Allure (Booklet Dreams Book 1)

by C. A. Harms

  “I have letters from my eighth-grade boyfriend, and then William, the guy that proposed to me when I was a sophomore in college.” Raven shrugged her shoulders. “Does that mean that I’m secretly harboring feelings for the both of them? Does it mean they hold my heart and no one will ever fill the void they left?”

  I narrowed my eyes at my sister; her sarcasm was hard to miss.

  “If he wanted to be with Harley, he never would have fell for you.”

  “It’s true,” Maddison said as she too looked at me like I was dense. “Rhett wasn’t raised to treat women like they were dispensable. His mom would throttle him, and Reed, well that guy is nothing short of remarkable. He was raised right, AJ. I can vouch for that.”

  “So what the both of you are saying is that I overreacted?”

  Maddison held her hand up, with her thumb and forefinger just barely apart. “Just a bit.”

  “Hell yes you did.” Raven didn’t even attempt to sugar coat it.

  Now I just felt like a dumb ass.

  Chapter Thirty

  Rhett

  I held on to the reins of Dusty, my grandad’s horse, and led him out to the edge of the fence. I’d spent the entire morning feeling like I’d been kicked in the gut over and over. I’d never felt so unsettled.

  Mikey, Dad, and even Colton had tried to drag me out of my mood. Each offering one distraction after the next, but nothing worked. I’m sure it had a lot to do with the fact that I didn’t want anything but AJ. She was the only person who could make this better.

  Dusty huffed, shaking his head from side to side, as I gathered the reins and tossed them up and over his head. “What’cha say, boy,” I patted his shoulder, “wanna go for a ride?” Again, he huffed and sidestepped as I moved in to place my foot in the stirrups.

  I grew up riding, and it had been something I hadn’t done a lot lately. I remember being a kid and spending hours out in the fields, getting lost for hours on the trails with Dad and Grace. I remember the feelings it would bring me, like I was free.

  I guess I just wanted that feeling back now. To pretend that even for an hour, I wasn’t lost.

  I climbed up on his back, taking the reins in my hands as I looked out over the open land around me. Hundreds of acres, lakes, and hills, and for a short time I was able to let go of the heartache I felt.

  My mind explored the idea of becoming a father. I’ll admit it was a terrifying thought but one I could honestly say would be an adventure. AJ and I being tied together by a small little person who looked to the both of us for guidance. It was an amazing thought.

  It was times like these I thought of my father, my biological father. I admired Reed; he was the man that taught me to be who I am today. To be honorable and strong, he guided me when I felt lost and turned me back around, setting me off once again in the right direction. He was my dad and I would always be grateful for the life he gave me, but it never fully stopped me from wondering what life would be like had my father not been killed before I got the chance to meet him.

  I used to be afraid to ask about him, fearful it would make Reed feel as if I loved him less. But it was him who came to me and told me that it was all okay. He made sure over the years that my real father remained a part of our lives. Pictures sat around the house, videos that my grandparents sent us, something I’d watch often, and, hell, sometimes Reed, the man I’m proud to call my dad, watched them with us.

  I just wished that he could see me. That he could be a part of my life, and that maybe I could get some reassurance that he’d be proud of the man I’d become. I may never have met him, but it never stopped me from doing all I could to be who I’d thought he’d want me to be.

  Dusty led me to the peak that overlooked the biggest lake on my grandad’s land, and we paused as I looked out over the area below. It felt like it went on for miles, so peaceful. The sun had begun to set, and the view reminded me of the many sunsets AJ and I shared as we lay on the couch, looking out the window. It had easily become somewhat of a routine for her and me.

  I closed my eyes as I envisioned sharing more sunsets, only this time we shared those times with a little boy or girl. It brought a smile to my face. Was I ready to be a father? Could any man ever say they were truly ready? But I knew that with AJ by my side, it didn’t terrify me. It actually excited me.

  I pulled on the reins, turning back to the house way off in the distance, and with a gentle nudge at Dusty’s side, we began moving back toward my grandparents.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  AJ

  “He’s out riding,” Rhett’s grandfather said as he pointed off in the distance. “Been gone for close to two hours now, so I’d guess he’ll be back anytime. Why don’t you come inside and wait?”

  “Do you care if I walk out toward the fence, maybe look at the horses?”

  “Not at all. If you wanna take one and go out and look for him, I’d say take Milly. She’s gentle, and Grace prefers her over all the others.” He brushed his dirty hands off onto his coveralls. “He went out toward the lake, always takes the same route when he rides. Look for the tallest peak and that’s probably where you’ll find him.”

  “I think I’ll just wait it out for a bit.” I offered a smile. “Haven’t gone riding since I was about ten years old.”

  “It’s like riding a bike, sweetheart.” He chuckled. “But if you wanna wait it out, go on ahead. If you need anything, you head on up to the house.”

  I thanked him as he walked off and began climbing the stairs of the wraparound porch to the house. My stomach had been unsettled all day as I rehearsed over and over all the things I wanted to say to Rhett. I’d gone through the pros and the cons of my actions versus his. I tried to blame him, then I tried to blame me, but in the end, I’d settled on the fact that maybe both of us had gone about things wrong. It was just easier that way than passing blame.

  I walked up to the wooden fence surrounding the large span of land that the horses had free rein of and leaned against the post. There was one in particular, brown, with a white spot that covered one half of her face and trailed down along the same side of her neck. She walked along the far side of the fence, slowly placing one foot in front of the other. Her head turned toward the lake to the right, almost as if she was lost in deep thought.

  To be that peaceful and content.

  The sounds of hooves beating the ground caused me to step back and look around. Off in the distance, I could see him; the movement of the horse he rode slowed to a simple walk as he looked back at me. He wasn’t smiling, but he was staring at me as if he wasn’t sure I was really there.

  There had only been a few times I’d seen Rhett in cowboy mode, and that was when he was helping out here at his grandfather’s. But none of those times had he looked as breathtaking as he had now. He wasn’t the kind who wore the cowboy hats; he opted for the baseball cap instead, turned backward, his face completely viewable. But it was the tight t-shirt that hugged his arms, shoulders, and chest. The snug jeans that fit him perfectly and made those muscles of his thighs even more mouthwatering. His worn, rugged cowboy boots were tucked into the stirrups on each side of the horse, and for a minute I felt like it was impossible to breathe. I found myself tearing up at the idea of walking away from him.

  I knew I couldn’t, not with my heart intact.

  He slowed to a stop about ten to fifteen feet away and slid from atop the horse. I still wasn’t sure what to say, or even if I’d be able to speak if I tried. But he didn’t give me a chance, and I was grateful.

  Rhett moved toward me, cupping the back of my neck and pulling my lips in to meet his. Giving into the need to feel his body close to mine had never felt more exhilarating than that moment, and his mouth continued to demand my own, his tongue devouring and conquering. This kiss was not a sweet reunion kiss, but a claiming one. I knew it was his way of telling me everything I’d denied last night.

  “You can fight me.” He practically growled the words, still holding the back of my ne
ck in his hand. Our foreheads were pressed firmly together, and he showed no signs of releasing his grip. “You can try to look for all the fucking wrongs, AJ, but in the end, you’ll understand that you are all I want. You’re all I think about, and that's never gonna change.”

  My eyes began to burn as I closed them tighter to fight off the tears.

  “I won’t let you push me away.” His voice was so demanding, so direct. “Nothing and no one is gonna change my feelings for you. I love you now, I’ll love you next week, and I’ll still fucking love you ten years from now.”

  “Will you love me when I’m fat with swollen ankles?”

  Rhett leaned back, looking at me with wide eyes before he pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth in a sweet kiss. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

  “Even when I’m screaming at you through the pain of each contraction?” Suddenly his arms were holding me securely as he rocked me from side to side. “Yes, because even though you’ll feel like you hate me then, I’ll know you actually love me.”

  “I’m sorry I left last night.” I buried my face in his chest and breathed in his cologne I loved so much. “I should have stayed so we could talk it out.”

  “Yes, you should have.” I lifted my head and looked up at him to find him smiling down at me. “But I understand. You need to understand that she was my past, and you and our baby are my future. Even if that test was negative, you would still be the woman I chose. I adore you, AJ. You’re the one I see myself building a life with. Please understand that.”

  ***

  I lay sprawled out on Rhett’s bed as I watched him walk toward me. Reaching over his head, he began to gather his shirt at the back of his neck, and slowly it began to lift, exposing his stomach and then chest.

  Evidence of years of helping his grandfather and even Reed couldn’t be missed. His stomach was taut and defined, arms that when I was wrapped in them I felt so safe and adored. He was my perfection, everything I’d imagined and more.

  He dropped his shirt to the floor and reached for the buckle of his jeans, unfastening them, but leaving his jeans in place. Call me crazy, but seeing the waistband of his boxers peeking out of the now unzipped jeans, his defined abs, and that mouthwatering little dip on each side near his hips, never failed to make my head feel hazy.

  I remained in place, allowing him to crawl over me and lower his body to mine. The way he positioned his body weight to the side, careful not to put too much pressure on my stomach, made my heart flutter. He’d always been so careful with me, so alert of what I was feeling at the time, or what I needed. He was a dirty, and sexy, and demanding man, but I handle each one of those needs in a way that made them perfect.

  “I’m not scared,” he whispered as he kissed along my jaw. “Becoming a father, it should terrify me, but it doesn’t.” I closed my eyes when his lips pressed to my own in a sweet, gentle kiss. “I know it’s because of you. Because I feel like with you next to me I can do anything.”

  I cupped his face with my hands, and for a few silent seconds, we just stared at one another.

  “I can assure you that you’re gonna be an amazing father. Our little one is the luckiest baby in the world, because not only is he or she getting you, they’re getting your family and even mine. They’ll be drowning in love.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded, his eyes scanning my face. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Allison Jo.” My vision clouded with unshed tears, and my throat bobbed as I attempted to gain some control. “Thank you for loving me.”

  “It’s impossible not to,” I confessed.

  I was so in love with him that I think it was a borderline obsession. The man was everything I’d ever wanted and more.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Rhett

  Waking with AJ in my arms after the fear of losing her was the best feeling. It was like I was complete again, I was whole. Her naked ass pressed against me, my arms snaked around her front, feeling her bare chest against my hand. It may sound lame, but my heart was full.

  Careful not to wake her, I moved my hand lower, resting my palm on her stomach. In the silence of the room, only the sounds of her soft breathing echoing throughout, I was amazed by what lay beneath my hand. We’d made a baby together, and though it wasn’t something we tried for, I felt it happened for a reason. Like it was the confirmation of the fact that she and I belonged together. The connection I’d already felt to her was now cemented and unbreakable.

  I kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her hair, her body moving back, trying to seek comfort. “You’re so cozy,” she added in a sleepy tone, and I smiled against her shoulder.

  “Cozy?” I whispered, nipping at her earlobe playfully. “I was hoping for something a little more masculine. Sexy, hot, or even godly.” Instantly I felt her body shake against mine. “Are you laughing at me?”

  “Never.” Her word oozed sarcasm. “You are the god, Rhett Jackson, not just godly.”

  “I detect a little smartass tone.” I rose up on my elbow and looked over to get a view of her face just in time to catch her roll her eyes. Before she got the chance to give me any more shit, I climbed over her and wiggled my way in between her thighs. The second she felt me hard against her, she gasped. “What was that you were saying?” I asked while shifting my hips against her, sliding over her clit before pulling back once again to repeat it all over again.

  “Sexy,” she whispered, “hot.”

  I smiled, knowing she was repeating my words from moments ago. With each stroke, I could feel her growing wetter.

  “You don’t play fair.” She tried to keep her breath even but failed. “Stop teasing.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I chuckled when she widened her eyes, and the surprised look shifted quickly to a scowl. “Don’t play games, Rhett.”

  I lifted my hips, and I knew by the look on her face she thought I was getting up. But before she had the chance to mouth off or give me even more hassle, I thrust forward and was met with nothing but acceptance. AJ was completely worked up; her legs wrapped around my waist, she hooked her ankles behind me and used them to her advantage. She was hungry, and it showed in the way her own hips lifted to meet each thrust of my own.

  AJ and I never had a problem getting so lost in one another, completely overtaken by the way each made the other feel. It was never just a physical connection with her; I swear I felt like we became one each time we were intimate. Almost like she’d managed to climb inside of me and overtake the nerves within me. It was so hard to explain the things she made me feel. I just knew I had never in my life felt so many things at once. I was also never so lost that even thinking straight was impossible.

  “Yes,” she moaned as her back arched up off the bed, and her hips continued to shift only faster as she was desperately seeking her release. The way she began to tighten around me, her mouth falling slack as her fingernails dug into my back—it was the best kind of hurt I’d ever felt. “I’m so close.” And she was. She pulsated around me, making it next to impossible for me to hold back.

  The second I felt her grip my cock, I was done. My thighs tensed, and I drove into her with one hard thrust after the other. Fuck, I felt like my head was going to explode from the pleasure I felt.

  When I thought back to the time I wasted avoiding what AJ felt, the times I would see her around, and all the places I’d gone or the games—when I would catch her watching and choose to say nothing—I could kick myself. It was time I could’ve had with her, time I couldn’t get back. This woman had managed to piece me back together, showing me what that deep, indestructible kind of love felt like.

  “I love you,” I said breathlessly into the crook of her neck.

  We remained in the same position, me poised between her thighs, still buried inside of her. Her legs hooked around my waist, my face tucked perfectly against her shoulders. The two of us taking one calming breath after another as she mindlessly combed her fingers through the hair at the back of
my neck.

  Nothing had ever been more perfect.

  “I love you too,” she finally added, her voice a hoarse whisper.

  I couldn’t even tell you how much time had passed as we lay there simply holding on to one another. I’d started to doze off, feeling more relaxed than I had in days, but with AJ, that was always so easy. She wasn’t just the woman I loved, the one carrying my child, she was my best friend too. She always managed to make everything feel better, and on most occasions, she didn’t have to say anything in order to do so. It was her just being with me, curled up at my side or sleeping in my arms, and that alone made everything feel right.

  “Not that I don’t love how we are right now,” she whispered near my ear, “it's just that my legs are numb, and I think they may actually be stuck in the position they’re in.”

  I chuckled at the thought and lifted my head from her shoulder to look at her. “It would definitely be difficult to function with you wrapped around my waist, not to mention a little embarrassing in front of the older folk in our lives.”

  She rolled her eyes and I tickled her side, feeling her body instantly tense around my dick. “You keep moving around like that, we’ll be going for round two real soon.” And what did she do? She bit her fucking lip and shifted her hips.

  “Now who’s teasing?”

  “Who says I’m teasing?” She arched her brow in a challenging manner, and that alone was all I needed.

  “You better hold on tight.” I gripped her waist and sat back just enough to turn her around. “Legs apart,” I told her, using my knee to nudge hers wider. I think I may have actually whimpered when not only did she part her legs wide, but she arched her ass up and everything came into view. And I do mean everything.

  “Fuck, you are gonna kill me.”

  She giggled into the pillow and I moved forward, sliding inside of her slow and deep. When she moaned, the muffled sound pleased me. I was the luckiest damn guy, I swear it.