Filthy Cowboy

by Amy Brent

  “He’ll kill you. We can’t tell him now.” I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder. “When did this get so complicated?”

  “It wasn’t planned,” he assured me as I looked down at the sheets.

  “I messed up with my pill. I think that I’m at fault.” I knew about his divorce and the details now, and I felt guilty, knowing what he went through with that. I didn’t know too much about it at all before the pregnancy. “I don’t want to trap you like this.”

  “I’m happy with you, Tory. I don’t mind that this happened,” James assured me as I stared at him. “I could’ve walked away once I found out about her, but I didn’t. I want to be in your life.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked as I read his expression. He was giving up everything for our daughter and me.

  “Yes. We’ll work through this.” James kissed my head as I closed my eyes. I always fell asleep here, and I was glad that my parents didn’t pay that much attention to me at night, even though they grew more concerned as the pregnancy moved forward. I was always home when they woke up in the morning.

  Around the sixth and a half month mark, they started to call me more and more if I was out late. I felt worse lying now and I’d go home earlier, taking time away from James. I knew that he was trying to focus on the beginning of the season in a few weeks and that the team was working hard to prepare. I knew that my absence bothered him since he was as worried as my parents were behind the scenes.

  I didn’t want to be a burden and I reconsidered us telling my parents all over again, though I’d have to either way. He’d want to see his daughter whether or not we were together. James was going to be an excellent father and I’d never take that away from him.

  We started to fight as I stayed home more and more. I was getting more tired as my stomach grew and school work was dragging me down more now. I talked to James and texted him as much as I could, but he said that wasn’t enough. My hormones agreed and I made a point of going over on the weekends to try and pacify the situation.

  I wanted to make everyone happy and it was taking everything out of me. I couldn’t wait to be on a break from school and be able to focus on all of the other chaos in my life.

  CHAPTER 10

  Jame

  I was relieved when Tory agreed to see me again, not at all surprised that we began to sleep together immediately. We already had a strong pull, and she was pregnant, so it seemed natural. I didn’t want her with anyone else, and she assured me that she did not want anyone else.

  That happened after I questioned whether or not the baby was mine. Tory was pissed and threw a glass across my kitchen, reminding me not to mess with her out of balance hormones. She insisted that there was nobody but me and how could I think that there ever could be?

  She was a firecracker when mad as well as in bed, and I was falling in love with her. I let the issue of us go for a few months after we got back together to keep her relaxed, but I knew that I couldn’t do it forever. I needed to know that she and my daughter were going to be a part of my life.

  I didn’t even tell her that I loved her and she never said the words to me, though I was sure that it showed in the way that we looked at each other. It was in the way that we loved each other behind closed doors. It was in the way that I hoped out daughter looked a little more like Tory than she did me, because her mother was beautiful.

  Even the team asked me what was going on in my life. There were times that I was content and relaxed with them as well as days that I was on edge. They teased me about a new girlfriend and I was frustrated that I couldn’t tell them the truth. I couldn’t tell them anything. These were like my sons and I wanted to share my news with them, knowing that they’d be the overprotective uncles to this baby. At this rate, I wouldn’t be with her mother since we kept fighting with all of the stress hovering around the situation. It was terrible and I grew more on edge being alone in my house as I worked on a pretty pink nursery for my baby girl.

  The season started and I was busy with that, but missing Tory. She only came over on weekends since her parents were acting worried, something they had the right to when I didn’t.

  It was making me crazy and I picked up the phone one day to make some calls. I had to find a way to make Tory mine so we could be a family once and for all.

  I decided to give everyone until the upcoming holidays to drop the bomb. It would be a break for Tory and we got together for a big Thanksgiving party every year. I’d skipped it last year since my mother had come down with a serious flu that put her in the hospital, but this year I’d be home and able to go through with my plan.

  I made some calls and hung up with a grin on my face as I stared at my phone and considered calling Tory. No, this as a surprise to her as well and one that I hoped was well received.

  I had just over a month to plan and I took what Tory could give me in that time. I knew that she was stressed out and the upcoming due date wasn’t helping matters. Her parents were being overbearing and school was nothing but studying for her right now.

  I let her study at my house in the evenings, watching her on the couch one night as I went over plays. She looked beautiful with her long hair and growing belly, and I saw her glance at me. “What?”

  “I want you to move in,” I told her, nudging the subject as she stared at me.

  “How? You’re lucky that I’m here at all. I doubt that they’ll let me leave the house once she’s born.” Tory was crabby, and I reached over and took her hand.

  “Just study. We’ll worry about this later.” I assured her as she smiled at me and looked down at her book.

  She finished with all of her tests just before the middle of November, and I saw her a little more than usual. It was hard to leave her house, but Tory told her parents that she wanted to shop herself for things, even though there was a shower coming up just before Christmas. I sat back and let my plan form.

  Tory took advantage of her parent’s party planning and came by to see me more since she wasn’t allowed to help this year. She looked gorgeous even though she claimed that she was a beached whale all of the time. I disagreed.

  CHAPTER 11

  Tory

  The party was next week, and I was so glad to be done with school. I helped Mom from the couch as she planned the caterers, called the bartenders and scheduled delivery of the additional tables that we’d need. As stressed as party planning made my mom, she loved it. Nothing made her happier than keeping busy.

  I knew that she had a baby shower planned for me as well, though I’d asked for something smaller. I didn’t want it to be one of the events that they planned for the team or the extended family. That was intimate.

  I left the house when I could to see James, loving the feelings of his arms around me. He soothed me in a world that seemed so uncertain, though he didn’t bother me about moving in anymore. He just acted happy when I was there as though he didn’t want anything else and I got scared with that. My mind was mush. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore, and I grumbled about the party.

  “It’ll be fun, Tor. Lots of good food, the team. It’s tradition,” James told me as I rolled my eyes. “Maybe we can sneak off into that little room for old times’ sake.” I smacked his shoulder for that and crawled over him as I kissed him. It wasn’t easy, but we managed these days, and he seemed happy.

  Too happy.

  I managed to help Mom decorate for the party here and there, looking forward to it being over. Maybe then, James and I could sit down with them and tell them what was going on, just the four of us. I knew that there was going to be a fight afterward, and I wanted to keep it as calm and quiet as possible.

  This was so nerve-wracking for me.

  I wore a beautiful purple dress the night of the party with some black flats. It had cute cap sleeves and hugged my chest while it draped over my stomach down to my knees. I looked in the mirror after I lined my eyes with some dark liner and added some mascara. I didn’t want the bombshell effect from the pa
rty the year before since I got what I wanted, just without the man. I just wanted to be pretty because the cameras would be going off and my daughter deserved a beautiful picture of her mother before her birth.

  Then I would go cry for what I didn’t have in my life; the man that I loved but was too afraid to say the words to.

  James hadn’t told me that he loved me either, even though there had been hints about my moving in here and there and his telling me that he wanted me in my life. That was all I had and I wanted love for us. I wanted love for our daughter.

  I went downstairs when the guests started arriving and forced a smile on my glossed lips as I descended carefully down the stairs. The team was arriving and I greeted them as they passed by me on the way to the bar to grab a drink, accompanied by their cute kids and beautiful wives. I told the family members that were walking in and hugged them as they told me how beautiful I looked.

  James took my breath away when he came in, dressed in a classic suit with his hair slicked back. He shook my father’s hand and kissed my mother’s cheek before he moved to me. “Looking beautiful as always,” James told me before he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to my cheek before moving into the house. I felt wrecked with the idea that I couldn’t join him, holding his hand and walking around with him. I imagined him here with a date and the idea killed me as I watched him smile at everyone as he chatted, looking happy and content. What was his secret?

  We sat to eat dinner and I considered myself lucky to be at the same table that he was. My father said a blessing as he always did at big meals and he teared up when he mentioned the baby and looked at me. I fought my own tears after all of the silence and stress I’d seen him go through over the last year. I glanced at James, who was smiling to himself as he raised his glass.

  Why was he so damn happy? I wiped the tears away that were more than just a reaction to my father. I wanted to stand up and scream that I was in love with James and that he was the father of my baby. I wanted them all to know.

  I was done with my plate and I pushed it away as James stood and cleared his throat. I stared at him, wondering what the hell he was up to. “I have a few things I’d like to say here.” He looked at my father and smiled. “Gary, I have been blessed to coach for your team. The guys are like my own kids but I’ve made the decision to resign and my assistant coach is happy to step up and take over for me. I have something else that I want to pursue in my life.”

  “James, what’s going on?” My father stood and looked at him with angry eyes. “Is it money?”

  “No, sir.” He stopped in front of my chair and dropped to one knee as my mouth dropped open. “I am in love with your daughter and she’s giving me a beautiful gift. The baby is mine and I want her to marry me more than anything and be a family.” I felt tears slide down my cheeks as the room reacted, but nobody stronger than my father.

  “You did this to Tory? She’s a kid, James. What the hell is wrong with you?” I winced as we were all a witness to Dad’s anger and I looked at him.

  “I’m going to be twenty-two soon, Dad. I am young but not too young to be his wife and a mother. I love him, and we’ve been seeing each other for months, only secretly. We didn’t know how to tell you, and I didn’t expect…this.” I looked at him and wiped my eyes. “What are you doing?”

  “I’ve been dying to say all of this to you, Tory. I wanted to do it big and prove to this entire room that I’m in love with you.” He stood and looked at my dad. “Can I have your daughter’s hand in marriage, sir? I promise to take the utmost care of her and our daughter. I will make them my everything and give her the world. I just know that I can’t live without her.”

  “Shit, James. I don’t know whether to punch you or kill you right now. She’s my baby…” He looked at James and me. “You two are really in love?”

  “Desperately,” I told him as the tears ran free down my cheeks.

  “Take care of her,” my brother said as he stood with my father, joined by the other one. “Take care of her and the baby.”

  “For God’s sake,” I said as I wiped my eyes and looked down at James. “I know he will.”

  “You bet your ass he will,” Dad said as Mom looked over his shoulder and glared at him. “Go ahead, James. Do what you’re going to do.”

  James swallowed and looked at me. “Tory, I have loved you for far longer than I might be willing to admit and I’d love for you to be my wife. I want to make a home together for our baby. Will you marry me?”

  “Yes, yes and yes. I’ve been waiting for you to say this to me.” I laughed nervously as he pulled a ring from his pocket and slipped it on my finger as I started to cry again. It was beautiful with a band covered in diamonds surrounding another rock that was big enough to sparkle but not gaudy. I loved it, and Jack stood and pulled me slowly into his arms as everyone started to clap.

  He kissed me softly and whispered that he loved me. He whispered that he always loved me, and I agreed before kissing him again. We pulled away and looked around at the faces staring back at us. Some were shocked, others were smiling, but the most notable faces in the room were my parents as they lifted their glasses in a toast.

  “I am going to offer you the job back as well, James. I don’t mind keeping football in the family, but don’t expect any special treatment from me. I still expect the team to win it all this year.” Dad said as we both stared at him. He winked and James looked at me.

  “What do you think?”

  “What do you think? I get to keep you either way,” I told him as I stared at him.

  “I was going to take some time off with you, travel once the baby is here and maybe join a business with my friend. I want to be home with you,” James told me as I smiled at him.

  “You’ve taken the team this far already this year, and I’ll be busy with the baby once she’s born. We won’t be traveling anywhere for a while. We can go on a great trip in a few months. Stay for a while,” I urged James as he kissed me.

  “I’ll take that offer…Dad.”

  Dad groaned, and I pulled James closer for another kiss.

  I knew that we could make it. I knew that we had the love for each other as well as our baby.

  The End

  DADDY’S BEST FRIEND

  "It's good to have you home again, Max," said Sam.

  Would that I could say the same, she thought. But her modeling career, in as much as she had one, had gone bust, so while her parents thought it was great that she was at home again, the sting of failure was still a bit hard for Maxine Sawyer to stand.

  Her mother, a small, lean woman with frizzy hair and 1970s-style aviator glasses, led her upstairs, back to her old room. It felt weird, being treated like a guest even though she already knew where everything was. Her parents hadn't done much to her bedroom--they'd donated or otherwise got rid of all of her old clothes and cleaned out her trove of high school art projects, from the time she'd thought she wanted to be a designer. They'd kept some of her better pieces, though, she was glad to see. But otherwise her room was much as she'd left it when she landed her first modeling contract in Los Angeles--the white lace bedcovers were still there and the walls were still the warm shade of butter-yellow and her old crocheted rug was still next to her bed.

  "Wow," Max murmured, as she threw her suitcase on her bed. "This brings back memories."

  "Your father and I were hoping that you'd stay, go to college--"

  "Mom, not now, okay?" Max said. Her parents had never liked the idea of her being a model. They said it was a career path fueled by drugs and alcohol, one that turned pretty girls into old women before their time. Max could see the truth of that, even as a willful teen, but she was determined to make a living of it all the same.

  She did everything right--she worked whatever jobs she could find, her green eyes and blue-black hair landing her opportunities that most models couldn't get. She had a "charming, beguiling look", as the modeling agency that hired her maintained. But after three years, th
e contracts started drying up. She wondered what it could be--certainly not her weight, which she'd maintained at a steady 112 pounds since the beginning. And her reputation--eager, hard-working, creative, intelligent--was stellar.

  "Sorry kid," Gerry had said. That was the Gerry O’Connell, the manager of the All Occasions modeling agency she signed with, when she called to ask him why she had no work. "These things come and go. One moment you're in, the next everybody wants sun-kissed blondes. Right now it's a Brazilian moment—deep tans, tousled salt-sprayed hair. Maybe you'll have better luck in Ireland."

  Well, she would have gone to Ireland--she'd thought about it, and even started the visa application, at least until she realized that just filing the papers would cost her $500, and that was $499 more than she could spare. Damn the EU, she'd thought. Only later did she realize that even the cheapest flight to Ireland was easily in the four digits.

  So it was on to Plan B, which she would have been okay with if Plan B actually paid anything. In LA, if you couldn't make it as a model then you hacked it as a waitress, worked bit parts as an extra in movies and shows, or you signed up for making porn. Waiting tables was a hellish hustle, which would have been worth it nonetheless until she realized that every diner would have to tip her at least 18%, and she needed at least 30 hours a week, before she could make rent. And given that the management always skimmed a bit off the tips and she could have her hours cut without notice, it became impossible to both pay rent and eat, and while CopaCopa did give the wait staff free meals it was only one meal in a day, and that was barely enough for even a model. She wound up going through Whole Foods, because they at least had free samples, but after the second assistant asked her if she needed any help she realized that it would be suspicious to go to Whole Foods and never buy anything. Working as an extra was mostly about free food and strong coffee. Porn actually did pay, but just the process of getting cast was more humiliating and degrading than she had the stomach for. For some reason her being a virgin was supremely desirable--but when they began talking about lessons on how to give proper blow-jobs suddenly calling her parents and asking to come home didn't seem so bad.