Return to You

by Samantha Chase

  “Such guys,” she said with mock disdain.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Without intending to, he began inching his way toward her.

  “All I’m saying is that if the roles were reversed, I would know exactly what the plan was going to be. Weren’t you the least bit curious?”

  He laughed and found himself stretched out beside her. “No.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because we’re guys! We don’t have to know what the plan is. He said he was going by, so I figured he was going by. End of story. Besides, at that point I was focused on you and why you weren’t answering the phone.”

  “I’m sorry that I worried you,” she said solemnly, stroking her hand across his cheek and down over his still-bare shoulder. “I really didn’t think anyone would notice if I turned my phone off.”

  “I noticed,” he said, his voice low and rough. She was like a magnet, pulling him in, and there was no way to resist. Just one more kiss, one more taste, he told himself, but he knew it was a lie. One kiss and one touch would never be enough. Selena’s arms wrapped around him, securing him to her.

  “I’m calling in late,” he finally said and dove under the sheet with her.

  * * *

  It was harder saying good-bye to James than Selena had expected. They had created a little world for themselves in her hotel room, and she feared that, by opening the door and letting the light of day in, they’d lose the precious ground they had just gained. Fortunately, they both had busy days ahead of them—James with work and Selena with her visit to her grandmother.

  Once James had left and Selena was alone, she allowed herself to feel the first rays of hope. While one night of sex—incredible though it was—was not enough to erase so many years of anger, betrayal, and disappointment…it was a hell of a way to start.

  As she got herself ready for the day, she couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for her. She never could have imagined coming back to Long Island and not only finding James but finding that they still had such a powerful attraction for one another. But was that all it was? A physical attraction? Not wanting to believe that, Selena simply allowed herself the luxury of basking in the afterglow of being well-loved for an entire night—or morning. Whatever the future held, she’d have these memories to hold on to and somehow, she’d make that enough.

  By the time she was ready to leave the hotel, she had made peace with herself. There was no way she could regret her actions of the morning with James. It may not have been the best way for them to reconnect, but she couldn’t find the strength to feel bad about it.

  With a final look in the mirror, she smiled. “You’re looking pretty smug and you deserve to,” she said to her reflection. It was a look she couldn’t remember seeing on herself in a long time—if ever.

  * * *

  Surprising her grandmother wasn’t nearly as traumatic as Jen and James had expected it to be. The sheer delight in her grandmother’s voice had Selena feeling both excited to see her and guilty for waiting so long.

  “Look at you, my sweet girl! You’re beautiful!” Betty Ainsley looked at her granddaughter as tears welled in her eyes. “The last time I saw you, you were a girl. I can’t believe you’re all grown up!” She enveloped Selena in a fierce embrace, and it was a long time before either let go. When they finally did, she showed Selena to her sitting area so they could visit.

  Her grandmother’s description of the last time they were together was a bit of an exaggeration. Selena may not have come back home to visit, but her grandmother had come and stayed with the family many times over the years. It wasn’t until Selena’s parents divorced that their time together became a little less frequent. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you were coming?”

  How could Selena possibly tell her grandmother that she was afraid that if she gave too much notice, her father would find out? The last thing she wanted to do was upset her grandmother, so Selena went another way. “It was a last-minute decision to come to the reunion. I was only going to come for the weekend, but they lost their coordinator so I stepped in to help out.” Describing all of the reunion details filled Selena with pride. It was what she did for a living, and every party, every event was different, and yet they each filled her with excitement. The smile on her grandmother’s face as Selena talked showed that she felt just as much pride as if she’d been in on planning the event right alongside her granddaughter.

  “Aren’t you sweet?” Betty reached out and took one of Selena’s hands in hers. “It sounds like you accomplished quite a lot. Of course, it helps that you love what you do and that you’re very good at it. I was never good at putting together large parties. Just planning holiday dinners and get-togethers used to make me break out in hives,” she said with a chuckle. “This must be something you got from your mother’s side of the family because clearly you didn’t get it from me!” She patted Selena’s hands. “Whatever it is that brought you here, I’m glad. It’s been far too long.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I know I should have made more of an effort. I should have at least called you and told you I’d be here.” Regret laced her tone, and even though she thought her reason was valid, seeing her grandmother’s face made her feel cowardly.

  Her grandmother shrugged. “I just figured you didn’t want me telling your father you were in town.”

  “Oh!” Selena cried, pulling her hand back. “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?” Betty asked innocently.

  “Read my mind! You’ve always been able to do it and it freaks me out!” It truly did, but her words were said with love.

  “My dear, your face gives you away every time. I know better than to invite your father around you; it has to be your choice where he’s concerned.”

  “But he’s your son—”

  “And you’re my granddaughter.” Her tone went from cheery to serious. “I’m not going to make excuses for the things he’s done; he’s his own man, and he has to live with the mistakes he’s made. I just hope that someday the two of you will be able to mend your relationship to the point where you can at least be around one another.”

  “I don’t know, Grandma…”

  “I’m not saying it’s something you have to decide on right now; someday though, you will.”

  “I know you’re right. I hate confrontation.”

  Her grandmother smiled. “Most of us do, sweetheart. Maybe once you come to grips with what happened, you’ll be able to talk to your father without so much bitterness.”

  This was so not the visit she wanted to have. “Enough about me,” Selena finally said. “Tell me about what’s going on with you. Any interesting gentlemen at the bingo table?”

  Luckily, it was all the distraction that was needed.

  * * *

  The days that followed the crash were a blur. People hovered around her as the doctors poked and prodded her battered body. Voices were hushed as they talked in broken sentences.

  “…concussion…”

  “…lucky to be alive…”

  “Her arm is set, the ribs will heal on their own…”

  “…baby…lost…miscarriage…”

  It wasn’t until the third day that Selena fully woke up. Jen was sitting next to the bed, and her eyes grew wide when she noticed Selena’s were open. “Oh, thank God! It’s about time! I was so worried about you!” she cried, jumping up from the chair and gently hugging her. “How do you feel?”

  “Tired,” Selena said, her throat sore and dry. “What happened?”

  “A drunk driver ran a light and plowed into you when you were on your way to my house. Oh, Selena, I’m so sorry! I feel terrible! It’s all my fault!” Jen’s words were muffled as she laid her head on Selena’s bed and began to openly weep.

  “A drunk driver ran a light. How is that your fault?” Selena wanted to reach out and to
uch her friend’s shoulder, but her limbs felt like they were filled with lead.

  “I was supposed to drive. You said you really didn’t want to, that you were tired, but I whined and you caved and said you’d come and get me. I was being lazy, and because of me, you’re here!”

  “Stop,” Selena said. The effort to put a little force behind the word made her entire body ache. “The way I see it, neither of us is to blame.” She took a moment to catch her breath and force her body to relax. “What happened to the driver of the other car?”

  “Jail. And not a scratch on him, the rat bastard.”

  “Good. I mean that he’s in jail, not that he walked away without a scratch.” At that moment, her parents came rushing in.

  “Oh, thank God. Jerry, look! She’s awake!” Her mother was elated and started fussing over her immediately. “We were so scared, baby! Look at you, my baby girl. To think we almost lost you!” She continued to talk and adjust Selena’s blankets and hair, thankful that her daughter was finally awake. Selena noticed her father standing silently in the background, his arms folded. He had the military stance she dreaded.

  “Hi, Daddy,” she said quietly. If there was one thing Selena knew about her father, it was how you could read his mood by the way he stood. Right now she could tell he was furious, but for the life of her, she had no idea as to why. Was he angry at her for getting into a car accident? Even one that wasn’t her fault? Sometimes, it didn’t seem to matter who was at fault; sometimes he just wanted to be mad.

  “Selena,” he said curtly with a nod.

  Her parents exchanged an odd look, and her mother hissed, “Not now, Jerry,” but he clearly had something to say.

  “The doctors said you’re going to be fine. Your recovery will take several weeks, but beyond that, you shouldn’t have any lingering issues. You were very fortunate.” He stepped closer to the bed, and Selena felt an overwhelming sense of dread. “Your arm is broken as well as several ribs—probably from the force with which you hit the steering wheel. I don’t know why the airbags didn’t deploy. We’ll have to talk to a mechanic and possibly the manufacturer about that, and we may have to file a lawsuit.”

  “Jerry,” her mother warned again as she straightened and began to twist her hands nervously.

  “You’ve got a concussion, and the cut on your head required some stitches, but there shouldn’t be a scar. You’ll have a headache for a couple of days to be sure.” He shifted his position a little and then slowly walked all the way toward her; his expression was full of anger. “Your bruises will heal up in time. You’ll be stiff for a while but—”

  “Jerry, please!”

  “But your baby died.” There. He’d said it. He stared down at her, almost daring her to deny it. Selena placed a shaky hand to her stomach but wouldn’t allow herself to cry in front of them. Especially not in front of her father. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of watching her fall apart; he’d only use it later to remind her of her weakness. Her father turned and started to leave the room. “It’s all for the better, Selena,” he said in that authoritative tone that no one was allowed to argue with. “That boy actually thought you’d give up going to school and a real future to marry him! A common dirt digger!” He turned and looked at her one last time. “Over my dead body.” The door slammed behind him.

  “Selena, sweetheart,” her mother started as she began fussing with the blankets again.

  “Please don’t say anything, Mom.” She looked at her hands as they lay on her belly. Her baby was gone. It never even had a chance. Everything inside of her felt hollow, and she ached with the loss. “Where’s James?” she finally asked, turning to Jen who, in turn, looked to Mrs. Ainsley. “Jen? Where is he?”

  “Your dad threw him out of here the night of the accident. He…he…” She once again looked at Selena’s mom and waited for her approval. “He told James that you got rid of the baby, and then he threatened to have him arrested if he didn’t leave.”

  “No!” Selena cried as she tried and failed to sit up. “Tell me it isn’t true!” She turned to her mother and felt sick at the look on her face.

  “I’m afraid so,” she said helplessly. “The boy wouldn’t be reasonable, Selena. You have a bright future ahead of you! College. A career. This relationship,” she said the word as if it left a bad taste in her mouth, “was temporary. James Montgomery isn’t the type of boy you marry. You’ll go to school and meet a man with a future. You can do better than him. In time, you’ll see that.” She went to adjust Selena’s blanket again, but Selena shoved her hands away.

  “I want to be alone.”

  “But—”

  “Please, Mom. Just go.” When Jen stood up, Selena shook her head. She waited until her mother was gone before kicking the blankets away and trying once again to sit up. “Where is he, Jen? Have you seen him? Get me the phone! I have to call him!”

  “It’s too late, Selena,” Jen said sadly as she tried to stop her from climbing from the bed and hurting herself any further. “Please, just stay in the bed. You’re hurt and you shouldn’t be up. You’re not going to find him.”

  “What? What do you mean?” Shakily, Selena slid from the bed and tried to stand up.

  “He’s gone,” Jen said. “He left town after the police escorted him from the hospital. Even Kent doesn’t know where he went. I’m so sorry. I tried to find him; I wanted to talk to him for you and make him understand the way your dad is. I’ve looked everywhere. I even went and talked to his boss. No one knows where he is.”

  The room spun as Selena fell to the floor.

  Chapter 7

  It turned out that the early-bird dinner was, indeed, at four o’clock, and when Jen called at five, Selena was already walking to her car after kissing her grandmother good-bye. “Did you have a good visit?” Jen asked.

  Selena was a little teary. “She seems so much older than I remembered. As I was walking out the door, she said ‘I’ll see you’ and I can only hope that we will. I have to make more of an effort!” She was kicking herself. All of the years she worked so hard to just to keep herself sane and her heart safe, and she never realized how that affected those she loved the most. “We had a wonderful afternoon together, though. She showed me all around the complex and I met all of her friends and for a minute or two, I felt like some sort of show pony that she was showing off!” They both laughed. “Anyway, it was a wonderful day and I’m glad that I came. Thank you for convincing me to come up here, Jen.” It wasn’t even hard to admit it. “So what about you? How was your day?”

  “I feel like I have run a marathon. Twice,” Jen said, and her voice sounded like it. “There are times that my kids are the absolute best, and days when…”

  “They are the worst?” Selena finished for her with a small laugh.

  “This was one of those days. Honestly, it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes I wonder why I wanted to become a teacher. The pay isn’t all that great, and the students certainly don’t appreciate me. I mean, no one even listens to me half the time.”

  “I’m sorry. But, if it makes you feel any better, I listened. I took your advice, and James and I are meeting up tonight to finally talk.”

  “Oh-my-god, oh-my-god, oh-my-god!” Jen squealed over the phone. “That is wonderful! I’m so excited for you! When? Where? What are you going to wear? Do you need me to come over and help you get ready? Was he sorry about standing you up? Did he have a good reason? This is the best news!”

  Selena pinched the bridge of her nose and counted to ten in her head, as was becoming a habit when dealing with her best friend. “That’s a lot of questions, Jen.”

  “I know, I know… I’m just so excited for you! It’s about time. When did you talk to him? Did he explain why he didn’t show up yesterday? Was he on a case? Did he get all moody when you asked him where he was? Oh my gosh, tell me everything!”

  There was no
way she was going to do that; Selena was still trying to process it all herself. Their night together, and their morning, was like something out of a dream. She still felt the need to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming. What they had shared was private, and as much as she loved Jen, this was something that, for now, she was going to keep to herself.

  “There’s not a whole lot to tell,” Selena said casually, hoping to keep her tone neutral so as to not send up any red flags that Jen would certainly see. “You know, he called, he apologized for not showing up, yes, he was on a case, and we agreed to meet up tonight once he was off work. No big deal.”

  Silence.

  “Jen? Are you there?”

  “I’m sorry, I think I dozed off. That was the most boring story I ever heard. I can only hope you will have something better to share tomorrow when you call and tell me everything.”

  “I make no promises,” Selena said lightly. “Now enough about me. What about you? How was last night? Anything…strange happen? Any…visitors?”

  Silence again.

  “Jen?”

  There was a loud huff on the other end. “Actually, there was. I was sitting watching TV, all of the blinds were closed, all of the doors and windows were locked, and I was feeling pretty secure when there was a knock on the door around ten.”

  “Wow…that was late. Who was it?” Selena tried to keep the amusement out of her voice but couldn’t seem to help herself.

  “From the tone of your voice I’m thinking that you already know! Spill it! What did James say? I knew there was more to your conversation with him than that boring load you just fed me! I can’t believe you’re holding out on me! Tell me everything. What exactly did James say about Mike’s feelings about me?”

  Selena burst out laughing. “Nothing! James didn’t say anything, not really. All he said was that Mike mentioned he was going to check on you. It wasn’t clear if he was just going to do a drive-by or actually stop in and talk to you. I’m guessing it was the latter.”

  “You would be correct.”