by Dani Collins
“Nate mention her?”
“What does Nate know about it?” Her voice arrived at shrill.
He stalled, frowned at her, then finished tying his shoes. “Who then?”
“The young woman who came by today. Wren Snow. She’s Mandy’s sister.”
He stilled with recognition.
“Ah. Bells are ringing, are they?”
“What do you want to know? I was at the board camp in Utah. We hooked up and she called a few weeks later, told me she was getting an abortion.” He rubbed his thighs. “Frankly, I didn’t think you needed to hear that. Not then and probably not now. Why the fuck did her sister think you did?”
“Because their father doesn’t believe in the right to choose.”
He frowned, then, as comprehension dawned, his color drained away. “She had it?”
“You have a daughter, Trigg. Skylar.”
His pupils shrank to needle points in perfect circles of blue surrounded by a sea of white. His lips barely moved. “Are you fucking serious right now?”
“How many more are out there? That is what I want to know.”
“I thought there was zero.” He dropped his face into his hands.
“She said she was willing to do a DNA test. That’s probably a good idea.”
“We were virgins, Mom. But sure, fine. Okay.” He rubbed his face and rose. “Then what? A settlement or something? How much does she want?”
It struck her that he was talking about Mandy. She had the sense to push her anger to the backburner while she delivered the next bit of news in a more compassionate tone. “Mandy died some years ago. When the girl was two.”
That information seemed to splash across Trigg like acid. He flinched and turned away. “’Kay. The sister needs money, then?”
“Your daughter wants a relationship, Trigg.”
“With me?”
“Yes. Marvin wants to offer Wren the position as lodge manager, if Skylar is actually your daughter. Wren wants to move here so Skylar can get to know you.”
Trigg pivoted back to face her. “Are. You. Serious?”
“Marvin has her contact details. You should arrange for the test as soon as possible. I’ll leave it to you to explain things to your brother.”
“Thanks,” he barked.
She went back to her room, still shaking, never so happy to see Marvin as she was when he welcomed her with open arms.
*
Ilke told herself she was being overly emotional because she was still jet-lagged, but when Nate came back and said Rolf had agreed he could go to New Zealand with her, she almost cried.
“Babe?” He took her by the arms and dipped his chin, looking concerned. “You’re shaking.”
She was embarrassed that she was reacting like this, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’ve always just faced it and dealt with it. I block myself off and get through it. Tell myself it doesn’t matter.” She wiped under her eyes. “I was so envious of you tonight, when I saw you with your family. You don’t hold back. You can just be you and relax. No one is scared or pretending everything is fine over a layer of tension. You’re not watching the clock or counting the days for it to be over. It was so nice.” She was full-on leaking tears now and sniffling as she wiped her wrist across her cheek. “That’s how I feel with you, too. Relaxed. I’m really happy you’re coming with me. I’m glad I have you in my life. It means so much, Nate. You have no idea.”
He pulled her close. “I thought you were mad that I was acting like a possessive boyfriend.”
Boyfriend? “You’re so much more than that.” She squeezed him tight, keeping her head buried in his shoulder and her mouth muffled against his shirt as she leapt off a cliff. “You’re the man I love. And I’m so scared, but so happy.”
His breath caught and his arms tightened. She thought she felt his heart slam harder beneath her cheek. He pressed his mouth to her hair as he said in a choked voice, “Me, too. I love you so much.”
She tilted up her face, needing to see it was true. Looking into his eyes was scary, causing the bottom to drop out of her stomach. His gaze delved into hers, deep into the pockets and dark corners of her soul. He saw everything, leaving her naked and without a single defense against him.
But the heat and tenderness that she saw in his eyes made her heart swell in her chest. The corner of his mouth kicked up and she knew it was okay that she couldn’t hide anything from him. The tears that were burning behind her eyes were happy ones.
The first touch of his mouth against her lips filled her up, made the burn in her eyes sharpen and sting, but in a good way.
She slid her arms around his neck and they deepened the kiss. Started tugging at clothes, needing to be completely naked, no barriers between them.
Her luggage was still on the bed and he gave it a shove as he flattened her naked body beneath his own. She opened her legs, sliding her thighs up to his hips, inviting him to press into her, but he said, “I have to slow down.”
“It’s okay. I want you inside me. I want…” She guided him and she was so slick and ready, he slid deep, all the way, easy and smooth and thick and tight. Filling her up so she gave a shaken sigh of relief.
He cupped her head and looked into her eyes again. “You know it’s not just this, right? This is better than perfect.” He rocked his hips a little, settling even deeper inside her. “But I love you.”
Why? That’s what she wanted to ask, never having believed in soul mates until this second, but he seemed her perfect match in every way. She closed her eyes, trying not to want too much.
“Sometimes I worry we’re too good to be true,” she whispered.
“Open your eyes.”
She did.
“I’m right here. You’re awake. This is real.” He kissed her and moved slow and deliberate.
They both sighed and she started to let her eyes drift closed, wanting to savor the feel of him. All the points of contact where skin brushed skin and muscle flexed and hair abraded. The sensation of his shape gliding smoothly, so satisfying, yet teasingly inciting at the same time.
“Keep looking at me,” he murmured, kissing her softly. “I like seeing that dreamy look in your eyes. Knowing I put it there.”
They were dreams, the kind she barely allowed herself to entertain, but she let him see all of them. Let him see her desire to believe in him, to be deserving of his love. Let him see her longing for a shared future, endless and solid and bright.
It was intensely intimate, making fresh tears of vulnerability dampen her lashes, but it was so beautiful at the same time. She had never felt so cherished, so connected to anyone in her life. So willing to open herself this way and so rewarded for it.
Neither looked away as they climbed the peak together, every increment taken in tandem until the universe was before them and the breath rushed out of her and he clenched his teeth right before they plummeted effortlessly into the abyss.
Then, and only then, when his back was shuddering and his muscles flexing and her own body writhed in agonized ecstasy, did she close her eyes.
As a million stars danced across the backs of her eyelids, she began to believe that maybe this time, her wishes upon them would actually come true.
*
Five days later, the day they were supposed to fly out, Nate was under the open-sided tent at the base, finishing up his morning tailgait meeting with all the contractors, waiting for Trigg.
The fucker had disappeared the morning after Nate had backed Rolf into agreeing to let him go to New Zealand. When Nate had asked Rolf where Trigg had gone, Rolf had given him a curt, “Exactly what I want to know.”
It wasn’t Chile because he took Murphy. Vivien and Marvin were both playing dumb, sharing side-eyed looks, which seemed to aggravate Rolf all the more.
The only reason Rolf was sparing Nate was because he expected Trigg to be here. After texting him several times, Trigg finally replied that yes, he would be back before Nate went to New Zealand
.
They were leaving in a couple of hours for the airport, so where the hell was he?
Nate was handing out forms as the meeting broke up when Murphy trotted up, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
Lifting his head, Nate let out his breath. Finally.
Trigg wasn’t moving with any degree of urgency, though, ambling toward the tent. He pushed his hands in his pockets and chucked his chin rather than offer a handshake.
“You all right?” Nate asked him, calling back one of the dispersing contractors and holding out a sheet of paper. “Kimi needs you to fill that out and get it back to her.” He turned back to Trigg’s lack of response. “Where’d you go? I was getting worried. I haven’t been on vacation with a woman since my honeymoon. I can’t miss this, man.”
“Had to see a man about a horse,” Trigg said, not looking or sounding like his usual carefree self, especially when Nate had left it wide open for remarks about honeymoons down under.
“Seriously, are you okay?” Nate asked.
“Fine. How’re things here?”
“Pretty much under control. Ilke’s having a last-minute strategy session with Rolf.” He thumbed toward the trailer. “Then she’s heading to the lodge to pack. We’re leaving in an hour. You and I have lots to cover.”
“I need to ask you something,” Trigg said, talking over him and clearly not interested in anything Nate had just said.
Nate picked up the gravity in Trigg’s tone. “About?” he asked with a frown.
Trigg glanced around, ensuring they were alone. When his gaze came back to Nate’s, his expression was defensive, yet hard.
“When you found out Ilke was pregnant, what did you do?”
Nate let his weight fall back on his heels, surprised they were going there. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how did you process that information? It was probably different because you were already a father, but it still must have been a shock.”
“It was.” Nate blinked at him, starting to comprehend what Trigg was getting at. “I thought you were in this situation once before.”
“Yeah,” Trigg said forcefully. “Still there, apparently.”
For a second there was just the distant sound of machinery and the dog’s collar as he scratched with his hind leg.
“Are you saying…”
Trigg was nodding, but it was the only part of him that moved. His shoulders were made of granite, his feet rooted hard into the ground.
“I went to give a sample for a paternity test. Pretty sure I have a daughter. She’s twelve,” he pronounced quietly, but very clearly.
“Shit, man,” Nate breathed. His heart took a little stumble toward envy. “I know you’re in shock, but I gotta say it.” He held out his hand. “Congratulations.”
Trigg ignored his hand. “Yeah, I don’t feel like that’s what’s in order here. What the fuck do I do? Apparently, she wants to get to know me. That cute girl from last week? She’s her aunt. Marvin hired her. They’re coming here to live.”
“Holy shit,” Nate said in an astonished chuckle, which only made Trigg scowl harder.
“Not funny, man.”
Before he could figure out a more appropriate response, Rolf’s voice cracked like a gunshot from inside the office trailer.
“Fuck!”
*
Ilke was working through some details with Rolf when Chivonne called through his open door. “That’s the police station in Haven. You want that, right?”
“I do,” he said, holding up a finger to indicate Ilke should stay right there. He didn’t bother closing his door. Rolf’s face grew darker and darker until he said a barely contained, “Thank you.” He stood and slammed down the receiver, shouting a huge, “Fuck!” that froze the entire trailer in a moment of shocked silence.
Ilke pressed herself into her chair while footsteps ran up the stairs and the door in the main area slammed open.
“What?” Nate said, rushing in to look at her.
Her superhero of a man had come to rescue her, apparently, but even though she wasn’t in danger, she imagined her eyes were planetary. She shrugged to indicate she didn’t know what had set him off and looked to Rolf’s still fuming expression.
“That was Kurt.” Rolf nodded at the phone. “He finally got hold of his colleagues in Tahoe about a bust there a couple weeks ago. Ring of black market ski sales. Serge was arrested. Serge claims Basco is the one who told him the container of skis was here.”
“So you’re our leak,” Trigg said, folding his arms. “Since you told all the investors we had a shipment coming and would trick them out if they showed up for our pitch.”
Rolf flicked his gaze to Trigg. “Yeah. And Serge says Basco told him to steal them. Paid him to.”
A chorus of, “Why?” followed.
“Unclear. Kurt is calling him in for questioning, but needs more than Serge’s say-so before he can charge him with anything. That could be weeks away, but that fucker is not setting foot on my site in the meantime.”
“Basco?” Nate said. “You’re firing him?”
“Affirmative. Tell everyone with his logo on their shirt or invoice that work stops now. If anyone wants to come back as an independent contractor, you’ll be happy to interview them. Then get started finding a construction company that doesn’t fucking sabotage my project to take it over.”
Ilke’s ears rang.
“But what about…?” she started to say. She was watching Nate’s expression grow from flabbergasted to furious.
“We have to open this season,” Rolf told her flatly. “You want that as much as the rest of us.” He leaned his knuckles on the top of his desk. “I’ll ask Vivien if she can go to Queenstown with you.”
Don’t cry. Do not cry. It’s silly. It’s nothing.
“Rebook it,” Nate said, looking between her and Rolf.
“Your job is to get this place built and running,” she said. “Mine is to staff up the training facility and represent.” She rose, but she felt cold all over. “It’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine. Not because she couldn’t go alone. She had done it before and could do it again. It was that she had let herself believe she wouldn’t have to. She had let herself start to believe she could rely on Nate. This wasn’t his fault. She knew that. But the disappointment was so profound, she could hardly bear it.
“Ilke.” Nate tried to catch her arm as she went through the door.
“I need to pack and get to the airport.” She brushed him off and hurried out of the trailer.
“Ilke!” He came out behind her, feet stomping heavily down the stairs as he caught up to her and stopped her.
“You have to…do things,” she said, throwing her arm out to indicate the activity across the site.
“Let’s talk this out first. We can rebook your trip in a week. Figure something out.”
“I don’t want to put this off, Nate.” She rubbed the spot between her brows where tension was starting to gather. “This is what it takes to win. You stay the course no matter the bumps. But…” Why had she let herself believe in him? Why? “But it’s probably best if we don’t do this.”
“Do what? Don’t say us,” he said through gritted teeth, even as she waved between them. “No,” he stated. “What do you want me to do? Quit?”
“No!” she cried. “I want you to build this hill. Rolf is right, you need to make it happen—otherwise I have nothing.” Literally nothing because skiing was all she had ever been able to count on and even that was teetering on the edge again.
Why had she let herself believe? Why? Her heart was being cracked in two. Split by a cold, steel wedge.
“Look. This isn’t about me having to go alone,” she managed, hands shaking as she tried to keep herself from falling apart. “I braced myself for going alone and I can do it. You’re the one who insisted on coming.” Her lungs felt as though they were filled with acid, the pain so intense her eyes watered and her voice rasped. “But I wish you hadn’
t, because then I started to count on you. I can’t lift my expectations only to have them dashed. I can’t let myself believe in something, in someone, and have that fall apart. I should have kept my expectations low. Instead, I started to believe I had you. But I can’t need you like that. Do you understand? Because then, when you’re not there, the disappointment will be an obstacle I can’t get over or around. Not more than once or twice. So just…let me go alone.”
*
Nate watched her walk away, stunned, throat aching with words she wouldn’t believe until he could prove to her that he was as solid as hammered iron.
She wasn’t saying she didn’t need him, though. She needed him too much and he would be damned to hell before he would disappoint her. He loved her far too much for that.
He swung back into the trailer and pushed through the now closed door to Rolf’s office.
“Busy,” Rolf barked as Nate barreled in, but he ignored that and snapped the door closed behind him.
In the minutes he’d been gone, something had shifted between the brothers. They were staring at each other like a pair of timber wolves in a standoff. Maybe Trigg had told Rolf about his daughter, maybe not. Nate didn’t give a flying fuck what their latest pissing contest was about.
“You asked me what you should do,” he said to Trigg. “You should man the fuck up and start looking after things around here.”
Trigg rocked back on his heels. “Is that right?”
“You wanted this place. You started it. And by the way, how many fucking medals do you need? Because I’m not going to stick around making this place come alive for you, while you can hang a few more around your neck, and she faces her worst nightmare alone, trying to get what you already have. Hang up the skates, man. Be where you need to be. Because I am not losing the woman I love because you told a guy you had a shipment of skis.” He swung that at Rolf.
Rolf lifted his brows.
“And you told a woman when to steal them,” he said to Trigg. “You two made a deal with a guy I’ve met twice. And I thought he was a prick, by the way. So fuck that. I’m going to New Zealand so she can say goodbye to her mother and never see the bitch again. It’d be nice if I have a job when I get back. If I don’t, I’ll send for my shit.”