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by Al Macy

  “Have you turned it on?” Jake asked.

  “Daddy won’t let us.” Alex cocked his head toward the president.

  Hallstrom smiled, crossed his arms, and shook his head. “Well, what do you think it does, Alex? You must have thought about it.”

  “I’m pretty sure it generates a field, like a ray gun. It comes out here,” Alex pointed to one end, “and, based on the optics, widens out the farther you get from the device. I’m also sure that the dial is a timer. So, you set the timer and then you ush-pay the utton-bay.”

  McGraw spoke up for the first time. “We’re going to test it on the monkey in an hour.”

  “Hey,” Martin crossed his arms, “that’s no way to refer to my brother!”

  * * *

  One hour later, Jake was the last one into the lab. Housed in the basement of an old building near the White House, the rooms were small, with acoustic tile ceilings and painted cinder-block walls. Jake squeezed in. A little crowded here. The advisers stood looking at the monitors and controls. The rhesus monkey, the device, and the remote-controlled servo system that would physically push the button were in the next room. This was a precaution in case it exploded.

  Of course, the device could suck up the whole planet, but putting it in a separate room was the compromise that Hallstrom and Guccio had come up with. The arguments went back and forth, but the deciding factor was that this was an extraordinary situation, and the device could help Earth deal with the alien. Of course, Jake suspected it really came down to this: everyone wanted to see what would happen.

  The monkey appeared on the video screen, strapped to a chair with the device pointing at his head.

  Jake leaned against the wall. “No animals were harmed in the testing of this device.”

  Charli smiled at him. “Not yet, anyway.”

  “Okay, we’re ready to go.” McGraw looked at the others.

  “Beam him up, Scotty,” said Alex.

  McGraw typed in the computer command, and the human-designed servo devices adjusted the dial and then pushed the on button. Nothing happened. The monkey appeared completely relaxed. Of course, he had seemed pretty relaxed before the test.

  Jake said, “Seth, why is he so relaxed? I mean, in general?”

  McGraw answered without looking up from what he was doing. “Oh. We’ve trained him to stay calm when in the chair.”

  A second video monitor showed the dial slowly moving back to its starting point. As soon as it stopped, the monkey looked around. Alex sighed.

  “Try it again,” Jake said. “I think I noticed something. Set a longer duration this time.”

  They repeated the test. While the beam was on, Jake said, “Notice that he’s not moving at all. Watch what happens when it stops.”

  Sure enough, the timer got to zero, and the rhesus looked around as if wakening from a trance.

  “Excellent,” McGraw said. “Now let’s find out whether he likes it.”

  Jake looked over at him. “Yes. By all means. Let’s give him a questionnaire. How satisfied were you with the ray gun? One, very satisfied, two, somewhat satisfied, three, neither satisfied nor—”

  “No, no, no, watch this.” McGraw pointed to the monitor showing the monkey. An assistant entered the room and moved a lever over next to it, released the restraint on the monkey’s right arm, and left.

  McGraw continued to stare at the screen. “When the monkey depresses the lever, which he’s sure to do quite soon, I will turn on the device, and—ah, here we go.”

  The monkey cocked his head and reached over to the lever. He moved it this way and that then he pushed it down, and a beep sounded. McGraw activated the device, having set the duration ahead of time. After it timed out, the rhesus did it again. This continued for a while. The monkey didn’t depress it frantically or hold it down. There was nothing to suggest that the effect was unpleasant or pleasurable.

  “Next, we see how it affects his behavior.” McGraw nodded to the assistant who went into the other room and wheeled an apparatus over to the monkey. It seemed to recognize it and welcome it. The rack held what was essentially a computer tablet and a feeding tube.

  McGraw looked up. “This is a task that he is used to working on. He solves a puzzle on the screen, and when he completes it, he gets a shot of banana-flavored goo through the tube.”

  “Really? Banana?” Charli asked.

  “Yes. They love the stuff,” McGraw said.

  The monkey started playing his video game and when he apparently solved it, there was a bell, and he put his mouth on the tube to get his reward. He started working again, and McGraw turned on the ray. The monkey stopped and looked relaxed. As soon as it went off, he blinked and continued working on the puzzle.

  “I’ve got an idea. You have to try it on me.” Jake pushed off from the wall.

  “No way,” Charli said.

  “Look, we don’t have time to screw around here. We’re not making a lot of progress on this alien issue. Just put it on me, turn it on for a few seconds, and I think I can tell you exactly what it’s for.”

  Charli crossed her arms. “And if your brains squirt out your nose, we’ll be out one idea man.”

  Jake smirked. “You mean idea person, right?”

  McGraw held up his hands. “Hold on, guys. The ethics are a little complicated, but I’ve already got a volunteer from the lab to sit in that chair. So that’s what we’re going to do.”

  Jake raised one eyebrow. “So you found someone disposable.”

  “He’s a volunteer, just as you were.” McGraw pressed a button on an intercom. “Tell Ron Kane we’re ready for him.”

  Jake watched McGraw. Seth had been working long hours but still approached his work with the enthusiasm of a teenager. How long would he be able to keep that up?

  McGraw said, “Ron Kane is a smart guy and he’s eager to go. He’s a bit of a character and a practical joker, as you’ll see. Jake, what do you think this thing does?”

  “Well.” Jake looked at the ceiling and scratched his throat. “I’ve got a guess. I don’t want to say anything yet.”

  “You don’t think it will do anything bad to Ron.” McGraw raised his eyebrows.

  “That’s correct. I wouldn’t have volunteered myself if I’d thought that.”

  Ron popped into the room, breathing heavily. He was a twenty-something and wore jeans and a T-shirt under his lab coat. His narrow face held an impish grin.

  McGraw clapped him on the shoulder and looked at the others. “Ron has signed lots of forms showing he understands what he’s getting into, but note that we have dispensed with a lot of the usual red tape in this situation.”

  Everyone shook Ron’s hand and thanked him. With the mood turning suddenly serious, Ron cleared his throat and looked over at the exit. Is he having second thoughts?

  McGraw said, “Ron, there really is a significant risk here, and no one will think worse of you if you want to change your mind. You can just go back to the lab. Are you sure you want to go through with it?”

  Ron straightened his back. “It’s worth any risk if it gives me what you promised, Dr. McGraw.”

  McGraw frowned. “What I promised?”

  “You know. You said it’ll make my you-know-what bigger.”

  Everyone but McGraw laughed. “Okay, no more joking now. This is serious. I like your sense of humor, but if you even cross your eyes as a joke when I turn it on—”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll behave, sir.” But when McGraw turned away, Ron crossed his eyes at the others.

  With little ceremony, Ron went into the room where the monkey had been and sat down in a human-sized chair. McGraw activated the device. Ron gave a little frown, and the device turned off, even before the timer dial counted down. The dial snapped to zero by itself. Everyone looked to him.

  “What happened?” McGraw asked him over the intercom.

  “Well, that was weird.” Ron’s voice was audible over the speaker, but everyone trooped next door into the experiment
room.

  “What was weird?” Jake asked.

  “Well, I was thinking about what will happen and my mind had just wandered to thinking of a date I’m going on tonight. When the device went on, I was thinking about—”

  “What?” Charli said. “Did it put thoughts into your head?”

  “No, I was thinking about … well, nothing. Nothing at all—like I wasn’t thinking. It wasn’t unpleasant, just kind of surprising. I pushed back somehow, like ‘go away,’ and it stopped. I started thinking normally again.”

  “That’s when the machine turned off,” McGraw told him.

  “I see,” Ron said. “Let’s try it again, and this time I will accept it. I won’t push back.”

  McGraw went to the control room and turned it on. Ron sat there for thirty seconds, doing nothing, until the timer reached zero. He smiled and looked at the others.

  “It’s actually interesting. When that thing is on, I’m not thinking about anything. It’s as if my mind is in neutral. It may sound like a contradiction, but I’m aware that I’m not thinking of anything. I know, that sounds as if I’m thinking about not thinking, but it isn’t that way. I can’t really describe it.”

  “What could the purpose of that be?” Charli looked up at Jake, who looked at Ron.

  “Ron, do you meditate?” Jake asked.

  “Do you mean with incense and chanting and stuff?”

  “Sounds like no.”

  “That’s right, I don’t do any of that touchy-feely stuff. You mean do I think hard about things? Like meditate on a problem?” Ron tilted his head.

  “Actually, no. The goal of the simplest meditation is simply to clear your mind. Not to think of the future or the past but just think of perhaps one thing, like a word or a sensation. Or even think of nothing. The problem for most people, is that when they try to do this, their mind jumps to different thoughts unintentionally. You might start thinking about an upcoming presentation, a mistake you made in the past, or something you wish you’d said. My guess is that this is a meditation-assistance device.”

  “So, not terribly useful,” said Alex.

  Jake shook his head. “Well, a lot of people feel that there are many benefits to meditation. So in that sense—”

  “Let me try it for a longer period this time.” Ron said.

  After a five-minute trial, Ron looked up and smiled. He leaned back in the chair and had his fingers loosely clasped in his lap. “Definitely interesting. It does feel kind of refreshing.”

  “Okay.” Guccio spoke up for the first time. “What about this. This is an interesting device, which we have maybe figured out, and maybe we’ll look at it some more, but let’s put it on the back burner while we continue with other devices?”

  Hallstrom nodded.

  “What should we call it?” asked Alex.

  “How about the Om-ray Machine?” Ron sat cross-legged on the chair and closed his eyes. “Ommmmm.”

  “Anyone mind if I take it for a spin?” Jake asked.

  Charli frowned at him. “Let’s keep an eye on Ron for a few days first.”

  McGraw was disassembling the servo mechanisms, and Ron looked at the others then crossed his eyes, held his throat, and staggered a little like he was dying.

  Without looking up, McGraw said, “Mr. Kane, I saw that.”

  The others were leaving when one of the secretarial assistants poked her head around the doorjamb. Her face was flushed. “Dr. McGraw, could I speak to you for a second?”

  “Sure. Go ahead, guys, I’ll talk to you later. Jake could you stay behind?” He turned to her. “Your name’s Ann, right?”

  “Well, yes. Annie.” She paused and looked down then back up. “I’ll, ah, go see my doctor about this, but it’s a little scary, and, you’re a doctor right?”

  “I have an MD and a PhD, but I’m not a practicing physician. Do you want to speak privately?”

  She looked at Jake. “No, no. I guess I’m just wondering whether I should call an ambulance. A few minutes ago, I was filing some forms, and … it’s hard to describe.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Well, I think I just had a seizure. My sister started having seizures, and a week later she was dead, so I’m a little freaked out. It’s like I just stopped thinking. My mind was a blank. Does that make sense?” She looked at McGraw then at Jake. “Maybe I just had a senior moment. It was pleasant, and I didn’t fight it, but it was weird. I’ve heard that you can have seizures or brain problems that make you feel good, right? Then it stopped, and I was fine. I’m pretty scared. Do I need to go to the hospital?”

  McGraw put his hand on her shoulder and smiled. “No, Annie, you’re okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “It seems you were affected by our experiment. I’d like to have you checked out, but I don’t think you need to worry. Where is your office?”

  “It’s over at the other end of the building.”

  “Let me walk you back to your office and I’ll tell you about it on the way.” McGraw exchanged a look with Jake.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  September 21, 2018

  Instead of heading back to the White House after the om-ray test, Jake picked up sandwiches and met Charli in President’s Park. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Her ponytail came out through the hole in the back of her baseball cap, and she looked more like a backpacking teenager than a Washington insider. An image of the two of them on a romantic camping trip crept into his mind. Coming home to a cozy house. Taking hot showers and appreciating the luxury of a real bed.

  Charli said, “I really don’t want to sit on the grass.”

  Jake shaded his eyes and looked around. “Well, I don’t see any benches. Maybe Homeland Security took them out. Thought somebody would throw one at the president.”

  “We should just go back to the sandwich shop.”

  Jake took off his windbreaker and spread it out on the ground, sat down beside it, and looked up at Charli. “I had it sanitized just in case any obsessive compulsives needed something to sit on.”

  Charli smiled and sat down on the jacket. “I’m not, you know.”

  “Not what?”

  “Obsessive compulsive. I just don’t want to have a wet butt.”

  Jake felt the dry grass. “You’re right, it’s soaking wet. How did I miss that? Did you want to get the sandwich wrappers lined up before we eat?”

  “I like things to look neat, that’s all. Is there anything wrong with that? Can we talk about something else?”

  “I think I know what you don’t want to talk about,” he said.

  Charli drank some of her Diet Pepsi through the straw and then opened the lid and looked inside.

  “Something interesting in there?”

  “Why do they put so much ice in these things?” She shook the cup and looked at it from the side.

  “Good question. Maybe you could bring it up at a cabinet meeting. How about we talk about, um, let’s see, a kiss at the top of Sugarloaf?”

  Charli froze and stared off into the distance. Shouting erupted all around them. Jake followed her gaze to the top of the Washington Monument. They dropped their sandwiches and their drinks and ran toward the White House. Cronkite’s sphere hovered at the tip of the monument like a teed-up golf ball. An ominous golf ball.

  * * *

  Jake and Charli arrived in the White House’s deep underground command center in time to see the old-fashioned test pattern on the main screen. It was followed by an underwater scene complete with coral and colorful fish. The camera rose through the water, and the legs of a surfer sitting on his board came into view. When the view broke the surface, Waikiki’s Diamond Head appeared on the horizon.

  The surfer turned to the camera. “Oh, there you are. Give me a second.”

  “Guess who,” Jake said. Here we go, again.

  Cronkite paddled the board around so that he was facing the camera. “I’ve been taking a well-deserved vacation. You may notice it has improved
my disposition.”

  Cronkite put on a big smile. He was wearing only board shorts, and although the body was old, it was in reasonable shape. “This is a nice place you have here, but boy did I get a sunburn yesterday.” He pressed his thumb against his shoulder and released it, taking a long time to watch the result.

  He turned back to the camera. “But don’t worry, I’ve been thinking of you. Thinking about how to help you. I noticed you’ve decreased your population—that is definitely a step in the right direction. I hope you have enjoyed the goodies I gave you. The plans, that is. Making progress?”

  Cronkite looked out to sea then back. “I am ready to get to work—to explain what you need to do. I hope you are ready, too. I am here to request a videoconference with US President Dane Hallstrom and your planet’s number one problem-solver, Jake Corby. I will be happy to answer all the questions you have. This will be an internationally televised event, of course.”

  Cronkite scratched his underarm, covered one nostril, and blew a snot rocket into the water. “Mister Corby and President Hallstrom, please be in the White House video conference room at noon this Sunday. I have uploaded instructions to WikiLeaks for your tech people.”

  Cronkite glanced seaward again. “As for now, it looks like a set is coming in. I look forward to meeting with you in two days.”

  A picture-perfect wave rolled in. Cronkite gave a few expert paddle strokes, caught the wave, and surfed away from the camera.

  * * *

  September 22, 2018

  Charli struggled to complete the final rep of her chest press in the White House’s gym. On “her” Bowflex machine, the one they’d installed just for her, she could work to failure without a spotter. Nothing helped clear her mind like an all-out effort, and she strained at that last push for ten seconds before giving up. Eight point five reps. Better than last week.

  The special ringtone for her grandmother broke the silence. Charli smiled when she picked up her phone.

  “Sheriff Keller, how nice of you to call.”