Rancher's Creed (Ciaran O'Connor Book 2)

by Alyssa Bailey

  Ciarán meant business and his face communicated just that. It was hard and unyielding, hazel eyes flashing gray-green and his whole body was poised to react. This was Ciarán in a hurt and angry state. It was easily the most dangerous mood to be on the other side of. The only worse emotion that could have been added was if he were afraid for someone he loved. That would be the holy trinity of destruction. No one survived that particular Ciarán unscathed. Katie knew it was her fault. She had hurt him because he wanted to protect her and walk with her through her problems as she wanted to do for him and she had deprived him; no refused him the chance. But to be honest, she had not connected all the dots herself before today.

  The last few months had proven to her that she was not always the self-sufficient, independent, confident person she wanted to believe she was. She desperately needed her husband who held her, comforted her, and read her thoughts. He had a knack of interpreting her feelings better than she could and knew just what to do to right her world. Instead of clinging to him desperately, she pushed him outside and locked the entrance to her life. No wonder he was angry because he should be.

  With tears streaming down her face, Katie looked up into her husband's still sparking eyes, and whispered, "I don't know if I would have told you, but I was wrong. I was selfish and pushed you out when I should have been dragging you in. I know I hurt you and you are angry, but I don't know how to fix this."

  And the torrent of tears came and with it, a break in Ciarán's anger. He was still very hurt and they would address that, but right now, his Katie was asking for help, really for the first time, and he would be damned if he would ignore it.

  Gathering her into the safe haven of his arms, he lifted his wife to take her to the sofa and leaned back, bringing her with him, cuddling her, running his hand through her hair and comforting her with soft words of endearment. He settled back to wait out the tears she needed to expel. He allowed his anger to fall away, slowly and completely while he comforted his bhean lómhara.

  Later he would address the hiding of her real feelings, the lack of trust she had shown him, and show her just how much she had hurt him. Later he would discuss the agreement to be honest and to share their burdens. Then, later still, they would consider his need to be a part of her thoughts, not every little thought, but the important ones, and that she needed to lean on him.

  This little one had a long way to go to get past his list of upsets over this, but they would get there. He would insist on it, and then they would deal with her guilt and shame at leaving him out, trying to do this without him and avoiding him. However, right now, he would hold her, love her, comfort her, and give her some peace for it had been an overbearing burden.

  A good time later, Katie roused and found she was lying on her husband's chest, warm and hard, listening to his even breaths. Had she fallen asleep, had he? It took her a moment to reorient herself to where she was and what had happened to get them to this spot, warm, cuddled and securely embraced in her husband's arms and the memory made her jerk up.

  Quickly, as though he had not been napping, Ciarán tightened his hold on Katie and said in a low voice, "Hold on, honey, relax, I've got you."

  Katie relaxed for a moment and then said, "As much as I love being here, Kie, I need to go to the powder room."

  "Your face looks beautiful."

  "Huh? No, the bathroom, I need to go to the toilet."

  Ciarán laughed his deep, sexy laugh and let her up. It was Katie's cue that things would be all right with them. She knew there would be more to cover on this, and she knew her husband would not let it go. She knew she would also have a price to pay, but it would all be worth it if she could get this whole thing done with and her life back breathing clean air.

  When she returned from relieving herself, combing her hair and straightening her shirt, Ciarán had a bottle of water for her and he had iced tea. When he looked up at her, his smile was gone but so was the thunderous anger. What it had left behind was a grim and determined face that she knew was her due after what he had discovered and felt. Taking the bottle offered to her, she sat next to him where he indicated, not daring to challenge him on such a small thing when she might have to challenge him on bigger issues soon.

  Katie decided she needed to be the one to start, so she did.

  "Honey, I am so sorry for what I did and didn't do." She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. "I don't know how to fix this, how to make it up to you."

  Ciarán sat for a moment, drinking his tea and looking at his wife. She meant more to him than any other single person in his life and yet, he just didn't know her as well as he should. Therefore, he began to explain his hurt feelings, his expectations, his desires, dreams, and thoughts on the concerns she had specifically. He talked about the relationship he wanted, needed, expected, and would always demand from her as well as himself. Katie, as she was wont to do, tried to challenge him on the expectations, but Ciarán did not lessen his even tone, nor did he soften it either. He kept firm to his course and soon, tears were streaming again down Katie's face, but no torrent came. She felt shame for her treatment of her husband, her lover, her protector.

  Finally, Ciarán was silent and Katie filled the gap by saying, "So, how do I fix this between us, Kie? I feel so bad like it isn't finished. Please help me."

  "Tell me how to help you."

  Ciarán's voice had begun to have that tenderness return and Katie longed for the full Ciarán to reappear. She sat for a moment, so forlorn but thinking and finally, she lifted her head to Ciarán, made eye contact, and then lowered her eyes.

  Not quite believing she was saying this to her husband, she said, "Spank me, Ciarán."

  Ciarán leaned in and was sure he heard her but just could not believe his ears.

  "Honey, I know what I thought you said, but I don't know if you actually said it. I'm sorry, but you are going to have to repeat yourself."

  Katie took a deep breath and let it out slowly, new determination in her voice as she repeated, "I said, spank me. I deserve it and I think it would make my guilt go away."

  Ciarán reached over and placed a finger under his wife's chin, lifting it and encasing her chin when she would resist. "Eyes on me, lómhara, do you know what you are asking?"

  Katie licked her lips and bit the bottom lip, hard.

  "That is my lip to bite, not yours. Stop, you are drawing blood. Answer my question; do you know what you are asking me?"

  She nodded her head.

  "I have to hear you, love. I need to know you are asking me to spank you and you know what that means. It won't be a few well-placed swats to warm up the play. This isn't a slap for attention. This spanking will be some hard swats to erase your guilt and all the rubbish this mess has left behind. This will not just sting, it will hurt. Talk to me, Katherine."

  Katie heard what he had called her, 'Katherine,' which meant he was serious and she needed to respond.

  Looking him in the face, Katie said, "I know that this would not be a bottom warming, but a butt burning. It would not be for demonstration, for attention, for fun, but for clearing the air, making things right for me, and between you and me. It will help to take my emotional guilt and pain away for not handling this right, as I should have."

  Ciarán added a bit more. "As far as you and I are concerned, we are good. You know that, right? I have lectured myself dry, talked it out, and settled the ground. If you want me to do this, it is for your settling, not mine. Are we clear on that?"

  "Yes, we are clear."

  "Okay, sweetness, drape your loveliness over my knees. Now, no kicking me, hitting me, or putting your hands in the way of this spanking. I don't want you to get hurt."

  "I promise."

  Nodding his head, Ciarán unbuckled his belt and settled her in, lifted her shirt, and lowered her shorts. Katie had a sharp intake of breath and the telltale swhish of his belt's liberation from its residence in his pants. Ciarán reassured her before pinning her legs between his muscular thigh
s.

  "Give me your right hand, I don't trust it. Sorry, sweetie, you just worry me about getting in the way." He began to rub her bottom, sending warmth and ripples of what it was like when they made love and he added the love spanks to the foreplay. Before she could expect it, a swat hit her butt. Not a hard one, more of a warm up and Ciarán followed it with more rubbing, and more warmth radiated. Swat. Swat. Two more without a break, followed by more vigorous rubbing that was not as comforting as the first ones were.

  Next, a hard smack that astounded her landed on her bottom. It was followed by two more before she could prepare for them, bringing some tears to the forefront. Ciarán began to lecture. As he spoke calmly, he pounded on her now aching bottom. Tears started to form in her eyes carrying her guilt. She felt so full of regret and remorse that it almost choked her.

  "Hold on, honey, I think you are almost there." He picked up the belt and rearranged her for better access.

  There? What could this man be talking about? She was not going to have a release like when they made love, no orgasm, and no relief of this tension. He set about placing some unbelievably sizzling belt to butt connections without pause. The tears began to flow and soon there was no stopping them, and with that crying, her release of the pent up feelings came crashing down. She was totally exhausted and boneless now. When she stopped the cleansing cry, she found herself in her husband's strong, gentle arms.

  Ciarán felt it when the release happened and he was never so happy to feel it. One more firm smack was all that was needed to put her over the edge, free of the guilt and the stiffness that indicated resistance. She wasn't physically exhausted for it had been a quick release, but emotionally drained and washed clean. He was relieved that he could get her where she needed and longed to be without much effort. The last session was for punctuating his need to keep her safe and she was already there. This time, she was not near as resistant as the last meaningful meeting, when she felt he was 'taking strips off her butt.' He felt this one was more to clear the air for her—not payment for past wrong deeds, but cleansing.

  Finally, she was calming down, and he could feel some of her old spunk returning, which brought a smile to his face.

  "You were brutal, Mr. O'Connor. That may have been the worst one you have ever administered."

  "I don't think it was, but it probably rivaled one other in intensity, nowhere near the length of others. I can hear the old Mrs. O'Connor coming back to me, but if she knows what is good for her, she will put her claws back and quit complaining or when I am done working tonight, I will repeat the session, with equally distasteful results." Ciarán's voice held a warning and he had cocked his right eyebrow up to challenge her thinking.

  "Yes, sir, I will be good as gold, I promise. Not like I could do anything else with this burning butt." She screeched when he stood up bringing her with him, then setting her on her feet and punctuating his earlier statement with another well-placed swat.

  "Behave, brat."

  Ciarán leaned down, took her lips possessively, and walked out the front door as though nothing had happened between lunch and now.

  "Insufferable man!" she grumbled but with a great big smile on her face.

  This was a beautiful day and she felt the best she had in months and she knew it was because she was married to the most wonderfully infuriating, demanding, loving man on earth. She knew her O'Connor sisters might disagree but for her, he was and would always be the one. She looked forward to the next month with all of its activities and was glad she started with a clean slate.

  Chapter Seven

  What a crazy month. The construction was starting on Jocelyn's Bhaile Haven or Haven House. The official listing would use the Gaelic word for Home but the Americanized version was the working name. It was just another added level of security for those seeking refuge. Andrew and Shane were beginning to alternate weeks at the site. They were a bit surprised that they had won the bid but once that had happened, the ranch got even busier. The brothers used part of the ranch for headquarters in the beginning.

  Everyone on the Circle C had his or her hands full of summer work. Keeping Liam's middle boys occupied but not in the way was difficult and made for some hurt feelings that Liam encouraged Jocelyn to handle. She was better at that than he was. According to Liam anyway.

  Katie wondered how they would be able to keep up on everything with as much as was happening. There were her vegetables that were growing faster than she could put them up or they could eat them. Cián came home for a few weeks and was a joy to get to know better. He was working hard on getting his veterinarian schooling done, and the O'Connors were already talking about putting up a place for him and his vet practice. Cián spoke about a young lady who was also at the school, who was going to be a vet tech or something and it sounded like he was enjoying her company when he had time to do that.

  Katie's nursing was growing and she was now splitting the doctor's office with the other nurse in town because she had wanted to work more regularly and the public health nursing job was offered to her. It was so much better than working twelves at the hospital or fifty hours at the clinic. She now worked half a week at the doctor's office and fifteen to twenty hours for public health. She liked the change and the home visits. Ciarán, Cián, Shane, who was down that week, and Liam talked about it for a while and finally the O'Connor women were able to make enough good points and put into place sufficient assurances, that Ciarán agreed. They were talking about hiring her for ten to fifteen hours a week at Haven House when it was up and running so that everyone's health records were up to date and she could attend small issues that might arise with families while there. Doc Ames would also be on call, but Katie could do the minor physicals and the like herself.

  "Ciarán," Katie had asked, "why is it that in other marriages, the husband consults with his wife not a whole clan of men, and they decide together. We host a gathering of the clans to make a decision."

  "Because, mo chroí, I want to have the council of more than myself to decide on the best course of action when I am not sure. Besides, it is these same men who will protect you if I am not available to do so. Smile, lómhara, you are well loved, and protected as are all the O'Connor women." Ciarán kissed Katie and went about his daily work.

  That being settled in at least Ciarán's mind, Katie worked in the mornings so that she could do her visits in the afternoon. That was when most of her patients were out of bed. She finished by 3:00 p.m. because she often ate in her car going to patient's homes. She felt like she was home more and didn't miss as much of the ranch activities. Ciarán made sure he was done by six o'clock these days if he could help it. Usually, if he was not gone on the trail or such, he made it in no later than 6:30 and did the last walkabout at 9:00.

  The medication she was taking was being titrated down and that seemed to be going well. She had a few more weeks before she would be totally off and one more check to make sure she felt well. Ciarán was off on a long trail ride today, the last day of his horse and rider training class for this month and she knew he would be done late, with a cookout and campfire songs before getting back.

  With at least five hours ahead of her before her hubby returned, she decided to go for a ride herself, packing dinner in a saddle bag. After turning down Jocelyn's offer to eat with them, she rode off towards the mountain trail she and Ciarán loved to travel. Before she left, she told Jocelyn and left a note for Ciarán, telling him her direction but not mentioning going into the mountains, she wasn't sure she would do that.

  The earth was so healing, being in the presence of nature and pure, untouched, serenity. Katie knew that the land could be welcoming or destructive according to the situation, but she had only experienced the nurture of the terrain. While she respected it, the elements that interacted with the land, and the life it gives to all creatures on it, she was also very aware of the life it took away. Somehow, knowing and believing both to be true, made respect and honor natural in the way she existed within this
place she called home.

  Unfortunately, having that intense commune with the land did not make you immune to its fury when nature and its elements decided to react violently and so it happened as Katie was just finishing having a bit to eat that she had brought from home. Not wanting to stop and cook, she had brought a cheese sandwich and a peanut butter sandwich. Unlike Ciarán, she did not like the jelly portion of the PB&J.

  Feeling settled and very satisfied with her day, her changes in work schedules, and her life with Ciarán, her new family, her dad; Katie gathered her contentment around her as she decided to go just a bit further into the mountain pathway than she had first thought. She found some berries that were just ripe for the picking. Blueberries ran into huckleberries and she picked until she was unable to put more into her makeshift containers that had carried her dinner. Feeling accomplished and ready for home, she closed her pack and loaded it back onto her saddle making the leap into her saddle seat easily. Turning her horse around, she headed for home.

  Thunder rumbled in the air as Katie walked her horse out of the mountain trail and she soon saw lightening followed by more thunder. She cursed under her breath as she emerged from the covered path into the more open area and she was speckled in quick succession with large drops of rain. Having been under the cover of the mountain trail, and preoccupied with the berries and her own thoughts, Katie failed to realize the sky turning dark quicker than normal and the signs that would have told her a change of weather was fast approaching.

  A summer drencher was common in this part of the mountains. It was also something for which you should heed the warning signs due to its extremely violent activities. The wind picked up even more than it had done earlier and Katie was feeling sorry for herself. She drew on her slicker, never going far without it, but even that was too little too late as she was already nearly soaked.

  With the wind blowing, she was feeling chilled after the heat of the afternoon and the change in temperatures brought more thunder and lightning. The rain was forming rivers of water down her slicker onto her saddle and too wet and cold to care, she walked her horse carefully down the last of the tricky part of the trail before finding flatter ground and solid footing to pick up speed and a moderate trot. As the rain continued, the lightning seemed to be closer. The thunder seemed to explode over her head and all around her, spooking her mount.