Jessica

by Bryce Courtenay

  ‘You mean you now own Riverview Station?’ Hester, the first to recover from Jack’s announcement, exclaims. ‘Yeah, I suppose that’s true,’ Jack grins.

  Jessica reaches over and grabs his arm. ‘You’ll be able to do all the things you’ve talked about,’ she says excitedly.

  Meg is stunned. Jessica has won the prize she has worked so hard to earn. It is too much to bear and she pushes back her stool and £lees, sobbing, from the table. Jack looks perplexed. ‘What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?’ he asks bewildered.

  Hester is again the first to recover. ‘No, no, it’s simply her way of showing how pleased she is for you, Jack,’ she says hastily. ‘She’s been terribly upset since your ... er, father .. .’ She does not complete the sentence but takes a deep breath to steady herself, then says, ‘Well I can’t tell you what a great relief it is to us all to know that your future is secure.’ She tries hard to make her smile seem sincere, though Jessica knows her mother well enough to see she’s biting back her frustration.

  Jack looks relieved. ‘That’s very nice of you and Meg, Mrs Bergman.’ Then he shrugs and gives a short laugh. ‘I dunno about my future being secure, though. As you know I’m in the local militia, well they’ve asked us to join up. I’m going to fight in the war.’

  Hester has risen and is halfway out of the room on her way to force Meg to return to the table. ‘The war? You’re going off to the war?’ she says, as though she can’t quite comprehend such an idea. ‘But there isn’t any war?’

  ‘There will be, could be declared any day now.’ Jack turns to Joe for confirmation. ‘Wouldn’t yer reckon, Joe?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Joe says flatly. ‘It’s comin’ orright, war clouds gathering over Europe.’

  Jessica has remained silent since Jack’s last announcement. She has her head bowed and fidgets with her pinny. Jack turns to her. ‘I’ve got an uncle in Sydney who’s going to be the colonel of a squadron of the 1st New South Wales Light Horse, he’s got me in.’ He shakes his head. ‘Fancy that, Jessie, I’m going to war on horseback. Don’t you wish you could come, mate?’

  Jessica looks up slowly, tears running silently down her cheeks. ‘You could get killed,’ she sniffs, then knuckles the tears from her eyes.

  Jack laughs. ‘Nah, not me, mate. I’m too ugly and stupid to die.’

  ‘You’re not ugly and stupid!’ Jessica cries out, then falls silent, blushing furiously.

  Joe sees Jessica’s dismay and looks over to Jack and inquires, ‘How long have you got?’

  ‘What do you mean, Joe?’

  ‘Here. Before you go?’

  ‘A week, then Sydney for ten weeks, then .. .’ Jack shrugs. ‘I dunno, could be over the pond right off if war is declared.’

  Later Jack goes for a walk with Jessica. It has become a habit for them to do so after dinner when they’ll stroll down to look at the cows or simply sit under a tree and chat. After what Jack’s told them Jessica’s mind is racing. She hasn’t, as Hester and Meg have done, seen the significance of Jack regaining his inheritance. Her thoughts are consumed by the idea that he will be going away to war and that he will be in danger.

  ‘Jack, can’t you wait to be called up? Joe says they’ll probably have to call the older blokes first. They won’t want the young blokes from the militia going straight away.’

  ‘Nah, Jessie, I’ve got to do my bit. Australians have always volunteered, it’s .. .’ he stops to think a moment then continues, ‘well, it’s the right thing to do, ain’t it?’

  ‘But Joe says the Brits haven’t done all that much for us. He doesn’t see it’s our war. It doesn’t make sense,’

  Jessica says slowly, then she looks up at Jack, her eyes damp with tears. ‘Jack, I’m gunna miss you something terrible.’ A tear now runs down Jessica’s cheek and she tries to laugh, brushing it away impatiently with her fist. Jack reaches out and takes her hand. ‘Jessie, I dunno how to say it, mate.’

  Jessica looks up at Jack, surprised. ‘Say what?’ ‘Well, nothing’s changed since Narrandera. But it’s my duty to fight for my country.’ He pulls Jessica’s hand against his chest. ‘I ain’t much good at saying things, Jessie, but if I come back will you marry me?’

  Jessica bursts into tears, not sure she’s heard Jack correct. ‘What?’ she asks astonished, unable quite to grasp Jack’s words. ‘Marry? You and me?’

  ‘Yeah, I thought, you know after Narrandera and all that .. .’ his voice trails off. ‘You don’t have to, Jack.’

  Jack reaches out and holds her against his chest and pats her clumsily on the back. ‘Jessica I can’t now, not until I come back, I just wanted to .. .’ He does not complete the sentence.

  Jessica pulls away suddenly and looks at him. ‘Oh, Jack, I love you so, I want you, I want your children.’ ‘Hey, steady, girl,’ Jack laughs, then he is suddenly serious. ‘Jessie, that’s just it, ain’t it. I can’t marry you until I get back from the war. What if we had a child and I wasn’t there, and say I was killed — you’d be a widow and the child would have no father, I couldn’t ever do that to you, Jess.’ Jack stands awkwardly in front of Jessica. ‘Will you wait for me, Tea Leaf?’

  Jessica smiles through her tears. ‘Only if you’ll kiss me now, Jack Thomas.’

  Jack takes Jessica in his arms and kisses her and Jessica feels she must surely die if his lips should ever leave hers again.

  Jack pushes her away gently. ‘Shall we go back and tell your parents we are betrothed?’

  Jessica grows suddenly cold. In the excitement of Jack’s joining up she had quite forgotten Meg’s reaction to his announcement about Ada’s fortune and his inheritance of Riverview Station. She now realises she has won the prize and that Hester and Meg will never forgive her. Then as quickly her heart grows cold with fear. Jack might be killed — she might never have him as her own. Then she thinks again of Hester. Her mother will want to make’ the best of it, she will put pressure on Jack to marry her before he goes away. Hester will not want so rich a prize to slip through her fingers.

  ‘No, Jack, I can’t bear to have others think of you as mine until you are returned safely to me. If you will keep your promise, I will keep mine. It must be our secret, our .. .’ Jessica wants to say love but is too shy to use the unfamiliar word. ‘What began at Narrandera, we’ll have again when you get back. Already there are too many tongues wagging. I don’t want to live with people talking about me, about us ... I’ll wait and pray for your safety every day you’re away, I don’t need no ring to remind me of your promise.’

  After Jack has departed all hell breaks loose in the Bergman household. Meg has taken to her bed, weeping, with Hester in attendance. The two of them spend all afternoon together while Jessica and Joe go about the usual Sunday chores. Jessica is just back from milking the cow and enters the kitchen carrying a pail of milk when Hester turns to her and takes the pail. ‘Sit down, Jessica, I want to talk to you.’ Meg is nowhere to be seen and Jessica supposes she is still in bed. How very glad she is that Jack has not made an announcement.

  ‘Jessica, I want you to listen to me now,’ Hester says again and indicates a stool. Jessica realises that her mother must have seen her coming up from the cow paddock and has already placed a mug of tea down on the table for her.

  ‘I ain’t done nothing,’ Jessica says defensively. Hester ignores her protest. ‘It’s about Jack.’ ‘Jack? What about Jack?’ Jessica immediately feels guilty, Hester can’t possibly know.

  ‘About him going away in a week. I don’t want you to see him again.’

  ‘Huh?’ Jessica frowns and looks up at her mother puzzled, ‘Why ever not, Mother?’ Her heart is beginning to beat faster.

  Hester sighs and sits down on the stool beside Jessica. ‘You’re not a fool, Jessica, and you know there are people who think you and Jack, well, after what happened at the courthouse in Narrandera people think .. .’
/>   ‘Think what?’ Jessica interrupts.

  ‘Think that you’ll soon be betrothed.’ Jessica looks down into her lap and bites her bottom lip. She hesitates a moment as she fights back her tears. ‘He’s going to the war, he may be killed,’ she chokes, then looks up tearfully at Hester. ‘But why can’t I see him, he’s my friend?’

  Hester takes Jessica’s small hand and absently examines her broken nails. ‘Because he’s not yours — he’s Meg’s.’

  ‘Meg’s? But I thought ... ?’ Jessica is deeply shocked.

  ‘Well you were wrong, my girl. We were just allowing things to quieten down a bit. Meg was being kind to you. I expect Jack was, too.’

  ‘Kind? What do you mean, kind? What things?’

  ‘Well, after you took Billy Simple in to Narrandera, the doctor at the hospital there said you might have a nervous breakdown, what with everything that happened. He said we should be careful not to upset you.’ ‘What’s a nervous breakdown?’

  ‘It’s something that sometimes happens when you’ve had a bad shock, like the business with Billy Simple.’ ‘What’s it got to do with Jack?’

  ‘Well, he told Jack too,’ Hester lies. ‘Meg and Jack, they were just being kind to you.’

  ‘But Jack .. .’ Jessica exclaims, about to explain, but manages to hold her tongue just in time as Hester holds up her hand and interrupts.

  ‘Jessica, stop imagining things! Jack carrying you when you fainted doesn’t mean anything. Has Jack even held your hand? Has he ever tried to be alone with you when he comes over?’

  ‘Me and Jack .. .’ Jessica bites back the words.

  ‘Well, there you are,’ Hester announces. ‘All he’s been is kind, like the doctor told us, told him and us we should be,’ Hester lies again.

  ‘But I haven’t had a nervous breakdown,’ Jessica protests.

  Hester looks kindly at her youngest daughter, and speaks in a soft, consoling voice. ‘We’re not at all sure about that, Jessica. What about the sickness? In the mornings? The doctor said you could have nightmares, terrible nightmares, and wake up exhausted and feeling ill. Well, isn’t that what’s happened?’

  ‘Mother, what are you saying? Are you saying I’m mad?’

  Hester’s face grows hard. ‘The newspapers think your behaviour at the trial of Billy Simple was very strange, Jessica. They say something must have happened to your mind.’

  ‘But you don’t believe that!’ Jessica cries. ‘What I did was only fair!’

  Hester’s eyes narrow. ‘Being fair to a person that’s murdered three of our dearest friends is a very strange way to behave, even your father thinks that,’ she snaps. ‘They were not my friends! Besides, Father didn’t say that. He said it wouldn’t look good me sticking up for Billy Simple. He didn’t say not to! He didn’t forbid me!’

  Hester, suddenly impatient, clicks her tongue and throws her head back, letting go of Jessica’s hand. ‘I’m sorry, Jessica, things have changed, we can’t afford to mollycoddle you any longer. You have to stay away from Jack Thomas, you hear me, that’s an order.’ She grabs Jessica’s wrist and hisses, ‘Meg has only got a week to get him to marry her.’

  ‘Marry? Meg? But he’s going to the war!’ Jessica howls. ‘He can’t marry anyone.’

  ‘Oh you stupid, stupid girl, he’ll be no bloody use to us dead! You just stay away, you hear me? Stay away from Meg’s man!’

  ‘He’s not her man!’ Jessica howls. ‘He’s mine now, she gave him up, you said so yourself, Mother!’

  Hester can bear no more. ‘Jessica, leave off, you’re not to go near Jack Thomas.’

  ‘But what if he asks me to work at Riverview?’ Jessica begs.

  ‘He’s off to Sydney in a week, he’ll not be needing you. If he does, Joe will tell him you’re not well, which is the truth.’

  Jessica rises from the stool and, with her hands covering her face, she stumbles out of the kitchen into the yard. Hester watches as she walks slowly down to the cow paddock. She can see from the appearance of her shoulders that her youngest daughter is weeping.

  Hester tells herself that Meg is a juicy morsel in any man’s eyes, a feast for a young man’s natural appetites.

  She must now take desperate measures if she is to get Jack for her eldest daughter, for Jack is a shy and awkward young man with little or no experience beyond the women he has grown up with. She and Meg have often enough seen Jack’s hungry eyes wandering over Meg’s bosom and fixing on her trim waist and the still further promise contained in the sweetly curved hips below it. It is time for firm resolve, it’s now or never, time for Meg’s skirt and petticoats to hit the floor so she can claim what’s rightfully hers.

  That evening Hester prepares Meg for the onslaught to come. Hester herself knows little of the methods of seduction but she’s confident that a pretty girl left alone with a randy young man will find a way. Meg, for her part, is equally determined. She has worked long and hard to win Jack Thomas and she’s not going to let him slip through her fingers now. ‘We have just a week for him to make you pregnant, my dear,’ Hester tells her daughter. ‘There is no time to lose.’

  ‘But Mother, what if he doesn’t like me? What if he won’t, you know, do it?’

  Hester looks into the dark eyes of her daughter. ‘He’ll be thinking with what your father calls his trouser snake, my darling,’ she smiles, ‘and trouser snakes, I am told,’ Hester pauses and giggles, ‘are not known for their intelligence!’ Both women are hysterical with laughter.

  Hester plans carefully. She persuades Joe that she’s concerned about Jessica’s recurring sickness and that it is time to take her into Wagga Wagga to see old Dr Merrick, the Heathwood family physician. Thirty years earlier the Heathwoods had quarrelled with Dr Lethbridge in Narrandera and they had taken their business to Wagga, despite the inconvenience of two days’ travel. Joe, who is genuinely concerned for Jessica, readily agrees and it is arranged for the coming Wednesday. Hester herself makes plans to visit old Mrs Baker, a distant cousin and a widow who is the organist at St Stephen’s and is known to be in poor health. Finally, with everything prepared, she sends a note to Jack, giving it to a bullock driver who is passing by Riverview Station.

  Dear Jack,

  I have a great favour to ask of you but the opportunity to do so when you were last here did not arise. It is a small conspiracy and so of a confidential nature and I hope you will indulge an old woman but keep the details to yourself Joe has a bad back which, at the age of seventy two, isn’t getting any better.

  As you well know he is an exceedingly stubborn and proud man and won’t listen to sense, even though Jessie, who has more influence with him than any of us, tries to tell him not to lift heavy things. He still thinks he’s a young lad and as strong as a bull.

  We have recently obtained a wagonload of fence posts, which the timber-getter dumped in the wrong place and these now have to be moved to the north paddock.

  I am most fearful that if Joe performs this task he may damage himself and, of course, Jessica cannot do it alone.

  I was wondering if, on Wednesday afternoon (as late as you like), you could come over and help Jessica load the logs onto the small dray and take them to the right location?

  Joe knows nothing of this and he would kill me if he knew I’d asked you to help him.

  So if you could possibly drop in, pretending you have work for Jessica, and, seeing the pile of logs, ask about them in my presence. I will then explain about them needing to be moved and then, if you’ll offer to help load them, right there in front of Joe? We can offer you little in return, but would be delighted if you would stay for tea. I know Jessica and Meg would like that very much. Yours sincerely,

  Hester Bergman (Mrs).

  It is a crude enough plan but it has the virtue of simplicity and an element of truth. The fence posts do need to be moved and Joe’s back has been troublin
g him sufficiently for Jessica to persuade him to postpone the task for several days.

  The idea is for Jack-to arrive and to be told by Meg that Jessica has been somewhat unwell for some time. Joe, unbeknownst to Hester, has that very morning decided to take her into Wagga to see their family doctor. Furthermore, a message has arrived to say that old Mrs Baker has taken a turn for the worse and Hester has gone over to be with her. The combination of events has, regrettably, made it impossible to get a note over to Riverview Station in time to cancel Jack’s visit. Meg is therefore left behind, alone in the homestead, but she’s made a nice tea and baked an apple pie and she insists Jack stays to eat as originally planned by her mother. The rest, as they say in the classics, should see nature take its course.

  There is usually very little movement on the road to Yanco before sun-up and not a lot after. Occasionally a bullock dray makes an early start to avoid the heat of the day and may be seen trudging its weary-looking way to one of the outlying stations. If such is the case on this particular Thursday early morning, its driver will be puzzled to observe Jack Thomas clattering and clanking on his way home to Riverview Station in his motor car.

  Jack has slept little, with Meg proving to be a most willing partner, keeping him busy until he cries out from exhaustion. It had proved very awkward when Meg first started to be amorous with Jack who was somewhat taken by surprise. He had moved the logs on his own and had returned to the kitchen, where Meg had put out a bottle of stout for him. She’d bade him sit on a small bench at the table and poured the dark, rich liquid into a glass and placed it in front of him, and then she’d sat next to him, her thigh rubbing against his. He tries now to recall the exact sequence of events, his mind back in the Bergman kitchen.

  Jack is unable to move without sliding off the side of the bench. He is nonplussed and brings the glass to his lips to conceal his embarrassment. Now he feels Meg’s hand placed boldly on his thigh.

  He brings the glass down from his lips and places it back on the table.