Return to You

by Samantha Chase

  And that she couldn’t act on it.

  Or shouldn’t act on it.

  Or…

  The broom dropped to the floor. “Damn you,” he muttered before lowering his head and crushing his mouth to hers. It wasn’t a kiss of reacquaintance. He poured ten years of anger and frustration into it, and he was surprised when Selena didn’t put up a struggle. One of his hands reached up and tangled into her hair, anchoring her to him while she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in her own haste to keep him close.

  All James could think about was how one taste, one impulsive moment, wasn’t going to be enough. He would have been fine if she had been outraged or if she had tried to push him away. The fact that she seemed just as crazed at the moment as he was spurred him on in a completely different way.

  Taking a step forward, he tried to back her against the nearest wall. Glass crunched under their feet as they moved, and Selena whimpered with need when her hip bumped into the countertop. He wanted to haul her up on top of it, to step between her legs and pull her snugly against him. His hands moved from her hair to her jaw and lower, to skim down her hips, when he heard Jen’s voice and the front door open. He pushed Selena away as if she’d burned him.

  Which she had.

  Ten years before and again ten seconds ago.

  Their breathing was ragged, but luckily Jen and Mike were busy putting plastic over the living room window and hadn’t noticed James and Selena in the kitchen. Touching her lips with shaky fingers, Selena’s mind flooded with questions, but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, James turned and left the room.

  What the hell had just happened? One minute they were arguing and the next they were devouring each other. Selena wasn’t sure why she was surprised; it was always like that with them. She just hadn’t expected it still to be that way after ten years of no contact. Closing her eyes, she swallowed and took a calming breath. Maybe that was why it was so intense—because of the time span. That did nothing for her ego, but it helped her to compartmentalize the whole thing. She could chalk it up to curiosity, leftover energy, adrenaline…whatever. It certainly couldn’t have anything to do with the possibility of there still being a genuine attraction left between the two of them.

  She heard voices coming from the living room, and yet Selena couldn’t seem to focus on what was being said. And she didn’t want to. Earlier she had wanted James to leave, and after that kiss, she wanted it even more. Maybe if he had shown an ounce of remorse or even affection, she might have felt differently, but he just walked away like it meant nothing, and that had seriously ticked her off. Minutes later, the front door opened and closed and then Jen was standing next to her.

  “Are you okay?”

  It took a minute for Selena to realize Jen was speaking to her. “Hmm? What?” She shook her head to clear it. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. How are you holding up?” She peered into the living room. “Did you get the windows covered?”

  Jen nodded. “I’m doing okay, I guess. Luckily I still had those supplies in the garage, so it wasn’t hard to get the windows boarded up. Mike said he knows of a company that does windows and that he’d send them over first thing…you know, when the sun is actually up.”

  The sun wasn’t even up yet. That in and of itself was mind-boggling to Selena. It had seemed like she lived a small lifetime in the span of a few minutes, and it left her feeling disoriented. “That’s good,” she finally said. They each stood there as if in a trance, and Selena knew she needed to keep Jen engaged in order to keep her from getting too upset or feeling sorry for herself. “So…that was Mike? The Mike?” She gently elbowed Jen in the ribs to make her smile.

  “Yes,” she said shyly. “I was glad it was him, except I’d like it if he could see me when I’m not in damsel-in-distress mode.”

  “I’m sure he’ll get the chance.”

  “Are you really sure about that? Because I’ve got to tell you, it doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to happen.”

  Selena reached out and pulled Jen in for a hug. “It’s going to get better, Jen. They’re going to find out who did this and make it right.” Jen’s head rested on her shoulder, and Selena felt when the first tear fell.

  “I really liked my life, Selena, you know, the way it was. I hate that somebody is ruining it for me. And ruining my house too. I love this house.”

  “It’s a great house, Jen, and the windows will be replaced today and it will be just like new.”

  “I didn’t want new,” Jen said sadly. “I want it like it was.”

  Selena could totally relate. She may not have had her house vandalized, but there was a time when it felt like her life had been, and all she’d wanted was for it to be like it was before. “I know.” She gave Jen a gentle squeeze and released her.

  Wiping a stray tear away, Jen looked over the room.

  “I think between the two of us, we can get the bulk of the glass swept up, and then I’ll vacuum the rest. By the time the window guy gets here, we should have everything back in some semblance of order,” Selena said.

  “I’m going to put on some coffee before we get started. Do you want anything?” Jen asked.

  “No, but thanks.” The reality was that she did; what Selena wanted most was answers. Why had James kissed her like that, and why had he seemed so angry? He was the one who had left her all those years ago, so what did he have to be angry about? Maybe if he had stuck around a little bit longer, she could have found out, but true to form, he had chosen to walk away without a word. Why had she expected anything different?

  Knowing her focus needed to be on helping Jen right now and not on steamy and confusing thoughts of James, Selena picked up the broom that James had let fall to the floor and began cleaning up. She smiled at Jen. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

  She only wished she believed it herself. There was only one thing she was certain of at this point—it was going to be a long day.

  Chapter 4

  To say the day was long was putting it mildly. By nine o’clock in the morning, the window company had arrived and started making replacements. Meanwhile, Jen got on the phone with her insurance company, and Selena pulled out her laptop to work on making hotel reservations for them. It was loud and chaotic, but there were enough distractions going on that Jen seemed to be feeling a little more in control and a little less emotional.

  By noon, the house was completely back in order, and a casual observer would never have known that anything had happened. Just when she thought things were back on track, Jen’s nervousness and fidgeting returned, telling Selena that her friend was still on edge.

  “We have a two-bedroom suite booked for the next three nights,” Selena said brightly, hoping to lighten the mood. “I can add more nights if you want me to.” She scrolled through the online reservation. “We can book our massages now, if you’d like.” She searched a little more. “The on-site restaurant looks great and the room service menu has all of our necessities—burgers, fries, and milk shakes. And a salad if you feel the need for greenery.”

  Jen shook her head. “That should be fine. We might not even need all three nights. I’m kind of praying I’ll hear from either James or Mike soon that they found Todd.” She paced the small confines of the kitchen as she chewed on her bottom lip.

  “There’s still no guarantee it was him, Jen. This could have been just something random.”

  “You don’t really believe that, do you?” Jen asked incredulously as she pulled a chair out to sit down.

  Selena sighed. She had to admit that no, she didn’t believe it was a random act of violence. “I guess not.” They were sitting at the kitchen table, each lost in their own thoughts, when Selena decided she had to have some answers of her own. The timing may not be ideal, but if they were going to get through the rest of Selena’s visit intact, she had to know the truth. “Why didn’t you tell me you had gone to
see James about this thing with Todd?”

  The look of shock on Jen’s face was almost comical. “Seriously? Why didn’t I tell you? Come on, Selena, just getting you to come home for a reunion—something fun—was a herculean effort. If I had mentioned to you that I had seen James, talked to James, you would have bailed on me.”

  “No I wouldn’t have,” Selena argued.

  Jen rolled her eyes. “Don’t even,” she snapped. “He’s the reason you haven’t come home for so damn long! You know it; I know it. I’m not saying your reasons aren’t valid, but at least be honest with yourself!”

  “Why him?” Selena cried, frustrated with the entire situation. “Of all the police stations in the county, why did you have to go to his?”

  “Honestly? Because the whole damn situation scared the hell out of me. I had been talking to just about everyone I knew about it, and the thought of going to the police, knowing full well there wasn’t going to be much they could do, was overwhelming. When Kent suggested going to see James, I thought that maybe, based on our previous friendship, he’d be more willing to do something.”

  “Are you even part of his precinct?” Selena asked. Jen looked at her oddly. “I mean…in a case like this, it would seem like it would be easier and more efficient to speak to someone in your local police station.”

  “He is,” Jen replied and then paused. “I was actually surprised he worked so close by and that I had never seen him around before. Weird, right?” Her attempt at humor fell flat.

  “You should have told me.”

  “Maybe,” Jen said begrudgingly. “But I wanted you here; I wanted to see you. I had no idea things were going to go like this.”

  “So you weren’t going to try and orchestrate some sort of surprise meet between me and James?”

  “I didn’t say that,” Jen began, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks.

  “Well, even though you didn’t plan it, seeing him was one hell of a surprise,” Selena sighed. “Not a happy one if his reaction was anything to go by.” She went on to share their conversation and subsequent kiss. “I don’t know what he’s so angry about; he was the one who walked away.” She paused. “It’s funny, but even after all these years, I still kept thinking he’d want to come and find me. After the way he reacted tonight, I’m kind of glad he never did.”

  So many things were on the tip of Jen’s tongue, things that would set the record straight, but she knew they were things that had to be hashed out between Selena and James without her getting too terribly involved. She had to be careful and not give too much away. It was important for Selena to finally talk to James, but knowing Selena, she had to do it in her own way and in her own time. Jen just needed to prompt her a little bit.

  “I think you need to talk to him,” she began carefully. “The awkward part is over now; you’ve seen each other, and you’ve had initial contact. It’s been a long time coming; the two of you just need to sit down, talk, and get some closure.”

  “I just don’t understand…”

  “Talk to him, Selena. Trust me.”

  Selena’s eyes narrowed as she looked at Jen. “You know something, don’t you? You know why he left, don’t you?” Her voice rose with each word.

  “Selena…” Jen warned, holding her hands up to defend herself.

  “I need you to be honest with me, Jen. We never really talked about it…except that night. Did you know more than you were telling me?”

  “I don’t think it really matters—”

  “Of course it matters! Am I wrong about what I’ve been thinking? Did something else happen that I didn’t know about?”

  “What difference is it going to make?” Jen asked with frustration.

  “You were my friend, damn it, and you’re sitting here doing your best not to say anything, but I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice that you know more than you’re letting on!” She stood and kicked the chair away from her. “How could you?” she demanded. “You, more than anyone, knew how devastated I was when James left, and you’ve known why and you never told me? Why? Why would you choose to protect him?”

  “It’s not like that! For crying out loud, you need to calm down. You’re getting hysterical over nothing! I’m not saying I know anything about James’s behavior back then. You have to believe me!” she all but begged. “I just think it’s about time the two of you talked. Don’t let this opportunity pass, Selena. You’ll only regret it.”

  Selena wanted to run, to leave and never come back. She had known on some level that she would regret coming home; she just didn’t realize it would be because of Jen betraying her. Maybe she was overreacting; maybe she wasn’t. Her emotions were all over the damn place right now.

  Doing her best to remain composed, she left the kitchen and went down the hall to the guest bedroom. At the door to her room she paused. “I’d like to get checked in at the hotel early. We can grab lunch on the way if you’d like.” She would be the bigger person and see out this damn reunion and put James Montgomery in his place, as well. And then, maybe, finally, she’d have some peace.

  Even if it killed her.

  * * *

  It was several weeks before she saw James again. This time, though, she and Jen were the only ones in the car when they spotted him on their way to lunch.

  “Hey,” she casually said, “isn’t that that guy? You know, Kent’s cousin?”

  “James?” Jen looked out the window. “Yeah, it is. Oh, stop the car and we’ll ask him to lunch!”

  “Are you crazy, Jen? He’s not going to come to lunch with just the two of us!” But it was too late. Jen had rolled down the window and was calling out to him, so Selena had no choice but to stop the car.

  “Hey, ladies,” James said as he walked over. He was in faded jeans and a tight, white T-shirt that clung to what Selena could only describe as the perfect male form.

  Does he ever look bad? she wondered to herself. He’s a landscaper; he’s always sweaty and dirty and he looks better than anything I’ve ever seen. I’d love to…

  “Is that okay with you, Selena?” Jen asked, breaking into her inner dialogue.

  “What? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” She was blushing. Even though her eyes were hidden behind her sunglasses, she wasn’t so sure that James couldn’t tell she had been ogling him.

  “James was just heading to get some lunch and I asked him to join us. Is that okay with you?”

  “Oh, of course, please…hop in.” She felt as if her tongue were the size of her fist and prayed that she didn’t sound awkward to anyone else.

  “Thanks,” he said politely as he climbed into the backseat. Glancing in her rearview mirror, Selena caught him wiping his face down with a red bandana. He caught her eye and smiled.

  Next to her, Jen began talking almost nonstop. Selena wanted to remind her friend to take a breath, but there didn’t seem to be an opportunity. She asked James about his job, and Selena noticed how his face simply lit up when he talked about it.

  “I plan on having my own business eventually and my own crews. I’m going to take some classes at the community college on landscape architecture and design. My boss, Mitch, he’s going to keep me on and teach me as much as he can. But first I have to get my GED.”

  “GED?” Selena asked, brows furrowed.

  James looked down for a moment and then met her gaze in the mirror. “I dropped out of high school when I was sixteen; I’ve been working ever since, but now that I know what I want to do, it’s important to get my high school diploma so I can take the design courses that I want.”

  “Oh,” she said, embarrassed she had brought up the subject.

  When they arrived at their favorite pizza place, Selena was pleasantly surprised when James held the door for them. She supposed it shouldn’t be a big deal, but most of the guys she hung around with weren’t big on manners. �
��Thank you,” she said quietly as she walked by.

  They walked up to the counter to place their orders, first Jen, then Selena. It wasn’t until after she pulled out her wallet that she realized she had no money on her. A trip to the mall the previous evening and a fabulous new sweater had taken care of the little cash she had. After a slightly frantic search, she leaned over the counter and whispered to the cashier that she needed to cancel her order. “I’m sorry,” she said, blushing from head to toe.

  “Don’t worry,” James said, stepping up beside her. “Just add another two slices and a drink for me. I’ve got it,” he said with a wink in her direction.

  “I can’t let you do that,” she began. “It’s okay, really. It won’t kill me to skip a lunch every now and then.” She was going for light and breezy, but she was trembling inside just looking at him and those intense brown eyes.

  “Are you crazy?” he said. “If anything, I want to add more to your order!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded, hands on hips, doing her best to look and sound intimidating.

  James laughed. He actually laughed. “Nothing,” he said with a chuckle. “Easy. It doesn’t take much to get you riled up, does it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s just that you’re tiny, you know? You look like a strong wind could blow you over.” The last was said as he looked her up and down. Again. Slowly.

  Now Selena really was trembling. No one had ever looked at her like that. It felt as if he had physically caressed her, and yet here they were, standing at least two feet apart. Before she could even form a response, he had their food and was walking over to the booth where Jen was waiting. “You coming?” he asked with a lazy smile. She slowly came to her senses and nodded, walking on shaky legs over to the table.