Sweetness

by Lindsay Paige

when I spoke again. “Would it be too much for me to ask you out on a date?”

  Emily looked over at me and the surprise was clear on her face. She gazed ahead for a few seconds and said, “Ask me and we’ll see.”

  I smiled as we walked up the walkway to her house. When we were standing face to face at her door, I asked, “Emily, would you like to go on a date with me? As in a date where we would have nothing but fun, no serious talk. Just good old fun.”

  She smiled up at me and pretended to think. “I think that is exactly what I need.”

  For the third time that night, Emily surprised me. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled her to me and deepened the kiss. That probably wasn’t what she had in mind, but I couldn’t resist. Her body was warm and fit. It seemed to melt into my own. Her hair was so soft as I ran my hand up to grasp the back of her neck. Her hands ran up my chest and rested on my shoulders.

  All too soon, it was over and she stepped back with her cheeks blushing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jake.”

  “Sweet dreams, Emily.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  She went inside and I made the walk back to my house. I grinned the whole way. I had a date, with Emily. I couldn’t wait. For the first time in a long time, I went to bed with a smile on my face.

  11

  Emily

  Today was a repeat of yesterday for the most part. Papers were turned in. Teachers gave lectures. It was a boring day as usual. I was a little excited about lunch, but mostly anxious. Would Jake sit with me again today?

  The answer was yes. I pushed all the doubt out of my head and focused on our “session”. With his eyes closed, I talked to him. Instead of him asking questions, I did the talking.

  We had our presentation next period and I asked him to do all the talking. He popped open one green eye and I tried not to giggle. He just looked too funny when he did that. “I don’t know. I think you should try to talk some. It would be good for you.”

  “I can’t do that, Jake.” Both eyes were open now and I was trying my hardest not to look away.

  “You can talk to me and Drake easily.”

  “Yeah, but I won’t be talking to people I’m comfortable with. I’ll be talking to a class full of people who think I’m a quiet freak.”

  His smile faded. “They don’t think you are a freak. They just think you aren’t very social.”

  He cracked a smile and I rolled my eyes. “It’s the same thing. Please, don’t make me do this, Jake.” I bit my lip while I waited for him to answer.

  He took a bite of his burger and said, “Okay, I’ll talk. But you owe me.”

  “Owe you what?” I was mostly curious, but there was no telling what he would say, which scared me a little.

  He leaned forward and stared at me in my eyes. My gaze dropped to his lips and he smiled. I looked back into his eyes and he said, “Seems like you already know.” I could feel the heat creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. Jake chuckled and I ignored it.

  The bell rang and we walked to my locker. I spun the dial and was very conscious of Jake standing close by. I grabbed the right book and the rolled up poster and turned to Jake. He reached for the poster, but I pulled it away. “No way. I’ll keep this. I have to make sure you don’t try and go back on your word.”

  He grinned and leaned in close. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  He stood up straight and I took a deep breath. “Let’s go,” I said stepping around him. I heard him chuckle behind me. I liked the sound of it, but at the same time I felt as if he was laughing at me.

  While we waited for our turn, I kept biting my lip. I really didn’t want to do this. The familiar knot churned my stomach and my head started to pound.

  “Jake, Emily. You’re up.”

  I grabbed the poster and, with shaky hands, took the rubber band off. I walked up to the front of the class where Jake was waiting. I held the poster up, covering my face and let Jake do the talking. The three-minute presentation seemed to last three hours. How did people do this? It was as if I could feel everyone’s stares through the poster.

  I sank into my seat with a deep breath once we were done. I felt relieved as I put my head down on my desk, but my heart was still racing a hundred miles a minute. I tried to take deep, slow, quiet breaths to calm myself.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder and then I heard a whisper, “Are you okay, Emily?”

  I turned my head to look at Jake. “I’m fine.” I gave a weak smile, but he didn’t seem to buy it. “I’m fine. Go. Sit down before we get in trouble.” However, it seemed that the teacher knew he was back there. I sat up and pointed to his empty chair, silently telling him to go sit down. After a moment, he did as I wished.

  I didn’t put my head back down as I was feeling a bit better. Jake kept glancing back at me and I would offer a wave.

  When class was over and I was relieved. Since I didn’t have to get Drake today, I thought it would be good to walk home. After making the necessary stops, I walked out of school and made my way to the sidewalk.

  “Emily!” I turned to see Jake standing by his car. “Do you want a ride?”

  “If I wanted a ride, wouldn’t I have driven my own car?”

  He laughed and said, “Good point.”

  I turned around and began my walk home. While I was feeling better about my mom calling, I was worried she would call again. What if she showed up at my house? A cold shiver of terror went down my spine. Arriving home, I locked the door behind me. I sat down at the table and realized how empty the house was.

  Without Drake or my dad here, the house was quiet and eerily empty. Silence meant my thoughts were coming full force like a train and crashing into me. I couldn’t go through with this. Whatever this was. After the game Thursday, life would go back to normal. I wouldn’t have to be around Jake. I wouldn’t have to wonder why he was around. I wouldn’t have to wonder why some random person like Jake Benson would want to be around me when my own mother despised me.

  Tired of the trail of thoughts, I pushed my chair back and walked over to the radio that was installed under the cabinets over the counter. I found one of my favorite stations, Bob 93.3 and turned it up. I felt better with some noise.

  I finished my homework two hours later. My dad came in the door as I was packing my things up. “Hey, hon. How was your day?”

  “Pretty good. Yours?”

  “Tiring. I’m going to have to work this weekend. Will you be okay here?”

  “Of course.” Dad started to get various items out of the fridge and pantry for supper. “Oh, Jake wants us to go to his game tonight. We can just grab a bite later.”

  He began to put everything back, “Alrighty then, what time does it start?”

  “In about thirty minutes. We should go ahead and find seats.”

  “Okay, I’ll drive. Just let me get out of my suit.” He left me in the kitchen to change.

  I went to my room with my backpack in hand and dropped it beside my dresser. I checked myself in the mirror…whoa, where did that come from? I haven‘t cared what I looked like in a long time.

  “Let’s go, Emily.” No time to think about it. With my phone in my jacket pocket, I headed out the door and to the game.

  We met the chilly air as we entered the rink. “Emily! Over here!” I looked towards the bench and saw Drake waving at me. My dad and I made our way to him. He gave me a hug.

  “Hey, buddy.”

  “Hey, Emily. Hey, Mr. Mike. Can we get ice cream after the game?”

  My dad was the one who answered. “If Jake wins, we can.” Drake smiled a huge smile. “He will win then. I saved you guys a seat!” He pointed to two seats next to the bench in front of the glass. The players were starting to come out and skate around the ice. “Well, I have to go.” Drake waved goodbye and went to go to the bench.

  We took our seats and the game began a few minutes later. My eyes followed Jake around the ice and, when he was on the bench
, I tried to focus on the entire team. The Ravens were already doing well. My dad and I rooted and cheered them on. I was having a fantastic time.

  There were five minutes left in the 3rd period and we were leading 3-1 when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Who in the world was calling me? Taking it out, I looked at the screen, and it was as if everything around me fell away. My hands began to shake as I saw the word Mom popping up on the screen.

  “Emily? What’s wrong,” I vaguely heard my dad say. I showed him the phone and I saw his face turn to ice with anger. He took the phone and walked outside.

  I plopped into my seat and buried my face in my hands. Why does she keep doing this to me?

  “Emily!” I ignored the voice, but it called out to me again. I looked over to where the voice was coming from and saw Jake standing at the glass in the bench area. I stood and walked over. “Are you okay? You’re pale,” his voice was full of concern.

  “My mom,” was all I could manage to say. His eyes showed conflicting emotions of rage and sadness.

  “Benson! Let’s go! NOW!” He turned to look at his coach and gave me an apologetic smile. Then he was gone.

  A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, turning to see my dad. “C’mon. Let’s go outside and talk for a minute.”

  I followed him outside and relished the cool air as it brushed over my skin. We walked away from the door a bit and my dad embraced me in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

  I took in the comfort that was my dad. “She called last night. I should have told you. I just didn’t know what to think. I was just hoping she would leave me alone.”

  “You should have come to me, hon, but it’s alright. She shouldn’t bother you anymore.”

  “I still miss her, Daddy,” I barely managed to choke out.

  “Oh, honey, I know. Sometimes I miss her too. She isn’t the same person anymore so we have to remember that.” He sighed. “I just want you to remember that I love you so much and that I’m always here for you no matter what. You can come and talk to me about anything. If you just want to talk and get something out, you can. I won’t say a word if you don’t want me to. Just know that I’m here for you, honey.”

  I squeezed him in reassurance. “I know, Daddy. I love you too.” He held me in his arms as if I would dissolve and blow away in the breeze if he were to let go.

  I knew right then that my Dad did love me and he meant what he said. I don’t know what I did to be worthy of his love, but I had it and I would try and try to become a woman he would be proud of. Maybe I could do the same thing for Jake and Drake.

  “Emily, we won! We get to go get ice cream now, right?” I turned around to see Drake rushing to me. It seemed that everyone was gone or leaving.

  “Of course, buddy. It won’t be like what we had Saturday, but it’ll still be good,” I told him. He was so excited and it brought a smile to my face.

  “Emily? Everything okay?” Jake came up to me and gave me a one armed hug and a kiss on the forehead.

  “Yes. Dad and I talked about it.”

  “Good.” He visibly seemed to relax.

  “Sorry I missed the end of the game.”

  “It’s fine. I hear we are going out for ice cream?”

  I smiled over at Drake, “Yes, we are.”

  “Jake, can I ride with Mr. Mike?” Drake looked at Jake with pleading eyes.

  “If you ride with Mr. Mike, then Emily has to ride with me,” he said pulling me a little closer.

  I had yet to look over at my dad. I was too nervous to see his reaction. “Well, let’s go then,” I said. We broke away from my dad and Drake and headed over to Jake’s Mustang. “You smell good,” I giggled.

  Jake chuckled and said, “Of course I do. I took a quick shower after the game once I found out about going out for ice cream.” He opened my door for me, then he walked around and got in himself.

  The Dairy Queen was about ten minutes from the school. Jake wasted no time. “What did Mike say about