Into dark water

by Regina Bartley

  “I need a tutor. I’m failing, and I won’t graduate if you don’t help me. I can’t go to school another year.” The sound of my voice was foreign. It was the sound of helplessness. She knew it too, because her face softened. I didn’t want to be stuck in that school any longer than I had to. I hated showing her of all people my vulnerability, we weren’t friends and barely acquaintances, but I needed her.

  “So you’re telling me that there wasn’t a single other person in school that you could ask for help. Why did you have to come to me?” Her voice was laced with disappointment. I just rolled my eyes.

  “Quit being so dramatic.”

  She moved in closer to me. “Find someone else,” she said through gritted teeth. Then she turned to walk back into the house.

  Grabbing her arm, I stopped her before she made it inside. “Wait.” Desperation was thick in my words.

  She turned to face me, her eyes glaring into mine. “Please. I really need your help.” I couldn’t believe I said the word please. I hated begging, in fact I truly sucked at it, but I needed this girl.

  She looked down at my hand that was still wrapped around her arm, then back up at me. I hadn’t released her because I was afraid she’d run. Nothing was said, just the glare of our eyes as they locked on each other. I could almost see through her icy blue eyes, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell what she was thinking.

  “She’d love to help you, Draven.” Mrs. Pearson’s voice broke our silent stare off as she called out from inside the house.

  I smiled showing all my teeth and winked at her. I wanted to taunt her so badly.

  She was thoroughly pissed off. “Meet me after school tomorrow.” She growled out the words like she was chewing on dirty nails.

  “Sure thing Jenny Baby,” I whispered as I left her standing there on the porch. She yelled Bite Me as I walked towards my car, and I doubled over in a fit of laughter. That was hilarious.

  But I’d take her up on her offer if she looked like that every day.

  Jenny

  “I was so upset with her that I was two seconds away from throwing a tantrum like a two-year-old,” I confessed to Lo. All morning long I’d been ranting about how my mom threw my right under the bus.

  She draped an arm over my shoulder. “It won’t be so bad, I bet. Just help the poor guy pass, and he’ll leave you alone.”

  “Easy for you to say, you don’t have to deal with him.”

  “At least you’ll have something pretty to stare at?” She said it like it was question. Like I didn’t know that Draven Lepage was hot. So what if he was? He was like a forbidden piece a fruit. If you bit into him, you’d likely die a slow painful death.

  “Call me tonight when it’s over, and I’ll bring over ice cream. We can eat it out of the carton while we binge watch Netflix.”

  I could handle a reward like that. “Fine. But keep your phone on in case something terrible happens and I need you.”

  “What could you possibly need me for? If it’s CPR then let Mr. Hottie McDimple face handle it. You’ll be fine.” She winked. Her sarcastic wit was one of the many reasons I loved her so much, but she always picked the exact wrong time to chime in.

  “How are we even friends?” I called after her.

  “Have fun.” She waved.

  Turning back to face the school, I waited for Draven to grace me with his presence. I was giving him exactly five minutes, and then I was calling the whole thing off.

  It sounded good in my head anyway.

  The parking lot was starting to empty and there was no sign of him. Maybe it was my lucky day. Maybe he found someone else to tutor him, and I’d be off the hook. Oh, if only life could be that easy. All these years I had managed to steer clear of guys like Draven. I’d only dated a few people and none of them were on the radar at this high school. I preferred it that way. I just wanted to get out of this place unscathed, with no one talking about me. As small as this town was, it was hard to go unnoticed. I’m not even sure that I did, but I sure tried. I worked hard to get good grades, to stay out of trouble, and to not get picked on by guys like him. Karma must’ve thought “Hey! There’s a nice young girl. Let’s see what we can do to spice things up.”

  I laughed at the thought. My mind somehow got carried away from me.

  “Screw this.”

  I headed towards my car, not wanting to wait another second for him. It was probably a waste of my time trying to tutor him anyway. If he was anything like his Dad, then the only things he needed to know were the survival skills needed for prison.

  “Jenny Baby, wait!”

  “Stop calling me that.” I didn’t turn around to see his face. I kept on walking towards the back of the parking lot. In the last day, I had managed to get noticed more than I had in my entire four years of high school, and it was ticking me off.

  His hand landed on my door as I yanked it open with force. “You’d think you’d be a little nicer to someone who is helping you, or at least show up on time.” I grated. “It’s no wonder you’re failing. I wouldn’t put up with your crap either. Is this how you act in class? Do you even do the work? Hell, do you even go to class?”

  “Finished?” He asked, and the simple tone of his voice made me want to claw out his eyeballs. “Sorry,” he sputtered the word.

  “If we’re doing this, then you better get in the car.” My voice was more of a growl. I wanted to just leave him standing there in the parking lot. I seriously thought about it. Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure why I told him to get in the car. We should’ve stayed right there at school where there were witnesses to see what we were doing. It was going to cause even more drama driving away with him in the passenger seat. Within an hour rumors would spread that we were running off to raise our love child.

  The sound of his door closing meant it was too late for that, so I sped off in a hurry.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “What?” I glanced over at him.

  “You’re moody, so I just figured you were hungry. Chicks get angry when they’re hungry. There’s even a word for it. Hangry. Are you hangry Jenny?” He shot me a panty-dropping smile. Lucky for me, and unlucky for him, my panties remained firmly in place thank you very much.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Or maybe you’re just sexually frustrated.”

  Without even thinking, I slung the back of my hand towards his face connecting with his cheek. I backhanded him. It happened so fast that I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I’d never hit anyone ever. At least not like that.

  I pulled the car over quickly to the side of the road nearly getting the backend of my car smashed up by the truck that was behind us in my swift maneuver.

  Draven didn’t say a word. He had recoiled back in his seat and was staring at me. It all happened so fast, and I felt like the biggest ass. I couldn’t believe I did that. Both my hands moved quickly to my face, covering my mouth and nose. What the hell was I thinking? That wasn’t like me at all, and I felt sick to my stomach. I hit him. Who was I?

  “I’m so sorry, Draven. Seriously. I…”

  He shook his head no while his hand rubbed the red mark across his cheek. “It’s okay. It was my fault. I deserved it. Sometimes I say things before I think.”

  “No!” I shook my head back and forth. “It wasn’t your fault. I’ve never done that before. I’ve never even hit my little brother. It was like a reflex, and I swear I didn’t mean it. I feel horrible.” And I did. Sure he probably deserved it for his smart mouth, but I hit him. I freaking hit him right in the face.

  “Really. It’s no big deal,” he responded, but I felt like he was lying. His whole demeanor changed. “Let’s just start over.”

  “Start over?” My heart was racing and I felt like I might cry. I was so ashamed of my actions. What he’d said was a joke, and I knew that. There was no excuse for what I’d done.

  “Yeah. We’re good. Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen.”

  I was surprised at how subtle
he was about the whole thing.

  “Okay,” I said, but my voice was hesitant.

  The car ride was silent all the way to my house, and it wasn’t sitting right with me. I could tell something was bothering him, or maybe he was just afraid if he said anything else that I’d hit him again.

  That wasn’t going to happen. I’d never intentionally do that to anyone, and I would never do that again. EVER! Some freaking alien took over my body, or it might’ve been raging hormones. I couldn’t be sure. Maybe it was just the fact that Draven affected me in a way nobody else did.

  He made me crazy. Yeah, that was it.

  When we pulled up in the driveway, I told him to wait before getting out of the car.

  “I feel like a total ass. Seriously. You haven’t said a word, and I know that it’s bothering you.” I wished desperately for a rewind button so I could do that moment over again.

  “What do you want me to say?” His tone was clipped. His demeanor was completely off kilter. Just ten minutes ago he was all, sarcastic and butt-face like. He was his normal self. “It’s cool. I said it’s cool. Now can we get this over with?”

  That sounded a little more like him. “That’s the best you got?” I glared at him through my heavy lashes. The guy known for his quick wit, and smart mouth was a little short on words.

  His stare was blank. When his eyes narrowed, I wasn’t sure what was about to come out of his mouth. “Yesterday,” he paused for a second. “Yesterday, when you came down the stairs.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I could see your nipples through your bra.”

  My mouth dropped open and he laughed as he stepped out of the car. My face flamed red, and I remembered why I loathed him.

  Ugh, this was going to be a long night.

  Leave it to me to overreact about his earlier reaction. The guy didn’t have a sympathetic bone in his body. Remorse or weakness wasn’t possible when it came to Draven.

  Inside the house, I found a note on the kitchen counter that said Mom was at the grocery and she’d be back later. Dad didn’t get off work until around six o’clock, and Trevor was going home with his friend Owen after school. So the house was officially empty, and I was alone with Draven.

  Draven

  I almost sank back into my childhood ways. Submission to an abuser was second nature for me. My Dad used to smack me around a lot, and it was like an instinct to retract and retreat. It all stopped around the time I turned fifteen. I could come and go as I pleased, and I never came home when he was awake. Then when he went to jail a few months ago, I quit worrying about him altogether. The sorry piece of shit was right where he needed to be.

  I knew that Jenny only hit me because I was running my mouth, and honestly I barely felt it. It just took me by surprise. I didn’t see it coming and I reacted the same way I used to when my Dad hit me. I sank back and blacked out. It would’ve taken a jackhammer’s force to hurt me though.

  I wouldn’t show weakness again.

  “Where do you want to do this?” I asked, creeping up to her. Her blonde hair was pulled up in some messy contraption on her head and I could see the small curve of her neck where it met her shoulder. There was a fuss about this girl that I never even realized. The guys wanted her and I could see why, as I drank her in. My eyes slowly made their way down her backside from top to bottom. Dating wasn’t my thing, and even if it was, she wasn’t my type. But I could see myself getting tangled in the sheets with this one.

  “Table,” she said pointing to her left.

  “Pity,” I said raising an eyebrow. “I was hoping we could study in your room.”

  Her head jerked to the left in my direction as I was setting my backpack on the table, and I smirked at her. She wanted me back to myself, so I was.

  She sat down next to me at the table and took out her books. “What classes are you needing help in?”

  “All of them.”

  “What?” She snapped.

  “I’m failing them all. Well, the ones that matter anyway.”

  “You can’t possibly expect me to believe that you’re failing every class. There’s no way you can catch up.”

  “The counselor said I just needed a D to pass,” I explained. “All you have to help me do is pull off D’s in every one of them, and I’m good to go.”

  She threw her head back laughing. “Really,” she said, speaking to the air above her, like someone was up there listening. Maybe she was one screw short up top, but I couldn’t be picky or choosy. The counselor recommended three people and she was at the top of the list, and the only one I could tolerate for more than five minutes. “It’s going to be a long night, and don’t expect me to work miracles. I’m not doing the work for you. If you fail then it’s your fault.” Her voice was indifferent as she reached for a pencil out of her bag.

  I wasn’t expecting some handout if that’s what she was thinking. I just wanted to pass the classes so I could graduate.

  No one thought I could do it.Hell, I was beginning to have doubts myself. But Mrs. Granville, the school counselor, told me that she didn’t want to see me back there again next year. I realized then that I didn’t want to go back either. I was going to pass and get out, or drop out.

  Either way, I wasn’t going back.

  We spent the next hour working on one class. Just one.

  My head was in a cloud of fog. I hadn’t studied that much in my entire life. The past ten minutes of her talking had gone in one ear and out the other.

  “I need a break,” I said interrupting her.

  “Fine.”

  I stood up from the table and stretched out. My legs were cramped up from sitting so long in one position. “Can we go outside for a minute?” I asked.

  She nodded, and led the way out back through a sliding glass door in the kitchen. I remember thinking that this was one of the nicest places I’d been to, and seeing that backyard confirmed it. We stepped out onto a large covered back deck that led to a fenced in back yard. There was a cobblestone pathway leading to a large Jacuzzi and a seating area that probably held ten people. It was nice, far nicer than anything I could’ve ever imagined for myself. If she could see where I lived she’d probably shit her pants. There was no way to describe it. It was the exact opposite of her place.

  I’m surprised the girl even let me inside her house. If it weren’t for her mother, she probably wouldn’t. It made me want to laugh when I thought about how filthy I must’ve seemed to her.

  “You want something to drink?” She asked, snapping me out of my gaze.

  “Sure.”

  “What do you like?”

  “Anything,” I replied.

  I picked a spot on the edge of the porch and sat down, not bothering to sit on the chairs. They looked too nice for company like me. She was probably looking out the kitchen window now, wondering if I was about to steal something.

  I snickered. This stuff was far too fancy for me.

  Her feet stopped next to me and she took a seat, handing me a bottle of Mt. Dew. “You’re going to need this to keep up your strength if you’re already tired after an hour. I figured you’d have more stamina than that.”

  “Making jokes huh?” My eyes caught the way her chest moved when she stifled a laugh. “You think I don’t know what your big words mean?”

  “Actually, I knew you would. You’re smarter than you let on.”

  “Right?” I rolled my eyes. “And you can tell that after one hour of tutoring?”

  “Yeah Einstein, I can.” She narrowed her eyes on me and squished her nose.

  “You’re so smart that you think you can read me like one of your fancy books. You don’t know me.” I countered, bristling. I hated people trying to get close to me. I didn’t want people to know me. The real me, I mean. I didn’t care what people thought of “the me” I projected to the world, but my core, the person I was deep down that was harder to let out.

  “And you don’t know me.” Her words were harsher this time. “Let’s get b
ack to work.”

  I followed her back inside. There was a chill in the room as we continued to work. She didn’t try to crack any more jokes, and I used one-word responses to answer everything. Quite frankly, it was more like a fiery inferno rather than a chilly snow bank. I hated this idea of tutoring. The more I sat there the more aggravated I got. I was ready to go home, have a cigarette, and blow off some steam.

  The front door made a loud sound as someone came in the house.

  “I should go,” I said; ready to use any opportunity to escape.

  “We’ve barely put a dent in this work.” She waved her hand around the table.

  “Tomorrow,” was all I said as I gathered my things.

  “Maybe I have plans,” she countered with a sassy twist of her head. This chick didn’t take any shit from me, and I kind of loved it. I shook my head and laughed under my breath, because we both knew that it was a joke. Jenny kept to herself.

  “You leaving, Draven?” Mrs. Pearson asked as she walked into the kitchen.

  “Yeah. We’re studying again tomorrow,” I explained. I didn’t bother looking over my shoulder at Jenny; I could feel the hard stare at my back.

  “Okay dear. See you tomorrow.” She said sweetly as I walked out the door. Stuffing my crap in the trunk, I headed towards home.

  The cigarette hit my lungs and I felt suddenly relaxed. It was a sweet release, expensive, but sweet.

  I’d run out of money a couple of months ago, and had been living solely on the money I got from selling some of Dad’s stuff. I got rid of his bedroom furniture, and the kitchen appliances, some of his fishing stuff, and even his gold chain that was hanging from his bedpost. He wouldn’t need it. He was serving a life sentence, and I’d never see his ass again. Besides, I didn’t need or want anything that reminded me of him. He didn’t deserve for me to remember him.

  After paying rent, and electricity, the money had quickly run out. The apartment barely had anything left in it. The one bedroom we had was empty aside from my Dad’s clothes, and the living room only had a couch and television that I kept sitting on the floor. I didn’t have cable, but I liked the static noise when I went to sleep at night.