"Oh, it won't be off-white," said Shane.
"Of course it's off-white. Are you guys colorblind?"
That stopped all work on the walls and flooring and while they each sent her a look of disbelief, they turned their stare towards Ciarán to correct the problem so they could continue to work. Katie was still new to the family and wedded bliss, but it was obvious to her that each man in the room expected Ciarán to discuss behavior with his wife. Not to mention, she was sure, respect and gratefulness—and she was, but she was also perturbed. Ciarán reached for her arm as Liam began to walk by on his way out the door to check on Jocelyn.
"Has it not occurred to you that any of you could use your phone to ask me first and save the steps or did you think my opinion didn't matter? And you," she continued, "could use your phone to check on Jocelyn instead of bothering her all day. I am sure she is fine and doesn't need you to hover over her continually." Once the words erupted, her hands flew to her mouth wishing them unsaid.
Ciarán took hold of his wife's arm and began to pull her with him when Liam's deep voice, calm and assured cut through the scuffle and said, "What you say is true, Katherine, but I prefer to see my beautiful wife in person to make sure she is actually okay. I believe it is totally my responsibility to take care of her and protect her from those things I can. Therefore, if by me personally checking on her allows her to relax more, and enables me to feel I am providing the care and nurturing she needs, then so be it."
Ciarán, with his arm now around her waist, calmly but firmly led Katie to the truck, loaded her now subdued self into the passenger seat, walked around and climbed in. As soon as the ignition was engaged, heat blasting and Ciarán was backing out of the front drive, Katie started to apologize.
"Ciarán, I'm sorry. I don't know why I was so upset. Everyone is working so hard to complete the house, it doesn't matter what color is on the walls, really. I promise to apologize. Please, Kie, can we just go home?"
"Mo chroí, what is the matter with you? You're talking a mile a minute and are anxious. The guys will get over it if you just apologize, what is going on with you?"
"Ciarán, I just don't want you to be mad at me."
"Sweetheart, there is more to this than that. You have seen me irritated before and I don't scare you, so what else is going on?"
Katie asked in a subdued voice instead of answering, "Where are we going?"
"For a drive so we can talk privately. We will soon be able to be in our own place, but right now, this is the most private outside of our bedroom at Liam's that we can have. Why?"
"I thought maybe we were going to the halfway cabin. Or is talking code for, well, you know," she offered quietly.
"Why would you think… oh, now I understand. You think I am going to warm your cute little butt. Katie, sweetie, you are too focused on that one event. Do you remember what I said about that? Would I do it in anger? Would I not give you full opportunity to talk it out?"
Katie nodded her head and kept it hanging down. "I know you said you wouldn't, but I still worry about it. Ciarán, I disrespected your brothers."
"Your brothers too, and yes, you more disregarded them and their work than disrespected them, except maybe Shane. Shane told you the walls were not going to be off-white. They were putting primer on the walls to prep them for the color. No one has bought the color yet; we are going to do that tomorrow. I have painters to come tomorrow for your color choices for each room and they will come on Monday to paint. After that, we install the final trim and molding and then we are done. We can move in."
"Oh, what have I done? I yelled at them and cut them off. I said they were colorblind!" Katie moaned over the incident. "How am I ever to look at them again and they have done all this work." Tears began to flow and Ciarán pulled into the closed clinic's parking lot to lean over and gently brush her tears away and then caressed her hands held in his.
"Mo chroí, do not worry so. It will be fine. I will go with you and you can apologize at the dinner table tonight. I remember one time Jocelyn was so mad that she peeled whole strips off Cián and me because she was mad at Liam. She ranted and raved for over an hour and finally, I think Liam took her in hand, but truly, that is not what is happening here. Or the time that Caoimhe threw Andrew's iPad out the window because he refused to discuss the wedding with her one night after he had worked a long week and was doing paperwork on his tablet. Andrew educated her on the appropriateness of control and patience.
"Alisha drove to New York City when Shane went to a builder's convention and show because she did not want him to go and he did anyway. He tanned her hide and took her plugs out of her car for a month, making her ask him to go everywhere. See, sweetheart, you are nowhere near the only moody or rash speaking wife we have. We O'Connor men are pretty 'lord of the manor types', as Jos calls us and a bit protective and demanding. However, we love deeply and would never allow anything to stand in the way of our woman's happiness. Besides, if you have not noticed, we like our women spicy. But," Ciarán's tone changed and became firm and corrective, "you will apologize and appreciate the work they have done because it is the least you could do."
"Oh, I know and I will. I feel so damn stupid." The sound of defeat in her tone and the sagging of her shoulders told of her emotions just as clearly as when she put her face in her hands.
"Hey, that kind of language and demeaning conversation is not acceptable. That will get your bottom heated up. I love you; there is nothing but an intelligent, vibrant woman sitting here and she means everything to me. No one gets to trash talk my woman. You are the bhean mo chroí, the woman of my heart, never ever forget that." Leaning into her, he sealed his words with a gentle, cleansing kiss that hopefully would calm her fears, erase her doubts, and restore her belief that they could work out all things.
"I love you, my Irish husband. Let's go home."
That weekend, the brothers returned to their own families and their own lives. While it was the slow season, except for Quinlan, who was busy all seasons, they had been gone a total of a month. And even though the wedding had been in the middle of that with everyone together, each man was eager to return to his family.
The painting was done the next week, inside and out. The following Saturday, after attending a celebration at breakfast, everyone began to help the newlyweds move in. Jocelyn helped Katie organize and put things away in the kitchen, bathroom, and various other areas.
Liam told his wife to sit down multiple times and Jocelyn would sit when he was in the room, but stand when he was not, for she had lots of energy. Katie tried to run interference, but these O'Connor men just would not allow too much of it. The week before, all of Jocelyn's baby things had been delivered. It came after a huge quarrel with Liam about spending too much on the furniture. She was trying to pick out things that were affordable and Liam vetoed every choice until he felt the furniture she was choosing for the nursery would last through all of their babies.
"How many children do you think we are going to have and besides, infants do not care about the quality, but I care about spending your money." Katie agreed but not Ciarán as he sided with Liam when he said his piece on it.
"Well, I care about the quality and I don't care about the money, and since you say it is 'my' money, regardless of the fact that we are married, I choose to get quality." Jocelyn decided to agree but was still irritated. Katie was warned by Ciarán to learn from Jocelyn's experience because he did not want to repeat it. These men!
Now, however, Jos was happy with the choices, pleased with the newly painted nursery, delighted with just about everything. She was busy cleaning, rearranging, and making the nursery pretty for the new arrival. Katie informed Liam that this was known as nesting and she would be delivering any time now. That and the fact that she had a softening cervix and was effacing, Katie expected it any day and so did Doc Ames when he had seen Jocelyn the day before.
Katie had been watching Jocelyn and just as she had finished with the bedroom, Jocelyn sai
d thought she had better go back to the house and rest. Katie asked if she felt okay, and when she was cheerfully assured she just needed rest, Katie watched her new sister go across the field towards her home. Sure that what she was seeing was the very beginnings of labor, Katie got on the phone to call Doc Ames and Liam. She told Liam she was not sure but thought that Jos was in the very beginnings of labor so he should start home within the next half hour knowing that would translate to immediately for the overprotective Irishman. Finally, she decided she would nap with the phone near her because she expected a long night.
Liam came home to a wife whose water had broken and who was lying on the couch with severe cramps. He called Katie to tell her.
"Just let me talk to her," he was told. Another small cramp made Jos wait until it had passed before the women spoke while Liam was hugging his wife to give her support.
She then gave the phone to her husband. "Here, she wants to talk to you."
Liam listened intently to Katie's instructions before hanging up and offering Jocelyn some tea.
"That would be nice, thanks. I'm sorry that I am moody. Get something to eat for yourself, I can't eat and don't feel like it anyway."
"You are just fine. I'll get the tea and grab something, and then we will cuddle, how is that?"
"Mmm, sounds divine." The night progressed.
By 11:00 p.m., the pains were four minutes apart, and in the wee hours of the morning, a precious son was born. Padraig O'Connor was attended by a tired but proud auntie who declared instant love for the little red man. By 4:00 a.m., all family had been called and Liam was telling Katie and Ciarán to go home.
After another ten minutes had been spent arguing with Liam fiercely that she was going to stay, auntie and uncle had left, and all in the Liam O'Connor household were sleeping soundly.
Chapter Three
With the newest addition to the O'Connor clan safely ensconced in the warm embrace of his family, his auntie and uncle began their new life together in their new home. Katie found settling in more calming than anything else had been since Ciarán asked and she had accepted his proposal. They were creating a routine they could relax in comfortably.
After that first week, and Katie had verified that she was not pregnant, they had decided on the birth control injection so they could review their decision every three months. This left them the freedom of expression for the three months in between administrations. They loved little Padraig, or Paddy as he was often called, but they did not want to have his cousin right away. Liam was older than Ciarán by almost ten years and it made sense that he wanted to begin filling his nursery, but Ciarán and Katie had time.
As March progressed to its end, so did the awakening of the ranch for the spring and summer. The activity level began to rise and the amount of work that needed to be done every week escalated. This often left Katie home alone for several hours before her husband walked in the door looking for his shower, dinner, and bed. One night after Ciarán had come home for dinner, leaving again to complete some task he had laid out, Katie noticed how she began to feel a bit lonely and neglected. Actually, if she were honest, she felt horribly lonely and neglected. In her mind, she chided herself and explained very rationally that he was a rancher with great responsibilities.
All of this, combined with the fact that Katie was feeling lonely more evenings than not, she decided that she would have to find herself some distractions and remembered how she loved to go hiking. Once the thought was fully formed and she began to make preparations in her mind to hike to the lake, she remembered that Ciarán said she couldn't go to Trapper Lake alone. Katie could feel the frustration at what she felt were unnecessary restrictions to her movement.
Her mind wandered back to when they had been in their new home almost a week. It was a Saturday and she wanted to go visit a friend outside of Missoula so she made the plan, left a note for Ciarán after he did not answer his phone, and off she went. By the time she had returned, it was almost 8:00 p.m. and she was a bit apprehensive that she had not tried to call Ciarán more than that one time and left the message with a paper note at home.
Ciarán she saw, had attempted to call her and her phone ringer was still on vibrate from work the day before, so she did not hear it as she and her friend shopped and enjoyed the day. As she was getting into her car, she saw she had received a voice message that was ominous in its deliverance. Ciarán was not happy with her and he clearly stated she was to call him back as soon as she discovered he had called. He also expected some explanation as to why she was not home and had not discussed the trip before going. His voice was controlled and quiet, which unnerved her more than if he had been openly angry.
Katie drove into the driveway, having made the decision not to call him because she did not want to feel more anxious than his message made her already. As she got out of the car, she saw the front door open and her husband, who seemed to have grown in stature since she left that morning, was standing in the doorway. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, did some self-talk, and went up the front steps.
"Hi, sweetie, are you hungry? Do you want me to whip you up something?" Katie hoped her voice was conveying a message of nothing out of the ordinary, as though she was always going for the day without communicating directly with her husband.
Ciarán stepped aside before answering, "I made myself some soup and had a sandwich so I'm good."
Then they fell silent, Ciarán waiting for Katie to speak and she was nervously boiling water for tea that she desperately needed to calm her nerves. Nerves that were on hyper-overdrive.
"Good, but I can make you something more substantial if you need it, or some dessert. We have some peach cobbler I can warm up for you. What do you say?"
"I won't turn down cobbler. Do you have enough water in there for two cups?"
"You bet."
She tried to still her nerves as she heated his cobbler and made two cups of tea. His silence was so hard to handle. When they sat down to eat cobbler and drink tea, Ciarán reached over, covered her left hand with his right hand, and said, "So, where did you go today?" He looked straight into her eyes and Katie felt as though she were frozen in place.
"Missoula. I told you that in the message that I left on your phone and on the note I left you." Katie's ears smarted with the way the words came out sounding too defensive. "Sorry, I guess I am just tired."
Ciarán seemed eager to respond to that statement and Katie was immediately sorry she had used it as an excuse. She felt she needed to offer something and had jumped too quickly.
"Then maybe you should have come home earlier."
Still quiet and still non-judgmental, his words conveyed his thinking clearly and she had given him the opening he needed to say it.
"Well, you know women when they get together. Time seems to fly, and we don't notice until too much of it has flown by."
Ciarán seemed to be weighing his words as though he wanted to make sure the response he received from them was the one he was aiming for.
"Did you get my message?"
There it was, a direct question; did she dare answer in any way but truthfully? No, they had often talked about the importance of honesty and integrity in their relationship; she was not going to go against what she earnestly believed in. Well, usually.
Taking a slow, deep breath, she answered, "Yes, I got it. Not when you were calling, but later on after I discovered that the volume on my phone was turned to vibrate. I checked it and listened to your message, but thought I would be home before you were done with your day and it would be no big deal. I lost track of time." Katie had a hitch in her voice. "Sorry. I know that was inconsiderate of me." She shrugged her shoulders slightly and ventured a crooked smile, "I guess I didn't consider your feelings very much. I suppose I was a bit upset because I was lonely. I know it isn't your fault, but I kind of held you responsible." She lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kie. It was selfish and immature of me."
Silence permeated the room
for a few moments before her husband answered. "Do you feel too isolated? Have I led you to think you shouldn't be with your friends?"
Katie was surprised that he had said that. "Oh, no. It isn't that at all, I don't want you to think that is true. I love living here and I love you. I don't have any problems with that. I guess I miss you when you work such long hours, and while I understand, my mood doesn't always agree. I am truly sorry to have not tried to keep calling you until I spoke to you. Will you please forgive me?" Her voice trembled a bit with the emotions she was feeling.
"Come here, mo chroí." He reached out his arms to Katie, inviting her to be enveloped in his warmth and love.
"Why aren't you angry with me, Ciarán? I mean, I would have been."
"Oh, lómhara, I was. Then I decided that I was probably overreacting and that you were a grown woman with needs that you were just trying to satisfy. That reminded me that I was irritable when you were working longer hours when flu season was in full force. And that I was irrationally resentful when you went to help deliver those twins on a Sunday, leaving me alone at home to thump around by myself."
"Oh, I didn't want to be upset with you, I just wanted to feel not so dependent on you. It makes me feel weak and out of control."
"Mo ghrá, I want you to depend on me, but not feel dependent as in, have no control. We are new at this and will get better in time. I don't want to leave you alone too much and so I promise to try to make it home by around six at night. I'll also try not to put too much pressure on you to be on a short leash. In return, you need to promise not to take off without talking to me first."
Ciarán reached up, held her chin firmly, and put some of his familiar, authoritative tone of voice in his words. "And I don't mean my voice mail, or on a note. I want face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversation. I was beginning to get worried because I had not heard from you. I would have started calling around soon. I just wanted to make sure nothing had happened. If I had gotten to that point, the reception, even if I had understood before, would have been a much different one, my wife. I would have leaned toward a blushing bottom."
Rancher's Creed (Ciaran O'Connor Book 2) Page 4