the magazine and looked at me. "Because this dinner… It feels so much like a family gathering."

  "So?"

  "Ian knows me better than anyone. He knows I would never agree to this, if I were not sure I knew what I was doing."

  "Which means he knows something is happening between us."

  "Exactly. Plus, I know how overprotective he might be at times."

  "Don't worry, Eden. Your brother is a very clever guy. He knew I had feelings for you the moment he saw me accompany you to the doctor's appointment."

  "I just don't want him or my parents to worry about me. They know so little about you, but I'm sure mom will want to meet you the moment Ian tells her about the dinner."

  "If needed, I'll tell the whole world about my love for you." I pulled her into my arms and kissed her lips. We were alone in the room and no one could see us.

  Still, Eden moved away from me and said, "I need to warn Ian about Ariel. I don't want her to find out about us from anyone but us. And knowing my brother, I'm sure he won't miss his chance to comment on our relationship."

  "I think you are overdramatizing things. I'm sure Ariel will be happy to know about us."

  "Something's telling me Reggie already knows."

  I chuckled. "There's nothing you can hide from that woman. But as intelligent as she is, she will keep her mouth shut until everyone knows what she learned a long time ago."

  "Now every time she looks at me, I blush like a schoolgirl who failed to do her homework. I think she knew everything the morning she caught me leaving your room in nothing but a shirt to cover my body."

  "And with a bra in your hands. Yeah, I remember that morning."

  She punched my chest playfully. "You are not helping."

  Just then, the doorbell rang and I looked at Eden, saying, "Everything's gonna be all right."

  She graced me with a weak smile and I went to open the door to welcome our guests.

  "Hi, big boss," Ian said, shaking my hand.

  "Hello, Ian."

  "Hi, sis," he said to Eden who stood behind me.

  "Mia." I kissed her on both cheeks and took a box with what I assumed was a lemon cake for Ariel. Mia always brought it for her.

  "Where's my princess?" She asked, taking off her coat.

  "She's helping Reggie and Mary set the table."

  "Oh, all right. I have something for her." She searched in her purse and pulled out a small box.

  "Eden, it's good to see you again."

  "Likewise."

  "Come on in, guys. Would you like something to drink?"

  "I'm driving," Ian replied.

  "I wouldn’t mind a glass of wine. It's been one hell of a week for me. Oh, your tree is amazing!" She came to the tree that Eden and Ariel decorated yesterday. "Where did you get these garlands?" She looked at Eden.

  At the mention of the garlands, Eden's face paled. It was the last decoration we bought before she remembered an episode from her childhood. I knew she was still thinking about it.

  "At the market," she said to Mia.

  "Really? You should take me there next week. I haven't bought any new decorations yet. Work is killing me!"

  "I told you to hire another lawyer," I said, pouring wine into a glass. Then I gave it to Mia.

  "Ugh, I wouldn't mind help. But none of the candidates I talked to seemed to be as good as Rachel. It's hard to find a replacement for her. With her knowledge and intuition we always knew what case was gonna be a winner."

  "Aunt Mia!" Ariel ran into the room and right into Mia's open arms.

  "Oh, you are growing up so fast, my girl!"

  Ariel giggled and covered Mia's face with small kisses. "I love your lipstick!" She said.

  Mia laughed. "Like mother like daughter. Your mom always loved this color."

  "Will you buy me the same one when I become old enough to paint my lips?"

  "Consider it done." Mia put her down and gave her the box that she brought with her.

  "What's this?" Ari asked, excited.

  "It belonged to your mom. Open it later. I'm sure you will love it."

  "Thank you." Ari kissed Mia on the cheek.

  "Have you met Ian?" Mia asked.

  "No, but Eden told me a lot about you." Ari came to Ian and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Ian."

  "The pleasure is all mine." He smiled at her.

  "Dinner's ready!" Reggie walked into the room, wearing a white apron over her black dress and a Chef's hat.

  "Judging by your look, we're gonna love it," I said, winking at her. I knew Reggie put on that hat only when she was cooking something special and wanted to impress us with her cooking talents.

  Everyone went to the dining room and took their seats at the table.

  We enjoyed the meal, talked and laughed a lot. And even my friend Mia who could be a real pain in the ass looked relaxed and truly happy. You didn't need to be a detective to find the proof of her undeniable love for Ian. I was glad she met him. I wasn't the only person shattered after Rachel's death. She and Mia used to be very close, more like sisters than just friends or coworkers.

  But Eden was right about her brother. All the time dinner lasted, I could feel his studying eyes on me. No doubt, he paid attention to every word I said to his sister and noticed all the small gestures that would give away our secret.

  By the time we were done with the dessert and moved back to the living room, it was almost nine o'clock. Reggie said she would read Ariel a good night story, so the two of them left, and we could finally
relax and stop pretending.

  "When are you going to tell her everything?" Mia asked quietly, watching Ari leave the room.

  Ian gave me a curious look, as if he expected me say there was nothing to tell Ariel and that Eden and I were nothing but a boss and his employee.

  "Eden says it's too early. I can't argue with her, or there will be nothing to tell Ari."

  Mia smiled. "I'm happy for you guys, I really am." She looked at Eden and I saw sadness cross her features. I guess I knew what she was thinking at that moment. But she, just like Ariel and I needed to learn how to live without Rachel, keep the warm memories about her, but enjoy what we still had.

  "How are things with Mason going?" This time Mia's eyes were on me.

  I swallowed the remnants of my drink and went to refill the glass, saying on the way, "I wish the bastard never crossed the threshold of my house." Eden gave me a disapproving look, but she knew I hated my old 'friend' and there was nothing he could do to stop me from hating him. Besides, he was after MY girls now, so no power in the world would stop me from kicking his ass if he dared to hurt them.

  "Do you think she's ready to know he's her father?" Mia sipped her wine, with Ian sitting beside her.

  "Definitely not," Eden said. "But I'm sure she will accept him as her dad, one day. She likes him and he seems to be ready to comply with her every wish."

  "Good." Mia sighed. "Damn letter, it caused so many problems for everyone. I wish Rachel never told me about it."

  It was the moment she knew she said too much.

  Our eyes met across the room and I saw Mia's face reddened. She never blushed, unless she had her dirty fingers in the pie.

  "You knew about the letter…" Eden hurried to cover my hand with hers, as if trying to stop the hurricane that was about to burst through the door.

  "I'm sorry, Blake… I didn't have the right to tell you about it. I promised Rachel to keep my mouth shut."

  I rubbed the bridge of my nose, suddenly feeling like my head was about to explode.

  "How could you…" I gave her a murderous look. "How could you keep it from me?"

  "Blake, I…"

  "I don't care about the promise you made to Rachel! She's gone! And I'm still alive! You had to tell me everything, Mia! After all, Ariel is my responsibility now. I had a right to know about the letter that could ruin our life. Don't you think so?"

  "Calm down, Blake," Eden said. "You don't want Ariel to hear you, do you?"

  I jumped from the couch and left the room, as fucking furious as ever.

  "I'll talk to him." Mia rushed to follow me into my office. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. "You can't blame me for being loyal to her, Blake."

  "How long have you and I been friends, Mia?"

  "Almost twenty-five years."

  "Exactly! And you chose to lie to me!"

  "I didn't lie to you, Blake! Rachel wrote that letter a few days before she died. She told me to give it to Mason if anything happened to her. Of course, she wasn't going to die, and I wasn't going to send the letter after she died. But my secretary, she sent it along with the other documents that were on my table and I couldn't change anything."

  "You could have told me about it, so that Mason's visit wasn't such a low blow to me."

  "What would you have done?"

  "I don't know. Maybe I would have called the post office and told them to never deliver the fucking letter to Mason."

  "Or maybe what happened was supposed to happen anyway. Because Rachel did want to tell him about Ariel, sooner or later."

  "I'd prefer it happened later, much later." I sighed and sat down on my chair. "If only you could see the look he gave Eden when he saw her for the first time…"

  "I guess he was shocked, just like every one of us was."

  "Shocked is not the word…"

  "He loved Rachel, no matter what you think. I know he did. Rachel told me so many things she never told you about him and her relationship with him."

  "I don't care, Mia. I've lost so many years searching for at least a tiny sign of love in her eyes, but I never saw it there. I'm so tired of this… I don't want to be tied by the knots of my love for her anymore. I wanna be free. Do you understand?"

  "Trust me, I do. I know exactly what you are talking about. And maybe my sisterly love for Rachel is not even close to what you used to feel for her, but I know how hard it is to realize we will never see her again." Mia came to take a chair facing mine. "Losing her was a tragedy for everyone." She gave me a long look. "Including Mason."

  "Oh, please, Mia…"

  "I know what I'm talking about Blake. No wonder meeting her sister, who looks so much like her, was a…"

  "Her sister?" I thought I was hearing things, but then I saw Mia's terrified look and realized she just said another thing that she was never supposed to say in my presence.

  "Fucking wine," she mumbled. "It never does anything good to my rational thinking."

  I stood up and shook my head in disbelief. "Tell me you didn't mean it."

  Mia swallowed and stood up too. "I'm sorry, Blake. But it's true – Eden is Rachel's sister whom she lost many years ago."

  "Bullshit! Rachel was the only child in the family."

  "No. But she never told anyone about Eden because she didn't know if she was alive or not."

  "I don't believe it…"

  "Believe it or not, but the fact remains." She paused. "Honestly, I hoped you would see the obvious. Because I doubted I would ever be brave enough to tell you everything."

  My mouth hung with my lips slightly parted in another attempt to say something, only no words came out. My nostrils flared, lungs demanded more oxygen. My unblinking stare met Mia's again and I saw tears running down her cheeks.

  I covered my mouth with my palm and turned away from her. I stood at the window, seeing nothing behind it. Emptiness inside me grew to the size of a universe.

  "How is this possible?" I asked in a whisper, unable to make my voice sound louder.

  "Rachel lost Eden many years ago. It was shortly after their parents died in a fire. They were sent to live with their grandmother, Lily. Everything was fine, until the day she told them to go to the market to buy groceries."

  "The market?" I remembered Eden's weird behavior at the market yesterday.

  "Eden asked Rachel to buy her sweets. She left little Eden for a couple of minutes, but when she returned from the shop, she was nowhere around. Rachel and Lily had been trying to find her for many days. They went to the police, they asked everyone at the market if anyone had seen the girl they were looking for. But Eden was never found."

  I turned to look at Mia again. "Why? What happened to her?"

  "No one knows. My guess is something caused the loss of her memory and that's why she didn't remember anything but her name, and no one could help her find her family."

  "Dear Lord... This is unbelievable."

  Mia nodded, sobbing.

  "Eden's dying to get her memories back. What if she remembers everything one day? How am I supposed to explain this? She will hate us for hiding the truth about her sister…"

  "It's not all, Blake…" More tears pooled Mia's eyes. "Rachel did something I don't know how to tell you about…"

  I was ready for whatever she was going to say next, except the following…

  "Rachel saved Eden's life." Mia took a deep breath and proceeded. "When we found Eden, she was one step away from the grave. She needed surgery, but there was nothing we could do to help her with it, because finding a donor heart is not easy. Then Rachel asked me to prepare a document allowing the doctors to use her heart as a transplant in case she died."

  "What?" My whole body shook from shock.

  Crying, Mia spoke again, "I thought she was out of her mind, I told her it was such a stupid thing to do, considering she was young and full of life. But she said it was the only thing she could do to feel at least a little less helpless. Because she loved her sister so much, she couldn't belie
ve she was gonna die so soon."

  "When did it happen? I mean when did she find Eden?"

  "About a week before the accident."

  "I saw her the day the accident happened, but she never told me a word about Eden. Why?"

  "I guess she was too stressed about everything. She knew Eden was dying and it was so hard for her to accept it."

  I ran both hands through my hair and felt like I was about to cry too. But men don’t cry.

  "What happened next? Tell me everything."

  "When the accident happened and the doctors declared her brain dead, I remembered about the document she signed. She didn't have any relatives to approve of her will. And I was in charge of taking care of the legal side of the case. I couldn't keep Rachel's will a secret. I couldn't bring her back, but I could save her sister. And this is what I did – I brought the document to the hospital and gave it to Eden's doctor. Everything needed to be done really fast. And after testing Rachel's heart for a match, the doctor said it was a perfect fit and they performed the surgery. Eden survived and I knew I would do my best to take care of her. I couldn't leave her alone despite the fact that she had a family. Rachel would never forgive me for leaving her. I talked to Ian, I asked him about Eden and her life before the surgery, and then I knew it – I knew the only way to bring her closer to the sister she lost many years ago was to give her a part of her sister's life. So I called Reggie and told her everything. First, she was against my idea of sending Eden to work for you. But then, after I showed her Eden's picture, she changed her mind. Because she knew Ariel would accept her, unlike all the previous babysitters she hated so much. She needed her mom back, and it was the only way to make it happen."

  "What about me? What did you think I would do after meeting her?"

  "I knew you would try to fire her, because she was a vivid reminder of your lost love. But I also knew she was the only person able to cure your bleeding heart. I knew once you met her, you wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her. Because at first, she would be Rachel to you. But then, you would see a different girl in her. And yes, I secretly hoped for you to fall in love with her. Because I wanted you to be happy again. I wanted you to stop living in the illusive world of your love for Rachel. I wanted you to start a new life, with everything that you never got from Rachel. I wanted you to be loved, for real, maybe for the first time in your life. And now I know I did the right thing. Don't you agree?"