Not Quite Over You

by Susan Mallery

  “Do you ever think about what would have happened if we’d stayed together?”

  Her eyes widened. “You and me?” She gave a strangled laugh. “Sometimes I do, but it would have been a disaster.”

  “Why?”

  “We were too young to have a baby. You had just started college. I appreciate that you said all the right things, but we both know you would have hated to come home. Where would you have gotten a job? Where would we have lived? You would have ended up resenting me and it would have been awful.”

  She spoke with an authority that made him realize she had thought about them staying together. She’d considered the possibilities and had rejected the premise of the question.

  “We might have been okay,” he said, not knowing why he wanted that to be true. It had been a long time ago—the decisions had been made and they’d both moved on.

  She looked at him. “I don’t think so. Besides, you’d already let me go and were ready to move on to someone else.”

  “I was still in love with you.” Maybe a little less than he had been when he’d left for college, but there had been feelings. Not that he’d wanted a baby. Not then. She was right about them being too young for that.

  “I appreciate you saying that but we both know it was long over. We’d moved on.” One corner of her mouth turned up. “Besides, your mother would never have let us get married.”

  “We were legally adults. We could do what we wanted.”

  “Uh-huh.” Her expression turned sympathetic. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? We’re talking about your mother. She would have found a way to stop us.”

  Silver was right about that, he admitted to himself. Not only had he been raised to respect his parents’ wishes, his mother had a way of manipulating people he couldn’t begin to master. Regardless, he liked to think he would have been strong.

  “I would have married you,” he told her. “If that was what you’d wanted.”

  Emotions flashed across her face. She opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something, then shook her head.

  “Thank you for saying that. I, ah...” She drew in a breath. “I have a meeting in an hour with a lot of prep work and you have to get back to the bank. Let’s talk soon.”

  “The sooner the better. We need to get the trailers remodeled and figure out what to do with this space.”

  “Absolutely.”

  He hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that there was more she wanted to discuss, but she only smiled.

  What had she been thinking and what had she wanted to say? He was about to cross the street toward the bank when he realized what it was. He’d told her he would have married her if that was what she wanted—a long way from saying he’d wanted it, too.

  Not that they were in love anymore, or even dating. But they’d been in the middle of a “what if” conversation and he hadn’t played along.

  He thought about going back to say something, only he couldn’t think of what. What would he tell her? That he was sorry she’d given up the baby? That he wished they’d gotten married? He wasn’t sure either of those statements were true. What he did know was that both he and Silver had come a long way and he was looking forward to finding out where they went after today.

  * * *

  SILVER COULDN’T SHAKE the fact that she’d been a complete and utter coward. She’d always thought of herself as reasonably brave and self-aware, but at the exact moment when she should have told Drew about Autumn and Leigh and the wedding, she’d said nothing.

  Drew had given her the perfect opening. Honestly, what had she been waiting for? But instead of taking advantage of the moment, of coming clean, she’d bolted. Now, not only did she still have to tell him, she got to beat herself up. She’d been five kinds of dumb.

  She walked into the conference room at Weddings Out of the Box. Renee was already there, tablet in hand, samples scattered around the table and a laptop opened to the teleconferencing program.

  “Hi,” she said when she saw Silver. “Thanks for coming. I know you could have just provided a drink list, but I appreciate you being here. I’ve never transferred a partially planned wedding from one bride and groom to another, so I can’t know if I’m doing it right.”

  “I’m not sure there’s a wrong way to do it,” Silver told her with a smile. “Except for messing up all the details.”

  “If this is you trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

  “Sorry.” Silver sat across from her. “Leigh is super excited to have the wedding mostly planned. She’s busy moving out of her place and working with her fiancé on the house they’re having built, on top of work and getting ready for the honeymoon and raising her daughter. Leigh is very easygoing and she’s going to love everything you do.”

  Renee smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. I think I’ll be able to relax a little after our phone call when I know she’s happy with the choices already made.”

  Renee glanced at the clock, then tapped a few keys on the computer. The screen showed the log-on sequence. Silver had seen the program in action before. It allowed multiple viewers to see each other and the Weddings Out of the Box conference room. Slides could be displayed to everyone attending the call, so they were all on the same page, so to speak. In the past, Silver had been at the meetings as a vendor representing AlcoHaul and occasionally the caterer. Today she was also a friend of the bride.

  Leigh’s smiling face appeared on the screen. She waved. “Hi, Silver. Hi, Renee. Thanks for doing this. I’m so excited. Denton has patients so he’s not going to join us but he said anything I love, he’ll love, too.”

  Her happiness was so much a part of who she was that Silver felt it reach through the screen and give her a big hug. Leigh had always been an upbeat person, but since falling in love with Denton, she’d become even more joyful.

  “We have a lot to get to,” Renee said. “So let’s dive in. There are some elements that the previous bride has chosen that can’t be changed. The date for one. We can be flexible on the time of the ceremony, of course. The only thing to keep in mind is there’s a wedding on Sunday afternoon, so we can’t go too late.”

  Leigh shook her head. “A five o’clock wedding with the reception right after is perfect. We’ll wrap up by ten, as the contract says. We’re not really stay-up-past-midnight people.”

  Renee made notes on her tablet. “Okay, on to food. You mentioned you looked over the menus. Any changes?”

  “Just a couple.”

  Leigh and Renee worked through the various courses including the custom cookies that had been ordered.

  “I love a cookie,” Leigh told them. “These are super cute. We want to keep them as a party favor.”

  A wedding cake had already been ordered and Leigh and Denton would be taking that, as well. It was relatively simple, with pale gold frosting and a few swags on each of the three tiers.

  When they were done with all things edible, Silver explained how the champagne fountain worked.

  “I have enough coupe glasses so we don’t have to rent any.”

  Leigh frowned. “Those are the round, old-fashioned champagne glasses?”

  “Uh-huh. They’re more sturdy. The base of the fountain will be sixteen glasses. That makes the fountain four glasses high, which looks pretty and is very manageable. Because the fountain is for display only, I’ve ordered crappy sparkling wine for that and we’ll have it set up before the reception. But for drinking, we’ll want something good.”

  Silver nodded at Renee. She’d already emailed her slides for the presentation. Renee hit a couple of keys and a large picture of a triangular-shaped glass appeared. There was a sugar rim and the liquid inside was pale gold.

  “In keeping with the Gatsby theme, I’ve been coming up with Roaring ’20s drink ideas. What if we went all champagne? Champagne by the glass,
along with two or three champagne-based cocktails?”

  Leigh clapped her hands together. “I love that idea. What did you have in mind?”

  Silver nodded at Renee, who advanced the presentation. “This drink is called a Caribou Martini. It’s coffee-flavored vodka and champagne. I know it sounds odd, but the flavors really work together. I’m also thinking a Sparkling Julep and a French 75.”

  “Those sound delicious. So three cocktails, plus champagne.”

  “Do you want an alternative for people who don’t like champagne? Maybe beer or wine?”

  “Denton would like a selection of Scotches, but otherwise, that’s it.”

  Silver made some notes. She would email Denton directly and get his thoughts on the type of Scotch he wanted. Prices ranged from around ten or fifteen dollars a bottle to a couple of hundred dollars. She wanted to make sure she knew what he was expecting the final bill to be.

  “I’ll get with him,” Silver said. “Scotch is super easy.”

  Renee made more notes. “Now let’s talk about the decorations. We’ve already ordered decorative drapes trimmed in pearls. In fact, pearls are a theme here. Strands of them will decorate the table. We’ve ordered teardrop-shaped balloons in cream. We use fishing line so the tethers aren’t visible, then hang them upside down from the ceiling. The tablecloths are pale gold, with darker gold chargers. The accents are black, including the napkins and the table numbers.”

  They walked through everything from flowers to the guest book. Leigh showed them a pair of shoes she’d bought that were decorated with pearls and feathers.

  “Silver, I found the perfect dress for you,” Leigh said. “And I ordered it, so I’m hoping you’ll love it.”

  “If it makes you happy, it makes me happy.”

  Leigh laughed. “You say that now.”

  “I mean it. This is your day. What is Autumn wearing?”

  “A little flapper-inspired dress. You’re going to love it. She’s going to be so cute.” Leigh glanced at Renee. “Autumn is my daughter.”

  Silver heard the caution in her friend’s tone and knew that Leigh was erring on the side of discretion. “She knows about me and Drew and the baby,” Silver assured her.

  “Oh good. We’re all so excited to meet Drew,” Leigh said. “I’ve always been curious about him and Autumn can’t wait to finally meet her birth father.”

  Words designed to make Silver feel a little nauseous. Even if she’d wanted to try to avoid Drew for the week Autumn was here, that wasn’t going to be a possibility. She had to tell him, and soon.

  “She understands about the adoption and everything?” Renee asked.

  Leigh nodded. “I always wanted her to know the truth. When Silver came to live with us, Autumn was still a baby. I don’t remember exactly when we started talking about it but by the time she was three, she was clear on the fact that she’d been adopted. I’m her mom but Silver grew her in her tummy.” Leigh laughed again. “Not that we describe it that way now. She’s eleven, so we can be a little more sophisticated in our conversation.”

  Silver’s sick feeling grew.

  Leigh glanced at her watch. “Oh my. I have to run. Is that everything?”

  “For now,” Renee told her. “We’ll schedule another call next week. Have a good rest of your day, Leigh.”

  “You, too.” Leigh blew Silver a kiss. “Love you, Silver.”

  “Love you, too.”

  The connection went dark. Renee turned off the computer.

  “Do you need to breathe into a paper bag?”

  Silver frowned. “Why would you ask that?”

  “You went totally white while Leigh was talking. I thought you were going to pass out.”

  “My stomach’s a little iffy.”

  “Is that what we’re calling it?”

  Silver put her arms on the table and rested her forehead on her hands. “I’m screwed.”

  “You are.”

  “You don’t have to agree with me.”

  “I’m an honest person.” Renee put her tablet on top of her computer, then collected the napkin samples. “I take it you haven’t told Drew about Autumn.”

  Silver straightened. “Not yet. I need to. I get that. I just don’t know how to start the conversation.” She sighed. “It’s weird. It’s not as if he doesn’t know I got pregnant and therefore there was a baby born, but we’ve never talked about it. Not really. I’m sure he assumes I simply gave up our child and walked away. I don’t know how to say it’s different than that.”

  “You’re afraid he’s going to be mad, or feel betrayed?”

  Silver groaned. “Yes, but that makes no sense. It’s not like he asked. It’s not like he ever bothered to find out what happened. I’m not the bad guy here. He’s not, either. It’s just...”

  “You feel guilty.”

  “I do. Why is that?”

  “Because you kept something from him, and while the reasons made sense at the time, you’re less sure now and you’re going to have to tell him and won’t that be awkward.”

  Silver studied her friend. “You’re insightful, aren’t you?”

  “I can be.”

  Why was that? Had Renee been born more intuitive than most or had life circumstances pushed her to the fringes where she was forced to observe rather than participate?

  Yet another question that would be difficult to ask, Silver thought.

  “I’m going to tell him,” she said, as much to herself as to Renee. “Really, really soon.”

  “Or you could wait and let Autumn spring it on him.”

  “I wouldn’t do that to her. When she meets her birth father, I want it to be a happy moment.”

  “What about for Drew?”

  “I want him to understand and be sweet to his daughter.”

  “Are you worried he won’t be?”

  “Not really. I’m mostly being a coward, which isn’t like me.” She put both hands on the desk and looked at Renee. “I’m done being wishy-washy. I’m telling him no matter what.”

  Renee smiled. “You go, girl.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  DREW HEADED UP to the big house. As he parked, he chuckled at the double meaning—in many ways his grandfather’s estate had been the opposite of prison. When Drew had moved in, he’d felt a sense of release and freedom.

  The Saturday morning air was clear with only the slightest hint of crispness. Fall in the California desert meant warm days and cool nights. It wasn’t until winter that temperatures would get anywhere close to cold. He tried to get out to the house at least a couple of Saturday mornings a month. Not so much to check on his grandfather as to hang out with him. Despite his years, Grandpa Frank was healthy, active and always looking for fun. Drew hoped to be just like him when he was in his eighties.

  The housekeeper let him in. She smiled. “Good morning, Mr. Drew.”

  “Good morning, Amelia. How are things?”

  “Good. Thank you. Your grandfather is in his office.”

  “Thanks. I’ll show myself back.” He hesitated. “Is she, ah, up?”

  Amelia hid a smile behind her hand. “She’s gone into town already, Mr. Drew.”

  “Excellent.”

  His aunt Libby lived with her father. She’d moved back to the house where she’d grown up years ago, when Pallas and Cade had still been kids. Drew had never understood why, but he remembered his mother being livid when she’d found out. From what he could recall, his mother’s fury had been more about not thinking of making the move first rather than missing out on time with her father. A few years later, his parents had left the country but the annoyance had not been forgotten.

  Irene and Libby had always been competitive and not in a positive way. His other aunts were pleasant, charming women. Drew had always wondered why his mother and Libby were so, ah, diff
erent.

  He found his grandfather sitting at his computer. When he spotted Drew, he smiled and stood.

  “Why don’t you have a life?” he teased as he walked over and hugged him. “You should be lying in bed with a beautiful young woman on a Saturday morning. Not visiting an old man.”

  “You’re my favorite grandfather,” Drew told him. “Where else would I be? Besides, I seem to be fresh out of beautiful young women at the moment.”

  Not counting Silver, he reminded himself, thinking about the new tattoo he’d seen and wondering about the ones he hadn’t. As a teenager, Silver had ensnared him with her beauty and humor and street smarts. All these years later, she was only more enticing. Working with her was even better than he’d hoped, and he’d hoped for a lot.

  They walked to the kitchen, where Grandpa Frank poured them each a cup of coffee. They sat in the sunroom. From there they could see much of the town along with the golf course and animal preserve.

  “I’m thinking of buying a car,” his grandfather said. “A 1968 Mustang.”

  “Sweet. Already restored or would you do the work yourself?”

  “I’m not sure. Restored is more expensive, but at my age, I have no interest in crawling under a car. I’ll have to see.” He winked at Drew. “It will annoy your aunt.”

  “It’s your money. Libby doesn’t get a vote.”

  “She doesn’t see it that way. How’s your mother?”

  The question sounded casual enough but Drew still went on alert. As a rule, he and Grandpa Frank never discussed his parents.

  “Last I heard, she and Dad are doing well.”

  His grandfather sipped his coffee. “They want you to run the bank for a few years, then join them at the lobbying firm.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “You’re still not interested?”

  Drew shook his head. “I like where I am. I’ve always been interested in how money works and that hasn’t changed.”

  His grandfather eyed him. “You’re making plans for after I retire. I know you are.”