JUDE: Lords of Carnage MC

by Daphne Loveling

  “What tipped the cops off to finding his body?” Hawk asks.

  “From what Pete said, I gather a nosy neighbor called in a nuisance property after the mail started piling up and the lawn started goin’ to shit. He said that after they found the body, they went around to where he works. Worked, that is. His boss said André wasn’t the most responsible guy, so when he stopped showing up, they just figured he’d decided to quit and didn’t bother telling anyone.”

  “What’d Myers say about a possible motive? They got any suspects?” Tank grunts.

  “Took me a bit to get him to open up about that,” Angel answers. “He said the murder looked like it was done by someone who knew what they were doing. Professional. And that judging from the contusions, bruise marks, and shit, there were multiple people involved. Holding him down, and shit. So they’re suspecting he ran afoul of some bad guys, maybe stole from the wrong people or something.”

  “That’s positive,” Hale pipes up. “Should keep the TSPD moving in a direction away from Lila. Did Myers say anything about the fact there was a girl’s bedroom in the house, but no girl?”

  “He did mention that. I told him I knew the guy. That Lila was essentially his stepdaughter, but she moved out months ago, because the guy was bein’ a creeper.”

  I exhale. “Are the cops gonna be wanting to question Lila now?”

  “Yeah,” Angel says. “But they ain’t lookin’ at her as being involved. So as long as she can keep her story straight and her shit together, it ain’t gonna be a problem.”

  It’s a good thing Lila’s eighteen now, I realize. If this had happened a year or two ago, she’d be looking at foster care, or a group home. “You think she should point them in the direction of Pecher’s men when she goes in for questioning?”

  “My gut says no.” Angel leans back in his chair. “The less they think she knows about any of this, the better.”

  “Speaking of what Lila knows, how much have you told her about your conversation with Myers?” Thorn asks.

  “As of now, she only knows that the cops found the body,” Beast answers. “I told her that last night. She had questions, but I said we’d know more today, and we’d tell her when we had a better handle on things. Angel wanted to call church before we spoke to her.”

  “Anything else we should cover?” Angel asks, scanning the room. “Tweak, you got any more intel on Pecher’s operation, or on locating Lila’s dad?”

  “Still workin’ on her dad. Far as Pecher’s operation is concerned, it’s gone dark. The restaurant Lila took the delivery to is closed. The windows and doors are boarded up. I’m not getting any chatter from my sources about any activity from his crew, either.”

  “Power vacuum, maybe,” Ghost suggests. “Since Pecher’s gone. Or maybe the rest of them are laying low, trying to figure out who offed him.”

  “Or trying to make it look like they’ve gone dark,” Tank offers. “Biding their time.”

  “Or that,” Beast agrees.

  “Okay. Tweak, keep me in the loop on anything else you find out. I think we’re done here. Beast, let’s bring Lila into my office.” Angel bangs the gavel and gets to his feet. “The rest of you, keep your eyes and ears open for any unusual activity around the clubhouse grounds. You see anything, you come tell me right away.”

  As Angel leaves with Beast, the other Lords stand up and leave the chapel. I stay behind, lost in thought. I’m trying to imagine how Lila is taking the news that the cops found André’s body. Whatever she’s feeling, I’m sure she’ll put on a brave, tough face and act like she’s fine.

  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about kissing her at the lake. And how she responded to me, her body molding itself to mine… until suddenly she tensed up like a taut rubber band and pulled away from me.

  At first, I was kind of pissed, because, well, I’ll be blunt: I ain’t used to girls turning me down. Especially not girls who kiss back like that. For the ten seconds or so before Lila pulled away, I felt like I was seeing inside her. Like she was finally letting me in. It felt good. Really good. Until she boomeranged, and then suddenly she started acting like I was a total stranger.

  After we were back at the clubhouse and she had gone to bed, and I’d thrown back enough shots to get some distance, I figured out what was going on. I kept rolling Lila’s words from earlier in the evening around in my head. About how she was always afraid of having Brooke get sick of her for being too needy. How she felt like no one really wanted her, but just let her stick around as long as she didn’t take up too much space.

  For as long as I’ve known Lila, she projects toughness. Independence. Even as a thirteen-year-old kid, she always seemed older than her years.

  But it’s an act. It’s always been an act. And last night, she pulled away from me because she couldn’t maintain the act. She was afraid of losing control.

  Oh, baby girl, I think as I picture pulling her into my arms again. Losing control can be better than you’ve ever known. I can wait. But sooner or later, I’m gonna show you.

  My phone buzzes in my pocket as I wait for Lila to get done talking to Angel and Beast. Pulling it out, I see it’s another text from Jewel. She’s called once and texted four times. I know she wants to talk about our parents and what happened the other night. But I ain’t about it. Not right now, anyway. I know she’s gonna try to talk me into trying again with them. Fuck that. Jewel only knows part of the story of what happened after she left Indiana. The rest of it, I’ve never told her, or anyone else. And ain’t no way our mother or father would tell her. There are some things a person can’t forgive.

  Lila emerges from Angel’s office a little while later. Her face is pale, her jaw set.

  “You okay?” I murmur.

  “Yeah,” Lila answers, seeming dazed. She squeezes her arms tight around her torso. “Do you know about André? That the police found his body?”

  “Angel briefed us a bit ago in the chapel. Hey, we knew it was only a matter of time until he’d be found. We knew this was coming.”

  Lila turns away, and stares at a spot on the far wall. “Angel and Beast said things are gonna be fine,” she recites, almost robotically.

  “They are,” I reassure her. When she doesn’t respond, I lift a hand to her chin, and turn her face towards me. “Lila. They are going to be fine. I promise you.”

  Her eyes meet mine. Her eyelids flutter, like she’s struggling to keep herself from looking away. I think I see her tremble a little.

  “I’m scared,” she finally says.

  “I know.” I use my index finger to caress her cheek. “But you’ve got people in your corner. You’ve got all of us. You’ve got me. You’re not alone.”

  I drop my hand, before she can get nervous and pull away. Lila blinks, drops her eyes.

  “Thanks, Jude,” she whispers. But something about the way she says it makes me think she doesn’t quite believe it.

  18

  Jude

  A couple days later, Angel has me bring Lila down to the police station so Pete Myers can question her. Myers doesn’t seem fazed by my involvement, and from the way he acts, it seems like he assumes I’m Lila’s boyfriend. I don’t correct him, since he also makes the assumption that she’s been living with me since way before André’s murder. I wonder whether Angel put that idea in his head, but either way it works to Lila’s advantage. The line of questioning he takes with her is routine, and Beast helped her get ready for it, so she comes through like a champ.

  Lila’s so good at putting on a tough front that she even fools me sometimes, but after we leave the station, I almost visibly see her deflate.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathes, raising a hand to her forehead. “That was scary as hell.”

  “You killed it in there, babe. You’re fine.”

  “You think so?” She gives me a worried frown. “Jesus, Jude, I’m going to be running through every single thing he asked me and everything I said over and over the rest of the day. I’m gonna make
myself crazy.”

  “Nah, you’re not,” I drawl.

  Lila rolls her eyes at me. “You might not if you were in my shoes, but I will.”

  “Nah, I mean, I thought you might be kind of jacked up after talking to Myers, so I thought of something that’d take your mind off it.”

  Lila gives me a suspicious squint. “What do you mean?”

  We reach my bike. I pull the helmet off the handlebar and hand it to her. “The county fair is on this week. We’re going to it.”

  She freezes. “What?”

  “You ever been to a county fair?”

  She shakes her head. “Never in my life. I mean, who the hell was gonna take me?”

  “Well, there you go. It’s time you experience it.” I straddle the bike. “So stop yakking and get on.”

  In truth, I think fairs are pretty cheesy. But in this case, they’re cheesy in a good way, since I’m banking that the novelty will appeal to Lila. Turns out, I’m right on the money. The ride to the fairgrounds takes almost half an hour, and already by the time we get there, I can tell she’s feeling more relaxed. We park the bike and head to the entrance, and by the time we get inside she’s already exclaiming at the size of the ferris wheel, and chattering about how she’s only ever ridden a merry-go-round before.

  “Will you go on the rides with me? I don’t think I wanna go on anything that spins round and round like a Tilt-A-Whirl, but I definitely want to try the ferris wheel and the roller coaster,” she rambles. “Oh, and maybe if there’s a log ride. Do they do those at county fairs?”

  “Sure. But if I’m gonna ride on all these rides with you, in exchange you gotta help me settle a debate.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Whether pronto pups or corn dogs are better.”

  Lila gapes at me. “What? What the hell’s a pronto pup?”

  “You know what a corn dog is, right?” Lila nods. “Well, it’s like a corn dog, except those are made with corn meal. Pronto pups batter is made with flour.”

  She wrinkles her nose. “How do you even know this?”

  I shrug. “It’s common knowledge. You’ve just led a sheltered life.”

  As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I wanna bite them back. After all, Lila just got done being questioned about the murder of her mom’s boyfriend. The life she’s led has been anything but sheltered. But thankfully, she just giggles and gives me a punch in the arm. “Fine, I’ll help you decide your weird pronto pup thing. But… maybe we should do that after the roller coaster.”

  So we decide to head to the coaster first. It’s not a very impressive one — doesn’t even go upside down. But Lila doesn’t seem to care. Honestly, it is cute as fuck how she squeals every time we crawl up a hill, and screams her head off every time we go plunging back down. When the ride is over, her short hair is blown back from her face, and her cheeks are flushed pink.

  “That was so fun!” she gushes. “I can’t believe I’ve never done that before!”

  “Wanna go again?”

  “Later, maybe, if there’s time after all the other rides. Let’s go get food now.”

  We walk the fairgrounds until we find a corn dog stand and a pronto pup stand that are close to each other. She stands in line at one, and I stand in line at the other, and then we meet in the middle with two footlong dogs.

  “I wasn’t sure whether you’d want mustard or ketchup,” she tells me, “so I just got mustard.”

  “Good choice,” I say approvingly. “Ketchup only belongs on fries.”

  We share both dogs, handing them back and forth until they’re gone. The verdict: both of us agree corn dogs are far superior to pronto pups.

  “I mean,” Lila says as we walk away, “pronto pups are like a hot dog wrapped in a pancake. That was just… weird.”

  “I’d eat one in a pinch. But yeah, corn dogs rule for sure.”

  We walk through the midway toward the ferris wheel next. I ask Lila if she’s scared of heights, and she says no, so I figure she’ll have a good time on this ride. “It’s pretty tame,” I warn her. “But the good part of a ferris wheel is the view. You’ll be able to see for miles up there.”

  But it turns out, Lila doesn’t think it’s as tame as I expected. It ain’t the height that gets to her. It’s the fact that the car rocks back and forth when you move too much. By the second revolution of the big wheel, Lila is starting to freak the fuck out.

  “This is scary as hell,” she whispers. “Why didn’t you tell me the baskets weren’t stable?”

  “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna fall out.” I start to turn toward her, and the car sways a little, making her yelp.

  “God, don’t move!” she gasps, and grips the bar in front of her, white-knuckled.

  Poor Lila’s face is pale as a ghost. I think about teasing her and rocking the car a little more, but I just can’t do it to her. She’s legit way too scared.

  “You know,” I murmur, moving my hand over hers. “This ride is a hell of a lot safer than the motorcycle we rode here on.”

  She swallows. “Don’t try to logic me through this, Jude. Just keep still and let me work on not having a panic attack until this is over.”

  “You’re not gonna hurl, are you?”

  “Shut up, Jude!” she snaps.

  I hold back a chuckle.

  When the ride ends a few minutes later, Lila is out of that car like a shot as soon as the carny unlatches us. “Jesus, I will never go on one of those again as long as I live,” she shudders.

  “The view was great, though, you gotta admit.”

  “I wouldn’t know,” she hisses. “I was too busy trying not to die.”

  “You are looking a little peaked,” I remark. “You could probably use some sugar in your system, if you can stand to eat.”

  “I guess that sounds like a good idea.” She sounds dubious.

  “You ever had a funnel cake?”

  Turns out the answer is no. And it also turns out, she fucking loves them. By the time she’s licking the last of the powdered sugar off her fingers, it’s like the ferris wheel incident never happened. I’ll give this much to Lila, she bounces back quick.

  “Hey, I have an idea!” she says. “I challenge you to a game.”

  I burst out laughing. Lila’s competitiveness is the first thing I ever knew about her. Literally the first thing she did the day we met was challenge me to a video game. She didn’t even know my name yet.

  “All right,” I agree, since she looks so excited. “Which one?”

  As we walk, she scans the options. Finally, she points. “The balloon darts one?”

  “Fine by me.”

  We walk up to the booth and I pay for two sets of darts. Lila goes first. She does better than I expected, especially since pretty much all these games are rigged so they’re damn hard to win. She takes a long time in between throws, considering which balloons to aim for. I notice she tends towards the bigger ones along the edges of the board. In the end, she hits two balloons, which wins her a medium-sized stuffed animal. She picks a lion with brown fur and an orange mane. “A friend for Spike,” she jokes.

  I go next. I hit a couple balloons, but not hard enough to break them. Beside me, Lila cheers me on, but I know she’s enjoying the fact that she beat me. Hell, I don’t mind. It’s worth it to see her so happy. I pretend to be pissed about losing, though.

  “Okay, okay, gloat all you want,” I grumble. “I gotta go take a leak.”

  “I’ll wait for you on that bench over there,” Lila says. “And think about what we should do next.”

  19

  Jude

  I’m gone for a couple minutes longer than I expect to be, since I run into a guy I know on the way back who I haven’t seen for a while. After a promise to go grab a beer sometime soon, I make my way toward the bench where I left Lila.

  The first thing I see when I get there is that there’s a small crowd gathered next to the bench, and that the bench itself is empty except for Lila’s s
tuffed animal. Alarm bells sound in my head, and I break into a jog, already fucking furious with myself for being dumb enough to leave her alone, even for a second.

  As I get close, I hear Lila’s raised voice coming from the center of a group of beefy-looking guys. One of them lets out a loud guffaw. She’s getting hassled, I realize, and maybe worse. I run faster, and break through the crowd to see one of these meatheads with his fist closed around her arm. Before I can do anything, though, Lila lets out a yell, and lifting a foot, brings it down hard on the guy’s instep. He howls in pain, and loosens his grip enough that she wrenches free, then shifts her weight and brings up the palm of her other hand and rams it up into the guy’s nose.

  “Fuck you!” Lila screams as he doubles over and covers his face. Blood starts to spurt through his fingers as he roars in agony.

  One of the other guys makes a move like he’s gonna help out his buddy. I step in front of him and block his path.

  “You tellin’ me your friend here needs help against a girl half his size?” I challenge. “You really gonna be proud of going two against one with this chick?”

  The dude opens his mouth to reply, but no words come out. After a second, he snaps it shut again.

  “You fuggin’ bitch!” the hurt one gurgles.

  “Don’t you dare call me a bitch, you fuckin’ rapist wannabe!” Lila snarls back. She stands like a fighter at the ready, legs planted, waiting for the next punch.

  One of the other men in the crowd, holding a half-drunk plastic cup of beer, hoots and pumps his fist.

  “You broge my fuggin’ dose, you cunt!” the dude chokes out as blood streams down his face.