Simple

by Toler, B N

  Sadness had been a heavy cloak draped over the Kepner house and with each day, the veil grew darker. I frowned as I plopped down in the chair across from her. “She can’t move her arm anymore. Cole says that means she’s close.”

  She frowned as well, her eyes narrowing in disappointment. Reaching across the table she rested her hand on mine. “You know, Em, I’ve been so proud of you going over there and sitting with her. I know it’s meant so much to her, but…”

  “But what?”

  Mama shook her head. “Are you okay? Or rather, will you be okay?”

  My gaze fixed on where her hand rested on mine. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I let the reality of it all sink in. Constance was going to die. While I turned over the thought of it all, with every second that passed, Cole’s mother was that much closer to the end. “It hurts to think about it. I didn’t expect to love her,” I admitted. “I just wanted to do something nice and make her happy. I didn’t think we’d connect like we have.”

  When a tear skated down my cheek, her own eyes welled up. “And Cole? How is he?”

  “He’s making it.”

  “You two have gotten mighty close.”

  “I’m in love with him,” I admitted. I couldn’t tell Cole. Not yet. Maybe never. But it felt good to say it out loud—to say it to someone. Her face went blank with my admission, no doubt surprised I’d confided in her.

  “You do know you can’t stay here with him, don’t you, Emalee?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Of course I do,” I said agitated, jerking my hand back. “God, Mama,” I stood prepared to leave the kitchen, but she grabbed my arm.

  “Emalee, stop.”

  “Stop what? I am aware I have plans and he has to stay. I don’t need you to be a kill-joy.” Here I was, confiding in her the way she’d always told me I could, and her first reaction to the news that I’m in love for the first time of my life was to remind me it would end.

  She closed her eyes and hung her head, as if struggling for how to fix it. “Cole is amazing, and I’m so glad that you told me. I just want to make sure you’re not going to second guess your life. Not for a man, not even one as wonderful as Cole.”

  I looked away from her, seething. “Just because your love life sucks right now, don’t spill it all over mine.” I stormed out. It was a terrible thing for me to say to her, but she’d gone and popped my dream bubble with the truth. I wasn’t ready for the pop yet. I hid in my bedroom for hours until I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to fight with her.

  When I finally went downstairs, she was on the couch in her robe, reading a book. “I’m sorry.”

  She put her book down and patted the couch. “Come here.”

  I flopped down and rested my head in her lap and she immediately began fingering my hair the way she used to when I was a little girl.

  “I know you don’t want to tell me…but what’s going on with you and Daddy?”

  She let out a long sigh. “I don’t have an answer for you right now. I’m trying to sort some things out when it comes to your father. Regardless of what is happening between us, we both love you very much.”

  “I know that.” And I did. I’d never doubted it.

  “Do you think the Kepners are really going to lose the farm?” I asked.

  She tilted her head in thought. “I heard they’re underwater. Young farmers always struggle…even without inherited debt. Hopefully the harvest will pay big for them.”

  “How much more can they bear to lose? If they lose the farm, what will be left?”

  “They’ll have each other.”

  “I need your help,” I told her. “I think Constance wants to see the guys happy, ya know. I think more than anything she wants to know they’ll be okay. But they are all so different and stubborn,” I sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Mama looked away in thought. “Well, let’s think. What brings family together?”

  “Food, like dinner?” I guessed.

  Her mouth lifted into a bright smile as she met my gaze again. “Christmas.”

  I perked up. She was right. Christmas did bring family together. Everyone loved Christmas, and it was very likely that Constance wouldn’t make it to another Christmas. I squeezed my mother’s hand. “Christmas in July. That’s brilliant. We can decorate and cook a big meal and play games.”

  “And sing carols,” she added.

  “And presents.” I perked up as all the ideas rolled through my head. “Meaningful ones.”

  She nodded in agreement. “I’d love to help you, Em. If you want me to.”

  “I don’t think I could pull it off without you.”

  Here Comes Santa Claus blasted through the house at full volume, jerking me awake and sending me stumbling out of bed and rushing to the hallway. What the…?

  I bolted for the stairs but stopped short, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. White lights wrapped around Christmas garland threaded around the banister. Was I dreaming? I slowly descended the stairs catching glimpses of the kitchen and den, both rooms draped in bright lights and rich green and red colors. As I reached the bottom step, Emalee popped out from the den doorway wearing a red velvet dress.

  “Good morning, sleepy head,” she beamed. “Merry Christmas!”

  Bailor popped his head from the kitchen, a piece of bacon in his mouth. “Dude, get dressed. It’s Christmas!” He was wearing a Santa Claus suit, the one my father had worn when we were kids. My throat tightened with emotion at the memory—Bailor looked just like Dad.

  “What the hell is going on?” My tone was harsher than I meant for it to be and Emalee dipped her head.

  “We wanted to do something special for your mom. Something to cheer everyone up.” She shrugged, then peeked up at me with a tentative smile. “Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.”

  From where I stood, I could see my mother in her bed, her eyes fixed on the Christmas tree. She’d always loved the holidays and loved the tree being up. She and my father would sit on the couch every morning with coffee before the sun came up, and just gaze at the tree.

  “Come on, Cole,” Bailor urged. “Christmas in July. It’s going to be awesome.” His gaze held mine as he waited for me to agree.

  I took the last step and crossed to Emalee, cupping her face, “You’re too good, ya know that?”

  Her features softened and she rested her head against my hand. “Go on now,” she insisted. “Breakfast will be ready in a few. Hopefully Bailor will leave some bacon for everyone else,” she joked.

  “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Emalee and Betty had really outdone themselves. After I’d gone to bed, they’d moved in like an elite SWAT team, sending Bailor to his own room for some sleep. Mom had slept through it all as the two women quietly decorated our entire house, then Betty had made a huge breakfast for us.

  They’d set up a table so we could eat in the same room as Mom, and when we were done, they’d cleaned it all up while my brothers and I watched a couple of Christmas videos from when my father was still alive.

  “Now,” Emalee clapped her hands obnoxiously as she reentered the room. “Constance, Bailor and I have a little treat for you.”

  Joe and I both looked at Bailor, who tugged on his Santa hat. Bailor and Emalee positioned themselves at the end of Mama’s bed, off to the side near the tree while Betty came in with a boombox.

  “Before we get started, I have a little joke for you folks,” Bailor said in his best imitation of Bing Crosby. “What’s a farmers favorite Christmas carol?” He looked to Emalee and she shrugged.

  “I have no idea,” she admitted.

  “I’m dreaming of a wheat Christmas,” Bailor responded as he gently elbowed her.

  I hung my head. He was so corny. But when I glanced at Mom her eyes were smiling.

  “That was cute,” Emalee said before turning back to us, the audience. “This is unrehearsed so…” Emalee motioned with her hand. “Show mercy.”

  Betty
hit play and I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas began to play. Emalee grinned as she looked at Bailor as he straightened his Santa suit. The suit was worn, the material incredibly thin, and Bailor hadn’t bothered to shove anything under his shirt to make him look like he had a belly.

  The two began singing, taking turns, and harmonizing for each other. At one point, Emalee encouraged us to all join in and though Joe and I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, we sang along. When we were done, I glanced over at my mom as tears streamed down her face. I quickly grabbed a tissue and dabbed her cheeks, removing her oxygen mask to hear her whisper, “Thank you.”

  “Would you like to do presents now, Constance?” Betty asked.

  The whole day had thrown me off. I appreciated everything Emalee and her mother had done, but presents, too? “Constance wanted to give each of you a couple of gifts,” Betty explained as she passed out the perfectly wrapped boxes that were under the tree.

  I was overwhelmed with it all. The effort, the gesture—it was a kindness I hadn’t experienced in a long time. “You didn’t have to do this,” I told Betty.

  “We didn’t. The gifts are from your mother. We just wrapped them.”

  Each of us got a small album of photos that were picked by my mother as her favorites, and a box of baby shirts; the latter leaving each of us a little confused.

  “These were your baby shirts,” Emalee explained. “She kept them because she wanted to make a quilt for each of you.” She fought her frown with a forced smile. “She said for a quilt or for your children to wear one day.”

  “Man, I wish this still fit me,” Bailor laughed as he draped the tiny Hulk t-shirt against his chest.

  “You used to wear that thing everywhere,” Joe chuckled. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually chuckled. My mother, even paralyzed and unmoving, was still full of joy, and every time I caught her gaze, she’d blink three times. I love you.

  As I rummaged through my own box of shirts, I glanced at Emalee. When our gazes met, I mouthed thank you. All of a sudden, Bailor popped out of his seat and grabbed Betty from where she stood in the doorway under the mistletoe and pretended to kiss her. Emalee laughed, her gaze returning to mine, and that was it. Right then—with the Christmas lights reflecting in her eyes, the perfect hue of pink across her cheeks—that was the moment Emalee Jennings took my heart. Or maybe I gave it to her.

  It was Christmas after all.

  I’d just gotten back from visiting Constance a few days after we’d given the Kepners Christmas in July, when my mother annouonced she would be leaving town for a few days.

  “You’re just going to leave me here?” I asked, perplexed. I wasn’t worried about being alone, but I was completely shocked she was willing to let me stay by myself.

  She sighed, an indication that she had struggled with the decision. “Normally, I wouldn’t but it’s important.”

  “Is Daddy okay?” I asked, my mind racing to the worst-case scenario.

  She cupped my cheek. “Yes, he’s fine.” She turned and picked up her suitcase and opened the screen door. Looking at me over her shoulder she said, “Come on. You gotta drive me to the airport.”

  My brows perked up. “Uh, okay!”

  Bailor and I grinned as we realized the driver of the gray sedan barreling down our driveway, laying on the horn, was Emalee.

  “Aiyeee,” she called out the open window as she sped by us and managed to pull a few donuts, much to my surprise.

  “Looks like someone’s mom finally let her drive the car,” Bailor stated the obvious.

  My body shook as I chuckled. “Apparently, it doesn’t take much to get Emalee excited.”

  “Obviously. She likes you, doesn’t she?” he teased.

  I cut Bailor a screw you look as he laughed, clearly amused by his own joke.

  When Emalee finally pulled up to us and put the car in park, her hair was in disarray, wild and knotted like she’d been driving 80mph with the windows down getting wind whipped to death. I opened her door and she flew into my arms.

  “Hey there, Mario Andretti. Nice wheels.”

  She pressed her mouth to mine, silencing me, before pulling back and grinning. “Mama is out of town, and I get to drive the car.”

  “Really?”

  She looked down as she traced her finger over my shoulder. “Well, she said I could drive it when absolutely necessary.”

  “So speeding down our driveway like a bat out of hell and doing donuts was necessary?”

  She bit her lip as she peeked up at me. “Just testing out the suspension.”

  My face hurt I was smiling so big. “Do you have any idea what the suspension is?”

  She pursed her lips. “No, but it sounds like a good car thing to say.” She smacked my shoulder gently. “Go get dressed, Cole,” she ordered, changing the subject. “I’m taking you out tonight.”

  I quirked a brow. “And where are you taking me? Is it somewhere completely necessary?”

  “Oh yes.” She moved her eyes side to side before waggling her brows. “We’re going necking.”

  “Necking?” Bailor questioned.

  “Yeah, like smooching, but on the neck.”

  This time I grinned. She was the goofiest, sexiest girl I’d ever met. “Oh yeah? Where’s this necking going to take place?”

  “Mama’s out of town, remember? I have the whole house to myself for the next few days.”

  My body tensed as my mind gravitated toward all the things we could do in a house all by ourselves. Bailor was standing a few feet away from us and began doing his usual wax-on-wax-off on an invisible ass, adding in a few hip thrusts just in case it hadn’t been clear what he was insinuating. Luckily, Emalee didn’t see any of his antics.

  “Why don’t you head back to the house, and I’ll meet you there in a bit?” I was going to need a cold shower. A really long, arctic-cold shower.

  She pouted out her lower lip before shrugging. “Okay. But don’t take too long,” she warned before pushing up on her toes and kissing me again. When she climbed back in the car and started it, she revved the engine as she looked at me mischievously.

  “I’m shocked your mother doesn’t want you driving,” I said sardonically.

  She responded by revving the engine again.

  “You do know this is a sedan, yeah?”

  Pulling her door closed she put it in drive and gave me a wink. “I’m dropping the hammer,” she laughed as she hit the gas and sped off, a trail of dust billowing behind her.

  “Did she just quote Days of Thunder?” Bailor asked.

  I was still smiling and watching her car disappear down the driveway. “She did.”

  He gave me a smack on the back. “She’s a keeper.” I nodded in agreement as he walked away. She definitely was a keeper. Too bad keeping her wasn’t an option.

  I released a slow breath. “You have nothing to be nervous about, Emalee,” I said aloud as Cole’s truck came up our driveway. I’d changed my outfit six times and ended up wearing the first outfit I’d tried on. I didn’t want to feel anxious, but I did.

  I was going to be alone with Cole.

  Completely alone.

  Just us.

  We’d been alone, but not like this. Not all night. The farthest we’d gone were a few heavy make out sessions in the truck or behind the barn, a few times in his room, but it always stopped there. Cole never pushed for more. The weeks since I’d broken down his walls and made him accept the fact he wanted me had been some of the best days of my life. Cole was a true gentleman. He always opened doors for me; listened to my songs and made suggestions; held my hand when we rode down the road in his truck. People miss it sometimes—how tremendously beautiful the small things can be. He didn’t think about things to do for me, he just did things naturally. Like loving me was second nature.

  Though we were currently at odds, I’d been fortunate to have a father that had doted on me; that not only hadn’t dismissed my dream of being a singer, but actually encourag
ed me. Perhaps I wasn’t boy crazy like many girls my age simply because my father taught me to chase my dreams instead of men. I’d dated a few guys back home, but my busy schedule meant I never had time to really pursue anything. I was grateful it had all turned out this way. That I was standing as I was right then and there.

  I met Cole at the screen door and smiled. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a black button-down dress shirt that showcased his broad shoulders and chest. When our eyes met through the screen, he stopped, his face twisting a little.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He looked away before meeting my gaze again. “You’re really beautiful, Em.”

  It was a lovely compliment, but his expression didn’t match. “Why do you look like you’re in pain when you say it?”

  He stepped toward the door and looked down at me. “Because I love you. And it hurts a little.” He shrugged and rubbed at his chest. “In a good way, I guess, it hurts.”

  My chest was numb, I think I might’ve forgotten to breathe for a moment. Staring into his eyes I told him, “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” He stepped back as I pushed the door open and I met him on the porch. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him. Pulling away I whispered, “I love you, too.”

  Emalee filled our plates with the fried chicken and pasta salad her mother had made before she left then we sat down across the table from each other to eat.

  We ate in comfortable silence for a bit before I asked, “So where’s your mom?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” she said, letting out a sad laugh as she absently pushed the remnants of her pasta around her plate.

  “She didn’t tell you where she was going?”

  “I think my parents are going to get a divorce,” she said suddenly, as if she’d been holding it in and simply couldn’t any longer.

  I sat my fork down. “Why do you think that?”

  Pushing some hair behind her ear, she leaned back in her seat. “They’ve been fighting a lot, but the night they found us in the truck, they had the worst fight I’d seen, and just like that Mama told him he needed to leave for the rest of the summer.”