Cid (Cid Garrett P.I. Book 1)

by Alexie Aaron

  “Still freaked out. Can’t fix crazy,” he said and turned up the radio.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cid and Kiki lowered the casket out of the window. Jesse stood below, giving them instructions. Faye flittered somewhere between. She was on the watch for Grumpy Pants. She didn’t want him to take advantage of the situation and attack the living while they were distracted.

  Jesse unhooked the rope and watched as Cid and Kiki dismantled the pulley and closed the window. He waited until they joined him before he and Cid lowered the casket into the prepared grave.

  “Here lies Gwen Anne Oster,” Cid began. “She lost her love in the war, her child, and then her sanity. Judge not her life, and take mercy on her soul, Amen.”

  They began to fill the grave, being careful to reinstate the underlayment the landscapers had put down. When the task was completed, Kiki put a bouquet of wildflowers on top. “Just until they pave this. Above her, I will have them place this stone.” Kiki opened up the box to show Cid and Jesse the engraved stone. It said simply Gwen.

  Cid felt a tingling on his arm. He turned and there stood Faye. She was dressed in black and had a veil over her face. “Gwen is standing over there,” Faye said and pointed to the edge of the patio.

  “Kiki, Jesse, look,” Cid said.

  The two turned to see a distortion that morphed into a young woman. Her long hair looked freshly brushed and her nightgown white as snow. “Thank you,” she said and looked upwards and disappeared.

  “What happened?” Cid asked Faye.

  “Her light came for her.”

  “You could have hitched a ride,” Cid said.

  “Now you tell me!” Faye said and stomped off.

  “She’s a prize,” Kiki commented.

  “I don’t know, I kind of like having her around. Like a little sister or something,” Jesse said.

  “Says he who was raised as an only child,” Cid scoffed and walked in the house.

  “Clark and his sister really do not get along,” Kiki said.

  “She’s a narcissistic, selfish bitch,” Jesse confided.

  “How did he turn out so kind?”

  “Parents were alright. They tried to save him from the perpetual nerdom he had fallen into, but it turns out that they were wrong. He loves being a nerd.”

  “Everybody has to find their own path,” Kiki said.

  ~

  Cid washed his hands, thinking. When the road crew was finished and he could once again escape Hidden Meadow, he was going to take his day off and go back to the farm for a day. It was a long drive, but he was homesick. He missed being around the people who accepted him for who he was. Kiki was nice, but she was no Mia. And Jesse was a bit grating after a while.

  Cid pulled out the makings for tonight’s supper. He needed to marinate the meat and start the rolls. Mia had taught him a few shortcuts in making yeast rolls. He smiled thinking that she probably resembled a roll about now.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Kiki asked, walking in the kitchen.

  “I’m just remembering this recipe,” Cid lied.

  “I don’t know how you can remember recipes.”

  “Sometimes it’s just the differences that I remember. Like these rolls. Watch. If you put sugar in the bowl with the yeast and warm water…”

  “Look at those suckers go!” Kiki said.

  “This cuts down on the rising time as the yeast is already active.”

  “Huh. Chemistry at work.”

  “Cooking and baking is chemistry. We’re changing the molecules. Making some move faster and charring the hell out of others. But we call it caramelizing.”

  Kiki laughed.

  “When this road is finished and the gang is back, would you mind if I used my day off?”

  “Nope. What are you going to do?”

  “Go home to the farm.”

  “Take three days then. Two for travel.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. You’re looking a bit pinched, Clark. Get your mojo back.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  Jesse walked in and smacked Cid on the butt. “What’s cookin’, sweetheart?”

  Kiki hid her face behind her hands. It was so wrong, it was right.

  “I feel so cheap,” Cid countered.

  The lights flickered briefly before the room was plunged into darkness.

  Cid and Jesse heard Kiki screaming. By the time they found a flashlight, Kiki was gone. There were drag marks from her black rubber-soled boots on the kitchen and hall floor. The front door was standing open, and Cid heard Kiki’s screams continuing down the hillside.

  Kiki fought the icy cold hands that dug into her sides. She continued to scream, hoping that Cid and Jesse could find her. “Let go of me, you lame excuse for a spirit!” She dug in her pocket and produced the saltshaker. She blasted a handful to where she thought the creature was.

  It screamed and dropped her. Kiki continued to tumble down the newly excavated hillside, landing face down in a pile of mulch. She rose, spitting out the manure-infused cedar chips. She could hear the whining of the salted ghost. “What the fuck is your problem with me?” she asked, loading up another handful of salt.

  “Noise, so much noise!” it howled.

  “Why is killing me going to give you any peace? I’m going to haunt you with a blow horn in my hand, buddy.”

  Cid came flying down the hillside. He twisted around and drew a salt ring around them both. “Where is he?”

  “Somewhere over there.” Kiki pointed to the bushes. “I gave him a blast of salt.”

  Cid heard the whimpering in the bushes. He hoped that the ghost would give up. “I’ve narrowed it down to two people. One is Kip’s brother Barney. He was perpetually drunk. Gin drunk. Evidently, the hangover is worse when drinking gin. And the other is Kip’s son Jerald. He suffered from migraine headaches.”

  “Why these two?”

  “They disappeared without a trace. Both resemble the footless man in the photo.”

  “What do we do?” Kiki asked, wiping her face with the handkerchief Cid handed her.

  “Jesse is bringing my go bag. We need to wait out the ghost here.”

  “I mean, what do we do about this ghost?”

  “We need to find his bones.”

  “My money’s on the stairs,” Kiki said. “We didn’t need to do any renovation on them, they were in such good repair. I’m betting my last shred of dignity that Barney or Jerald got stuck in the stairway or the wall adjacent, where he’s been known to hangout.”

  “Incoming!” Jesse shouted as he bounced his way down the hillside in Cid’s climbing gear.

  He tossed Cid the black backpack.

  “Mia has this sawed-off shotgun that shoots rock salt,” Cid said. “But it does tend to tear up the wallpaper. I have this,” Cid pulled out a giant squirt gun that he’d loaded with holy water. He sprayed the bushes until he heard the ghost howl in protest. “Get the hell out of here or I’ll do worse,” he ordered.

  The absolute silence convinced Cid that the ghost had left. The insects returned to their mating songs, and the birds to their discussion on what was going on with those noisy humans. Cid turned and said, “You may leave the circle, Kiki.”

  Kiki looked at the climb back and shook her head. “Couldn’t we just leave? Go to Hawaii where all ghosts are lusty Polynesian gods?”

  Jesse put his hand on her forehead. “Damn, if she didn’t catch Dontwannagobacktowork fever.”

  “I had that once,” Cid said. “I was convinced I wanted to become a monk. And then I got the plebe monk work list. It straightened me out and scared the Catholic right out of me.”

  “Itchy brown robes and no sex. Nope, not for me,” Jesse said.

  “Virgil is going to freak when he sees what we did to his hill,” Kiki said.

  “It’s going to rain tonight. It will smooth out the Kiki marks,” Cid said. “Come on. If we go about thirty feet that way, we can take what’s left of the old drive back
up.”

  “It’s getting dark.”

  “It’s the rain coming,” Cid said. “Mia says never to be out when the front first makes its way across the prairie or you will get picked up by the Wanderers.”

  “This Mia is giving me the creeps. I’m going to cancel my order for a Mia when I get back to my laptop,” Jesse assured Cid.

  “My granny says that the rain coming in from the ocean will drag you with it across the continent if you’re not paying attention,” Kiki told them.

  “Seems to me it’s the same story, sort of,” Jesse said. “Come on, I’ll race you up. Loser has to do Cid’s dishes.”

  Cid watched the two start running. They lasted fifty yards and then ran in bursts until they had nothing left. Cid picked Kiki up off the ground, threw her over his shoulder and continued to climb.

  Jesse followed, bitching about high-altitude sickness and how his Timberlands weren’t made for running.

  “Cid, you can let me down now,” Kiki said.

  “Nope.”

  “This is a side of you I haven’t seen,” Kiki said, looking down at his behind. “Oh wait, I’ve seen it right side up.”

  “Kiki, shut up,” Jesse said.

  ~

  Cid’s meal was devoured. There was nothing left to save. The trio had taken their wine glasses into the soon-to-be-gutted men’s lounge, where Cid had put together quite a fire.

  “Damn, if I didn’t do a quality job on cleaning out and re-bricking that chimney,” Jesse complimented himself. “It drafts perfectly.”

  Cid lifted his glass. “To Jesse’s chimney.”

  “Here here,” Kiki added. “I’m going to be so sore in the morning.”

  “Rolling down a mini mountain does that to folks,” Cid said.

  “How come you’re so fit?”

  “Paranormal investigations. Ghost wrangling is not for the unfit. Ghosts move six times faster than humans. You have to be on the ball and ready to flee at any moment.”

  “What was your most difficult case?” Jesse asked.

  “The first case, when I was more of a victim. It was hard, but understandable, considering the whole new set of variables I had to deal with while half blind. Most difficult? I think it was any time I was left in the command truck alone and had to listen and watch while my team fought their way out of danger.”

  “So you’re better when you’re a hands-on investigator?”

  “Better isn’t exactly the word. I feel more in control while in the midst of chaos.”

  “Good answer. You’d make a great elementary school teacher,” Kiki said. “You’re a lot like my sister in that respect.”

  “How are you and your sister different?” Cid asked.

  “Nurture. She’s more nurturing. I’m harder. I need the spotlight, while Mimi isn’t bothered one way or the other. She gets plenty of attention but doesn’t need it to validate herself. She was born comfortable in her skin. Mine still itches like a wool suit.”

  “I can see that,” Jesse said.

  “That’s right, you’ve met her.”

  “Briefly.”

  “Time to turn the spotlight on you, Jesse,” Cid warned. “What to ask you?”

  “I’ve got it,” Kiki said. “Why no Mrs. Scrub yet? I figure a handsome guy like you would be working on your third marriage by now.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “It’s because I am who I am that I never did get married. I fell hard once on spring break in college. I ended up not going back to school and spent two blissful weeks together with someone who couldn’t let go of her previous relationship. I risked my heart, my education, and my reputation on her. Gave her everything. Held nothing back. But when it came time to speak about happy ever after, she looked at me as if I were speaking a different language. She was happy in the limbo she was living in.”

  “Do you still love her?” Kiki asked softly.

  “Yes. But she’s bad for me. She isn’t going to change. There is no future there.”

  “Ouch,” Cid said. “History repeating itself. You need to let go of her.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Now if you dated a ghost in a computer, you would have no problems,” Kiki said dryly. “No commitment issues. Totally normal.”

  It took the men a minute to pick up that she was joking. Cid shook his head and started to laugh. Jesse joined in.

  Faye looked in at the three and wondered how long they had been friends. She had never seen three people more at ease with each other.

  Grumpy Pants oozed in under the front door. Faye almost helped him up the stairs; she actually felt sorry for the murderous bastard.

  When the group broke up, she followed Cid around the house.

  “Cid, I remembered something.”

  Cid turned and gave the little ghost his full attention. “Go on, Faye, I’m listening.”

  “I used to be quite a flirt. I had all the boys dancing my attendance, and then the war came and those damn Yankees…”

  “Yankees, you are aware you aren’t south of the Mason-Dixon line, Faye?”

  “No.”

  “What’s the name of this house?”

  “Tara.”

  “Oh dear,” Cid said and closed his eyes a moment. When he opened them, Faye was but two feet from him. He looked down at her and said, “Faye, did you ever read Gone with the Wind?”

  “Why yes… Oh… How embarrassing.”

  “Faye, I want you to listen to me. We will find your missing pieces. Keep on telling me your memories, and we’ll sort them out together.”

  “I feel like such a stupid head. Me, who graduated the top in my class, stuck with stupid fictions instead of memories.”

  “Wait, what did you just say?”

  “Stupid head.”

  “No, after that.”

  “I graduated the top in my class… OH! I’m educated.”

  “I think, from your reading list, you’ve had more than an eighth grade education.”

  “I could have gone to college, couldn’t I have?”

  “Yes, that would help us in finding you. Not many female college grads in the time period of this house. I’ll make sure Jake adds this to his search list.”

  “Oh thank you!” Faye said and danced around. “Oh, I almost forgot, Grumpy Pants is back. He crawled up the stairs while you three were talking.”

  “Thank you for the information. You’re the best ghost scout I know.”

  “Hey, you don’t know many ghost scouts, do you?”

  Cid just smiled and bowed to Faye.

  She giggled and faded away.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Are you sure you want to do this now? We can wait until the road is clear, and I can get us the use of a wall x-ray,” Cid said.

  “The wall can be patched, and the landing, well, it will never be the same, but the decorator is going to put in carpeting,” Kiki reasoned, more for her benefit than the men waiting.

  Cid started on lifting the floorboards while Jesse opened up the wall. They worked fast, knowing that at any moment the ghost could return and attack them when they were most vulnerable. Kiki stood armed with the squirt gun.

  “Found him!” Cid and Jesse chorused.

  Kiki looked from one to the other. Jesse was standing with a half-exposed mummified man in the wall, while Cid had uncovered another one lying down in the footings of the landing.

  “Two?” Kiki said and resisted the urge to cry in frustration. “What is this, a charnel house? Who is who?”

  “This one has a sign hanging around his neck,” Jesse said. “It says, Adult. That’s pretty lame. Wait, there’s more,” he said as he brushed the spiderwebs off the wood plaque. “Adult… adultery... no…adulterer!”

  “This one is resting similar to how we found Gwen. His arms are crossed, but his neck is broken. Kiki, I think this is the guy who was hanging in the morning room. He has a box too.” Cid gently lifted the box out and handed it to Kiki
.

  Kiki opened it, and inside, she found a journal and a pack of pictures. She opened the journal and read, “Jerald Archer.”

  Cid got up and helped to support the adulterer while Jesse finished liberating the corpse from the wall. Together they eased the body to the floor, setting it on the canvas tarp that Jesse had for keeping the falling plaster from scratching the wood floor. Jesse got up and opened the space wider and found a vintage revolver. “I think this is the means of execution.”

  “Did these people not believe in graveyards?” Kiki asked. “They have all that ground out there. Hell, there’s a well with four bodies already in it!” she said a bit too loudly. Feeling a bit of hysteria building, she stopped and took a few long slow breaths.

  “Could be it was winter,” Cid said. “But I think all these hidden bodies were from either shame or some other need to keep secrets.”

  “I’m going to have to call the cops, aren’t I?” Kiki asked them.

  “That’s up to you,” Cid said. “If we do, then we’ll have to explain what we did with Gwen and the well.”

  “Shit, I’ll never work again,” Kiki said.

  “Why not bury Jerald someplace quiet,” Faye suggested.

  The three looked at the ghost.

  Kiki spoke, “There is a spot that the landscapers have just planted. It’s quiet and scenic. You can see the lake from there, and no one is going to uproot that expensive Chinese maple.”

  “What about the adulterer?” Jesse asked.

  “He’s my father,” Jerald’s hoarse voice said from behind them. “Barney Archer. He and my mother Suze produced me.”

  “Who executed him?” Jesse asked.

  “I did.”

  “You killed your own father?”

  “Why did you kill him?” Cid asked.

  “He was always moaning about his headaches. Shouting and stumbling around drunk. I couldn’t stand it anymore. The pain. I asked my mother to make him leave. She said, ‘Leave your father alone.’ She put her hand over her mouth as if she realized what she had just said. I realized that his pain was my pain. They weren’t hangovers but migraines. He used the booze to try to kill the pain.”