Facade: Facade

by Ashley Suzanne

  “So, tell me what happened.”

  “I was at the office, doing a bunch of paperwork, when a couple Feds came in and asked me to leave with them for questioning. Basically, what’s happening is, a guy who used to work for my firm started a new company and has been working with the government offices downtown to win bids for planning. Everyone thought it was just city contracts, but it’s so much more. Since this guy worked for my company, the Feds are investigating me to see if maybe this clown learned it from my office and took what he learned somewhere else to make more money. It’s all a misunderstanding, and it’s kind of cleared up, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Jacoby sighs into my neck, letting go of all of the day’s stress.

  “How did Tiffany get your phone?” I shouldn’t ask at a time like this, but if I don’t, it’s only going to eat at me.

  “It was in my desk when the Feds came. I didn’t have time to grab it. If you talked to Tiffany, why didn’t you know where I was?”

  “Well, if the bitch wasn’t so concerned with eating your dick, she might have told me what actually happened.”

  “You know I’ve never been unfaithful to you, right? Even when we weren’t officially together, I wasn’t with anyone else. Only you.” The guilt I had finally suppressed comes rising to the surface.

  “I believe you, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t purposely try to fuck with my head instead of just outright telling me what the problem was.” Jacoby shakes his head in disbelief and frustration.

  “Jacoby?” I whisper, ready to spill my secret.

  “Hmmm,” he hums into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. I’ve only been scared a few times in my life, but this takes the cake.

  “I have something to tell you.”

  “Ky, you can tell me anything. That’s what we do. Communication is what’s going to ensure our relationship stands strong.” Jacoby sits up and cradles my face in his palms. Tears prickle my eyes and one by one they start to spill down my cheeks onto the pillowcase.

  “I wasn’t faithful.” I close my eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment and hurt reflecting back at me. If the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t be able to not flip out. As I’m expecting him to react terribly, he takes the pad of his thumb and wipes the tears from my face.

  “Did you cheat on me? In the last 24 hours?” I shake my head no, not wanting to relive those moments where I almost gave myself to another man while clearly having feelings for Jacoby. I’ll never be able to thank Skylar enough for knocking on that door when he did.

  “Did you have sex with someone else? Before we had our talk last night?” The compassion in his voice is sending me over the edge. I want him to yell at me, call me a whore, leave … something…but he’s being so understanding and open. I shake my head no again.

  “Then you didn’t cheat. You don’t have to explain what happened, unless you want to. We all make mistakes, Kylee. Thank you for telling me,” he says, placing his soft lips over my swollen eyelids, attempting to tenderly kiss away the guilt. All he’s doing is making me fall for him even more than I already have.

  “Jacoby?” There’s one more thing I need to get off my chest before it eats me alive.

  “We don’t have to talk anymore tonight. You can tell me when you’re ready.” Jacoby lies back on his pillow, but instead of holding me, he’s on his back. I curl up into his side and look up at him.

  “But I want to say something else. Communication, right?”

  “You learn so quickly, young grasshopper,” he jokes, kissing my forehead. “If you really want to say something else, by all means, the floor is yours.”

  “I think I might be falling in love with you.” The words barely make it past my lips, but I’m so happy they do. My heart’s beating so quickly, I can feel it in my fingertips. I want so badly for him to say something back, but I don’t want it because I said it first. I want him to mean it when I hear it for the first time.

  Jacoby chuckles, pulling my body on top of his. “Red.” That’s all he says. Red. I try to maneuver myself off of him, but he holds me firmly in place. “Don’t you know? I’ve been in love with you.”

  “When did you know?” I’m almost positive that I do love him, but I need to know what he loves about me. Is it my looks? My personality? How good I am in bed?

  “I think I started falling in love with you just after Thanksgiving, but when I took you on that horse and carriage ride, I knew it for sure. The way your eyes lit up and the genuine smile on your face confirmed everything I thought I felt before. I knew right in that second, that for the rest of my life, I want to make you that happy. I want to see your eyes sparkle just like they did that night; just like they do right now.” My face flushes, knowing I’m so transparent.

  “That was the best date of my life,” I say with all honesty. I smile at the memory of the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, for no reason, other than to see me smile. It takes my breath away.

  I snuggle into Jacoby’s side while he softly runs his fingers up and down my arm. It’s going to sound really bad, but this is the first time I’ve ever been in bed with a man that I wasn’t just screwing. It’s not pretty, but it’s who I am.

  Scratch that; it’s who I was. Jacoby makes me want to be a better person; someone he can be proud to call his girlfriend.

  Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a turning point in everyone’s lives when they realize what they want and how to go after it; a moment that changes the person they are—sometimes for the good, others for the bad. This is my moment. Right here, in my bed, with my boyfriend. This is it.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Kylee

  One month later …

  “Jacoby!” I yell from my bedroom, frantic. “Have you seen my blue notebook?”

  I know it’s here somewhere, I just saw it a few days ago. The photo shoot for my book is happening today, and I really want to call the photographer and make sure everything’s okay. I just need to find that damn notebook with her phone number.

  “No, babe. Haven’t seen it.” Shit.

  I’ve made serious progress over the last month. As Mira likes to say, I got my head out of my ass and am focusing on my future. I’m just about done with my book, my editor is lined up and the photographer is taking the pictures for the cover.

  Kneeling on the floor, I look under the bed and happen to find it, along with Jacoby’s pants. How they got under the bed, I don’t know. I pull out the notepad and grab the jeans by the legs, sending his wallet crashing to the floor.

  Leaving the wallet back on the floor, I pick up my cell to call the photographer before I forget.

  “Hey, it’s Kylee Anderson. Just making sure we’re still on for today,” I say when she answers the phone.

  “Yep. The model should be here within the hour. I’ll send you some test shots when I’m finished.”

  “Toski, could you be any more amazing? I’ll wait for those pictures and we’ll go from there. Thanks again,” I say, ending the call when she says bye.

  Now, back to the other issue; Jacoby’s wallet. I pick it up, placing it on the edge of the dresser so he doesn’t forget it when he leaves for work later. Best girlfriend ever, I know.

  I decide to not let the demons win, and I don’t go through his private property. We’ve been going strong for a month and this is one of those things that can rock the boat. Once I look inside, I can’t take it back. I trust him, and if there’s anything he wants to tell me, he will.

  I walk into the living room to find Jacoby wearing next to nothing and talking on the phone.

  “Of course I’ll handle it, he’s my client. I’ll stay until it’s finished. I don’t care about anything but getting this project completed.” Jacoby hangs up the phone, turns around and looks a little nervous that I’m standing here eavesdropping on his conversation.

  “Kylee, hey. Didn’t know you were out here,” he says, looking in every direction but my eyes. That nasty little gut feeling is back.

>   “Okay, what’s going on? My girly-sense is going off like crazy. Talk to me.”

  Jacoby stands from the couch, walks toward me and puts his hands on my hips, drawing me into his body where I melt into him. It’s kind of sad the response I have to him. No matter what’s going on, if I’m upset or frustrated, he’s right here to make all the concerns in the world disappear.

  “Is it okay if we talk about it tonight? It’s going to take more than a few minutes to figure this out.” My palms suddenly feel very clammy and my stomach is turning so quickly, I’m pretty nauseous.

  “I don’t have a good feeling about this. If you’re gonna dump me, can you just do it now? My stomach is in knots, Jacoby.” Honestly, I would rather wait as long as possible to be dumped, but this is the kind of thing women say, and I’m no different than the rest.

  “It’s nothing to be worried about. Just something I need to take care of. Don’t worry.” I seem to remember that in all the TV dramas, when someone says “Don’t worry,” that’s what everyone does and it’s usually for the right reasons.

  “I’m probably going to worry, but if you wanna wait until tonight, that’s fine. I’ll be patient,” I lie.

  Jacoby takes off for his day at the office. Since we’ve been together, he’s cut back his hours at the office considerably, to spend more time with me and get to know each other. Must be nice to be the boss.

  With nothing else to do, I sit down in my office and get to work finishing my book. Even after a month of having this amazing space to work, it doesn’t feel real. Inching closer and closer to the self-imposed deadline, I’m panicking more and more every day. What if people hate it? What if they slam it? What if they love it and want more? Oh, the possibilities.

  After three solid hours of writing, I type those magical words that I’ve dreamed of since I started this journey. The End.

  The very first thing I do is call Jacoby, who doesn’t answer the call. I’m sure since it’s his one day in this week, he’s pretty swamped, so I let it slide. I don’t realize that I’m sitting in my chair and staring at the screen for over twenty minutes before my text notification goes off.

  Jacoby – Sry I missed ur call. What’s up?

  Me – I finished!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Jacoby – Ur book?

  Me – YEP!!

  Jacoby – I’m so proud of you. Dinner? My place? I’ll get us something special.

  Me – K. Sounds wonderful!

  Jacoby – My girlfriend … the author

  Me - *blushes* shhhh not ‘til it’s published

  I walk into my bedroom, toss the phone on the bed and start digging around in my dresser looking for something to wear. Eyeing the red lace bra, panty and garter set in my lingerie drawer, I pull it out, fully intending to celebrate tonight.

  My shower is quick so I can spend more time on getting ready. Preparing to totally wow Jacoby, I throw my hair in a tight bun, put on a grey pencil skirt, a white button-up blouse and black nylons over the lingerie. Naughty librarian always wins.

  Jacoby sends me a warning text that he’s on his way home. Since it’s going to take about the same amount of time for me to get to his place, I gather up my purse and coat, throw on my black five-inch stiletto pumps and I’m out the door.

  I don’t know how, but I beat Jacoby to his house. We exchanged keys earlier in the month, but under the pretense of emergency purposes only. I feel weird just walking into his house without him home. Deciding to wait on him to get here, I check my email and social media sites for the fifteen minutes it takes him to arrive.

  “Why didn’t you just go in?” Jacoby asks, carrying bags of food.

  “I don’t know. Didn’t feel right, I guess.” I take one of the bags from him so he can unlock the door.

  Once all the food is on the counter, Jacoby takes his time admiring my attire. His eyes slowly wander up my body, taking time to appreciate the extra effort I put forth. When his gaze stops at my breasts, the heat emanating off of him takes me by surprise and I’m almost positive we’re going to eat a cold dinner, yet again, tonight.

  “You grab the wine, I’ll grab the food.” I look down at my clothes, surely missing something. He was just staring at me like I was the food.

  Doing as he requests, I grab a bottle of wine from the fridge and a couple glasses from the cupboard and head into the dining room. Jacoby’s quick on my tail, carrying plates and silverware.

  We sit down at the table, I pour us each a glass of white zin and Jacoby puts a piece of grilled chicken, steamed vegetables and some kind of rice down on my placemat. Picking up a piece of broccoli, the tension is so thick I can feel it down to my bones.

  “So, what I wanted to talk about,” Jacoby says out of left field, causing me to almost choke on a bite of broccoli.

  “One of my very important clients is in a bit of a bind. The foreman that was hired for the job flaked and I need to go handle it.” Okay, this isn’t so bad.

  “Oh, that’s all? You had me stressed all day for that?”

  “It’s in Vancouver, Kylee. I’m going to have to stay until the job’s finished and they just started.”

  “Okay, so how long is that? A few days, weeks, what?” I know this is his job, but in the last six months, he hasn’t gone anywhere for work that was more than an hour away.

  “I’m not sure, but since the job’s just started, it’s probably going to be months. I’m thinking of just leasing a house for six months. It’ll make sense.”

  “There’s nobody else that can do it?” There has to be another person that can help out in situations like this. Companies can’t just expect a CEO to drop everything and clean up messes and shit. That’s what employees are for.

  “There might be, but I’ve already told them I’m relocating to Vancouver for six months. It’s my company, Kylee, I have to do everything I can to make sure it stays ahead of the game.”

  I get it, I really do, but every time we take a step forward, we take two back. It’s like a fucking yo-yo and it’s a little much for me to take in right now.

  “Jacoby, I know you have a company to run, but how could we not talk about this. You said communication and you’ve just made a decision that affects me just as much as you. You didn’t even consider my feelings did you?”

  “No, honestly I didn’t. I knew you would be upset about me leaving for a while, but I didn’t think you would be this mad.”

  “I’m not mad, my feelings are hurt. You said yourself that there are other people to do the same work and you could stay here. Why is that not a viable option for you?”

  Jacoby huffs and shoves his hand up to his hair. He’s not understanding why I’m upset and continuing to explain it to him is going to do nothing more than frustrate me.

  “I need a minute,” I say, standing up and walking upstairs.

  Now that I’m up here, I realize there are so many rooms that I’ve never even bothered to enter. Is one of these his daughter’s? Has Dawn slept in the same bed as we do? When he’s having sex with me, does he think of her? Does he not want to be with me? Is this his way of running from me? Does he have another girl up there? If he wanted to be with me, he would’ve asked me to go with him.

  Reaching the door directly across the hall from Jacoby’s bedroom, I open it, only to find the most precious room any little girl could dream of. Light pink walls, all white furniture, Barbie dolls galore and a rack of dresses to play dress-up.

  I pluck one of the play dresses off the tiny hanger, only to realize that it belongs to Cinderella. The rest of the Disney Princesses fall in line. This entire scene is reminding me of a book Mira let me borrow. I think it was called Entice by S.E. Hall. Basically, the one Disney-crazed girl has a birthday party and wants everyone to come dressed as a Prince or a Princess. The book’s amazing, but that scene in particular keeps circling my brain.

  One of the girls in that book was a Daddy’s Girl on top of her strange adult obsession with cartoons, but who am I to judge. I remember reading the fi
rst book in that series and feeling sad that my own daddy didn’t love me like Laney’s dad loved her.

  Now, I’m faced with the fact that Jacoby already has his little girl. Judging by the amount of toys, time and effort put into this little girl’s haven, I won’t be able to compete. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not one to ever try to come between anyone and their family, but Jacoby and I are really starting to get to a point where we can move forward, and since he’s already done this before, it won’t be a first for us.

  All of my important firsts have been with him and I just feel left out. I’m more sad and disappointed that he’s waited until I’m emotionally invested before he springs this on me, and now once I’m ready to move past it and go forward, he’s leaving me for half a year.

  “This is Shelby’s room,” Jacoby says, sneaking up behind me. He tries to wrap his arms around my waist, but I step forward, unable to be soothed by his touch at this point.

  “I figured. Unless you have some strange fetish we should discuss,” I say, flatly.

  “Can we talk about this, please?”

  “Jacoby, what is there to talk about? You made your decision and it’s not a fair one. You want me to be in your life and have you in my heart. Well, that means that sometimes you have to think of my feelings and you didn’t. There are a lot of things you could have done, but you chose not to do them. This is the second time you’ve blindsided me with life altering information and never once thought to talk to me before hand.”

  “Kylee, let me get someone else to go. I didn’t think it was that big of a problem.”

  “That’s the exact point I’m trying to make. It is a big deal. You not understanding why I’m upset is a problem and the fact that you still don’t get it; that speaks volumes. I’m gonna take off. I’ll call you later.” I brush past him, walk downstairs and have my stuff in my arms before he reaches the landing.