Measure of Grace

by Al Lacy

She gripped his neck tightly. “Oh, Knight! It … it was so awful! So terrible!”

  Trembling, she clung to him for a moment, then suddenly let go and said, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me for hanging onto you like that. I … I had a horrible nightmare.”

  “You don’t need to apologize,” said Knight, releasing his hold on her. “I could tell you were frightened.”

  Both Mark and William were sitting up, sleepy-eyed.

  “What was the nightmare about, Miss Morrow?” asked Mark.

  Diana swallowed hard, put fingers to her temple and said, “I was dreaming that a man was beating me. Please forgive me, all of you. I’m sorry to have awakened you.”

  “It’s all right,” said William. “You had no control over what you dreamed.”

  “You didn’t wake me up,” said Knight. “I had just put more logs on the fire and was heading back to my bedroll when you cried out and sat up. Do you think you can get back to sleep?”

  “I’m sure I can,” she said. “Thank you.”

  Knight went back to his bedroll, fully aware that the man in Diana’s nightmare was her father.

  In the stillness of the night, Diana lay there, thinking how secure she felt in Knight’s strong arms. No one had ever held her like that before. She thought about how she had felt an attraction to him upon learning that he was a born-again man. His tall frame and good looks didn’t hurt her image of him, either.

  In his bedroll, Knight was thinking about how Diana seemed to belong in his arms. There was just something there that clicked …

  Suddenly, he felt a pang of guilt, and barely whispering, said, “Lord, I’m sorry. Please forgive my thoughts. Even though Diana told me she would not marry Jordan until and unless he became a Christian, I know I shouldn’t desire her for myself.”

  AFTER BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING, both pairs rode out again in opposite directions, agreeing to fire the three successive shots as planned if they found Jordan. They were to meet at noon at a certain spot higher up that Knight and William both knew.

  Once again riding alongside Diana and periodically calling out Jordan’s name, Knight led the search for his friend.

  As they guided their horses up a steep slope through two feet of snow, Knight said, “Sure feels odd not to be going to church today, but I just had to come up here and do what I could to help find Jordan.”

  “Oh, my, this is Sunday, isn’t it?” said Diana. “December 1.”

  “Sure is. Another month and it’ll be 1873.”

  “Hard to believe. Time sure has a way of passing quickly.”

  “Mm-hmm. And they tell me the older you get, the faster it seems to go.”

  “I’ve heard that, too.”

  They reached a temporary plateau, and Knight pulled rein. “Let’s stop here and give the horses a breather.”

  When Diana halted her horse, Knight cupped his hands around his mouth and called out Jordan’s name loudly four times, allowing a few seconds to pass between each one.

  As his voice echoed across the high country, he looked at the lovely brunette and said, “Diana, this nightmare you had last night. Have you had nightmares like it before?”

  “Yes. Many times.”

  “Do you have them often?”

  “About twice a week.”

  “Is it the same nightmare each time?”

  “It varies a little, but it’s always the same man who is beating on me.”

  Knight studied the fear in her eyes. “I believe I know who the man is.”

  Tears surfaced in Diana’s eyes. “You’re right. It’s my father.”

  “Would it help you to talk about it? We need to let the horses catch their breath for a few minutes.”

  Finding her heart reaching toward this kind Christian man, Diana nodded, took a shuddering breath, and sniffled.

  Sliding from his saddle, Knight went to the left side of Diana’s horse, lifted his hands toward her, and helped her down. As her feet sank into the snow, she blinked at the tears. “I didn’t even think about the date as I told you last night about Papa’s threat against me. It just hit me. Papa is out of jail, now. He was released on Thursday.”

  “But you’re here and he’s there,” Knight said, trying to encourage her.

  “Yes, but I’m afraid that in spite of Mama’s determination to keep him from finding out where I am, he will find out and come after me. He said he’d find me, no matter where I went if I ran away. When I left, I felt that as Jordan’s wife, I would be protected from my father if he showed up. But … but now, I’ll not be Jordan’s wife unless he becomes a Christian, and if he doesn’t, I’ll have no protection.”

  Before he knew it, Knight found himself thinking, I’d love to protect you for the rest of your life, sweet girl. Mentally chastising himself for having the thought, he said, “You’re God’s child now, Diana. He will watch over you.”

  “I have much to learn about my new life in Christ, Knight. Right now, I’m so frightened, I don’t think I can stand it. The fear of my father is about to tear me apart.”

  Stepping to his horse and unbuckling a saddlebag, he said, “I keep a Bible in here, as well as in the canvas pack. Let me show you some Scripture verses that will help you.”

  When he had Bible in hand, for a safety measure Knight also slipped his rifle from the boot and said, “Let’s go sit down on this fallen tree over here.”

  Leaning the rifle against the tree, Knight brushed the snow off as best he could and helped Diana sit down. Then sitting down beside her, he opened the Bible and showed her Ephesians 4:7 and 2 Corinthians 12:9, commenting on the measure of grace God gives His born-again children, then took her to James 4:6 and said, “Diana, read this verse to me.”

  Fascinated with what she was learning, Diana focused on the verse. “ ‘But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.’ ”

  Knight looked deep into Diana’s eyes. “We just learned that our heavenly Father gives a measure of grace to His children when they need it, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Now, read me that first sentence in James 4:6 again.”

  Diana looked at the verse. “ ‘But he giveth more grace.’ ”

  “See that, Diana? When the circumstances in a Christian’s life demand a greater measure of grace, our Father gives us more grace.”

  “Oh, Knight,” she said, smiling at him, “that’s beautiful! Thank you for being such a help to me.”

  “My pleasure,” said Knight, closing the Bible. “Keep that in mind, won’t you?”

  “I sure will.”

  Knight stood up. Offering his hand, he said, “We’d better get back to searching for Jordan.”

  When Diana stood up, their eyes locked for a timeless moment.

  In her mind, Diana found herself wishing she could be in Knight’s arms again.

  In Knight’s mind, he found himself wishing he could take her in his arms and kiss her—then silently asked the Lord to forgive him. He lashed himself inwardly, telling himself that Diana was in Idaho because Jordan sent her the money to come with the prospect of becoming his bride.

  They walked to the horses, and Knight put the Bible back in the saddlebag.

  While he was doing so, Diana’s attention was drawn to a huge bald eagle that was making circles in the sky and swooping down near the treetops about a hundred yards away.

  Fastening the buckle, Knight turned and saw Diana staring up the gentle slope. “What are you looking at?” he asked.

  Pointing to the swooping eagle, she said, “I’ve seen pictures of them, but I’ve never actually seen an eagle before.”

  Knight caught sight of the eagle quickly. “They’re a sight to behold, especially when they’re in flight,” he said, taking hold of her arm. “Let’s go over here to the clearing, where you can see him better.”

  He guided her to the nearby clearing, where there were no trees to obstruct their view of the great bird as it continued to circle and make div
es toward the distant treetops.

  Fascinated, they watched the magnificent sight.

  Suddenly both horses ejected shrill whinnies, which were followed instantly by a wild, ferocious roar that came from directly behind Knight and Diana.

  Both of them pivoted at the sound and saw a huge black bear standing on his hind legs some sixty feet away.

  Diana felt her heart lurch in her chest, and her blood curdled at the sight of the beast.

  Knight recognized Ol’ Halfpaw as the bear roared again, angrily waving both forepaws as a means of frightening his intended victims before charging.

  In abject terror, Diana gasped.

  Knight jacked a cartridge into the chamber of the rifle, saying, “We can’t outrun him, Diana. Stand absolutely still.”

  Diana’s mind was a pulsating maze and her breaths were coming in short gulps as Knight stepped in front of her, offering what protection he could from the bear, who was now charging full speed.

  Shouldering the rifle, Knight took careful aim, knowing he would have to be dead accurate for Diana’s sake as well as his own. The black beast was within thirty feet when Knight squeezed the trigger. The rifle barked, sending a sharp, echoing sound over the mountains.

  Ol’ Halfpaw went down into the snow with the slug dead center between his eyes. He released a death roar and struggled to get up. Looking over Knight’s shoulder, Diana screamed as he worked the lever again, took aim, and drilled another slug into the bear’s head. Ol’ Halfpaw dropped lifelessly into the snow.

  Diana was trembling. Knight put his free arm around her, squeezed tight, and said, “It’s over. He’s dead.”

  Pressing her head to his chest, Diana clung to him until the terror of the experience subsided. When they let go of each other, Diana eyed the beast warily, then looked up into Knight’s eyes. “You placed yourself between me and that charging bear. Thank you.”

  Knight found himself wanting to say he would like to be her protector, but kept it to himself, and silently asked the Lord to forgive him once more for feeling that way. Taking her hand, he led her to the spot where the bear lay and showed her the damaged forepaw, telling her that one time when he and Jordan were hunting together, the bear had appeared at a close range, and Jordan had shot the forepaw while trying to hit him with a lethal shot.

  Then he said, “Let’s get back to the horses.”

  Just as they drew near the horses, Knight and Diana saw William and Mark riding toward them. William said, “We’re glad to see that you’re all right. We heard one shot, then after a few seconds, another one. It wasn’t the signal, but we had to come and see if you were okay.”

  Knight pointed at the dead bear lying in the snow. “That big boy came after us. I had to drop him. He’s the same bear that Jordan shot in the right forepaw one time when we were hunting together. He’s missing two claws. We saw his tracks a time or two after that. They were easily identifiable. Jordan dubbed him Ol’ Halfpaw.”

  “He never told us about it,” said William. “Well, now that we know you two are all right, we’ll get back to our task.”

  Both pair resumed their search.

  At noon, they met at the agreed spot and ate lunch. They were discouraged that there had been no sign of Jordan, but were determined to keep searching until they found him.

  As Knight and Diana rode together, they traded questions and answers about their lives. Jordan Shaw, though absent, stood between them.

  Darkness was falling that evening when Knight and Diana arrived at the cabin. He built a fire in the fireplace, and as they sat close to each other to gain warmth from the flames, Knight drank in Diana’s beauty as the flickering shadows danced on her lovely face.

  They were sitting silently, when Diana said, “Knight, those two letters you wrote for Jordan …”

  “Yes?”

  “I have to tell you that it was the spirit of those letters that told me I could fall in love with Jordan when I met him. I was so surprised when I learned that it was you who had written them.”

  Knight let a grin curve his lips. “Well,” he said, “Jordan basically told me what to say. I just put it in words and phrases that sounded best to me.”

  Diana warmed him with a smile. “Well, you did a beautiful job.”

  He grinned again. “Thanks.”

  As the flickering shadows continued to highlight her loveliness, Knight Colburn was fighting a battle in his heart. He knew he was falling in love with Diana, but felt he was betraying Jordan. In his heart, he told the Lord they must find Jordan soon. The longer he was in Diana’s presence, the stronger he felt about her.

  Unknown to Knight, the identical battle was going on inside Diana. Even though she had only known this wonderful man since yesterday, she had fallen in love with him. Lord, can love be limited by time? I’ve only known him two days, but I feel like I’ve known him all my life. I know he likes me, Lord, and I think he could learn to love me, given the chance. But … but what about Jordan? It was his ad I answered, not Knight’s. But Knight is a Christian—

  Diana’s silent talk with the Lord was interrupted by the arrival of William and Mark.

  Supper was eaten, with a discouraged William about to give up hope of finding his son. Knight, Mark, and Diana tried to encourage him, saying maybe they would find him tomorrow.

  On Monday morning, December 2, in Richmond, Virginia, Chief Perry unlocked Stu Morrow’s cell door while men in the other cells looked on. “You could have been out on Thursday if you hadn’t mouthed off to Deputy Barnes, Morrow. I hope you learn to control that temper before it really gets you into trouble.”

  Stu glared at him in silence.

  “Two things before you go.”

  Stu looked him square in the eye, waiting.

  “Number one, you’d better pay Tom Wymore’s hospital and medical bills, or you’ll be right back in here. Understand?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And number two, if you beat on any member of your family again, I guarantee you’ll get no less than five years in the Virginia State Prison. Got it?”

  Stu nodded glumly. “Yeah. I got it.”

  “Let me make sure you understand,” said Perry, his lips drawn into a thin line. “Next time you beat on your wife, she won’t have to press charges. I know the reason she didn’t do it this time is because she’s scared to death of you. Well, next time it’ll be different. You are now on record with this office for what you did. You so much as lay a hand on her and it’s off to prison. If she tells us you have gone beyond reasonable discipline of your children, it’s off to prison. Is this sinking in?”

  Stu nodded. “Yeah.”

  “All right. Before you go home, you go to the hospital and to Tom’s doctor and make arrangements to pay them. I want to see it on paper today. Any questions?”

  “No.”

  “All right. Go.”

  Stu Morrow walked out of the jail into the crisp December air and headed for the hospital. An hour later, he entered the police building and handed Chief Perry the necessary papers to prove that he had made arrangements with the hospital and the doctor to pay them over an agreed period of time.

  The sunny kitchen of the Morrow house was scented with the savory fragrance of yeast as Martha took four loaves of hot bread out of the oven one at a time with her good hand, and set them on the cupboard to cool.

  There was a prickling at the back of her mind as she covered the loaves with clean cloths. Martha was aware that her husband was to be released from jail that morning. As she worked about the kitchen with little Dennis observing, her ears were attuned to the sound of Stu’s imminent arrival. He would be walking from town.

  Nervously, she glanced at the clock on the wall. 10:20.

  Dennis was playing on the floor with a small hand-carved horse that Shamus O’Hearn had made him, and knowing that his father was to come home today, was full of questions. Martha tried valiantly to follow his train of thought and answered them as best she could.

  Also at
the front of her mind was Diana. She had told herself upon waking that morning that certainly a letter would arrive at the O’Hearn place for her in a few more days.

  Suddenly Martha’s heart leaped in her chest when she heard the front door open and Stu’s big voice bellowing, “Martha, I’m home!”

  Dennis’s head came up, and fear showed in his eyes. Leaving the wooden horse on the floor, he rushed to his mother, wrapped his arms around her legs, and hid his face in her apron. She nervously adjusted the cast in its sling, then lay her good hand on the child’s trembling shoulder. While heavy footsteps were heard in the hall, Dennis peeked up and saw the terror in his mother’s eyes, then quickly pressed his face into her apron again.

  Martha patted his shoulder. “It’s all right, honey,” she said, “Papa isn’t going to hurt you.”

  Dennis gripped her tighter, keeping his face hidden.

  When Stu came into the kitchen, he looked at Martha, then at Dennis, then back at Martha and snapped, “Why didn’t you come and see me while I was in jail?”

  She met his gaze, but did not answer.

  Stu huffed and shook his head. “I suppose Derick, Deborah, and Daniel are in school.”

  “They are.”

  Stu looked around. “Where’s Diana?”

  Martha swallowed with difficulty. “She isn’t here.”

  “Where is she?”

  Squaring her shoulders, Martha said evenly, “I can’t tell you.”

  A deep scowl bent Stu’s face. “What do you mean you can’t tell me? Don’t you know where she is?”

  Martha cleared her throat nervously, asking the Lord in her heart for protection. “What I mean is—I won’t tell you. Diana has her own life to live, and you are not going to interfere.”

  The huge man’s features flushed. He stepped closer to her while a terrified Dennis clung to her legs. “You tell me where she is, or I’ll beat it out of you!”

  “I happen to know that Chief Perry warned you what would happen if you ever beat me or one of my children again. It’ll be a lengthy sentence in state prison, Stu. Is that what you want?”

  “How do you know what he told me?”