by Amber Dane
He took a nearby burning torch from its post and laid it to the thatch roof. He walked around the building until all four corners were ablaze before dropping it to the ground. Then he walked away from his men and into the nearby wood just as the thunder grew in intensity not stopping until he came to a tall thin tree where he bent over at the waist and emptied his stomach.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
A feeling of foreboding settled around Caroline and it did not leave her till she heard the sound of riders. She ran to her window to see her husband’s men entering the inner ward. The men stood around talking before heading for the knight’s quarters. Darc was not with them.
She did not know how long she sat there but hours later voices drew her from her light sleeping to see him down below. Even though it was night, she could see he was covered head to toe in something. Without pause she rushed from her chamber and flew down the steps, a startled sleepy-eyed Melbert hot on her heels. Caroline ignored him and searched for Darc but he was not in the hall or anywhere else she looked.
When she had searched nearly each end of this side of the castle, Melbert all the while protesting and mumbling at her back, Caroline found herself back near the great castle doors, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
Just then she heard footfalls and turned to see him coming her way.
She’d been right, bloodied and a bone weary expression on his face, Darc strode toward them, he had removed his mail and gambeson. He looked at her, but Caroline felt as if he was looking right through her.
‘Wh-What has happened?’ she croaked.
His glance shot over her briefly afore he turned his dark gaze on Melbert. The chastened look made the soldier bow his head. Caroline came to his defense. ‘’Twas not him, husband. I do not wish for him to get in trouble because of my concern for you.’
That seemed to penetrate the dark fog around him and he dismissed Melbert with a wave of his hand. Then he turned on her. ‘Why are you not abed?’
‘I could not sleep. Where do you come from with so much blood on you? Are you injured?’ she did not think he was for most of it though fresh, had dried. A few cuts were open on his arms and shoulders, but not enough for all the blood on him and dried in his hair.
‘Nay. No dire wounds. You worry for me? Do not, wife. I am well. Return to your bed. I have a bath waiting for me in my chamber and I wish to partake of it ere it loses its heat.’ He waved out an arm before him in the direction of the stairs for her to go first. Caroline stayed rooted to the spot.
‘Darc? Was there a battle? Will you not tell me?’
‘Aye. There was a battle but nothing for you to concern yourself with.’
‘I-‘
‘Enough! I am in no mood for your talkativeness this night. Seek your bed and leave me be with your pestering, woman.’
Pestering!? Caroline stared agog at him. She was so hurt and angry at his outburst that she could not speak at first. Then she snapped. ‘See if I give a care about your hide ever again!’ She ran past him toward the stairs.
Caroline’s stiff spine lasted until she reached the landing. There her tears betrayed her and she dashed down the hall to her chamber.
Darc stared after her. He had mounted the stairs right behind her and seeing her swipe away her tears as she ran from him, swelled up another deep ache in his chest to sit with the one already there. He should have gone after her, but he did not. He had spoken the truth. He did not want to be near her this eve. Hell he did not know what he needed. Cursing aloud he walked past her chamber to his.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
After last eve Caroline should have known the chilly morning and dark clouds bore no good for her day. Leaving the chapel with Kelbie in tow, Darc came and ordered Laur to take the boy.
‘Come.’ He said to her.
Caroline did not budge from where she stood. Something was terribly wrong. The look of him was the look she had seen when she first saw him upon his warhorse those many moons ago. She shook her head back and forth. He looked dangerous and her.
‘Do not even think it, wife.’ He growled and snatched her hand and all but dragged her behind him. Her protests were all for naught for his strong hold did not yield.
Once the door to the room off the hall slammed behind them, Caroline was breathless and tried to push her wrist free. ‘What is wrong with you? You are hurting me.’ He released her at once.
A cold blast of air hit her as he walked past her further into the room. ‘That would not have happened if you would just obey me without preamble, wife. But it no longer matter now. Sit down.’
Shaking, Caroline said, ‘Nay.’ She was not lying, she was too upset to sit. ‘What is wrong? Are you behaving thus because of last night?’
A loud groan escaped him. ‘Sit down!’
Caroline rushed to do as he bid and took the seat near the table, her whole body shaking. She was frightened and angry at this side of him she had never seen. When he did speak ‘twas her turn to explode. He did not talk of what happened last night. He’d started in on his accusations and Raven.
Caroline shot to her feet, anger and disbelief now shaking her. She had been so worried over his bloody appearance yestereve and this was all he was consumed with?
‘How dare you continue to accuse me unjustly? Are you mad? Why speak aught? You will not believe a word I speak. Raven kept me in a cell. And he did not touch me. Why must you continue to bleed this wound? Has it not done enough damage?’
Darc’s gaze impaled her. ‘Answer the question!’ he roared.
Caroline shook her head. ‘I have done so time after time. This must stop, Darc if we are to move beyond it.’
‘I have no plans to move past it. Just answer the question. And this time give me the truth if you can speak it.’
‘’Till I give you the answer you wish to hear is more like the crux of it. You wish not for the truth, husband. You wish for me to fuel this devil of a fiery beast inside you so you can allow it to continue to live and rob you of any joy you may or could have. ‘Tis like a festering boil inside you and I must tell you ‘twill burst one day.’
His dark gaze of non-yielding unnerved her. ‘Then let it.’
Caroline closed her eyes against her anger and the pain, and took a deep breath. ‘No one can help you but yourself in this, Darc. I am worn.’
He glared at her, hurt and pain in his own blue stare, the flecks of green burned brightly. ‘I have exhausted you? Am I to take that as Aye, he had you?’
Caroline gave him her own growl of pent up frustration. ‘I refuse to do this with you. We have spoken of it nigh a hundred times. I gave you the truth, you did not accept it. I refuse to carry on with this. ‘Tis best to leave it be. Do you not think ‘tis time to do so?’
The look he gave her gave her the answer. Tears pricked her eyes and she threw her kerchief down on the table next to him. ‘Well. I pray you are not besieged by a night terror tonight and that you are able to get some rest!’ she meant it for the dark circles under his eyes bespoke of how little he’d been getting since the night Raven had returned her. Aye, she knew he still suffered the dreams for she’d heard him but had not gone to him. And she wouldn’t as long as this strife remained betwixt them. ‘The answer is nay, again. Raven did not have me. I almost wish he had. Mayhap it would put an end to your madness and my grief.’
‘If cutting off his head did not ease my madness, I doubt the truth of your deceit will, wife.’
Caroline froze and whipped around to look at him. He had risen to his feet and was glowering at her.
‘What say you? Did he not burn in the fire?’ Caroline found herself asking, confused. What did he mean?
He stalked right past her and simply said, ‘Nay. But this time he is most assuredly dead. If it upsets you, I do not apologize.’
She ran to catch up to him as he exited the room. He jerked away from her touch at his elbow. The castle guards turned away but Caroline knew they listened. Mildred and the buxom maids peered around
the corner.
She stood in front of him and he stopped, but did not look down at her. Caroline shoved at him. He did not budge. ‘Tell me what happened.’
‘I need tell you no more than I already have. You dare much, wife.’
Caroline would have thrown a retort but she was too aghast over this new information. ‘That is why you are dreaming again.’ She said more to herself than him, but he heard. ‘Oh, Darc-‘
His glare stopped her. ‘Best you get above stairs now for my patience is gone for you.’
Her aim to try to soothe him evaporated at his order. ‘And mine for you!’ she threw back at him. She ignored his insulting grunt as she turned her back on him and mounted the stairs for her chamber. Raven had not died in the fire. So that was where all that blood had come from on his armor. And explained the dreams, his anger.
The man was full of emotion, the pain…She’d seen it clearly in his eyes. His black mood and aim to blame was somewhat making sense to her. She did not fully understand his insistence about her and Raven nor would she excuse it. But she could not deny her heart ached for herself and Darc.
Instead of talking to her, Darc was so easily and willing to throw all the things they had shared and built thus far away. Heartache filled her to bursting. She was not aware she cried till she tasted the salt and wet of them on her lips. She had to wash her face clear before she saw Kelbie.
Raven had been so wrong. Darc was far from being besotted with her. He did not care. ‘Twas she that was the one besotted with the giant Norman beast and there was little she could do to change it. No matter how hard she tried or how angry he made her. His hatred, the obsession he held for his brother still burned inside him and blocked out all else even though Raven now lay truly dead. Caroline let out a ragged breath, feeling bereft and continued up the tower steps.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
The cold snap remained for the whole week and Caroline yearned for a day of sunshine and for the sun to beat down on her face. Kelbie was talking better now, eating well and full of energy despite the adults around him with sour moods. For him and the babe she carried, Caroline did her best to stay in a cheery mood.
Life went on in the castle and in the village despite the discord betwixt her and her husband. Aye, it was known to all around them, but no one pretended any different. And Caroline was glad and sad at the same time. Darc rarely showed himself and brooded in his darkness. No one spoke to him for fear of his bark as he went about seeing his men trained. She did notice he spent more and more time in the village.
He had moved Agnes and Cal from the east wing. Caroline had no idea where they were now. When she had visited them that day, Agnes had revealed naught, too afraid to speak. So all Caroline had done was talk a little to Cal. He reminded her so much of Kelbie. A sweet little boy. And the more she looked at him, his resemblance to Darc showed more and more.
Her morning and noon sickness had not bothered her in a week and she was feeling so much better now. Light flutters and changes in her breasts told her her body was changing even though her belly was naught more than a slight bump. Still she adored it and cradled it plenty throughout the day.
Things had to change here. They could not continue to go on the way they were. Her heart bled every day with the hope Darc would come to her. But he did not. As she had known, ‘twould be her that would have to make the first step. Missing him, worrying about him and the love she held for him consumed her.
Caroline swallowed her pride and went to him.
Her first mistake.
Darc’s headaches had never been worse than they had been over the past weeks. Since he had burned down Raven’s shack. The dull pain in his head was so painful; his vision had been blurred a few times. The only solace he seemed to get, the only reprieve was total darkness. He heard someone at the door and knew who it was before she knocked. Her soft footfalls were distinguishable from his guards.
He might as well get it over and done. What he had been thinking day and night to say to her. No time like now. She had come to him. He threw open the chamber door and her petite form took a step back. He growled and told her to enter and forced himself not to look long at her pale face.
Yet his eyes followed her entire form as she swept inside past him. Her scent hit him like a pile of stones, staggering him where he stood. Inhaling deeply and gritting his teeth against the effect she had on him, he slammed the door.
‘’Tis like night in here.’ She exclaimed and he heard her rummaging about and he turned away when the flare of the candle lit up the room. He grumbled and went to the trestle table. She followed, her body illuminated by the single candle she carried over. Darc shut his eyes and stopped breathing.
Caroline stared aghast at the changes in him. His pale face, dry lips and thick beard. He had furs around him, but he still trembled and his eyes were shut. Her heart went out to him. The man grieved and he did not even realize that he was.
‘Darc. We need to talk.’
His warm breath reached her as he exhaled. ‘Aye. I agree. I shall go first.’
Caroline’s hope was dashed by what he said next. His gaze locked on hers.
‘This matter between us is not going to change. And I do not think you should be under such stress. It will be best that you go to a convent for a while. Until the child is born.’
‘What!?’ Caroline choked out. This was not what she had expected. It took her a moment to find her tongue to finish. ‘Nay!’
‘So be it. If not the convent then my man will escort you to Gest Manor. It is not that far from here.’
‘I will not go to your manor or the convent. I will not be held against my will because of the demons that plague you. I warned you, after Halvard I would not be shut away again. You cannot do this to me!’
He shrugged those broad shoulders nonchalantly. ‘Oh, but I can and will. I will not argue with you over this. It is for the best and you will go.’
Caroline slapped both her hands down hard, flat on the table top in front of him. ‘I care not if you beat me or what else you aim to do. But I am not going!’ she shouted firmly. He arched a dark brow and gave her look as if she’d gone mad with her unrestrained outburst. He looked like the devil in the flickering candlelight.
She saw the anger boil in him and his struggle to control it as he turned away from her. She did not care. She would not allow this. She watched him carefully pluck the lint from the edges of his embroidered green tunic.
‘You refuse the convent, so this is your only choice. At Gest you shall be allotted a bit of freedom. However-‘
‘Nay! ‘Tis not my only choice.’ She cried, swinging her arm across the table knocking everything to the floor, except the candle. ‘I can seek the king to be rid of you.’ She knew he knew it to be a lie as soon as she said it. His deep laughter sickened her and she fought not to raise her hand to her mouth to cover her cry of pain and despair. What had he turned into?
He was around the table in seconds in front of her. ‘Think you he will listen to you over me? What rights have you? None. Do not be foolish and make this worse than it already is. Go to the manor, Caroline.’
Her eyes burned with her tears. ‘You cold- blooded selfish bastard. Cast away aught which makes you remember. I came here with the hopes of mending this discord betwixt us. Never would I have thought…’ her voice broke on a ragged angry sob and she shook her head unable to finish. She shook her finger at him. ‘I faced my truths, but you, knight of the realm, William’s man cannot. You left a helpless child in the village without his father. You cast me away. Even with his death, you have made Raven the victor. Who is the true fool here, my lord?’
His fingers wrapped around her neck but Caroline was not afraid any longer. His physical brutality could not be any more hurtful than the mental anguish he’d caused.
‘Be careful of what you say, Caroline.’
She shoved at his chest, his hand dropped to her wrists encircling them and holding her prisoner against him. ‘Why
should I when you do not? I am your wife, Darc.’
His hands tightened on her wrists before they dropped and he swung away from her. Caroline’s eyes followed him. His dark head lifted and he gave her a sidelong look empty of emotion that twisted her heart, his scar twitched and deepened in color.
‘You came to me with lies, now leave with them. I no longer have a wife.’
The piercing cry burst from her lips before she could stop it. If there was anything worse he could have said he just had. She flew at him and he caught her, braced for her attack and pummeling fists, saying nothing.
Exhausted and numb with her pain and tears, Caroline jerked away from him, disgusted. She abhorred that he’d forced her to mete out such abuse and what he had reduced her to. Her heart was breaking and in his eyes, she saw there was no hope.
Shaking uncontrollably she stumbled away from him. With her chest heaving and her throat raw she barely managed to get out each word. ‘At first I did not wish to believe it to be true. Refused to accept what he said as truth.’
‘Believe what?’ he all but growled at her.
Not shaken by his tone, Caroline replied coldly. ‘But now I know I erred in trusting my heart. What a fool I have been.’
He stepped closer to her. Anger is his movements that she was still evading his question. ‘Believe what?’ he repeated.
Caroline looked him squarely in the eye. ‘His lies. Planting seeds…Raven said you would believe them. That was his plan and he was correct. You do. ‘Tis bad enough I had one ghost to contend with. But two ghosts? ‘Tis a challenge I cannot win for you refuse to allow it.’
He breathed out the word in question. ‘Adelay?’
Caroline exploded. ‘Adelay! I am sick unto death about Adelay. The woman is dead. Raven is dead! Can you not let this torment go? Nay, obviously you cannot. You did love her deeply.’ She stated on a broken sob as the truth of it sucked the life from her.
Aye, he loved that woman so he could not even bring himself to love another. The realization stung and hurt her more than anything that he’d done. Tears burned her nose, but she blinked them back. His lack of response did not help and Caroline said, ‘This will never end.’