by Dani Collins
He slammed out.
Three pairs of wide-eyed stares pulled him up for half a second. He realized exactly how badly he had lost his cool, but fuck it. He jumped in his company truck and drove it to the lodge, intending to take it the airport, because, Fuck it. He knew where his priorities lay.
Chapter Eighteen
Nate stormed into Ilke’s room before she’d had time to decide whether she was crying or packing or going upstairs to ask Glory for her car.
Strangely, his appearance didn’t surprise her. He was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be and he was wearing the hard mask of a conqueror, eyes narrow, cheeks tense, jaw clenched beneath the black layer of his beard.
Why did he have to make this so hard?
She searched for the will to expel him from her life and this time to mean it, when he said, “I’m going with you.”
Definitely making this next to impossible. Where was she supposed to find the strength to fight him?
“Nate, you can’t. Rolf needs you.”
“You need me. You said so. Here I am.” He shed his work vest and threw it over the back of the chair.
Her heart rose up to beat in her throat. She shook her head. It was never that easy. Not for her.
“How? Please don’t say you quit your job.”
“Threatened to. We’ll see if they accept it,” he allowed with a careless half-shrug that made her stomach drop into her shoes.
“No!” She covered her eyes. “Why would you do that?”
“There are other projects and other managers. The hill will get built. You’ll still have a place to train. I’ll find something else. He’s not going to pull your sponsorship in retaliation, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“That wasn’t what I was thinking, but now I am! What about Aiden? This job is for him, too.”
“I’ll figure it out. But Rolf isn’t going to fire me. Or let you go.”
“You don’t know that.”
Nate looked at her as if he couldn’t fathom how her brain worked.
“Ilke, you have to start recognizing your value. I know what I’m worth.” He tapped his chest. “I know what I’m saying when I walk in there and tell them that if it’s between you and my job, then the answer is you. Rolf understands it’s not a bluff. And he knows exactly what he stands to lose if I walk out. Now you do the math. You know what I get paid. You know how hard I work. You know how much I love this job and that it’s important to me to work near my son. What does that mean you’re worth, then, if I’m putting all of that on the line for you?”
“Don’t,” she whispered, starting to tremble. “It’s too much.” It wasn’t just a gesture. It was a pledge of fealty. “You said we would make compromises, not sacrifices.”
“This isn’t either one of those things. You matter to me. I’m not trying to prove something or win something. I have your back because I love you.”
“But if you’re willing to do all that,” she said through lips that wouldn’t stay steady. “Then I should be willing to do it, too, right? Quit skiing—”
“No. For God’s sake, Ilke. If I get hit by a bus, then, yes. Skip a race and come to the hospital. But I love you because you’re going after your dream. That’s one of the qualities that makes you special and attractive to me. You’re funny, you’re smart, you’re driven. I’m nuts about everything you are and I don’t throw my love around at just anyone. Open your eyes and realize that.”
He didn’t. And she would never, ever understand why he thought she was worthy of taking up space in his heart, but she couldn’t overlook what he was saying and doing. What he was demonstrating in a way she had to believe.
As she stood there, trying to take it in, the walls she had hastily tried to rebuild were falling apart. She thought it ought to hurt more, but she was so damned grateful to see him coming through them.
“You undo me every single time. I don’t know how to handle this much love. It’s—” Giant. Like she was swallowed by a whale. “This is why I wanted your baby,” she acknowledged in a jagged voice. “I knew you were this man. Good. Strong. Loving. I knew that I wanted to share something with you. I just didn’t know how.”
“Now you do.” He cupped her face in big, warm hands. “We’re going to share our whole lives with each other.” He smoothed his thumbs across her cheekbones.
“Sometimes I wonder, what if I didn’t get pregnant? What would I be if I didn’t know you like this? As part of my soul?”
He didn’t laugh at her flowery words and call her romantic or sentimental. He looked very solemn and said, “Somehow we would have found each other. Because we belong together.”
She let herself believe that, too, and it wasn’t hard at all.
“I’m sorry I panicked. I won’t do it again,” she vowed.
“Good, because I think I only get one ultimatum a year with this job.”
He kissed her and she tasted his love. His confidence in her. He lifted her up, off her feet, but emotionally, too. He filled her with aspiration and a hunger to prove him right. To make him proud. He filled her with belief. In herself. In them.
His phone buzzed.
He stilled mid-kiss, mouth on hers, then gently set her on her feet.
“Trigg,” he said, reading the text aloud. “‘I’m retiring. Hurry back.’”
“He’s retiring?” Ilke asked with shock. “From snowboarding?”
“Yeah.” He looked thoughtful until his phone pinged again. “‘Eat well down under,’” he read with a wince. “Such a classy guy.”
She rolled her eyes. “Let’s pack and get out of here before something else happens.”
*
They might not have been on their honeymoon, but it sure as hell felt like one to Nate. It was their last morning in Queenstown and his snow goddess was gripping the headboard above his shoulders while he slouched on the pillows beneath her. Her pale breasts were bobbing close enough he caught her nipple and sucked, which stilled her and allowed him to gather his fraying control.
When he released her, she sighed and swallowed him in the heat of her body, so hot it was like an ice burn, then she smoothly took up the rhythm again, lifting her hips until she was almost releasing the swollen tip of his cock.
His fingers tensed in the arch in her lower back. He was shaking, fighting hard against the explosion that was right there, making him want to close his eyes and surrender, but he also wanted to keep watching her. She was so beautiful, sinking down, then lifting again, riding him into insanity.
The way she was wallowing in their lovemaking, taking her time, glowing with perspiration, but flushed with joy, was something he wanted to hang on to for the rest of his life. Would. One way or another, however he had to.
But like this trip, their lovemaking couldn’t last forever. He felt the first quivers of climax ripple around him and his own avalanche of sensation threatened to tumble through him. Her mouth opened in a silent scream and he groaned, fighting not to let go. She was exquisite, holding him in the grip of almost-there ecstasy for a long few seconds before the release came upon them, almost in slow motion before it arrived in hard, throbbing pulses, finishing in a hot, overwhelming rush.
A spell. One that transformed and renewed. Left him wasted and weak, but so deeply happy.
As she shakily settled over him, they began to breathe again, hearts hammering against each other, skin adhered by perspiration.
All he could think was that he never wanted to move, never wanted this moment to end.
Because he knew what was coming.
Cradling her limp weight on him, still joined, he sank a little lower in the bed and stroked her hair, trying to believe that nothing could ruin this. After a long string of flights, they had spent a half-day getting their bearings and trying to cope with the time change.
Yesterday, she had worked with Nikau, a young man with Maori tattoos on his face and a lilt in his voice.
Nate had strapped on a snowboard and screwed around
on the slopes, trying to teach himself to stop with more grace than a face-plant.
In the middle of that, a streak of orange had zipped past him, then cut across in front of him so fast, he didn’t realize it was Ilke until he passed her where she stopped on his other side, facing uphill. As soon as he passed her, she whipped across the slope behind him and coasted alongside him again, laughing because she was literally skiing circles around him.
He had managed to slow himself down to a wobble and stay on the board while calling her a show-off, then he asked how things had gone with Nikau.
Glowing with excitement, she had said, “I called Rolf, told him I want him.”
“How are things going at home?”
“They want your ass back there.”
“So no extension.”
“I didn’t even ask.” She seemed to float effortlessly across the snow with barely a scrape of skis or a nudge of pole. It was all done with a shift of her weight and she was right in front of him, lifting her face for a kiss before floating away again.
They had spent the rest of the day on the slopes, playing like kids. If he hadn’t already been in love with her, he would have fallen for her then. She was a sight to behold. Like a part of the mountain come to life. An ice sprite.
It was a perfect day that ended with a nice dinner at the hotel, a soak in the two-person jet tub, and some energetic lovemaking that put them into a hard sleep.
She had instigated this morning’s session and he had been more than happy to let her take her fill. She was introspective now, though, worrying him.
“Okay?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
They packed in silence and she drove to her mother’s, since she knew where she was going and was comfortable with driving on the left.
Ilke had called a week ago to ensure her stepfather wouldn’t be here, but Nate still prickled with tension as they went through the garden gate. She knocked on the back door, then called out.
Nate wasn’t all that interested in meeting her mother, based on her reputation, and she underwhelmed even his lowest expectations. She said hello, then showed off a new necklace, talked up her husband like he was a philanthropist, mentioned that he had bought them tickets to some concert or other, and wanted to pour cocktails even though it was only ten in the morning.
Ilke dug her skis out of a room off the heated garage. Nate loaded them into the rental while she went back into the house. She came out with a box of trophies and what looked like one of Glory’s mom’s romance novels.
“You really can’t stay?” her mother asked. “When will you be back?”
Nate was holding the car door for her, conscious of the fact Ilke hadn’t hugged her mother when they greeted each other or looked like she intended to hug her goodbye.
“I won’t be back, Mom. I live in Montana now.” She looked at him and he read what she was thinking. That’s home now. You are.
“We’ll come see you there,” her mother said.
“Check with Vivien,” Nate said in one of the few sentences he aimed directly at her. “She’ll let you know if there are any rooms available.” There wouldn’t be. Not if he had anything to do with it.
They went to the airport, checked Ilke’s skis and the rest of their luggage, then stood in line for security with their carry-on bags. She was still awfully quiet.
“Homesick?” he asked, tugging her close.
“I am,” she admitted, leaning in to him. “Thank you for coming. That was harder than I expected. I feel bad. Like I should love her, but I only feel sorry for her. She’s the only family I have.”
“That’s not true.” He tucked his chin to look down at her. “I’m your family now.”
She smiled up at him. “I was thinking you’re my knight in shining armor, but yeah, you’re like that, too.”
“I’m not like family. Babe—” He had sworn he wouldn’t rush this. At the very least, he ought to have found a better setting than the mouse-maze of an airport security line. “I want you to be my family. My wife. Will you marry me?”
“Nate.” She drew back a little further, arms still around him, and looked genuinely astonished. But even as her eyes teared up, her smile spread wide and full of joy. His insides started to expand with a laugh he couldn’t contain.
“You really want to marry me?”
“How can you be surprised? Of course, I do. I love you.”
“I love you, too. But…I don’t know what to say. I made myself stop believing in the fairy-tale ending.”
“You say, ‘yes.’ ’Cause it’s not an ending. It’s the beginning.”
She laughed and said, “Yes. I would love to marry you!” She threw her arms around his neck and the people who overheard them began to applaud.
Epilogue
March, the following year
If there had been a better way for Ilke to come back from last year, Nate didn’t know what it could have been. She had started the season in peak health, winning her first race out of the gate, and racking up the points with a string of top-three finishes through the season. Each time her rank slipped to third, she became more resolved, dug deeper, worked harder, and skied faster.
It wasn’t easy. He wished he saw her more, but he was also in awe of her guts and stamina. And he was so fucking proud of her, he didn’t have words. He’d been grinning like a fool since they had landed in Sweden for the World Cup finals. He wanted to point out to everyone that that was his wife wearing the red bib—the one that designated her as the leader to beat.
Now all she had to do was ski as well as she had been skiing—which she would, he had assured her a thousand times—and she would come away with the big crystal globe.
The only place that might have been a sweeter setting for what they all anticipated would be a championship finish, would have been the still-new, understaffed, and minimally developed resort in Montana.
After a decent first season that wouldn’t wind down for another month, Rolf was working on getting them certified for qualifying races. Once they had that, he could start submitting Whisky Jack as a potential host for future Cup finals.
For now, they would make do with Ilke winning here in Åre with the Whiskey Jack logo on her ski suit.
“That’s not Ilke,” Aiden said, craning his neck to the right, watching the next skier come down. Rolf had got them killer seats right at the finish line. He’d bought a seat for Aiden, but Aiden was on Nate’s lap, partly to see better, partly to stay warm. His little body was tense with excitement.
“Not yet,” Nate agreed, one eye on the clock. Sometimes these things came down to hundredths of a second and that racer had finished right in the neighborhood of Ilke’s best times.
As the day wore on, the snow tended to soften up, but it wasn’t slowing down these final competitors.
Come on, come on. Ilke was favored to win all her events, but if she won this downhill race, her accumulated points for the season would put her well into the lead overall. She could finish in the top five with the rest of her events and still win the globe. If she came in lower than third, she would have a battle on her hands for the rest of the competition, but was still in good shape.
“Two more,” Rolf said to Aiden, shooting a look at the clock himself. “She skis last.”
“Because she’s the best,” Aiden said.
“That’s right,” Rolf agreed.
Glory grinned. “I expected him to get bored by now.”
So had Nate. Aiden hadn’t watched a live race before; he’d only watched them on TV. Unless it was Ilke, he tended to lose interest pretty quickly, but the noise of the skis on the snow—not unlike a passenger jet flying overhead—and the roar of the crowd, had him locked in and as invested as the rest of them.
It helped that Rolf had spent some time showing him how to watch the clock and understand the stakes. He explained the trickiest parts of the course, why the skiers had to be careful in different spots, and told Aiden a little about different skiers: where the
y were from, how they’d been doing all season.
Rolf watched the race unfold with the colorful commentary of a baseball fan and the emotional intensity of a gambling addict at the track.
“Okay,” Rolf said to Aiden as the crowd roared with excitement at the latest finish time. “Ilke has to finish under one, five-one, seventeen.”
Aiden’s fists tapped his own thighs. “She’s got this.”
Fuck yes, she did. Nate mentally telegraphed to her, You’ve got this, babe.
*
Ilke heard her name through the ABBA filling her earbuds. She pulled them out.
Her mouth was dry, her stomach churning, her muscles shivering from nervous excitement and cold. She ignored all of that, instead hanging on to the mental retracing of her three practice runs. She knew her line. She just had to stick to it.
She moved into position at the starting gate.
Conditions would have changed by now, but improvising to those changes was what she had trained for. A slushy pocket here, a frozen bump there. She could handle all of it.
You’ve got this, babe, Ilke heard Nate say in her head.
The starter buzzer gave a mee-meep.
She leapt out of the gate and dug in her poles to pick up speed. The first jump loomed and her temptation was to use the power of her thighs to catch a long float in the air. No. There was a turn below that jump. She would overshoot it if she didn’t land well before it. There—
She was back on the snow in time to dig in her edges and carve the hard turn, then the next one. Nailed it.
The sky was intense blue, the air crystal sharp, the sunshine off the snow forcing her pupils to shrink and explode as she passed between glare and into the shadow cast by the trees. She couldn’t see them, but frozen ruts carved by her competitors caught at her skis and threatened to bounce her out. She kept her knees soft, absorbing the impact, then shot around the next gate and this was the jump where she could catch some air.
She pushed off, tucked and held, felt as if she hung there for an hour. This was going too well. Felt too easy. Was she going too slow? What was that roaring sound?