Bo & Ember

by Andrea Randall

  “Shoot,” Ember hissed as she checked the time on her cell phone. “I’ve got to get into the kitchen and start dinner. Monica and Josh will be here any minute. Tyler, can you come back tomorrow or the next day to talk about the upstairs?” Ember stood and put her hand on his shoulder.

  “Sure. I’ve got one or two things I want to talk to Bo about, but I’ll come back and we can finalize ideas. I can start pricing things for you.”

  Ember stopped as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen, turning around slowly and looking a bit embarrassed. “Shit. We haven’t really discussed a budget.”

  Tyler looked to me for direction. I took the lead.

  “We’ll discuss it later. I’ve given Tyler figures already. Sorry, it slipped my mind.” I stood, and Tyler followed suit.

  Ember’s eyes settled on me for a few seconds. Her lips pulled into a straight line before she came up with a smile and said, “Okay. Well, thanks for everything, Tyler.” She gave him a quick hug and returned to the kitchen, burying her head in the refrigerator as she dug around.

  Tyler nodded toward the stairwell. Once at the top of the stairs, he rapped a knuckle against the wall. “I want to leave the widow’s watch as is. It’s brilliant and the light it lets in here is something I could never recreate. I want to talk to you about stripping the hallway, too. Getting rid of all this dark wood. I never remember it being this dark in here when we were kids. Was it?”

  I managed a half grin as I prepared my canned response. “Shit happens, and you kind of see things differently, I guess, huh?” I wandered over to Rae’s bedroom door and ran my hand down the doorframe. It was a little too dark.

  “I … I don’t know if you’re saying that to me or yourself…” Tyler tucked his laptop under his arm and leaned against the opposite side of Rae’s door.

  I sighed and set my head against the wood. “I guess I don’t either.”

  “Look, Bo.” Tyler spoke quietly, no doubt so Ember wouldn’t hear. “If it’s going to be too weird for you to have me working here—”

  I straightened myself and looked him right in his eyes. “Stop. It’s not going to be weird. Sorry that I went rogue there for a second. Look, it’s fine. It’s all over now, right?”

  Tyler’s face fell right along with his eyes as they swept to the floor. “Yeah,” he swallowed hard, “but you know I never meant to—”

  “Hey,” I interrupted. “We were all just kids. None of us knew a damn thing. But, yeah … do whatever you want to the hallway, okay? You worked a miracle in that bedroom. She’s in love.”

  Tyler’s smile was infectious as he met my eyes. “So are you. And, Christ, it’s a beautiful thing.”

  Just then, there was a knock on the door.

  “That must be Josh and Monica.” I smiled and slapped Tyler’s shoulder. “Come down and meet them before you take off.”

  “This is Ember’s best friend, right?” Tyler trailed me, trying to organize himself socially.

  “Yep. They went to Princeton together and worked at the Hope Foundation until Ember and I left for California.”

  “That’s domestic violence, right?”

  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned, confused, to Tyler. “Huh?”

  “The Hope Foundation. They deal with domestic violence.”

  “Oh, right. Yes. You know about them?”

  Tyler nodded. “Amends, brother. Amends.”

  I gave him a knowing nod as we reached the front door at the same time Ember did. She completely ignored us, throwing the door open and squealing so loud, Tyler and I winced.

  “I can order stronger glass for your new windows,” he whispered, laughing at the same time.

  In a flurry of hugs and tears and manly nods, Tyler was introduced to Josh and Monica before he left, and the four of us went to the kitchen, where Ember had wine and beer waiting for us.

  “Oh!” Monica shrieked before she’d even said hi to me. “You’ve got to show me the bedroom!”

  Ember grabbed her wine glass and the girls raced up the stairs.

  When order had returned, Josh and I were standing silently in the kitchen holding our frosted pint glasses.

  “So,” Josh started with a chuckle, “how ya been?”

  Ember

  “You weren’t kidding.” Monica’s eyes were wide as she circled the renovated bedroom. “This is amazing!”

  “Right? I know you didn’t meet him for long, but Tyler is amazing. Not just talented, but super nice. Did you get new makeup? You look amazing.” I felt like I was talking a million miles a minute. Monica and I texted and talked on the phone several times a day, but it was so good to see her face again.

  Monica stuck her head in the bathroom as I sat on the bed. “Yeah, the MAC counter is my friend. Are you changing anything in here?”

  “I want to. I’d like a corner walk-in shower and his and her sinks, but we’ll have to see what the cost is. Oh, get this…” I moved to the other side of the bed and Monica joined me. I set my glass on the bedside table and told her about the slightly weird money discussion Bo and I didn’t really have in front of Tyler.

  “What’s weird?” Monica shrugged.

  “I don’t know … we didn’t talk about it, really.”

  “Were you planning on paying for the remodel?”

  “No. But we haven’t really talked about money at all.”

  Monica took a breath. “I wouldn’t stress it until you can talk about it later. He’s not exactly cash-poor, and neither are you. With your recording contract to boot, I’d say you’ve got enough money to sort it all out.”’

  I twisted my lips and looked sideways at my wine glass. “I guess you’re right. Well, let’s go back downstairs and rejoin the husbands.”

  “You’re pregnant,” Monica blurted out, causing the acid in my stomach to rise.

  My eyes widened as I took in her red cheeks. “No, I’m not, you’re pregnant! That’s what’s with your face being all … glow-y.”

  “You haven’t touched your wine since we’ve been up here. This isn’t my first time meeting you, you know.”

  “Look at you,” I snapped. “You didn’t even bring your wine upstairs!”

  “Don’t fuck with me, November Blue Harris.” Monica tilted her head to the side.

  I shrugged. “Don’t you fuck with me.”

  Suddenly the room was uncomfortably silent. I caught the slight quiver of Monica’s chin and my tears followed suit.

  “Shit, are you serious?” Monica squeaked.

  I leaned my head into my hands as I spoke. “Please tell me you’re pregnant and I’m not insane.”

  “You’re insane, but I am pregnant. I took the test a couple of weeks ago.”

  I sat up straight. “A couple of weeks ago?”

  “You were busy getting a contract and moving here and we hadn’t been to the doctor yet, blah blah. Shut up. You’re pregnant!”

  I put my hand over her mouth. “Shh!”

  Monica rolled her eyes. “I’m going to tell Josh—“

  “No, you’re not. I haven’t told Bo. I don’t even—”

  “Did you take a test?”

  I leaned over to my bedside stand and opened the drawer, pulling out two very positive pregnancy tests. I’d tried to keep it a secret, even from myself, but I couldn’t look Monica in the face and deny it. As I held them out, my hand shook.

  “When’d you take these?” Monica asked.

  “The day after we signed the contract with Grounded Sound.” My voice started to shake, too.

  “Shit.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Are you okay?” Monica whispered as she scanned my face.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting the tests to disappear, but they didn’t. Tears rolled down my face as I shook my head.

  “This is the worst timing in the history of everything. God,” I continued. “I’ve been a wreck since we’ve been here. I’ve been able to pass it off as exhaustion, stress, or unfairly taking advantage of
Bo’s broody mood, but … I’m running out of options. With how stressed Bo’s been lately, I just haven’t … found the right time. I don’t even know how this happened,” I said in futility.

  Monica put her hand on my leg. “You guys use condoms, right?” She knew my aversion to the pill was strong.

  I nodded but slowed it down to a hesitant movement. “Most of the time. But I keep track of my cycle for times when we don’t. I mean, we’re not careless, but sometimes … ugh. My cycle probably got all fucked up over the summer on the tour … I don’t … Jesus. I’m scared. But, I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? I want to talk about you and your baby!”

  “Please. Bo Cavanaugh has “dad” written all over his face. If I were you, I would have spilled this the second his mood seemed sour. And, you have to tell him, Em. He’ll want to be in on every appointment. You can’t wait till you’re showing to break the news.”

  Monica’s practical sarcasm calmed me down. She was right. I hadn’t been thinking clearly while carrying around this secret, especially when I missed my second period. I’d have to tell him, but tonight in front of Josh and Monica wasn’t the right time.

  I took a deep breath. “How did we end up pregnant at the same damn time?”

  Monica grinned. “Bo’s your soul mate, and I’m your best friend soul mate.”

  “You’re not mad? I kind of feel like a schmuck since you guys were actually trying and planning.”

  “Mad? How could I possibly be mad to go through the scariest thing ever with my best friend? This is perfect. Too bad we don’t live in the same town, or we could hang out together in breast-milk soaked clothes as we dream about wine. Oh! If I’m a little late and you’re a little early, we’ll be birthday buddies!”

  I laughed for a second before my eyebrows shot up. “Wine. Right. I’m going to dump some of this out. If neither of us appears to be drinking, it will be all kinds of obvious. Let’s get back down to the guys.”

  I slid off the bed and Monica tugged on my hand, pulling me into a hug.

  “I love you, Ember. Congratulations.” She sniffed and pressed her forehead into my shoulder.

  I kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Mon. This is batshit crazy.”

  We bounced down the stairs and found the guys standing in the same place we’d left them ten minutes earlier. Perched against the counter. The only signs that time had passed in that room at all were the nearly empty pint glasses in their hands.

  “Calm down, guys,” Monica spit out her best sarcasm.

  “What’s with you two?” Bo joked as his eyes shot back and forth between us. I tried to control my grin. And failed.

  Josh held out his hand. “You told her.”

  I looked to Monica who wore a guilty smile. “I didn’t.”

  “She didn’t,” I confirmed. “I could just … tell.” I grabbed Monica’s hand and gave it a light squeeze, reminding her to keep the status of my uterus on lockdown.

  From her back pocket, Monica produced a soft and shiny ultrasound picture. I couldn’t make out anything specific, but there was definitely something there. I felt my hand instinctively move to cover my lower stomach, but I stopped it, reaching for her picture instead.

  I gently took the picture from her and walked to Bo, leaning my shoulder into his arm. “Look at this,” I whispered. The lump in my throat prevented any more words to come out.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered back, kissing the top of my head.

  The way his eyes creased at the edges as he smiled killed me. I knew there was a baby inside me, too, and the glimpse of what his face could look like sent chills down my spine. Monica was right—I was insane to be nervous about telling him. It was a baby. It was our baby.

  He leaned away from the counter and hugged Monica. “Congratulations, Mon.”

  I wiped more tears from my eyes and hugged Josh. “You guys … seriously…” I sniffed away more tears as I relished the beauty of it all.

  “How far along are you?” Bo asked, unsurprising in his attention to detail.

  “Just eight weeks,” Monica answered. “But, we got to hear the heartbeat, and everything looks as good as can be expected.” She moved over to Josh and leaned into his side as he put his arm around her shoulders.

  “Your parents must be thrilled.” I had goosebumps just thinking of how excited my own parents would be.

  “Oh, you have no idea,” Josh feigned exasperation.

  “But,” Monica cut in, “this means for your summer tour I’ll have a newborn strapped to my body during your shows.”

  My stomach sank and Monica’s eyes shot to mine. Suddenly I was reminded of the perfect storm this little baby would create inside the halls of Grounded Sound Entertainment.

  The four of us cracked into laughter. A minute later the oven timer dinged.

  Josh put a hand over his stomach. “Good lord, let’s eat.”

  “Sympathy hunger?” I teased.

  He grinned. “It’s uncanny.”

  A few hours later, Josh, Monica, and incubating Baby Dixon headed out for their drive back to Barnstable. I closed and locked the door behind them, sighing in bliss at their new happiness.

  I picked up the last of the dishes from the dining room table, and brought them to the kitchen, where Bo was rinsing plates and putting them in the dishwasher.

  “That’s exciting, huh?” Bo wore a tired but genuine grin.

  I bent down to meet his lips as he stacked plates in the rack. “I know. I can’t believe it.”

  “You should have seen the look on your face.” Bo’s voice sounded like velvet as his eyes followed my movements around the kitchen.

  “What do you mean?”

  Bo draped the dishtowel over his shoulder, leaning casually against the granite counter. “Your face exploded in joy. I don’t see that look much.”

  I set the wine bottle in the recycling bin and walked back to Bo, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m that happy, though. All the time.” I exhaled dreamily and kissed his chin.

  “I’m glad. You deserve to be that happy all the time.”

  “So do you.” I pulled back to allow him to kiss my forehead. A feeling that would always give me butterflies.

  “I am,” he reassured me, his hands sliding to my backside as he pulled me closer.

  I surrendered fully to the warmth of his hug. I regretted the topic change I was about to pull, but so much had happened today that we needed to discuss.

  “So,” I started, backing up and resuming my cleanup of the kitchen. “Did Tyler talk to you about our upstairs plans?”

  Bo ran a hand though his frazzled hair. “Yep. He also talked about the hallway. Getting rid of the dark wood, or something.”

  Bo turned back to the sink and I bagged up vegetables and cheese and put them in the refrigerator.

  “We haven’t nailed down ideas for all of the rooms upstairs, but I’m happy with what he showed us for down here. Are you?” I cleared my throat, fighting anxiety.

  “Yeah. That sunroom idea is great. I guess I didn’t realize how dark it can get in here sometimes.”

  I closed the fridge and left my hand on the handle while I took a deep breath. Apparently, I was quiet for a beat too long. Bo turned off the water and called me out.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Uh,” I cleared my throat again, “about the budget…”

  Bo took a deep breath through his nose, exhaling in his always-controlled manner. “Ember, I told you it was fine. I sent him the numbers to work with before you met with him. I needed him to know what he had to work with.”

  “You didn’t talk to me about it.”

  Bo lifted his chin. “You look mad.”

  “I’m … frustrated.”

  “Why?”

  “We haven’t really discussed how we’re handling our money. In California we just split the bills and we didn’t have that many to begin with. I’m … I don’t know. I guess I’m uncomfortable with you paying for everyt
hing for this renovation. Some of the things he’s talking about are going to carry a big price tag.” My palms began to sweat.

  I hated talking about money because everyone got weird about it. Furthermore, I was on socially uneven ground. My parents and their friends never dealt with money the same way the rest of the world did. There were work exchanges, co-ops, etc. So, really, I didn’t know what was acceptable. All grant writing taught me was how to discuss money on a corporate level. I was at a loss here.

  Bo wiped down the counter, closed the dishwasher, and started it. “Look, Ember, I don’t know what to tell you. We have projects we want to do on the house, so we’ll get them done.

  “Right, but we didn’t discuss a budget. ‘Whatever’ isn’t a budget. What if I wanted to help pay?”

  “This is ridiculous. What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine.” Bo began pacing in circles through the kitchen.

  “Okay, well, if what’s yours is mine, did it occur to you to discuss how we’d be spending our money? What if we wanted to save for trips, or kids, or college, or—”

  Bo stopped pacing and put his hands on his hips. “What aren’t you understanding, Ember? I can’t take it with me when I go. There will always be plenty. Trust me.”

  I stuck out my hands. “That’s the other thing. I don’t even know how much you … have. God, I hate this conversation.”

  Without a word, Bo exited the kitchen through the back hallway. I heard the shuffling of papers in his office, and then he returned holding a thick, bound folder. He tossed it to the table, where it landed with a loud thump.

  “There.” He gestured to the table.