At No Man's Command

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  Aiesha had always been the outsider at school. The one everyone pointed at, whispered about, gossiped about. She had learned early on to mask her feelings, to armour up so no one knew how much those snarky comments hurt. But it had hurt to be the only one not invited to another child’s birthday party. It had hurt to be the last one picked for a team. It had hurt to walk out of the school gate and see all the other mothers or fathers gathered to collect their children while there was no one waiting for her.

  Her high-school parent–teacher interviews were the worst. Her mother would make an effort to sober up and drag herself there but Aiesha wished she hadn’t bothered. The pitying looks that came her way from the teachers afterwards only intensified her feelings of being an outcast.

  But then one day a couple of weeks before her fifteenth birthday she found Archie.

  It was still the best day of her life. She had found him near the tube station close to where she and her mother and the Beast Man lived. They weren’t supposed to have pets in the flat but Aiesha smuggled him in and out under her coat. He was terrier-small but of mixed breeding with a face only a mother could love. She didn’t know how old Archie was or where he had come from, but from the moment he’d come over to her and looked up at her plaintively with those big brown eyes and wagged his tail she was smitten.

  Archie would trot along to school with her each day and wait patiently in the alley behind the dry-cleaner’s shop until she returned each afternoon. It was the highlight of her day to see him waiting for her there. His head would come up off his paws and his eyes would brighten and that stumpy little tail would wag so hard Aiesha was sure one day it would fall off. She would give him the scraps she’d saved from her school dinner and then they would walk to the park, where she would pretend she was like all the other dog-owners. Going home to a nice house with a garden, warm and cosy in winter, cool and smelling of flowers in summer. To food, not just on the table but also in the pantry and in the fridge. To a mother who wasn’t stoned or drunk or beaten within an inch of her life. To a father—or stepfather—who wasn’t sending her leering looks through piggy eyes and smacking his thick wet lips at her.

  Why had she told James—of all people—about her horrible background? How was she supposed to keep her emotions out of their relationship if he kept getting her to divulge stuff she had never spoken of to anyone before? Was it his steadiness? His centred calm that she envied so much? His self-control? His concern? His compassion?

  Aiesha was used to being judged and vilified. Mocked and berated and excluded. She wasn’t used to being listened to. She wasn’t used to being understood. She wasn’t used to showing a side of herself that had been hidden away since childhood. How would she reassemble her armour if pieces of it were missing? The breastplate over her heart was no longer a thick layer of metal. It felt like a flimsy sheet of baking paper.

  James would only have to hold her too close to the warm, firm safe shelter of his body and it would be totally destroyed....

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘SO YOU’VE FINALLY decided to answer your phone,’ James said to his mother later that night. ‘What the hell do you think you’re up to?’

  ‘I could ask you the very same question, darling,’ Louise countered. ‘You’re not really engaged to Aiesha, are you?’

  ‘Of course not, but for God’s sake don’t tell Dad that. I let him think it was genuine...along with the rest of the world.’

  ‘Your little secret is safe with me.’

  James frowned at his mother’s amused tone. ‘You must’ve realised something like this would happen.’

  ‘I had no idea you were planning to visit me,’ his mother said. ‘Last time we spoke, you said you were behind on the terribly important project you were working on and couldn’t possibly spare the time to drive all that way just to—’

  ‘So I’m a little task oriented at times,’ he said, cutting off his mother’s you-work-too-hard lecture. ‘You’d be worried if I was lazing on some Caribbean beach with a bikini model half my age like someone else we know. Why didn’t you tell me Aiesha was here?’

  ‘You know why.’

  He let the recriminating silence pass. Yes, he could be stubborn. Yes, he could be unforgiving when someone crossed him. But that didn’t mean his mother should have kept her relationship with Aiesha a secret for all this time. She should have told him so he could have handled things a little better. He’d blundered in like a clumsy clown in a china shop. He didn’t like the feeling. He was used to being in control. He was used to taking strategic measures to sort out difficult problems, not make them a hundred times worse.

  ‘You don’t know her, James,’ his mother said. ‘You don’t know her the way I do. You’ve done what everyone else does when they meet her. They take her on face value and don’t see the sweetheart of a girl hiding behind that don’t-mess-with-me facade.’

  James had seen the sweetheart girl; trouble was, he didn’t know what to do with her. Well, he knew what he wanted to do with her. It was a constant ache to get on and do it. An overwhelming temptation he was finding very hard to resist. Wasn’t sure he could resist. ‘You still should’ve given me the heads-up on her being here. You know how much I hate surprises.’

  ‘I hope you haven’t been unkind to her.’

  He gave an ironic bark of laughter. ‘Unkind? I’m the one currently sporting a black eye.’

  ‘Oh, my goodness! What happened?’

  ‘You know that saying, “let sleeping dogs lie”? I should’ve taken note.’

  Louise sighed. ‘I’m sure she didn’t mean it.’

  James swung his chair so he could look at the moon rising over the tops of the forest trees. Australia suddenly seemed a very long way away. Another world away. A world without five feet eight of temptation torturing his every waking moment. ‘When are you coming back?’

  ‘Erm...darling, there’s something I want to tell you but I don’t want you to be upset.’

  He swung his chair back round, his right hand gripping the armrest. ‘You’re not thinking of emigrating, are you?’

  ‘No, darling, nothing like that.’ He heard her take a quick breath before she added, ‘I’m seeing someone.’

  ‘Seeing someone as in seeing someone?’ James said.

  His mother gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘You sound just like your grandfather when I was a teenager going out on my first date. Please don’t be cross. I’m happy for the first time in years.’

  ‘Who is it?’

  ‘Julie’s brother, Richard,’ she said. ‘I’ve known him for decades. Actually, I knew him before I met your father. He was involved with someone else back then, and then your father came along and...well, you know how that turned out. Anyway, Richard flew out from Manchester to be with Julie after her accident and...well...we’ve fallen in love.’

  His mother? In love? ‘How well do you know this guy?’ he asked. ‘You haven’t seen him for years. What if he’s turned into some wacko weirdo on the make who just wants you for your money? Come on, Mum, think about this for a bit. You can’t just rush into a relationship without giving it some careful thought.’

  ‘Like you gave it so much careful thought before you decided Phoebe was the one you wanted to marry?’

  James frowned. ‘I didn’t tell you I was going to marry Phoebe.’

  ‘You didn’t need to,’ Louise said. ‘I figured it out for myself. She’s totally wrong for you. I’m surprised you can’t see it for yourself.’

  He rolled his chair back and stood. ‘I’m starting to smell a very big meddlesome rat.’

  ‘I had nothing to do with what’s happened,’ she said. ‘But maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. Don’t ruin your life by marrying someone you don’t love when I know the way you’re capable of loving someone. Don’t love with part of yourself, James. Love with
all of yourself.’

  James paced the floor, his fingers clamped on his phone so tightly the tendons in his wrist protested. ‘Look, this engagement with Aiesha isn’t the real deal. I hope you understand that? It’ll be over as soon as I get this project with Howard Sherwood finalised.’

  ‘Of course it will.’

  ‘I’m not in love with her.’

  ‘Of course not, darling.’

  James frowned again at his mother’s disingenuous tone. ‘Don’t get any funny ideas.’

  ‘Darling, you’re so cynical. I didn’t orchestrate poor Julie to run her car off the road. And I certainly didn’t have anything to do with the weather. Aiesha needed a place to stay and I welcomed her. The fact that I didn’t mention it to you is neither here nor there. I don’t tell you every time I invite someone to stay with me. But would you like me to do so in future?’

  ‘Now you’re being ridiculous.’

  Louise gave a confessional-sounding sigh. ‘Look, I must admit I’ve always secretly hoped you would one day have some face-to-face time with her, even if it was only for a few minutes. You haven’t seen her for a decade. It’s surely time to move on? The fact that you got stranded together is a good thing. It’s like it was meant to be.’

  ‘Have you been drinking?’

  ‘Darling, you can be so terribly stubborn at times. You made up your mind about Aiesha years ago when she was a troubled teenager. That’s not who she is now. I suspect that’s not who she ever was. Please be nice to her.’

  James wondered what his mother would say if she knew just how nice he was being to Aiesha. Nice enough to hold her. To kiss her. To want to make love to her so badly his whole body throbbed with it. ‘I’m taking her to Paris with me. Is that nice enough for you?’

  ‘Lovely,’ Louise said. ‘I knew you’d sort out your differences eventually. Now, will you be nice to Richard when I introduce you to him?’

  ‘When do I get the chance to give him the once-over?’ James asked.

  ‘We’ll have to have a double date or something when we get home,’ Louise said. ‘Won’t that be fun?’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘An absolute riot.’

  * * *

  Aiesha was flicking through the channels on the television in the sitting room when James came striding in with a brooding frown on his face. ‘My mother has hooked up with some guy and fancies herself in love with him. Can you believe that? She knew him years ago but she’s only seen him for a few days since and now she thinks she’s in love. Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable.’

  ‘Aw...how sweet.’

  He glared at her. ‘This is my mother we’re talking about, not some young girl with stars in her eyes. She’s fifty-nine years old, for God’s sake. She should have more sense.’

  Aiesha put the remote control on the ottoman before she got up from the sofa. ‘Just because she’s middle-aged doesn’t mean she’s dead from the waist down.’

  His brows were jammed together over his eyes. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  She eased her hair out of the back of her sweater, shaking it free over her shoulders as she held his narrowed gaze. ‘Sex.’

  He sent a hand through his already tousled hair, suggesting it wasn’t the first time he’d done so this evening. ‘I don’t even want to think about my mother and sex in the same sentence.’

  ‘You’re being terribly old-fashioned, James,’ Aiesha said. ‘Your father’s getting it on with any female under twenty-five with a pulse, and yet you won’t allow your mother to be in a mature and respectable relationship? That’s hardly fair.’

  His forehead was still furrowed. ‘I don’t want to see her get hurt.’

  ‘She’s in love. Of course she’ll get hurt.’

  His gaze met hers. Held it steady. ‘Have you ever been in love?’

  Aiesha laughed. ‘Are you joking? I’m not the falling-in-love type. I use men and spit them out once I’m done with them. Surely you know that much about me.’

  ‘I know you don’t like people getting close to you.’ He was suddenly close enough for her to smell his cologne. Close enough to see the flare of his pupils. Close enough to feel the desire wafting off him like a hot summer breeze. It warmed her from head to foot. Burned her. Scorched her. ‘I know you like to show everyone how tough you are, when on the inside you’re anything but.’

  Aiesha goaded him with her gaze. ‘You want to get close to me, James? Then get your gear off and let’s do it.’

  He took her by the top of her shoulders and slowly but surely brought her flush against his body. ‘I think my mother has some weird notion that we’ll fall in love with each other.’

  ‘She’s dreaming.’

  He brought his mouth down to the corner of hers, his lips barely touching her top lip. ‘That’s what I told her.’

  Aiesha’s insides shivered as his warm breath skated over her lips. ‘It would never work. You’re too traditional. Too straitlaced and proper.’

  ‘And you’re too wild and unpredictable.’ He moved his mouth to her lower lip, pushing against it in soft little nudges that made her legs threaten to give way. ‘Too uncontrollable.’

  She pushed her lips against his, teasing him the way he was teasing her. Tempting her. Torturing her. Why don’t you kiss me, damn it? ‘Control is your middle name, isn’t it? James Control Challender. Got quite a ring to it, hasn’t it?’

  He smiled against the side of her mouth. ‘I think you secretly like that about me.’

  She put her hands against his neck, leaning into his erection. ‘What? You think I like you?’

  He brushed his lips against hers, not a kiss, not a caress, but something in between. ‘You don’t want to like me. You don’t want to like anyone. My mother is the exception... Oh, and Bonnie, of course.’

  Aiesha jerked her chin back against her chest. ‘That overweight and incontinent hair machine?’

  He cupped her left cheek with the broad span of his hand, his sapphire-blue eyes holding hers. ‘There was a chewy treat on her bed when I brought her in from her last walk. I didn’t put it there, so that only leaves you.’

  She hadn’t realised he would find it before Bonnie. She had tucked it in under the cushioned bed so Bonnie could sniff it out later. ‘Your mother gave me instructions on how to take care of her dog. I’m only doing what I was told to do.’

  He put his hands on her hips, bringing her close again. ‘I told myself I wouldn’t do this. I promised myself I wouldn’t complicate things by getting involved with you.’

  ‘It’s just sex, James. People do it all the time. It doesn’t have to mean anything.’

  His eyes searched hers for a beat or two. ‘I want you, but that must surely be obvious by now.’

  Aiesha brought his head down so his mouth was within a breath of hers. ‘Then for God’s sake do something about it.’

  He covered her mouth with his in a long and passionate kiss that fanned the flames already burning inside her. His lips were firm and gentle in turn, a tantalising mix of dominance and reverence that made her wonder why she had thought him so uptight and starchy. His tongue tangled with hers, taming it into submission, only to let her have free rein to do the same to him. Desire raced through her, heating her core, turning it to liquid as he took back control of the kiss. His tongue stabbed and thrust, rolled and dived, flicked and darted and then caressed and soothed. His hands moved from her hips to skim over her breasts, the touch so light and yet it made her flesh shiver and sing.

  He made a deep, growly sound as he slid a hand under her sweater and found her lace-covered breast. He cupped her through the cobwebby fabric, rolling his thumb over her tight nipple, swallowing her gasp as he deepened his kiss.

  Aiesha felt his hands move behind her back and unclip her bra. It fell to the floor as she raised her arms to hau
l off her sweater. His eyes drank in the sight of her, his hands moving over her in a caress that was possessive and yet worshipful.

  ‘You’re beautiful...so damn beautiful.’ He bent his head and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking on her with such exquisite tenderness she felt every nerve in her body tremble in response. His tongue circled her nipple and then he moved to the underside of her breast, dragging his tongue along her flesh, making her mindless and breathless with want.

  She felt beautiful when he touched her like that. Beautiful and desirable and feminine and...respected. There was nothing sleazy about his touch. He made her feel as if she was the only woman he ever wanted to make love with. The only one he wanted to share the intimate connection of body and soul.

  He went to her other breast, exploring it in the same intimate detail, driving her senses into a wild frenzy as he subjected her to caress after caress, stroke after stroke, kiss after kiss. He moved back up to her neck, his lips playing with the sensitive skin there, lingering over her ear lobes and the delicate spot below.

  He came back to her mouth, kissing her deeply and passionately while her lower body burned and ached for him with a need so strong it surpassed anything she had experienced before. She wasn’t used to being swept away on a tumultuous tide of desire. She was used to being the one in control, mentally and physically always a step or two ahead. But his kiss and his touch had a magical effect on her senses, sending them spinning and twirling in rapturous delight.

  She undid his belt and unzipped him, taking him in her hands to stroke and titillate. To explore him, to make him feel the uncontrollable desire she was feeling. He made deliciously male noises of heavy arousal, his erection thick and hard in her hand.

  His hands went to the waistband of her yoga pants, ruthlessly tugging them down so they fell to her ankles. She stepped out of them and her knickers as he shucked off his own trousers and underwear and shrugged off his shirt.

  Aiesha fed off the sight of him with a hunger she had never felt with such intensity. He was lean and yet muscled in all the right places. His abdomen was washboard-flat, the pipelike ridges showcased beneath the tanned olive-toned skin. His chest was lightly covered in hair that spread from his pectoral muscles, down past his navel and to his groin, where his erection rose proudly.