Don't Hate the Player

by Brandie

  Goldie sucked his teeth and walked off. “Hoes always fronting.”

  “Ehhhhhh,” I said as Goldie walked away. “Thank you for lending yourself to me.”

  “No problem, beautiful.” We looked at each other up and down. He was wearing a nice black DADA sweater with some black pants that fit nice on his derriere and some Perry Ellis shoes that I’d been eyeing for Chinoe. My two-piece crème halter and hugging skirt to match made us look like the perfect couple.

  Staring at my outfit, he remarked, “How is that top holding on to you—with those dental floss strings?”

  I rolled my eyes. This was just another horn-dog on the prowl.

  “Don’t get me wrong, it looks good, looks damn good.”

  “Brandie.” Extending my hand, giving him another chance, I relented.

  Meeting my hand, he said, “Jason.”

  “Hunh?” The loud music drowned him out.

  “Jason.”

  “Oh, nice to meet you. Thanks again for saving me from Goldie.”

  “Anytime, anytime, hey, isn’t your name Miss Delite?”

  I was about to run to the bathroom, but I didn’t want to seem like I was ashamed of what I chose to do for a living.

  “Yes, but that’s my stage name.”

  “No offense, but you bad as hell.” Holding his hands up like he was under arrest, “That’s all I’m going to say on that subject. Where you sitting, can I join you?”

  “I . . . I—”

  “If you wit’ your man I’ll understand.”

  “No, no, it’s not that. Let me run to the bathroom.”

  After I checked myself out in the mirror, we sat and talked for about an hour. I told him about Chinoe and everything that had been happening. I don’t know why I told him all my business, but he made me feel so comfortable, he was easy to talk to, a good listener.

  As he finished his drink, a slim sister with baby doll curls and glasses walked up behind him. She stood with one hand on her hip, and turned up lips. I stared at her as she stared back at me.

  “What’s up beautiful, checking out another prospect?” Jason asked me.

  I let go of a glamour girl smile that was sure to piss curly que off.

  “What the fuck is this?” the ghetto girl shouted.

  “Damn!” He slammed his glass on the counter and didn’t turn around to greet her.

  “Brandie, you wanna dance?”

  “Look, I don’t want no shit I’ve been through enough drama to last me a life time.” I held my hands out to stop him.

  “You right ho, you don’t won’t no shit.” She walked in between us and stood in his face.

  I knew she was mad at Jason, taking it out on me, but I still had shit on my chest, so I vented by fucking with her mind. “Yo’ man seem to be liking this ho,” I responded, popping my lips.

  “Bitch, please,” putting her hand in my face. “You can buy this ho drinks but you can’t buy your daughter no winter coat? Trifling ass.” She slapped the glass that he was holding, out of his hand.

  “Keonia get out of my face and take yo’ ass home. Damn, you make me sick. Always trying to start shit, but not this time.” He pushed her to the side just as Jay-Z’s, “Sunshine” came on.

  “Oooh, I love that song.” I was ignoring both of them.

  Jason snatched my hand, “Good, come on.” We made it to the dance floor without me having to go to blows with her. As we danced, she was sitting in his seat pouring salt into my full, fifteen-dollar drink.

  “You have to excuse that girl. She a little crazy.”

  “Yeah, about you. Why you treating her like that?” Shaking my head, “Cutie pies like you always have that type of drama.”

  As I turned around, looking down at the floor, pushing my butt into him, I felt someone standing right in front of me. “You look like the ho that you are.”

  When I raised my head, I met Chinoe’s breath, smelling like hard liquor. I quickly turned back around, embarrassed, but I could still feel him there. My heart was beating a mile a minute, scared of the foolishness he was about to cause.

  “Take yo’ muthafuckin’ ass home, wit’ that ho shit on.” He screamed over the music, in slurred speech.

  My eyes started searching the room for Money or Taeko. I knew one of them was with him and would be the only one to make him not cause a scene.

  He got closer to my ear, “Did you hear what I said?”

  I kept dancing, trying to ignore him until I could spot Money or Taeko. Chinoe was drunk and I knew he was going to act out. I didn’t see Caymin anywhere either.

  “Brandie,” he screamed loud enough for people to take notice, “Or would you prefer me to call you Miss Delite?” He started laughing loud. “You ain’t shit!”

  “I take it this is Chinoe?” Jason asked.”

  I was so embarrassed. I wanted to be back in the bathroom digging into the bottom of my purse for change to give to the bathroom attendant, so she’d stop trying to sell me shit that a normal person should have used before they left to come to the club.

  “Turn around when I’m talking to you.”

  Before I could get up any kind of nerve, he was behind Jason with his cup above his head threatening to pour it on him. “Ok, ok, Chinoe.”

  When I turned to face him he was looking at me up and down like I disgusted him. “Man, go home and put on some decent clothes.”

  Talking to Jason, “Nigga, if you like hoes, you’ll love this one.” Pointing at me.

  “Chinoe, I’m through with this type of shit, leave me alone!” I screamed, finally getting mad instead of being scared.

  “Fuck you,” throwing his drink on me. This was the third time he’d embarrassed the shit out of me. “Now you don’t have a choice but to take yo’ raggedy ass home.” Smiling as he walked off.

  Jason’s baby mama was clapping and yelling, “That’s what cha get, ho, for messin’ with other peoples’ men. Slimy bitch!”

  Chapter Sixty-Nine

  Brandie

  The ride home was even worse. Caymin wanted me to retell the whole awful story.

  “Girl, you crazy ’cause I would have stole his ass.”

  “You would have did exactly what I did, got your shit and left.”

  She looked out the window like she was remembering something.

  “Caymin, are you mad at me for going with Chinoe?”

  She quickly answered, “Oh, naw, girl, naw.” I knew that really meant yeah. Silence fell upon us.

  “I won’t be mad if you tell me the truth.”

  “Umph, umm.”

  My anger had reached its boiling point, and somebody was going to pay. “Are you sure?” Come on, bitch. I know you still wanna have ’im.”

  She faced the window. “Yeah, it does bother me that he treats you like I cried for him to treat me. I was truly in love with him not because he fine as hell and has the perfect skin, teeth, and hair, but because he is beautiful and intelligent on the inside.” She wiped uncontrollable tears. “I thought I would be with him forever but things didn’t work out.

  Neither she nor he told me what had happened to them. “So why did ya’ll break up if he was so wonderful?”

  She turned back to the window for support, “I’d rather not talk about it. He’s in love with you now, so why dwell in the past?”

  “I do love him, Caymin. I love him deep down in my soul. I want to be with him once he calms down and becomes himself again. Every man I have ever dated has turned pussy on me. If I could have been Tupac’s wife I would have had no problems. I would be his perfect women and he my perfect man. Thuggish, roughish, smooth, sexy, intelligent, soft, hard, all of the above and then more than I could handle.”

  “Yeah, I think he was every woman’s fantasy.”

  “And Chinoe is your . . .”

  “My what?”

  “Never mind. That was in the past, so why dwell on it?”

  “Oh, you wanna play games now?” She pursed her lips. “Look, Brandie, you got Chin
oe, so it doesn’t matter. You were his first for everything.”

  I knew that he cared a great deal for her once, so I had just as much to loose from the whole deal. I needed to know if there was space for reconciliation.

  “So do you still love him?”

  Sighing as if it was a ridiculous question, “I’m with Robert.”

  “For what?”

  She turned and looked at me but nothing came out of her mouth.

  “Money, to pass time; loneliness? Caymin, I’ve done them all so which one does Robert posses over you, ’cause it’s certainly not love?”

  The truth began to surface and I wanted it signed, sealed, and delivered. “You know Caymin, I’ve been wondering about our friendship a lot lately. When I told you about that shit with Cartel, you were still more concerned about how Chinoe felt, than how I was feeling.”

  “That’s expected, he was my friend for a long time, before you.”

  “So admit it, you still love him.” I don’t know why I was badgering her like this. My suspicion was turning in to hostility because I needed to vent my anger on someone.

  “Why, Brandie? Why does it matter? I’m not the one he wants.”

  “How do you know?”

  “What?” Staring at me through squinted eyes, she said, “Just get me home cause you trippin’.” She paused for a second then positioned herself in the seat like she was ready for a tongue battle, “Your man, huh? Was he your man when you fucked Cartel or Hunt or what about Sean? Where does he fit in?”

  “Bitch you must be silly talking to me like that. You got some nerve talking about who I fucked, Dun don’t sound like Robert to me, the one you singing about being with. And now to think about it, you probably the one who told him about them anyway.”

  “What? Ho, pleazz. You must be dizzy! You don’t even know the half.”

  “Know what? That you trifling!” I slowed down. She was going to tell me why they broke up and if she still wanted to be with him.

  “Brandie, you wanna know why we broke up?”

  “Yeah, why?” My voice towered over hers.

  “Because of you! All because of you! You worrying about me being the man stealer, and you the one that did it to me.”

  “What are you talking about? Ya’ll broke up way before me and him got together.”

  “But he wanted you long before ya’ll got together. I couldn’t compete with a fantasy woman. After he saw you in the mall, you was all he thought about. You consumed his thoughts; you motivated his heart. He wouldn’t even sleep with me because he was waiting for you. Destiny, Brandie. He slept with you because of who you were, everything he ever wanted, obviously everything I lacked.”

  “Ahh, Caymin.”

  “Naw fuck that. Listen, you wanted to know. I couldn’t win a competition with a nonparticipating competitor. When I gave Chinoe head it was you that he thought about. He finally admitted that he was in love with a woman that delighted his life and he hadn’t even touched or smelled her. How could I win that battle, Brandie?”

  I pulled into her driveway, my eyes filled with tears. She jumped out the car before it completely stopped. I didn’t know how to say I was sorry.

  * * *

  As I drove home my cell phone started ringing off the hook. I didn’t bother looking at the number because I didn’t care who it was.

  My first thought was to drive by Chinoe’s, but what would be the point? I needed comforting.

  As I pulled into my drive way I saw a shadow on my steps. I locked my doors and grabbed my phone. Cracking my window, yelling, “Hey whoever you are go away or I’m calling the police.”

  I looked around to make sure I didn’t over look a car.

  “Ooh, shit.” Chinoe’s face met mine on the other side of the window, “What are you doing out here?” I still had my window cracked.

  “Trying to see you. Come on out and let’s talk.”

  “Blow your breath into the crack.”

  “What?” He asked like I was speaking foreign.

  “Blow your breath into the window.”

  “It’s chilly out here, Brandie. Come on.”

  “You come on. Breathe, please.”

  “What, you the po-po now?” He blew his sweet smelling breath into the crack of the window.

  I got out of the car and we just looked at each other for a few minutes. “Sorry about that.” He pointed at the big cranberry stain on my suit, which resembled the sun.

  “Ahh, damn, Chinoe. Cranberry juice? I didn’t even look at what it was.”

  He followed me, listening to me cuss about my suit all the way into the house.

  I started taking off my clothes as I walked up the steps and he was right on my heels. I left the radio on, ‘Gotta Be” by Jagged Edge greeted us as we reached the bathroom. Moving so fast, I reacted before I thought, taking all my clothes off in front of him.

  “Will you give me a towel please?”

  He shook his head no and stared at me like a dessert he’d been having a sweet tooth for.

  “Please, Chinoe,” I said, a slight smile on my lips.

  “No. Run some water.”

  I should have been scared, escorting him to the front door, but I was turned on by the tone of his voice and the determination of his stance. I stood still for a minute, admiring his whole person. He sounded like the Chinoe I met that night in a dark windowless room.

  Chapter Seventy

  Chocolate

  As we sat in the water surrounded by darkness, I massaged her feet.

  “Why have you been acting so crazy lately?”

  I didn’t want her to talk. I just wanted to remember the first time I met her and didn’t know her name or face or how she felt on the inside.

  “Chinoe, please say something to me.”

  I let silence be my game of choice.

  “So you aren’t going to talk to me?” Splashing water into my face. “Shit, you the one that choked the shit out of me and threw a drink on me at the club in the middle of the floor while you called me hoes and shit.” She snatched her foot out of my hand.

  She was making it sound worse than what it really was.

  “Fuck this shit, get out!” She jumped up, but I grabbed her by her hips and pulled her back into the tub.

  “Brandie, I’m sorry. Sorry for acting the way I did, but you got to understand I did it out of . . .” Stopping myself, I was sounding like a wife beater trying to make his wife believe he won’t hit her again. “Look, I saw you and fell in love with you before I met you. I gave you my virginity and didn’t know that you were the woman I was already lusting after. It all fell into place. And I guess I took destiny, ran with it to ecstasy, trying to make it eternity. I couldn’t allow myself to fall in love with no one else after I saw you. You were perfect. I know I failed you and me, but I . . . I don’t know, Brandie, I just love you, girl.”

  “So why did you put your hands on me, to hurt me?”

  “I overreacted, love took over my heart, and anger took over my hands. I have no excuse to ever lay my hands on you. Hold on, I got something for you.” I got out of the tub and put on ‘R U Still Down’ by Jon B featuring TuPac.

  “Chinoe . . .”

  “Shhh, listen to every word.”

  Pulling her closer into my chest from her waist, smelling her sweet hair, touching her soft skin, holding her feminine fingers in my hungry hands; hungry for all her loving, life and future. Being next to her felt like the next best thing to being an angel in Heaven. It made me think about how she use to take care of me, like a woman did for her man, “Brandie, you remember how you tricked me that night I came home from Cancún?”

  She laughed, “Yes. We had been arguing, well, not arguing, but debating about how you couldn’t resist having sex with me, no matter what.”

  We both laughed thinking about the outcome.

  “And when I came home you were acting like you were sound asleep. That night was so special to me. I came in singing, ‘I Really Miss You Brandie’,
and when I got to the bed you were acting like you was dead to the world. Then I peeked under the cover to see what you had on.”

  “Yep, and then you had to go take a shower because all I had on was a pink thong and you know you wanted this thang.”

  I hugged her tighter.

  She was right. I wanted her right then and there, but I couldn’t punk out. I turned on the radio so only the speakers in the bathroom would come on. After I was in the shower for about five minutes, just enough time to wash my dick, she knocked on the shower door, I flashed a devilish grin, “Yes, may I help you?”

  “Is there any room for me in there?”

  “I got to check you out first. And anyway, who are you? My girl in the bed sleep.”

  She flashed a sexy smile and stepped in my full view, “Ahh, Miss Lady, you ain’t got no clothes on.” I covered my eyes.

  She giggled and stepped in the shower. “I told you I need to check you out first, Miss Lady.”

  “Be my guest.” She put one leg on the bench, I smelled the hair on her head, first, the smell always, drive me crazy. Then I kissed her on all her facial parts. Next I kissed, licked and sucked her breast. As I made my way down her side she began to moan. By the time I reached her pubic hair she was about to fall out.

  Her pubic hair shaved in the shape of a Hershey’s kiss, “Can I have a bite of your candy?”

  She nodded her head yes and licked her lips as I dug my face into her sweetness.

  After all that she was ready for me to drill her, but I had a point to prove. So I just turned away from her and continued to wash myself.

  “You need the rest of this water?”

  “Hunh?”

  “The water, you want to finish using it?”

  She stood looking at me dumbfounded, “You aren’t finished.”

  I laughed at her and left her standing in the shower by herself.

  “Chinoe?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can we have more nights like that?”

  This was my invitation to come back home.

  She turned around and sat up on her knees, “I love you too baby!” She said sweetly, hugging my neck. I held onto her soft body and inhaled her sweet Ocean Dream.