Truth About Tequila: Believe in Me (Surviving Absolution #4)

by Nikki Belaire

  He steps back and grabs his washcloth and soap, quickly scrubbing away the dirt from his skin if not the disgust. That revulsion will probably never leave him.

  “You were going to let him kill you?”

  His gut clenches at the astonishment in her tone.

  “For me?”

  Fuck yes he was. Tossing the terry cloth onto their discard clothes, he squats in front of her. Unwrapping her fingers curled around the teak seat edge, he cradles her slippery hands in his. Her gaze searches across his features, seeking proof of the truth he readily confirms.

  “This...” His finger flicks between them. “...is unbreakable. I’d do anything for you. Just like I know you would do for me.”

  A slow nod that grows more urgent as she bites her trembling lip, her shimmery gaze meeting his. His thumbs gingerly swipe the wetness from her swollen cheeks before he falls to his knees. Caressing down her shoulders and engulfing her as she allows the grief to consume her. Sobs raining down harder than the waterfall showerhead. Her petite body dissolving against his.

  His frayed muscles soften along with hers from the acceptance he’s so desperately longed for. After all they’ve suffered, she finally succumbs to his comfort. Allowing him to be her rock when her own strength crumbles. He holds her with a fierce protectiveness. Conveying his absolute certainty. Until the tears stopping falling and complete exhaustion overcomes both of them.

  He slowly untangles their bodies, ensuring she’s stable enough to sit on her own, and kisses the top of her head. After sudsing up her pouf, he gently massages the mesh ball over her body. Enjoying the scent of her rich, flowery body wash filling the sultry air. Welcoming her hands circling his waist as his fingertips scrape over her scalp and rub the thick strands.

  Her small hand entwines with his when he wraps her in an oversized towel, enveloping both of them in the warmed fabric. Fucking heaven. They may still have so much hell to endure. So much bullshit to fight through. Forgiveness to beg for once she finds out what he did to her family. But right here, in this moment, nothing else matters.

  Gina can’t keep her eyes from drifting shut. Being awake is hell. Her entire body hurts almost as much as when she got shot. Pain ripping through her no matter what position she struggles to lay in. But the dreams are even worse. The horror she wants to ignore plays on repeat until she wakes up screaming. Caged in Max’s strong arms grasping her so tight she can’t tell who’s shaking more.

  Sane enough to know she’s fucked up. They both are. But he still takes care of her. Always here. With his endless patience. His voice low but steady. Sometimes talking to his sister or Mom. Even Gabby came in once, her childlike whisper anything but quiet. He gave his niece a huge hug and then instigated a game of chase. The sweet child never realizing the mess she was running away from.

  Other times he barks orders into his phone. Drafting a cover ‒ gang fight spilling into their party. Their friends and family the innocent victims of someone else’s war. Rewarding the officials on their payroll for perpetuating the story to the media. Taking care of the bodies. Guards. Katrina. Enrique.

  Dad.

  Goosebumps rise on her freezing skin. Cold despite the cocoon Max created for her. Tucking her in like a child while he works. Like her father used to. Before she killed him.

  Dead because of her. Because he would have ended her life too if he murdered Max. And the deaths would never have stopped. Richard. Sarah. Nick. Shae. Maybe even the baby. He thought he was right and nothing she did or said would have made him change his mind. Or protect the people she loves. So she saved him. All of them.

  Doesn't that make her the hero? Shouldn't she be proud?

  Instead, she's ashamed and broken. No one seems to care her daddy's dead. Everyone's moving on, living their lives. Bright light spilling across the carpet when the door opens, cartoon laughter bouncing across the living room, freshly brewed coffee filling the air. They aren’t sad. Instead they’re relieved. Grateful that Enrique’s been stopped. Thankful a massacre has been avoided. She should be too. Except they aren't the ones who killed him.

  She is a killer.

  Her body dips down from him sliding in behind her. His huge fingers interlace with hers, holding their coupled hands against her chest. This is her favorite. When he curls around her, his protective warmth easing some of the hollowness invading her body. Letting her pretend for a few moments they're just cuddling. Floating in their own cloud of everything and nothing. Perfect that she doesn't have to see his face. So much better than when he sits in the chair next to the bed. Watching her. Driving his hand through his hair. Worry lining his forehead and dimming the light in his eyes.

  Unable to tell how many hours have passed. He keeps the room dark, shielding her from reality. Probably scared of the crazy brewing underneath.

  Tears prick her eyes at his lips on her neck. Still so gentle. Tenderness she doesn't deserve.

  "I called your mom. Your sister-in-law acted as the translator. I had to tell her—."

  She shakes her head, his stubble prickling her cheek. Their skin scraping against each other with her ferocity. Just hold her. Don't let this be real. Don't say the words that will make her mother hate her.

  "Shhhh. It's okay." His grip tightens, forcing her shaking body closer to his. "I told her about the party, about the ambush. That you're okay but she thinks..." A long breath blows against her shoulder. "She thinks that's how we lost him."

  She's turned him into a liar. Her mom into a widow. Her brothers into orphans.

  “Nick and I agreed it’s better this way. That she doesn’t‒”

  Panic colder than ice water races through her veins again. Please don’t let there be any other victims. "You talked to Nick? What about Shae? Are she and the baby all right?"

  "Yeah. They’re fine." A smile shines in his voice. "The baby’s tiny, and they're keeping her in the NICU for a few days as a precaution. But everything seems okay."

  Thank you God. Her pulse slows from the only good news in this hell. "What did they name her?"

  A small chuckle rustles the hair over her ear. "Evie Maximilian. After us. Shae said if it wasn't for me and you, she wouldn't be here."

  Pain crawls through her chest and burrows into her throat. Stealing her oxygen. A heat wave overtakes her icy body. It's so fucking hot in here. So hard to breathe.

  "That's why I did it." She sounds like a lunatic, but he has to know. He has to understand. She flips over, ignoring the agony piercing her torso, grasping at his chest to keep him from escaping. Trembling fingers fist his tee shirt. He can't leave before knowing the truth. Can’t walk away until he realizes why she is more evil than he ever knew. "He would have gone after her. And Nick. And Shae. It wouldn't have ended with you. Everyone would have died if I didn’t shoot him. I had no choice. I had to kill my father."

  6

  Chapter SIX

  His heart pounds at the panic darkening her face. The hysteria in her shrieking voice. Struggling too damn hard to convince him of something he already knows. That he was too scared to confess to her yet. But it’s obviously too late for that. She’s smart enough to realize her father’s attack was only the beginning of a coup. More blood would have been shed with his thirst for power.

  He’s seen how the brutality has ravished Shae. Driving her to a panic attack and the need for counseling to cope with the chaos of their world. As strong as Gina is, killing her own father may be enough to push her over the edge too. He refuses to let that happen. To allow her to blame herself for that fucking bastard’s death. When he himself has so much to be guilty for.

  Long fingers cup her battered cheeks, forcing her face only a centimeter from his. "I know. You were trying to protect me. All of us are safe— because of you."

  “But I‒”

  “No one blames you.” He slides her head side-to-side. Hopeful the physical movement will drive her mental acceptance too. “Not me. Not Nick. We both know you did what had to be done.”

  Just l
ike he did. If only she’ll be able to understand his actions too.

  Her fingers wrap around his thumbs, squeezing them with her anxiety. “What about your mom and sister? They must hate me.”

  This is one worry he loves alleviating for her. “They don’t know. I told them the same thing as your mother. All of us, including Andy’s guys, will never tell. Even Richard agreed. He loves you too much to see you hurt anymore.”

  Which as much he hates it, he can’t blame her ex. They both love her; he’s just the lucky bastard to end up with her. For now. Once she realizes what he’s done, they may be over too.

  “They know you’re devastated from losing your Dad. They just want to help you.”

  “Okay.” Her body softens with relief and her arm slides around his waist. “Okay.”

  He kisses her forehead. Giving her a bit of reprieve before he breaks her heart again. Allowing her worry to recede for all too brief a moment.

  “There’s something else I need to tell you. I…” The trust in her steady gaze slays him to his core. Unwavering and absolute faith in him. Which he doesn’t deserve. “Two of your brothers were involved in the attack at the studio. They killed Holly and were going to kidnap Shae. I had to protect her and the baby.”

  A blank expression stares back at him. Chilling him to his soul. That he may have finally destroyed what is already so tenuous between them.

  “They’re dead?”

  His gut clenches from her broken whisper. She knows what he’s capable of to save their friend. Her eyes drift closed. Shutting out his words. His fuck up. Maybe even him.

  “Yes.” The guys confirmed their relation to her when all of the bodies were taken care of. “Alejandro and Ignacio were helping your father. Once you were with your Dad, they went after Nick.”

  He could lie and say he wouldn’t have killed them. That maybe he could have found another way to stop them. But, it’s not the truth. They were intent on their mission to overthrow his boss regardless of who else got in the way.

  “What about Samuel? At the warehouse?”

  Her whisper slams him like a hit to the ribs. Motherfucker. He forces himself not to tighten his grip on her hunched shoulders. To quell the growing rage in him. She may hate him for it but he’ll never regret punishing that bastard for putting his hands on her. He’s got fucking absolute zero tolerance for a man who hits a woman. “He deserved to die for what he did to you.”

  No crying. Or yelling. Or cursing. Just her heavy breathing blowing against his skin. While he holds his. So fucking fearful a torrent of rage will pound down on him. That he’s pushed her too far and won’t be able to bring her back to him.

  Instead, her tattered body inches closer. Eliminating more than just the physical distance between them. He fucking decimates half her family, and she still seeks his comfort. Which he’s going to give her no matter how long it takes or what anyone else wants. He strokes the back of her head and wraps her in his arms holding her as tight as he can without hurting her any more than she already is. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” The soft wisp of bangs brushes his chest. “I’m sorry my family’s so fucked up.”

  “Not your fault.” He lets the darkness envelope him that he’s been fighting for so long. Everyone he loves is safe and his whole world cuddles against him. Everything else can go to hell. “None of this is your fault.”

  7

  Chapter SEVEN

  Max steps off the elevator. The faint antiseptic smell permeating the rest of the building fades away on this floor. Instead, a hint of lavender wafts through the lullaby filled air. He smiles at the paper mache elephants blowing bubbles around the nurse’s station, trying to push down the ache from another unexpected reminder of Gina.

  Or more likely it’s guilt that throbs in his chest. This is for her. No other reason he would walk away. Except for the woman who needs all of him, his strength and his focus, whether she admits it or not.

  He kidded himself before that he could take care of Shae when he was distracted by his fucked up relationship with Gina. That ended with Shae attacked by Evan at her yoga class and him almost destroyed for failing both women. He refuses to make that same mistake again.

  Pastel letters swirl on the yellow walls, interspersed with silver butterflies fluttering overhead. Play. Laugh. Dream. A gentle sentiment to welcome the newest members to this harsh world. And confirmation it was best to leave Gina in his mom and sister’s care, while he talked to Nick. Regardless of how much she insisted that she was fine and wanted to see Shae and the baby. She doesn’t need any more painful reminders of the hell she’s endured the past few years.

  Andy stands a foot from the nursery door, his gaze flicking to Max for a split second before returning to Nick. The bodyguard’s posture relaxes at the familiar face, his hand falling back to his side instead of sliding around the gun in the holster tucked discretely under his loose black jacket.

  Another reason to add to a long list of why he appreciates the mercenary. Andy protects Shae but keeps alert for threats to their boss as well. Probably even better than the other guards covering the waiting area perimeter. Only Leo and Dominic give him half-hearted glances. Sure they knew he was on his way up. But they’re getting too complacent. Failing to plan for the unexpected.

  Proof once again that the team he’s built really is slipping. Shaken by Oscar’s betrayal. Rattled by Nick’s distraction with Shae’s health. Lost without Max’s oversight. Confirmation he needs to put Andy in charge. Let him and his men provide the unwavering stability Nick can trust to protect his family while Max pieces his back together.

  But he’ll save that discussion until Evie is released. Neither Shae nor Nick need any added stress. Especially with Nick’s pissed off tone radiating through the demands he barks into his phone. “That’s the second fucking time his delivery has come up fucking short. I’m done with his shit. Fucking take care of it. Now!”

  Nick nods to him as he slides the cell into his pocket. The irritation lining his boss’s face morphs into worry as his pinched brow deepens. “How is she?”

  Too fucked up to see past the guilt for the hero she continues to be for all of them. “Bad. I have to take her to see Renata.”

  “Use the jet. Whatever else you need, it’s yours.”

  “Thanks.” He blows out a deep breath. Trying to straddle the blurry expanse between evasiveness and lying. “We’re leaving tomorrow night. I’m not sure when we’ll be back, but I’m going to ask Andy to bring in more of his guys while I’m gone.”

  A flicker of hesitation flashes in Nick’s eyes before the concerned expression returns. Attempting to mask his uncertainty. Damn. His boss is as disappointed as he is that he can’t be the anchor mooring his peace of mind anymore. But he’ll never admit it. Nick loves Shae too much to question another man’s commitment to his own woman.

  “We’ll need to find someone exclusive for Shae if Andy’s going to take over.”

  Fuck. This is the conversation he didn’t want to have. Should have known better than to think that Nick wouldn’t be able to read him. That he’d be able to hide his guilt from his best friend. “It’s not permanent.” He refuses to make promises he can’t keep. “I just need more time with Gina. I have to step back so I can focus on her.”

  “I know.” A slight smile brightens Nick’s face as he motions toward the window where the center of his world sleeps behind the glass. “Everything changes when—”

  “Hold the fuck up.”

  The hardness in Andy’s command flames worry in his chest, and he twists toward the bodyguard. Fingers already curling around the gun in his back waistband at the potential threat. Fucking unbelievable.

  Motherfucking Evan.

  Fucking bastard fights against Andy’s restraint, the mercenary’s solid grip twisting his arm. Evan nods toward the startled physician next to him. “Get off me. I have a patient to examine.”

  “Not with Mrs. DeMarco inside.”

  “I’ll call secu
rity if you don’t--”

  The leery woman beside Shae’s former fiancé strides toward the entrance to the NICU, her stethoscope swinging from the quick movement. “What’s going on, Dr. Matthews?”

  “Nothing. These thugs think they can intimidate—”

  Scarlet races up Nick’s face, his jaw clenching so hard his cheek twitches. “This asshole bruised my pregnant wife before trying to trick her into thinking her baby was dead. That’s what’s going on, and I’ll fucking kill him before I let him anywhere near her.”

  “You won’t do a damn thing with all these witnesses.”

  “Motherfucker, you have no idea what I’m capable of when it comes to Shae.”

  Evan’s hand involuntarily jerks to his face, stroking over his misaligned bones. Courtesy of his boss's fist. Yeah, Evan knows exactly what the fuck Nick can do to him.

  The other doctor gasps at the accusations, her gaze flitting between Nick and Evan. “What he said? Is that true, Dr. Matthews?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Fucking liar. Shae may have protected Evan’s body, but Nick’s promise to spare him didn’t include the bastard’s career. Max meets the woman’s worried eyes to ensure the message behind his questions comes through without any ambiguity “Then why were you in the hospital with a broken jaw? Why did you put your hands on Shae after she told you to let her go?”

  Her eyes widen at the apparent realization as to the truth behind Evan’s injury and weeks-long absence from his practice. “I’m pulling the consult. I’ll find someone else with fewer…” She glances again from Nick to Evan. “...issues. Your services are no longer needed.”

  “But Kim?”

  She ignores the idiot’s shocked tone and blazing cheeks. A furious shake of her head before she taps the keypad and yanks the door handle. Done with the conversation and the asshole. The damage to his career only a fraction of the punishment he deserves after all the bastard’s done. Max steps forward, more than ready to escort his ass out of here. Stupid motherfucker needs to be gone before Shae comes out.