When You Are Near

by Tracie Peterson

  “You’ve talked about getting a dog once you were back on the ranch for good. I saw the advertisement in town when we came home. The Daniels family had a litter and held one for you so I could give it to you for Christmas.” Lizzy handed the squirming pup down to her mother, then jumped off the wagon.

  Mother laughed as the dog wiggled and began licking her face. “He’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

  “What will you call him?” Lizzy asked. “Barney Daniels has been working with him to obey a few commands. He’s just been calling him Pup.”

  “I don’t know what I’ll call him.” Mother released the puppy and let him explore the ground around them. He didn’t seem to know what to think of the snow. “I guess I’ll have to ponder that awhile and see what name fits him best.”

  Lizzy embraced her mother and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I hope he’ll make you feel a little less lonely.”

  Mother nodded. “I’m sure he will.” She hugged Lizzy close. “Thank you. I already know we’ll be the best of friends.”

  Christmas morning was spent in the company of the entire staff and household guests. Mother had arranged gifts for everyone, even the newest ranch hands. She made certain that each man had a new pair of work gloves and two pairs of wool socks, as well as a bevy of baked goods that she and Ella and Mary had worked on while Lizzy was busy with ranch business.

  Lizzy had gifted Mary and Ella with bottles of perfume and gave Jason and her uncle monogramed handkerchiefs. For Wesley, she had labored over the thought of a gift that wouldn’t be too personal, but just personal enough to remind him of her. She settled on a pocket watch and had his named engraved on it. It seemed to please him. He presented her with a beautiful leather-bound volume of Longfellow’s poems. It touched her deeply.

  “Your Mother made the bookmark, but I put it in its place,” Wes told her.

  Lizzy immediately wanted to look at the passage he’d marked, but Jason spoke up.

  “If I might,” he said, pulling a slender box from his jacket pocket, “I have a gift for Lizzy as well.”

  Lizzy couldn’t hide her surprise. Jason had gifted no one but Mother, and to her he gave a lovely music box. He told them he’d purchased a few things while in Kansas City, knowing he would spend the winter at the ranch.

  “When I purchased your mother’s present, I saw this and couldn’t refrain from buying it. You might think it a bit extravagant, but I felt it so perfect for you, especially given my thoughts for the future.”

  Lizzy took the box and opened it. She gasped at the sight of a jeweled necklace. A large yellow topaz was set in gold and hung on a delicate gold chain.

  She looked up to find Jason grinning from ear to ear. “I thought it complemented your eyes and hair. When I saw it, I knew you should have it.”

  “I, ah, I don’t know what to say.” Lizzy closed the lid. “It’s much too expensive, and I cannot accept it.” She looked to her mother for support.

  Mother came forward and took the box to examine the necklace. Lizzy stepped back and caught sight of Wes across the room. His eyes were narrowed and his brow furrowed. He put down his plate of food and left the house. Lizzy wanted to go after him but had no idea what she’d say to him. She thought she’d made it very clear to Jason that she had no interest in becoming more than friends, but his gift clearly suggested he still wanted things to be otherwise.

  “Lizzy’s quite right, Mr. Adler.” Mother smiled and replaced the lid on the box before handing it back to him. “It’s a beautiful necklace, but she couldn’t possibly accept it.”

  Jason looked around the room. “It was only a token . . . a gesture of my appreciation that she is staying on with the show another year. I meant nothing else.”

  “Still, it’s a very expensive and personal item.” Mother took Jason’s arm and patted his sleeve. “You were very thoughtful, but please understand. I cannot allow her to accept it.”

  The room fell silent, and Lizzy held her breath. If Jason protested, she feared it would spoil the Christmas spirit. The situation had already driven Wesley from the house.

  Mother, however, seemed completely at ease. “Now, I want everyone to come with us to the barn. I have one final gift for Lizzy. It was something her father and I planned.”

  Lizzy felt her chest tighten. Father had been part of this gift. How wonderful. She could almost feel him at her side. She followed her mother to the barn, not even bothering to put on her coat. The winter chill didn’t bother her at all. The thought of her father having planned this gift with Mother left her warm.

  By the time they reached the barn, Lizzy was giddy with excitement. She knew the gift must be a horse. When her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light, she could see that she was right. Wesley stood holding the halter of a feisty buckskin colt. Phillip was nearby just in case Wes needed help.

  “Merry Christmas, Lizzy dear,” Mother said. “This fella was born earlier this year. When your father first saw him, he told me that he knew you should have him.”

  “He’s beautiful.” Lizzy stepped forward for a closer inspection. Her gaze met Wesley’s, and she smiled. “I suppose you were in on this too.”

  He smiled, seeming to have forgotten the earlier matter. “I was with your father when he purchased him last January. He wasn’t even a month old but was already the finest quarter horse we’d ever seen.”

  She marveled at the beauty of the colt. He was skittish, but Lizzy spoke softly. “It’s all right, little fella. We’re going to be good friends, I just know it.” She looked at Wes. “Where did you get him?”

  “Over in Billings. Remember last winter just after Christmas when we made that trip?”

  “Yes. I wanted to go but had a cold and felt so lousy that Mother kept me in bed for a week.” The colt’s coat was the color of tanned deer hide, and his mane and tail as well as the lower half of his legs were black. He was regal in his stance, almost as if he knew how fine he was.

  “I love him, and I love that you have kept this surprise from me.” Lizzy gently touched the colt’s black muzzle. She glanced at Wes and saw the pleasure he took from her joy. She’d never wanted to kiss him more than in that moment.

  “He is a magnificent animal,” Jason said. “What will you call him?”

  Lizzy didn’t even acknowledge him. Instead she offered Wes a smile. “Emerson. For Ralph Waldo Emerson.”

  Wesley shifted his grip on the halter. “I suggest you keep him for breeding.” The colt was clearly getting agitated. “For now, however, I think I’d better put him back in the pen. He’s going to start kicking up his heels.”

  “And I think we should go back to the house for more hot chocolate and breakfast,” Mother declared.

  Lizzy went to her and linked their arms together. “I quite agree.”

  The day passed in merriments. They sang Christmas carols, played games, and ate until they could hold no more. Lizzy wasn’t at all sorry, however, when it was time to go to bed. She was exhausted from the day and fighting to keep her emotions in check. The gift of the colt had overwhelmed her. Knowing her mother and father had planned it since early in the year truly touched her heart.

  Standing at her bedroom window, Lizzy gazed out into the dark night. “I miss you so much, Father. But today, it almost felt as if you were here with us.” She drew a deep breath and pulled the curtains. She wasn’t going to let her feelings take charge. She needed to be strong.

  She walked to her bed and saw the book of poetry Wes had given her. She crawled into bed and snuggled under the covers before opening it to the place Wes had marked.

  “‘Memories,’” she read aloud, then continued in silence.

  Oft I remember those whom I have known

  In other days, to whom my heart was led

  As by a magnet, and who are not dead,

  But absent, and their memories overgrown

  With other thoughts and troubles of my own,

  As graves with grasses are, and at their head

  The
stone with moss and lichens so o’erspread,

  Nothing is legible but the name alone.

  And is it so with them? After long years,

  Do they remember me in the same way,

  And is the memory pleasant as to me?

  I fear to ask; yet wherefore are my fears?

  Pleasures, like flowers, may wither and decay,

  And yet the root perennial may be.

  Something inside her stirred to life despite her desperate attempt to bury her heart. It wasn’t really a declaration of love, but it was more than she’d had before. Dare she hope that love might still grow between them? Did she want it to?

  She thought of the painful sorrow her mother had experienced losing her husband. Lizzy had always admired the deep love her parents had for each other. They always seemed so happy in each other’s company. No matter how bad the situation, they always had each other. Now Mother was alone. Even Lizzy’s company couldn’t keep her from feeling Father’s absence.

  “How could I bear it if something happened to Wes?”

  She tucked the book under her pillow and blew out the lamp. Settling back on her pillow, Lizzy stared out into the dark, letting her eyes adjust.

  The muffled sound of her mother sobbing filtered through the walls. This was her first Christmas without Lizzy’s father. Lizzy ached for her—wished she could go to her and take the pain from her so that Mother could have a decent night’s sleep.

  “Please, Lord, take away her pain. Help her to endure this sad time. I don’t know how to help her, but I would give my life to make things right again.”

  Tears dampened Lizzy’s eyes, but she refused to cry. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her nightgown and pulled the thick quilt up over her head. Then she did likewise with her pillow to block out the sounds. To block it all out so that she didn’t have to feel anything.

  Mary Reichert sat opposite Zeb and Thomas at one of the bunkhouse tables. She’d asked specifically to speak with them, knowing they had taken August under their wing and taught him what they could about working for the Brookstone show.

  “Did he say anything to either of you when he came back to the train for the liniment that night?”

  “Said there was some trouble going on at the farm,” Zeb replied before taking a long drink of coffee.

  Thomas nodded and swirled the contents of his mug. “Some fella there accused him of snooping around, and when August tried to tell him all he wanted was liniment, the man threatened him.”

  Mary perked up. “Threatened him?”

  Thomas shrugged and put down the cup. “Yeah, told August he’d have to answer to Mr. Fleming if it happened again.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “But he didn’t threaten August with physical harm?”

  “Not that he said. Why all the questions, Miss Mary?”

  “I think someone did my brother harm. I don’t think he’d ever go near the Fleming colts, especially not after being warned about snooping. August wasn’t the kind to cause problems. He told Lizzy what happened only because he wanted to make sure Mr. Brookstone knew where he’d gone when he left the farm. He wasn’t seeking retribution for being driven out of the stable. I doubt he would have mentioned it at all if he hadn’t been worried about his absence being noted.”

  “That seems about right,” Zeb said. “Never knew that boy to buck authority.”

  “He wouldn’t have. Nor would he have gone into tight quarters with those green colts if he hadn’t been asked to. And if he was asked to, then someone at Fleming Farm did the asking—knowing full well the danger.”

  “Did anyone see him gettin’ trampled by those colts?” Thomas asked.

  Mary shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s unclear. From what Mr. Adler recalls, someone said August was found that way—already dead—in the pen of the colts.” She felt the words stick in her throat and found it impossible to go on without dissolving into tears. Getting to her feet, Mary forced a smile. “Thank you for answering my questions. If you think of anything else, please let me know. I think for now it’s best I go practice my shooting.”

  “Would you like some help with the targets?” Thomas asked, pushing back from the table.

  “No. I think I’d like to be alone.”

  nineteen

  Prince, come,” Mrs. Brookstone commanded the pup. The dog had quickly learned to obey and fell into step at her feet.

  “You have him eating out of your hand,” Wes teased as he led them into his bunkhouse office.

  “Well, it has been nearly a month, and Barney did a good job of getting him started,” the older woman said with a smile. “Prince and I are good companions. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present.”

  “I’m glad.” Wes knew that her spirits had been considerably brighter since receiving the dog. “Especially given that everyone plans to take off at the end of next month.”

  “Which brings me to the reason I asked to see you.” She took a seat in front of his desk, then snapped her fingers at the pup. “Prince, sit.” He instantly obeyed. Rebecca Brookstone turned her attention back to Wesley. “I want you to go with them as head wrangler.”

  “What?” He hadn’t anticipated this idea at all.

  She raised her hand. “I know you love the ranch and prefer the work here to that of the show, but I’m concerned about Lizzy.”

  “Is something wrong?” He tried not to sound too worried.

  “No, but neither do I want there to be. Oliver has taken Mark’s death quite hard. He’s sober now, most of the time, but that only makes him sadder. I fear once he’s on the show circuit, he’ll take to the bottle again.”

  “And you think I can keep him from doing that?”

  “I don’t know, but I know you care about him. Maybe just having a friend will help him remember his priorities. Regardless, I know Lizzy will need your support. Especially if Oliver does start drinking again.” She paused and lowered her gaze to her hands. “Speaking of Lizzy brings me to another aspect of my request.”

  Wes and Lizzy had seen little of each other since Christmas. Wes had been busy with calving season, while Lizzy had been practicing daily with Ella for hours on end. He knew from Phillip that Lizzy often came to visit Emerson, but that generally happened when Wes was tied up elsewhere.

  “Jason Adler intends to marry Lizzy.”

  This blunt announcement brought Wes back to the present. He knew Adler’s intentions. They had been clear from the moment he first arrived at the ranch. “I know.”

  “Lizzy isn’t in love with him and has made it clear that she has no desire to marry him. Still he pursues her, and I fear that once they’re on the road, he will continue to do so. I think Jason is a nice enough young man, but with the plans he has to take the show to England, I fear his persistence might wear Lizzy down. And that, combined with my concerns about what Oliver will do . . . well, it might leave Lizzy vulnerable.”

  “So vulnerable she’d marry a man she didn’t love?”

  Mrs. Brookstone shrugged. “Who can say? Lizzy hasn’t been herself since Mark died. I just feel that if you were there for her, it would make all the difference in the world. I know you love her, Wes.”

  He wasn’t ready to admit to his feelings aloud. So far he’d done good just to sort them out for himself.

  “I’m not pressing you to admit your feelings,” Mrs. Brookstone continued, fixing Wes with an understanding gaze. “That should be shared between you and Lizzy first. I just felt that I needed to speak to you about this while Oliver and Jason were gone, making final arrangements for the show.”

  The two men had taken off the previous week for Chicago. They would soon be back, however, and it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the performers showed up to start their daily practice runs for the show’s new routines.

  “I have no idea what Oliver’s condition will be when he returns. I hope he will refrain from drink, but who can say. I’ve already told Oliver that I think he should ask you to come on boa
rd. Jason has trimmed the number of men down considerably, and I fear that if you aren’t there, things may take a turn for the worse. Jason doesn’t know how much work it is to keep those animals in shape for their performances.”

  “I don’t know why Adler thinks he knows better than Mark and Oliver when it comes to the show.”

  “Moneywise, I’m sure he will manage things better,” the older woman assured him. “I truly believe Jason to be a good man with the show’s best interests at heart. But I agree with you where the animals and their care are concerned. Jason is used to handling bookkeeping, and I’m not sure he realizes the degree of work that goes into traveling with so many animals. But you do. You helped in the early years, and you know how difficult things can get.”

  “I do, and I know how pushy Adler is with Lizzy.”

  “So you’ll do it?” Her voice was hopeful.

  Wes couldn’t give her an answer. Not at that moment. He needed time to think. Maybe he could talk Lizzy into staying home. That would solve a lot.

  “Who will run the ranch?” he asked.

  “I will. Along with Sandy and Cookie and whoever else you tell me is competent enough to fill in for you. I can handle the bookwork, and the men can tell me what they need. We’ve got a good crew here—men who’ve been at this long enough to know what’s expected and needed. And since Jason has eliminated jobs for some of the older men, they can stay on here and help. I can’t bring myself to put them out completely.”

  Wes nodded. He’d hoped that would be the case. “I need to think on it, Mrs. Brookstone. I need to sit down with Oliver too. I think it ought to be his idea, asking me to come along. Don’t you?”

  She considered this for a moment, then nodded. “You’re right, and I know he does intend to speak to you about it, so I’ll leave it alone.” She got to her feet. “Thank you for hearing me out. Prince, come.” The pup jumped up and started wagging his tail as if they were about to head off on a grand adventure. “I don’t usually advise men to think with their hearts, but I hope this time you will—at least in part.” She gave Wes a smile, then left him to ponder all they’d discussed.