Silent Treatment

by Jackie Williams

  Jim smiled lamely and then turned bright red as he saw his wife shaking her head at him from the landing.

  Carrie pulled her arms up over her head again, breathed in deeply and then relaxed back down. She was still glaring at her father as she rolled her shoulders gently.

  “And it was working too, until you burst in and nearly bashed me on the back of my head. Whatever were you thinking of dad? You only had to knock if you wanted to join us,” she said sarcastically.

  Jim sidled out of the doorway.

  “No, no, I was coming to get changed before dinner. I just tripped at the top of the stairs and grabbed the door handle so I didn’t fall over…I’ll leave both you to it shall I?” He stuck his thumbs up at Daniel. “Sounds good Daniel, it’ll be an excellent thesis I’m sure. Keep it up.” He walked quickly across the landing to his bedroom. Helen followed him closely. She closed the door behind her and turned on her husband.

  “How embarrassing Jim! They weren’t doing anything wrong. You’re lucky Carrie didn’t show you right up. Maybe she thought you’d done enough by yourself, you great idiot. If you ever do anything like that again, I shall make you apologize properly and then you’ll really know what embarrassing is.”

  Carrie still sat cross legged on the floor. She rubbed her shoulder hard as she looked down at the carpet, her cheeks as bright red as her fathers.

  “I am so sorry Dan. He must have been listening at the door and thought we were up to something. What an idiot.”

  Daniel came over to her and brushed her hand away from her shoulder.

  “Parent’s eh? It’s okay. I guess I’d be worried if I was the father of a beautiful young girl who had got a massive great lump of a bloke in her bedroom. Don’t be angry with him. It’s good that he cares about you.” He knelt down behind her and laid his huge hands on her shoulder. He began massaging firmly.

  “Maybe” She answered quietly as she relaxed completely and felt her body moving in rhythm with his massage. “But he’s still an idiot.”

  Carries T-shirt sleeve started riding up with the movement and Daniel’s hot hands touched her bare skin. She hung her head, pretending to stretch her neck as his heat worked through her body. It was almost impossible to keep calm. All she wanted to do was to reach round, throw her arms around his neck and kiss him passionately.

  “Hmm…Your hands are so warm Dan, it’s like having a heat treatment on my shoulder. I’m surprised how much I can do already.” She tried to keep her voice neutral as she rolled her arm in its socket.

  Daniel moved his hands to the back of her neck. Carrie could feel his breath in her hair and she let out a small groan of pleasure.

  He dropped his hands and moved away from her.

  “We’ve done enough for today. I don’t want you to overdo it. It’s obviously painful still.” Daniel stood up quickly and moved towards the door. “We can do a little more with it tomorrow if you don’t go too stiff overnight. Make sure you take a hot bath later and keep it moving tonight, but do it gently, okay. Don’t do anything that pulls it tight.”

  Carrie stood up too, wishing that she had managed to take control of her voice box as easily as she could control her body.

  “Sure, anything you say, come on, I bet dinner is ready by now. I’ll come down too and have just a small plate full, just to keep up the appearance of being ill still.”

  Daniel looked a little concerned.

  “Do you think I should stay? Your dad didn’t look very happy to see me here, even after he knew everything was okay. I don’t want to upset him or anything.”

  Carrie laughed and caught hold of Daniel’s arm. She pulled him to her side.

  “There’s no way you are letting my dad off the hook tonight. He’s going to have to pay big time for that intrusion and the filthy thoughts he had about what we were doing. I can’t believe he had the nerve to burst in like that. At least it will teach him not to listen at doors. No, you’re staying whether you like it or not, just to make him feel really uncomfortable if nothing else.”

  Daniel laughed with her.

  “Okay, but don’t say anything over the dinner table about it. I’m embarrassed too you know.”

  Carrie looked up at him and arched her eyebrows.

  “You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”

  Daniel looked a little sheepish.

  “Of course I do. Any normal eighteen year old would have been trying it on with you. He probably thinks I’m a right weirdo now.”

  “Daniel!” Carrie exclaimed and blushed furiously again. “Now I’m embarrassed too. I think we’d better shut up on the subject.” She started down the stairs with Daniel just a step behind her, their conversation whirling around in her head.

  She suddenly felt her heart sinking as she reached the bottom step. Daniel really hadn’t tried anything on with her at all. Was he telling her that he wasn’t normal?

  She thought through their day together. He had shown her, on the internet, where his placement would be in America and they had listened to their favourite bands while talking about their futures. They had been alone together in her bedroom for nearly eight hours and he hadn’t done a thing to make her think he liked her any more than as a friend.

  They had had a perfectly normal conversation and he had helped her with her exercises, once that morning and again just before her father had interrupted them. He had barely even massaged her shoulder. Even he had admitted himself that it wasn’t normal behaviour for an eighteen year old.

  The realization of what he was saying suddenly swept over her. It was so obvious now.

  Daniel really was gay! Her father had been right all along.

  The little things he’d said and done before leapt into her brain. It was his way of telling her he wasn’t interested in her, or other women for that matter. All that stuff he had said about missing her the day before and thinking that he was going to kiss her, was all just him being a sensitive gay bloke.

  Carrie nearly cried out in frustration. How could the biggest, most handsome guy in the whole world, the only one she had ever loved, would ever love, be gay?

  It just wasn’t fair.

  She set her expression as she reached the hallway. Well, even if he was gay, she wasn’t going to not be with him. Not now they were getting on so well. Okay, so it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but she could still see him.

  And then her heart sank again. Even though the summer holidays were coming up, she was going to be so busy she would hardly have a moment at home and then he would be going to America for at least three years. She felt her face crumple and her throat constrict. There was a burning knot in her stomach that she couldn’t shift. She stopped dead in the hall and Daniel bumped into the back of her, nearly knocking her flying.

  “You okay?” He asked over her shoulder, suddenly concerned.

  “No,” she whispered as she shook her head. “I think I really do feel ill after all. I don’t think I can eat any dinner.” Her voice shook as she tried to hold back the nearly overpowering emotions that gripped her heart.

  Daniel came round in front of her and bent to look in her eyes.

  “Perhaps we overdid it with the exercises. It’s not an exact science. You’re not in any pain are you?” He was so close that she could feel his breath on her face.

  She couldn’t trust her voice. It felt as though her throat was full of splinters. She shook her head.

  And then a tear spilt down her cheek. She felt so desolate that for a moment she didn’t try to stop it, and after the first tear had escaped from the corner of her eye, a positive deluge seemed to follow. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and tried to stop them as she saw Daniel standing there staring at her, looking appalled.

  He suddenly whipped out a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her. She sniffed into it and wiped some more tears.

  “Carrie, what’s the matter?” He asked, his voice so gentle she almost cried some more.

  She shrugged awkwardly and
stammered for a few seconds as she gulped back the tears.

  “I…I don’t know Dan. I just feel sort of odd, almost lonely. I keep on thinking about this tour. Maybe I’m just homesick already.” She covered herself as quickly as she could and then Daniel did the worst thing possible.

  He stepped even closer to her, lifted his arms to her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. She could feel his heart thumping hard and hear his breath filling his lungs. His huge arms were so warm around her, his hands pressing into the small of her back. She sank against him, moulding her body to his, thinking that if this was all he could ever give her, she was going to take as much of it as she could.

  He rested his chin on top of her head and they just stood there for a while, not speaking, not doing anything at all and then Daniel lifted his head again. He kept hold of her as he spoke softly.

  “I’m homesick already too. I’m going to miss everyone so much. At least you get to come back here after the summer. I’m going to be somewhere where I won’t know a soul except Paul, for at least three years, and if I don’t like it there or don’t do well, then I’m going to have to work like crazy to get back home because I can only afford a one way flight.”

  Carrie looked up at him, blinking her eyes dry.

  “Oh Dan. Don’t sound so miserable please. You know it’s what you want to do. It’s a once in a lifetime chance, a fantastic opportunity, you have to take it. You would be completely mad not to. And then there’s Paul. How will he feel if you suddenly back out of it? You’ll make friends easily enough. Everyone loves you here, it’ll be no different there.”

  Daniel let go of her suddenly and spoke bitterly.

  “I don’t want everyone to love me, Carrie. I only want…” He paused and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, I’m not backing out of it. I just wish I had more time to think, to do the right thing. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really expect to get the placement but Simms wrote a brilliant reference for us both and filmed us at trials. I wasn’t really ready to make this kind of decision, especially not right now…” He tailed off, stepped back and looked down at her for a long moment, his ocean blue eyes wandering over her face, her hair, her body. Then he looked up again as he heard the sound of pots clattering coming from the kitchen. “Come on, I’m hungry and as you haven’t eaten since yesterday, you must be starving too. We mustn’t keep your parents waiting. I don’t want them thinking any worse of me.” He caught hold of Carrie’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze before he let it go again and turned towards the kitchen.

  Chapter Five

  September 1st 2007

  “Can’t we make it home tonight Antonio? Do we have to stay another night? I really need to get back as soon as possible. Can’t Lisa or Derek drive?” Carrie knew she was clutching at straws, but she was willing to try anything to spend an extra day with Daniel.

  Antonio glared at her.

  “No they can’t. It’s a hire bus and they do not have insurance, apart from the fact they are just as tired as I am. For goodness sake Carrie, we’ve been on the road all day today. I had no idea Scotland was so huge. I’m absolutely shattered. One more night in a hotel won’t kill you, which is something I may do if I don’t get some sleep soon. This tour has been harder work than I imagined. I hadn’t reckoned on all the extra publicity stuff. I assumed that it was just the concerts that we’d be doing. God! How wrong can you be! Serves me right for not checking the small print.” His voice was strained.

  They had stopped in a Birmingham hotel and Carrie felt even more frustrated as she knew that they could be in London in less than three hours.

  She sent Daniel a text and gave him the bad news. She expected him to text back, but she was surprised when a few seconds later her mobile rang displaying an unknown number. Lisa, lead dancer with the group, was looking over her shoulder. She nudged Carrie hard with her elbow and nodded her head vigorously.

  Carrie pressed the receive button. It was Daniel.

  “Hey, Carrie, I’m on Paul’s mobile. I’ve been an idiot and left mine at home. We guessed Antonio would be knackered.” There was a lot of background traffic noise and then he spoke again. “Paul called Lisa a while back and we set out more or less straight away. Paul said he couldn’t wait another day to see her. We’ll be with you in less than an hour. ”

  Carrie nearly cried with happiness.

  “Well thank goodness for that. I thought I was only going to get one day to see you.” She spoke softly, not really wanting the others to hear. Paul and Daniel had come to two of the concerts to watch them dance, during the summer and Paul and Lisa had been getting on very well together.

  “I can’t wait to see you Carrie.” Daniel said suddenly.

  “Me either.” She replied quietly. Although Daniel had said nothing to get her hopes up during the summer months, she felt very close to him. Even though she suspected he was gay, she never spoke about it with him and she never spoke about their relationship either. She didn’t want to spoil what she had. “See you in an hour.”

  Her phone clicked off and she sat back, smiling widely, in the lounge chair.

  Antonio looked up at her.

  “Happy now lover boy’s on his way?” He smiled at her indulgently. At sixteen she was the youngest in the group by a couple of years, but they had all become pretty close over the summer.

  She nodded and then shook her head quickly.

  “Of course I’m happy, but he’s not my lover, so don’t go mentioning that will you. He won’t like it.”

  Antonio gave a great guffaw.

  “Well, you could have fooled me. He looked like a dog in heat when he last came to see you. I thought it was in the bag.”

  Carrie stuck her nose up in the air, slightly disgusted with his turn of phrase.

  “Well, you thought wrong then Antonio. You must have got him mixed up with Paul. He’s obviously fallen for Lisa big time.” She ignored her friend’s mad giggling at her side. “Daniel’s not like that. We’re just really good friends. In fact I would say he is my best friend.”

  Antonio shook his head as the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

  “Okay, if that’s how you want to play it, that’s fine by me. I’m just glad he’s got you off my back that’s all. Now come on, we can sort out the rooms.” The rest of the group crowded round as he paired them off. “You and Lisa can go in together, but I don’t want those two blokes of yours trying to bunk in with you. They’ll either have to book themselves another room or go home.” Antonio looked straight at Lisa with a meaningful stare.

  She stuck her tongue out at him and then spoke up quickly.

  “They’re leaving late on. Paul wants to spend as much time as possible with his little sister. She’s only twelve and she’s really cut up about him going off to America, so he’s trying to fit everything in. They’re going to leave around midnight.”

  Antonio nodded and then yawned so widely Carrie thought he might dislocate his jaw.

  “Well, you lot may want to stay up until then, but I can tell you that I’m going to have something to eat and then hit the sack. Don’t forget to bring me bills if you want your dinner refunded out of expenses and please stick within our budget. Just remember that it doesn’t cover any alcohol.” He rolled his eyes at a grinning Callum and Toby, then started giving out the room cards. The others all went to find their rooms but Carrie and Lisa ordered some drinks and sat in the lounge. They had struck up a firm friendship over the last six weeks. Carrie had even confided to her new friend that she was in love with Daniel, even though she knew it was hopeless.

  “He’s never even tried to kiss me. A while back, when I hurt my arm, I thought he was going to, but I must have been mistaken.” Carrie had also confessed to Lisa about her shoulder injury. “We spent five days in my bedroom at the beginning of the summer doing this exercise regime he’s thought up and he never once did anything to make me think he fancied me. He’s just really nice all the time. It’s hopeless really, but if he wants to b
e my friend, then that’s okay with me. I’d rather see him just sometimes than not at all.”

  Carrie looked out into the car park to see if she could see Paul’s car arriving.

  Lisa caught her friend’s hand.

  “Are you sure he’s gay though? He doesn’t seem like it to me. I swear that Paul would have known and said something to me if he suspected anything like that and Antonio would have been all over him. If you hadn’t told me, I’d never have believed it for a moment.”

  Carrie shrugged.

  “He just isn’t out of the closet yet. Maybe he thinks it’ll damage his chances in America. But it’s not just that. I’ve never seen him go out with any girl, or if he has he’s kept it very quiet. I mean, I’ve seen him nearly every day since I was six. You’d think I’d notice if he had a girlfriend hanging on his arm.” She felt the familiar knot of misery in her stomach and then suddenly Lisa was bouncing up out of her chair.

  “They’re here! Look, they’re parking over there. God, he must have been driving like the devil to get here that fast. I bet the idiot has a speeding ticket coming in the post.” She giggled madly.

  Carrie grinned as she stood up.

  “Just as well he’s going to America then. They might not catch up with him there…Aren’t you going to miss Paul terribly when he’s gone?” Carrie hadn’t dared to ask before, but now seeing her friend’s delighted expression as she could see Paul climbing from the car, Carrie felt able to wonder out loud.